


Latibule

by AGirlWithPicturesInHerMind



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: 2 panic attacks (chapters 12 and 13), Doc/Wynonna but minimal, F/F, Light struggle with PTSD starting (chaper 12 and 13) but no more after that, Long Distance Relationship, Lots of Angst, WayHaught Au, but also lots of fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-22
Updated: 2018-05-27
Packaged: 2018-12-05 06:16:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 88,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11572098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AGirlWithPicturesInHerMind/pseuds/AGirlWithPicturesInHerMind
Summary: New York City Police Officer Nicole Haught and best-selling author Waverly Earp have fallen in love. The problem? They're 2,500 miles away from each other.Except, that's not the only problem.





	1. Imagine Me & You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy reading :-)

_It wasn't how I had imagined it._

_I didn't think it would take a bullet, let alone 3, to finally have her here. It was frightening, I'll give you that. It was different, and there was a lot of hesitance. I didn't know how to feel. I had every emotion a human could possibly feel running through me. I was angry at how fate had decided that it would all come to be, how we'd finally be together– truly together. I was heartbroken because of what had to happen in order for her to be in my arms. She still had another year to go, we'd decided that. But, now she didn't have much of a choice. To top off all of the confusion, I couldn't help but feel happy that she was finally with me._

_And every time I felt that joy, even just a small spark of it, I couldn't help but wonder, did it make me selfish?_

 

❧

Waverly Earp is sitting on the shag rug on her living room floor, reading a book, when she hears a knock on the door.

Her eyebrows scrunch together in confusion, not having been expecting company. She lifts herself off of the ground, putting her book on the coffee table that rests in front of her, as well as her Harry Potter-like reading glasses (only less circular), before opening the door.

"Hey, baby girl!" Her older sister greets from the other side of the door with a wide smile, clad in a black tank top that ended just above her belly button, a necklace that seemed to be permanently stuck around her neck, and tight jeans despite the hot weather.

"Nonna!" She greets with a smile tantamount to Wynonna's. "What are you doing here?" She still manages to ask suspiciously. Wynonna was, surprisingly, the type of person who always texted her before she went over. She'd never ask of course that would be _too_ unlike her, she'd just announce, but she'd text anyway. Said that she wouldn't want to arrive and waste a trip if her sister wasn't home, something about, "I could've spent that time drinking." The days she did show up unannounced, there was usually a selfish motive behind it. Harmless, but selfish nonetheless.

"Jeez, sis," Wynonna scoffs in offense, unconvincingly. "I come bearing pizza and whiskey. I know you wanted to see your girlfriend today and that you'd be feeling down, so," she trails off before saying, "You gonna let me in or what?"

Waverly, still feeling suspicious, gives Wynonna a warm smile in response. "I don't know if I believe you, but I _do_ know that you're my favorite sister," she says as she takes the pizza from Wynonna's hands, and let's her in. The aroma hitting her nose, and her stomach growling in response, makes her realize she'd neglected noticing how hungry she'd actually been.

"Well, I'm your only sister so, is that really a compliment?" Wynonna responds as she settles down on the leather sofa and grabs the throw blanket to lay over her legs. She rests her back against the couch.

Reading the pained look on her sister's face along with the groan her sister let out, Waverly asks Wynonna if she's okay.

"I half lied," Wynonna admits. "I half came over to comfort you and half came over to squeeze your hand tightly to endure these cramps as blood drips out of my vagina _ever so cruelly_."

Waverly rolls her eyes at Wynonna's extremely dramatic words, as she puts down the pizza on the coffee table. She takes a look at Wynonna, then back at the pizza and her eyes narrow in suspicion. She knows that Wynonna still wants something more, and she thinks she knows what it is. She let's out a sigh and breathes out, "You didn't pay for that pizza did you?"

"This pizza should not cost $20!" Wynonna argues quickly, not even bothering to decline the accusation.

Waverly lets out a groan as she throws her head back. "Goddamnit, Nonna. Where are they?" She asks, already walking over to her purse on the coat hanger to take out her wallet.

"I told him to hide behind the bushes."

Waverly shakes her head at her sister before walking outside and stepping onto her porch. Sure enough, a boy around the age of 16 walks out from behind the bushes wearing a bright red hat and a small expression of fear, and confusion. She doesn't say anything to him and just hands him thirty dollars. (A ten-dollar tip for having to put up with Wynonna.)

"Sorry, kid," she offers an apologetic smile, and turns around to walk back in without waiting for a repsonse. She finds Wynonna already enjoying a slice of pizza.

"Let me guess," Wavlery begins monotonously, "You drove over here 20 minutes ago, ordered pizza from your car, and when he arrived you took the pizza and told him to hide, and that someone would come out to pay him?"

Wynonna flashes her a cheeky smile, "You know me so well, kid."

"And he just listened to you?" Waverly says as she crosses her arms.

"I gave him my most intimidating face," Wynonna answers proudly, taking another bite of her pizza.

"I don't even know why I deal with you," Waverly says with another shake of her head.

"Cause you love me," Wynonna replies with a mouth full of pizza.

Waverly looks at her with amusement and and nods her head, "Unfortunately." She walks into her kitchen to grab them each a water bottle, but before she steps out into the living room again, she opens a drawer and takes out a small white bottle.

When she walks back, Wynonna is already grabbing her 3rd slice of pizza.

Waverly tosses her the bottles, which Wynonna catches with ease, and says, "Here's some Advil."

"You keep Advil in your kitchen?" Wynonna asks with raised eyebrows.

"I get a lot of headaches," Waverly shrugs in response as she grabs a slice of pizza from the box labeled _Purgatory's Best_. "But, if you take it, you can't drink whiskey. Not a good combo," she says in between bites.

Wynonna spits out the 2 pills she'd thrown into her mouth into her cupped hand, and says, "If I can handle the wrongly aimed, but strong punches from my students, then I can handle cramps. Now pass the whiskey," she lightly commands as she slaps Waverly's thigh.

"I told you not to teach boxing," Waverly argues, as she settles back further against the side of the sofa after having passed the whiskey to Wynonna.

"I get to punch people _and_ get paid for it? How could I not do it?" Wynonna argues back.

Waverly just chuckles in response knowing that it _was_ the perfect job for Wynonna. They eat in silence for a while, listening only to the whiskey being uncapped every now and then and Wynonna's groans of pain, until said Earp finally speaks up in a serious tone, "So… how you doing, baby girl?"

Waverly shrugs, knowing full well what Wynonna is talking about. "It's hard," she hesitantly admits. "Dating someone for 5 months and never seeing them face to face," she sighs, "It sucks." She grabs the whiskey from Wynonna and takes a swig. "I knew what we'd be getting into, I mentally," she refrains from saying physically, aware that the Wynonna would make a dirty joke, "prepared myself, but it doesn't make it any easier. I've just never wanted to just hold someone so goddamn hard in my life, you know?"

Wynonna nods to show she's listening, but says nothing, knowing her sister isn't done talking yet.

"But, we're–" She's interrupted when she hears her phone ringing from the kitchen where she has it charging. "Give me a second," she tells Wynonna before getting up.

Waverly walks to the kitchen and her heart beat speeds up when she grabs her phone from the island and she sees the name Nicole HOT displayed on the screen. Before Waverly can even say hi, Nicole squeals on the other side of the phone. Waverly flinches at the volume and pulls the phone away from her ear until the screaming ends, but there's huge smile on her face nonetheless.

"Waves, I'm done!" Nicole finally speaks.

Waverly lets out squeal of her own in response, her girlfriend's tone of excitement being contagious. "Hold on, hold on, I'm going to FaceTime you!" Waverly lets out hastily, hanging up before Nicole has a chance to agree or not.

Waverly's smile widens impossibly when Nicole's angelic face in invades her screen. She's catches the words _Madison Square Garden_ to the right of Nicole and she can see the top of her cadet graduate uniform—just above her chest, considering it was all she could capture in the screen—and she sports a wide grin, her teeth flashing and dimples showing. Her peaked cap rests on her red hair and her eyes display excitement for what's to come—a life as a New York City Police Officer.

"Waverly!" Nicole screams again, ignoring the looks of a few passerbys. Waverly could clearly see that she was on cloud 9 and nothing was going to bring her back down.

"Congratulations, babe! I'm so, _so_ proud of you, Nicole! This is so amazeballs!" she says with genuine excitement.

Nicole looks down a bit and smiles shyly. "You know, for an author, your choice of words always surprise me," Nicole laughs, amusements alongside the joy swimming around in her eyes.

Waverly rolls her eyes in response. "I can't believe you're done." She says as she shakes her in astonishment, a proud smile on her face as she thinks back to everything Nicole had gone through the last 6 months.

Waverly hears Nicole let out a happy sigh. She sees a strand of hair has escaped her girlfriend's tight bun and she almost reaches out to tuck it back behind her ear before realizing that they weren't actually together, although it always felt like it when they'd talk. She desperately longed to touch her, to feel her fingers in between hers, for their lips to touch in a soft kiss.

"Thanks, baby," Nicole begins. "I can't believe it either. With all the training and work we had…I didn't think it would ever end," she laughed. "But, it was worth it. _God_ , was it worth it. I'm a New York City police officer now!" She says with a proud smile.

"Hell yeah, you are!" Waverly cheers along.

From the living room Wynonna yells, "Tell HaughtPants I said congrats on joining the dark side!"

Waverly's about to repeat what she said when Nicole yells back, "Cops aren't the dark side!" She mutters _asshole_ underneath her breath, but breaks out into a laugh.

Waverly smiles at her laughter because Nicole sounds so happy, and carefree, but her smile falters when she's sees Nicole's smile droop a little bit out of nowhere. "You okay, pretty girl?" Waverly looks at her with soft eyes, already knowing what Nicole was going to say.

"Yeah, I just," she trails off hesitantly and Waverly can tell that she's debating whether she should say the next sentence or not, considering they'd already discussed it.

Waverly had wanted to go visit Nicole in New York and see her in person for the first time. Graduating from the academy was a huge deal for Nicole, and she desperately wanted be there to celebrate with her, but Nicole insisted they wait just a few more weeks like they had originally planned. She didn't want to meet her girlfriend in the midst of 400 cadets and cheering. "It would be too chaotic," she had replied with a look of hesitance, not wanting Waverly to think that she didn't want to see her.

Waverly had understood, but that didn't mean that a small ache, one that she'd sadly become familiar with, hadn't settled in her chest after hearing the words.

"I wish you were here with me," Nicole finally admits. She looks down, but Waverly can still see the sadness etched in her eyebrows.

The ache in Waverly's chest settles once again in the place it always does, a heavy weight just above her breasts, willing her to just give up, that a relationship like this wasn't worth it. It, the feeling, always came back.

But, more importantly, she always ignored it.

She didn't want Nicole to feel down on her graduation day, so she spoke hopeful words instead with as much confidence as she could muster, "Just 21 more days, Nicole."

Nicole nods, and looks up again to meet her eyes. With a smile taking over her face again (Waverly mentally pats herself on the back), she states, "21 more days." She turns around when Waverly herself hears a few of who she assumes to be fellow officers calling out Nicole's name. Nicole yells back, "Give me a second!"

"Go," Waverly says quickly, hiding her sadness well, when Nicole faces her. "Celebrate."

"Are you sure?" Nicole asks as she bites her lip.

"Yes! Of course, go drink, _responsibly_ ," she emphasizes, "or something. Have fun, you of all deserve a break. In fact, you deserve to feel this happiness forever," she says with a sweet smile. "Just text me when you're home, okay?"

Nicole flashes her another grand smile. She blushes lightly and bites her lip again to stop her smile from growing even wider in response to the sweet words. "Okay, but Waves?" Nicole asks before she hangs up.

"Yeah?" Waverly asks with a tilt in her head.

"Thank you," she says simply.

"Thank you?" Waverly asks in confusion. "For what?"

"You may not physically be here, but you were here for me, in a different way. I don't know how I could've gone through this without you. You're all I got," she ends.

A warmth settles in Waverly's chest like a thousand fireflires.

"You're the strongest person I know, Nicole. You—"

"Waves. _Thank you_ ," Nicole repeats with more conviction this time.

Waverly gets the message. Nicole knows who and what she is, that she could have gone through it all by herself, but Waverly had made it a little easier. Waverly smiles at her, teeth and all, warmly, "You're welcome," she answers, accepting the comment. She adds, "I _am_ proud of you, remember that."

Nicole gives her a look that makes her heart stutter. "I will, babe." She blows her a kiss, and hangs up.

And Waverly was proud. She'd met Nicole a week after they'd both graduated from high school, Waverly only being 4 months younger, on Tumblr. After just a couple of weeks, both young woman had grown close and had only continued to get closer.

She'd been there to wish Nicole luck during her first day at NYU. She was there to ask how'd she done after her midterms in Investigative Principles, Victimology, and the rest of her classes. She'd provide words of comfort when Nicole wanted to give up, and encouragement when Nicole was falling asleep while doing homework. And still, 2 years later she was there to congratulate her for getting her associates degree in Law Enforcement and for getting into the New York Police Academy 6 months ago. 30,000 apply, only about 400 are chosen, and Nicole was one of them and she was _so_ goddamn proud.

Waverly puts down her phone and sulkily walks back to the sofa. She steals the blanket off of her sister's legs, who's head is thrown back with her eyes closed, and throws it over head. She lets out a groan and throws herself down, her head landing on Wynonna's legs. Wynonna wordlessly taps her forehead twice, and Waverly removes the blanket. Wynonna begins playing with the young brunette's hair knowing that the familiar action would relax her.

It did.

"I missed one of the most important moments in her life, Nonna," she sighs sadly. She pauses for a moment before saying, "If we survived these past 5 months, we can survive the next 3 weeks, right? Especially because she has more time now?" Waverly asks, craving a confirmation that everything would be okay.

Wynonna looks down at Waverly with a soft look, not a pitiful one, but one of understanding even though she couldn't relate with her sister. "You guys will be okay," Wynonna says as she grabs Waverly's hand and squeezes.

"Yeah?"

"Absolutely," Wynonna confirms. "Now, what do you say we watch a sappy romance movie?"

Wvaelry scoffs as she sits up again (Wynonna steals the blanket back with a glare). "You want to want a romantic movie?"

"Periods make me sappy and emotional, c'mon you know that," Wynonna argues as she slaps her sister's arm.

Waverly laughs softly as she shakes her head in response as she recalls a specific week when Wynonna read _The Notebook_ and cried in the end when normally she would've scoffed and thrown it across the room. Actually, normal Wynonna would've never even picked up a Nicholas Sparks book, _wait_ … Wynonnna read books in general?

Waverly's pulled out of her thoughts when Wynonna hits her in the face with a pillow.

" _Ow_!" Waverly says loudly even though she wasn't hurt in the slightest. "Will you stop hitting me!" She exclaims.

"Where'd you go?" Wynonna asks, ignoring the cry, as she gulps down some more whiskey. "Put on a movie!" She yells.

"Geez, grumpy pants, why don't you go bother Doc?" Waverly mutters under her breath as she gets her phone to pick out a movie. She goes through the list of her bought movies before she settles on one that she's seen multiple times, but is sure Wynonna has never watched.

"Doc's working tonight, " Wynonna answers as she begins twirling the ring on her left hand. "Speaking of which, want to go to Shorty's tonight?"

Waverly shrugs indifferently not having any plans, "Sure." She connects her phone to the T.V. and she sits back as she grabs her third slice of pizza as _Imagine Me & You _starts playing.

Another movie, and many hours later, she gets a text from Nicole, in between shots and beers, that reads, "I'm back home and safe. I'll call you tomorrow morning," along with a couple of red hearts and a the female cop emoji just because she can.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not much YET, but I hope you liked it anyway :-)


	2. The Space Between Us

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy reading :-)

_Mornings with her were my favorite._

_Sometimes, we wouldn't be able to text throughout the day, or call each other before bed, but Skype calls in the morning were a constant. It was something we could always look forward to. It was our norm. If we couldn't have a normal relationship, we could have something that felt like it was. A small routine._

_"Have I ever told you that you look beautiful in the morning?"_

_That's something I would ask her every single morning, and it never failed to make her blush or smile. The first morning I asked her that, she said that no one had ever called her beautiful in a messy bun and oversized sweater, so I made it my personal mission to say it every day._

_Even in person. Even on the days when she was bandaged, and bruised, and her solemn eyes were red and swollen with exhaustion. Even when she felt like she carried the weight of the world on her shoulders. Even when she woke up crying as the nightmares took over like monsters crawling out from under the bed to disturb the peaceful sleep of a child._

_She was always beautiful. She is always so beautiful._

❧

Waverly is awaken by the annoyingly familiar sounds of a skype call early in the morning, and the first thing she does is subconsciously move her hand to cradle her head which is pounding with pain—but not too much, thanks to her Earp blood and high tolerance for alcohol. She blindly reaches out to grab her phone on the stand beside her bed. When she holds the phone close to her face, she answers, her eyes opening up just enough to see where the _answer_ button sits.

"Good morning, sunshine!" Nicole instantly greets Waverly happily, but her smile falters slightly when she notices that Waverly's eyes are only half opened. "I'm sorry, did I wake you?" She asks in a regretful tone.

Waverly smiles because she swears to Aphrodite that Nicole is the most adorable human being to have ever existed. Waverly's sleeping schedule is complete shit, and Nicole is always reminding her that sleep is "more important than life" (whatever that means) and that she needs 7 hours of it. So, the fact that she just woke her up must have her reprimanding herself.

"You're usually already up, so I figured I'd call," Nicole trails off when Waverly's head hits the pillow. "And you fell asleep."

Waverly decides she should probably speak up now. "No, I'm awake," she speaks up as she looks at her phone for brief second and watches her girlfriend's eyes light up. It reminds her of when the sun rises and fills the dark morning with light, giving her that sense of awe.

She closes her eyes again.

"Just barely," Nicole responds with amusement. "Long night?" Waverly opens her eyes again, this time keeping them open. From the angle Nicole's laid her phone, she's assuming that it's against something on the countertop of her kitchen, she sees her throwing ingredients into a bowl.

"What are you making?" Waverly asks before yawning.

"Waffles."

Waverly's mouth waters just at the thought of eating waffles right now. "That sounds delicious," she groans.

Nicole giggles in repsonse, and awaits Waverly's answer to her question. Waverly stays quiet for a few moments, trying to fully wake herself up. She sits up with another yawn and throws her phone on her bed before stretching. She pulls the single drawer of the bedside stand open, and takes out her 2nd of 5 bottles of Advil stored around her house. _Perks of being a writer_ , she'd told the cashier at the pharmacy, along with a _what can you do?_  look, when he gave her a worried look.

After drowning down the pill with a glass of water she always put bedside her (even in drunken states), she picks up her phone again and watches Nicole cook. She has her hair up in a messy bun, a complete constrast to yesterday's tight, perfect bun, a pair of shorts and a t-shirt that reads Jill Andrews.

At that moment Waverly has a vision of that exact scene, but in this vision she's walking up to Nicole–as Nicole's favorite song by Andrews plays on a speaker, _Tell That Devil_ – and they're both singing at the top of their lungs despite the early hour and Waverly ends up laughing, her face resting against Nicole's back, her arms snaked around her girlfriend's waist.

Her heart warms and aches at the same time when she comes back to reality.

"Where'd you go, Waves?" Nicole asks softly when she sees Waverly shake her head as if getting rid of a thought.

"Yeah, sorry, uhh, nowhere," Waverly says.

Nicole gives her a smile and accepts the answer.

"Have I ever told you that you look beautiful in the morning?" Waverly asks, changing the topic. She smirks when she sees Nicole's cheeks turn a light pink.

"Every morning, Waves," Nicole says with a shy smile.

"And I'll continue to do so, pretty girl," Waverly states as a matter-of-factly.

Nicole looks at Waverly through her eyelashes and gives her a goofy grin, "I know."

Waverly returns her smile before finally answering Nicole's inital question, "Wynonna came over last night, as you know, and we went to Shorty's for awhile, thus the still sleeping part."

"That also explains why you didn't respond to my message last night," Nicole interrupts with amusement.

Waverly gives her a confused look and she pulls down her Notification Center to see that she does, in fact, have an unread message from Nicole. She reads the message quickly, then looks at Nicole guiltily.

"Sorry," she says with a scrunch of her nose. "We ended up falling asleep at around 4. That's why I was still knocked out."

"You slept for 3 hours?" Nicole's eyes opened wide. "You should've told me! I could've called you later," she states.

Waverly giggles at how cute Nicole is, but ignores her comment. "It's fine, Nic. I've got to go check on Wynonna anyway, make sure she's still alive. But," Waverly continues, "enough about me, how was your night? How'd you guys celebrate?"

Nicole recalls her entire night to Waverly, not excluding any details, for 15 minutes and by the end of it Waverly has tears in her eyes from laughing too hard at the story of how Alex, Nicole's friend, attempted to walk up to a guy to flirt, but only ended up falling on her ass and spilling her drink on his shirt. And if that wasn't bad enough, she threw up on his shoes.

"That's the best story I've ever heard in my life," Waverly says, wiping away some tears. "Poor Alex," she giggles again. Before Nicole can speak, Waverly hears Wynonna call her name from the living room sofa.

"I've got to go," Waverly says sadly, "a demon is summoning me," she adds with a teasing tone.

Nicole chuckles."Why'd she stay over at yours?" She questions from where she sits on her table as she pops a piece of the two waffles she made into her mouth. "Trouble in paradise?" She asks with a raised eyebrow.

"I'm not sure," Waverly begins. "Neither her nor Doc said anything last night, and they seemed mostly fine, but I _could_ feel a slight tension in the air so," Waverly ends with a shrug. "I'm gonna ask Nonna about it later."

Nicole hums in response. "Okay, I'll leave you to it then." She gives Waverly a smile that makes her heart race.

"Bye!" Waverly grins back and waves.

Nicole gives her a final wink, and hangs up.

❧

Wynonna and Waverly are making their way down the street into their local diner, _Red's Diner_ , for 2 vanilla milkshakes to help them cool down from the heat as the sun shines down on them hard. The clouds themselves seem to be hiding from the heat, leaving the sun bare and free to burn as it pleases, as beads of sweat make their way down the backs of their necks and foreheads like children riding down slides carelessly.

It seemed as though God was showing them signs that he'd made a last-minute decision: In Purgatory they wouldn't be purified or forgiven of their sins, instead they'll all be going straight to hell. The weather said _Get used to it, folks, this is what you'll be feeling for eternity._

When they enter the 50's-like diner—a jukebox rests in the corner, the booths bright red, and a black and white checkered floor—it's full of people who seem to have had the same idea as them, all of them enjoying milkshakes or banana splits, and they both allow themselves to revel in the air conditioning.

Waverly looks to the bar, where the owner of the place, Red Arin—a fairly young single mother of 2 who opened up the restaurant 2 years ago—stands and she gives her a sweet smile and wave. Red grins back with warmth. She always liked Waverly; she babysat her kids when she needed a last minute babysitter, and 18-year old Waverly was the one who'd inspired her to open up a restaurant, a dream of hers she'd been putting off for far too long, when she published her book. She said to herself, _if this teenager can succeed like that, well then so can I._ And she had been succeeding, the retro diner attracted many tourists, especially those heading to the Canadian Rockies, and she'd never felt more fulfilled in her life, all thanks to the young brunette.

Red gives them a nod, allowing them to sit wherever they please. The Earp sisters make their way to an open booth towards the back and wait to be waited by someone.

Waverly sits back and looks around her. There's a couple of families in the longer tables, a few high school teens, but there's mainly people that Waverly has grown envious of the past 5 months.

 _Couples_.

"Stupid fucking couples," Waverly mutters under her breath, but Wynonna hears her anyway. She lets out a sigh, her chin resting on the palm of her hand, and adds, "My situation is balls."

"C'mon, baby girl. Lighten up," Wynonna responds casually. When she notices the familiar spark of sadness in her sister's eyes, however, she reaches out across the table and grabs Waverly's hands. "3 more weeks, Wave. We talked about this yesterday, stop worrying," she says seriously, but with love. She wears an encouraging smile, one that was reserved for her sister, one that any other person in the town would find strange considering her badass reputation.

After a long minute, Waverly finally meets her sisters eyes. "You're right," she says with a curt nod, but the pain remains, demanding to be felt.

"I'm always right," Wynonna states. "I'm also really craving some fries with our shakes, what do you say?"

Waverly gets no time to respond when a waitresss, a young blonde who looks around her age, walks up to them to take their order. Waverly orders milkshakes and fries for the both of them.

In response, Wynonna gives her a wide, close-lippped smile with dimples that reminded her of Nicole. Nicole Haught, who's almost 3,000 miles away from her. She groans internally.

She decides to distract her mind for a bit.

"Hey, Nonna. Speaking of stupid couples," Waverly jokes, "You and Doc, you guys okay? I couldn't help, but notice that you two seemed a bit… _off_ yesterday."

Wynonna lets out a sigh (she knew Waverly would catch on to the tension), as her hands move to her abdomen, feeling the beginnings of a cramp. "We're great," she says simply.

Waverly raises her eyebrows at her and gives her a hard, intimidating look that's sure to get Wynonna to talk.

It does.

"Alright, alright," Wynonna says as she as she throws her hands up. That damned look always got to her. Waverly smiled innocently.

"We're okay." Waverly starts giving her the look, " _ish_ " she adds hastily. "It's just that," she hesitates before continuing, "Doc wants to, you know, try to, um, have a baby."

Waverly's eyes open wide. She was most definitely _not_ expecting Wynonna to say that. She has a million questions and thoughts running through her mind, but she knows that Wynonna will just shut down if she's bombarded and shrug them all off. She decides to go with, "And what do you have to say about that?"

Wynonna pauses for a second to think about her answer. "I…don't know," she admits, her shoulders drooping as she lets out a breath she didn't know she was holding. "I just feel like I'm not ready, but then I see a cute baby and their little tiny nose and feet, and I ask myself _is anyone ever really ready_?"

Waverly bites back a smile.

"I guess, I'm just scared," she starts honestly, "of the idea of forming and…and taking care of another human being, but also, I don't know, it sounds nice, doesn't it?" Wynonna ends with a sweet smile.

Waverly holds back a squeal of excitement. She doesn't want to get her hopes up, but she can't help but imagine herself being an aunt (maybe with Nicole by her side). "You can wait if you want, Wynonna. But, talk it out with your husband. This is a _huge_ topic. You need to be completely open and honest."

Wynonna lets out a groan. "I know."

Wynonna's about to speak again, when turns her head to the side when she sees their friends in her peripheral vision walking into the diner. The second she sees that Jeremy's stiff as a rock, and she can practically hear the inner groan she knows he's taking every time he takes a step, she smirks the cockiest smirk Waverly's ever seen.

"You alright there, Jeremy?" Wynonna asks from the booth in a faux innocent tone.

Jeremy's head snaps up at the sound of Wynonna's voice and his eyes widen. He quickly attempts, very badly, to make himself look as though he hadn't just landed on Earth from living in Mars his whole life and was just adjusting to the gravity. Dolls, who's walking beside him, tries to hold in his laughter as he takes a seat next to Wynonna in the booth. Jeremy glares at the pair as he sits down and lets out that groan.

"Okay, what's happening?" Waverly asks in confusion. "Why are you walking like you've got peacemaker stuck up your butt?" Wynonna snorts at the reference to their great, great, grandfather's gun. The peacemaker currently lies in a safe in Wynonna's closet under a loose floorboard buried under boxes of shoes.

Her home had been broken into a couple of times, as well as Waverly's, in search for the gun, but people never found it. They'd gotten lucky, however, because those who wanted the gun, _only_ went for the gun; they never took anything else. She keeps it hidden because she has no use for it anymore—she likes fighting, not shooting. Plus, it's a family heir loom that's been passed down through a few generations and she wasn't going to just sell it.

"Your sister happened," Jeremy says as he reaches out to grab Waverly's milkshake to take a sip. She slaps his hand away, but his glare remains on the eldest Earp.

"I may or may not have trained him hard yesterday," Wynonna shrugs indifferently.

"I tried convincing her to take it easy on him," Dolls says. He's the owner of Black Badge Division, and he'd hired Wynonna 7 years ago, a year after opening the boxing gym. He continues, "But you know how your sister is."

"She doesn't go easy on anyone, I know," Waverly glares at Wynonna too as she remembers the time she tried to train her in self-defense when she was 16 and knocked her down to the floor the first 30 seconds in.

Wynonna throws her hands up in surrender, "Whoa folks. I _did_ warn him. Don't eat my fries Dolls," she ends seriously when she catches him trying to sneak one into his mouth. He drops it immediately.

Waverly lets out a giggle and she throws an arm around Jeremy's shoulder, squeezing tightly. "Aw, jer. Should've listened to her."

"Yeah, yeah," he responds as he waves the waitress over, the group laughing as he winces when he raises his arm.

Waverly looks around her and smiles at her small family. In reality, all they had was each other.

Jeremy's parents had completely broken all ties between themselves and their son when he came out to them as gay, and sought out a home in Purgatory at the age of 17. Xavier had moved to the small town when he turned 21 after having his heart broken by the woman he was supposed to marry. Then there was her and Wynonna, who were lost souls for a years before meeting their friends.

They were outsiders who've lost people who managed to find a home.

They were living examples that families _could_ be chosen and created.

And Waverly can't help but think that Nicole would fit right into their their little misfit family.

❧

Nicole and Waverly's circumstances were obviously much different than most couples. They had over 2,500 miles between them, but they didn't want that to stop them from being as normal as they could.

Sometimes, the young couple would Skype one another, even if wasn't to chat, but to just _be_ with each other (without actually being with each other). Waverly had her ipad standing beside her as she read a book and Nicole's laptop was in front of her on her bed as she wrote in a journal. It was moments like these that the women appreciated the most because they almost felt normal.

 _Almost_.

It was nearing almost 2 in the morning—barely nearing 12 in Purgatory—and Waverly could tell that her girlfriend was tired. But, she also knew that she loved to write in her journal every single night before letting sleep take over her.

Her girlfriend wrote down 3 things she was grateful for first. (Waverly didn't know it, but her name was always number 1 in Nicole's list). Then, she'd just write whatever she felt like writing: a crappy poem or song, maybe a short story, or she'd write something like describing what the sound of the crickets made her feel. It was her weird way of expressing herself, an idea that Waverly adored.

She smiles when she sees the redhead yawn adorably.

"You should get some sleep, pretty girl," Waverly says softly.

Nicole looks up when she hears Waverly speak, she looks like she'd almost forgotten she was there. "I will, I'm just finishing up this sentence." After another minute, she closes her journal and puts it beside her on the bed, her pen on top of it.

"What are you writing about?" Wavlery asks curiously.

Waverly's heart would burst if she could read Nicole's mind. _I'm writing about how it would feel to have you here in my bed, your head on my chest as we fall asleep together. The moonlight shining on your face making you look impossibly more beautiful._

"Oh, nothing too interesting," Nicole lies. "What about you?" She changes the topic quickly. "What'd you say you were reading again?"

Waverly realizes that Nicole doesn't want to talk about what she wrote, so she responds, " _A House in the Sky_."

"And it's a memoir?" Nicole asks.

"Of course!"

Nicole laughs at her girlfriend's enthusiasm. "Well, what's it about?"

Waverly jumps into the story of what happened to Amanda Lindhout in 2009 after being captured in Somalia on a job for 10 minutes when she sees Nicole yawn again. "And I'm boring you aren't I?" She laughs softly, not taking any offense.

"What? No!" Nicole is quick to clarify. "I'm just tired. I'm not used to being up this late anymore." She shrugs.

Waverly could understand that. She'd grown accustomed to waking up and falling asleep early considering that 17 hours later of training _probably_ takes it's toll. Nicole had taken the time to tell her one weekend what type of things they would learn and done at the academy. There were hours spent practicing driving, the times she pretended to arrest her classmates during scenarios, she even told her about the way she had to evenly spread her clothes in her closet and make her bed to learn about detail.

She'd get calls from Nicole as she bathed to relax after boxing defensive tactics they'd learned that day. The one that had scared Waverly was when Nicole had FaceTimed her with red eyes earned from the pepper spray training. She also remembers being distracted when Nicole lowered her phone and Waverly could see the top of her breasts, the bubbles in the tub just high enough to cover—

"Waves, you okay?"

Waverly refrains herself from widening her eyes. She clears her throat and feels her face turn read as she squeaks out, "Yeah, I'm fine. Just my room is, uhh, hot."

Nicole gives her a suspicious look, but lets it go. "Okay," she draws out. "I'll talk to you tomorrow then, yeah?"

Waverly smiles at her softly and nods. "Goodnight, pretty girl."

"Good night, love." Nicole's face disappears and Waverly lets out a sigh and looks at the time. 12:30 am. _Is it too late to take a shower?_ She shrugs to herself. _I'm taking a shower. A cold shower,_ she corrects herself.

❧

A few days later Waverly's in her home, a journal on the floor in front of her (she always preferred to sit on the floor, than her sofa) and she's writing a short story, just for her own entertainment.

_There wasn't any time._

_If she didn't leave, then it'd be too late. The cops were already on their way._

_But it wasn't the right time, either. There were endless amounts of cars outside, and she'd take far too long to get to the woods._

_Goddamnit, she thinks as she looks down at her hands, and clothes which are painted in drying blood. She looks an abstract art painting. Maybe she wouldn't have looked so bad if she hadn't just taken a life._

_Why did I call the cops? She asks to herself hysterically. She's already going insane._

_But, she didn't have a choice. He would've killed her. (No, he wouldn't have)._

_Yes, he would've, she argues with the first voice in her mind._

_No._

_Yes._

_She didn't have a choice. She had to get him out of the way to see_ her. _There was no other way. She needed her._

Waverly's read of her story is interrupted when she gets a text.

 **Nicole** : 15 more days...

She smiles like a smitten teenager when she sees what it says.

 **Waverly** : And 2 hours...

 **Nicole** : And 14 minutes...

 **Waverly** : But who's counting?

 **Nicole** : Definitely not me

 **Waverly** : ♡

She lets out a sigh, her story forgotten, and lays on her back to stare at the ceiling and goes over a hundred different scenarios in her head, all about the day she'll meet Nicole.

❧

The sun is half-hidden, half-exposed, as if a shy toddler hiding behind a blanket at the sight of a stranger, filling the sky with the rare, but welcomed sight of royal purples slowly turning into pink instead of the usual golden yellows and different shades of orange.

Waverly is sitting in the living room of Wynonna and Doc's home after having been invited over for dinner and she's holding a conversation with Doc about vintage cars, a strange and random passion of hers, and Doc's currently talking about how badly he wants to own a shiny, black 1959 De Soto Adventurer. From the side of her eyes, she watches the sun go down, or as Waverly says to those who use the expression she watches _the Earth rise_. Despite Doc having most of her attention, another side of her is focusing on the excitement that bubbles in her chest at the thought of watching the sunset with Nicole at her favorite dandelion-filled field, Nicole's head on her chest, with her own arms around the redhead.

Wynonna herself is in her own world, not thinking about anything in particular, but she gave up pretending to understand what her husband and sister were speaking about 5 minutes into the conversation. Her attention is captured when her eyes land on a book that's peaking out of Waverly's bag. Curiosity gets the best of her and she reaches out to grab it.

" _A House in the Sky_ ," she mumbles to herself. Her eyes roam the blue surface of the book, jokingly expecting to see Carl and Russel from _Up_ before she opens up the book to the first page and her eyes still when she catches the 2 words under the title.

"A memoir?" She asks louder as she looks at Waverly, interrupting her conversation with Doc. "Sorry," she says unapologetically. "Knowing you, whenever you want to write a new book, you read the books related to the genre you want to write. You want to write a memoir?" She asks, unbelieving, in a slightly harsh tone.

Waverly only nods sheepishly in response, but is also confused by Wynonna's reaction. "Do you not think it's a good idea?" Waverly asks slowly, her eyebrows scrunched in confusion.

"I can't… you can't write about mom and dad, Waverly. You can't write about _me_ , I don't want that exposed, for the world to see because you want to make money!" Wynonna says in shock that her sister would even _think_ about writing it all in the first place. That's what memoirs were always about, right? About something terrible or morose that happened in someone's life and how they overcame it?

Waverly gapes and her eyes widen, she turns to look at Doc who's also in shock. "No, Wynonna, I would never write about them, _especially_ you, without your permission, but even then, I wouldn't want to," She gets up quickly and sits next her sister, an arm going around her shoulders without a second thought. "I'm not writing about them, or you, I promise," she hushes.

Waverly's had many eventful things happen in her life, some great, some bad, some she wants to push out of her mind forever. She understood why Wynonna's mind automatically went to the idea that Waverly would write about her family, it was the most dramatic of events that had happened in both of their lives, so why shouldn't she write about it?

When she was 3 and Wynonna was 9, they were abandoned by their mother. To this day, they still don't know why. All they know is that one night, she was tucking them into bed, giving them a kiss on their nose, and whispering goodnight like she always did, and the next morning she was gone, their father heartbroken and crying with his knees pulled up, his head buried in his arms, in the middle of the living room. There was a note in his right hand and Wynonna had walked up to grab the note and slipped it easily from the light grip, unknowning to their father.

She walked back to Waverly who was standing completely still, unsure of why her dad, the strongest person she's ever known, was crying like the time they took her toys away for yelling at her mom when she didn't want to eat her dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets.

Wynonna read her the note because she couldn't read yet. It simply said _I'm sorry._ Neither girl understood what it meant or why it had their dad sobbing on the floor. But, when their mother didn't tuck them in the night, give them their kiss on the nose, or whisper goodnight that night, or the night after, and the night after that, they began to understand.

What they didn't understand was why their dad stopped talking to them. Why he stopped hugging them. Why he stopped loving them.

Why he started to pretend that they didn't exist.

And what 8-year-old Waverly didn't understand was why Wynonna started started drinking when she started high school.

And it's not something she wanted to write about.

Wynonna nods her head, gathering herself, believing that her sister wouldn't do that, expose their family like that. Expose _her_ like that and bring up memories of the past that she'd fought so hard to forget, memories that she fought so hard to forgive herself in.

"I'm sorry," Waverly says, her voice filled with guilt.

"No, no, it's not your fault." Wynonna says as she squeezes the hand that lays on her right shoulder. "I just assumed, and I'm the one who's sorry," Wynonna says looking at her sister.

Waverly gives her a comforting smile and gives her hand a squeeze back.

"What would you write about then?" Doc asks, trying to steer the conversation in a different direction after giving his wife a worried look.

Waverly ponders her response for a second before honestly replying, "I don't know. But, what I _do_ know is that I want to share a real part of my life with my readers. But it's not something I plan on doing in the next few months. I'm going to take some time, read a lot of memoirs to get the feel for them, and I'll make my decision in a year or so."

Wynonna hums in response, the glaze over her eyes almost completely gone. "Well, you said that in your last book tour that young girls would ask how you how you got published at a young age, why don't you talk about that?"

Waverly scrunches up her nose at the idea. "I want to be more personal than that. I want to be raw and honest. My readers deserve it, if it weren't for them, I'd be nowhere," she admits. She smiles as she recalls meeting her fans during her last book tour and all of their kind words. She'd written down a few of the ones she remembered, and read them whenever she needed the extra motivation.

"Yeah," Wynonna agrees, clearly back to her happy self. "These 2 girls came up to me when you were touring in Montreal and they complimented my leather jacket!" Wynonna said excitedly. "Man, you have the best fans."

Waverly gives her a highly amused look. " _That's_ why I have the best fans? Because they complimented your jacket? It's not because 2 of my books, my only books by the way, hit the New York Times Bestseller list? Or not because the second book received a Michael L. Printz award?"

"Yup," Wynonna states, Doc laughing at her curt response. "But, back to the point. You'll figure out what to write about." After a second thought she adds, "What does Nicole say?"

A smile overtakes Waverly's face. "You know Nicole. She supports anything I do. Says that as long as what I write makes me happy, then I should write it."

Wynonna gags.

Nicole had been Waverly's #1 supporter, right next to Wynonna, ever since Waverly published her first book at the age of 18. She'd met Nicole when she was in the process of publishing it and Nicole had been so excited when she'd met a writer, especially one that she was sure was going to be big someday.

And she ended up being right.

Waverly's horror book, _Revenants_ , had been a massive hit across Canada and the U.S. then eventually across the world. She hit The New York Best Sellers List after the first week, selling 10,000 copies (which in turn gave her the opportunity to get reviews by Stephen King and James Patterson).

Nicole had called her when she saw her name on the list–she'd been checking everyday, truly believing in her, considering she herself fell in love with the novel–and squealed the same way Waverly had when she called Nicole after her graduation, when she saw Wavery's book on it.

Waverly blinks when Wynonna snaps her fingers in front of her face. "Excuse me, _sestra_ , do you ever stop thinking about your girlfriend?" Waverly laughs at the reference from their favorite T.V. show.

"How'd you know I was thinking about her?" Waverly questions.

"You get this look in your eyes, all lovey-dovey and gross," Wynonna says as she makes a face.

"Like the look you get when you look at Doc?" Waverly teases back with a smirk. Wynonna turns a light red and flips her the bird as Doc high fives the youngest Earp, his laughter ringing in the air.

Wynonna rolls her eyes and looks down at her phone when she sees that she's getting a call. Her eyebrows scrunch together in confusion when she sees who it is. Nicole.

"Excuse me," Wynonna says as she steps out onto her porch. Doc and Waverly didn't hear, they were back to talking about cars.

❧

The second she steps onto the grass, Wynonna picks up and angrily speaks,"Why are you calling me? I swear, Haught, if you're going to tell me to forgive because you can't come—"

"No!" Nicole cuts her off quickly. "But, I need to talk to you."

Wynonna pauses for what seems like an enternity. "I'm listening."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear there's more plot later... hope you enjoyed anyway!


	3. Rebel Without a Cause

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay if I get some of the New York scenery wrong and stuff I apologize to those of you who do live in New York LOL I've never been so I'm basing it off of Google maps, images, and my imagination.
> 
> Also Space Team makes an appearance (if you don't know what game that is, just bear with me) but anyway, I know you have to be connected to the same wifi to play but PRETEND YOU DON'T IN THIS STORY
> 
> Cool so now that that's out of the way, HAPPY READING :-)
> 
> P.S. Y'all are in for a ride.

_"Here's a harsh truth: You will be disappointed, you will be let down, and people you love will hurt you. There is no avoiding it, there is no magic spell that makes pain disappear. Trust is thrown away as easily as litter onto a sidewalk. Yes, our hearts will break but still, we must have hope. We are nothing without hope. Without hope we live for seemingly nothing. We don't fight, we don't try, we don't persevere. I would rather have my heart break a million times, then live for nothing. Your hand is on the light switch and you get to decide whether you flip it up, or keep it down. Let hope in and look at the world with wonder as it's filled not only with hatred, but with opportunities and love."_

_As a writer, I've always gravitated towards people who were eloquent, people who valued words, and used them wisely. I'm a sucker for someone who can express themselves through words, whether it be through speaking or writing, or both._

_I didn't know who the young woman who wrote those words was or what she was like, but I had turned into a block of iron and she was unknowingly holding a magnet that was drawing me closer. Which is why I didn't hesitate to talk to her._

_To Nicole._

_Even now, after all we've been through, after all_ she's _been through, people constantly ask me if it was worth it. The pain, the desperation, the sadness. I give them the same answer I gave Nicole one day when I say the hesitance in her eyes—we were happy and had sad moments, that's all. I wouldn't change a single detail of our story, and I know that she wouldn't either._

_We are who we are today because of our journey. And honestly?_ _I love us._

❧

**3.5 years ago**

Nicole Haught is curled up on a cushioned chair at the library, her knees tucked in as comfortably as they possibly can in the small place, finding a place under her chin. She's got a book in her hands, her favorite childhood story,  _The Giver_ , but her head is facing the large window beside her that gives her a nice view of Bryant Park. Her mind may not be in the book, but it's not on the people sitting on the tables that lay on the grass, or the trees—whose leaves rustle lightly in the almost nonexistent wind—either. Her eyes are partly wide, clearly indicating that she's not even on Earth, but a world of her own creation and imagination, a world where nothing bad could ever touch her.

In this world she walks into New York University, without nerves, her head held high and back straightened to the point where it's almost not natural looking, ready to face the first day of college. Her first day is 2 months away, but it's not something she could simply stop thinking about. The idea made her heart pump hard in her chest with nerves, but excitement just overpowering it enough to let her know that she could do it.

She's startled back to reality, the world where she could trip over nothing on the way to her first class, when her phone starts ringing. She was so deep in thought, she drops her book, losing the page she was on. She straightens her position, sitting in the chair the way it should be sat on as she hastily takes out her phone from the pocket of her pink jacket, momentarily forgetting the book on the floor.

"Hello?" She says as she picks up, realizing then that she hadn't bothered to check who it was.

"Honey?"

"Oh, hey gramms," Nicole responds, instantly recognizing her gradma's voice. "What's up?" She moves her free hand upward to run it through her hair, only to stop it when she remembers it's braided at the top.

"Are you on your way home yet?" Her grandma, Willow, asks.

Nicole picks up her book from the floor and begins her walk back to the children's section. "Yeah, why?" Nicole asks as she bites back a smile at the words she knows are going to come out of her grandmother's mouth (she truly was the greatest, most adorable human alive).

"You want to stop by Sammy's Noodle Shop? I'm too goddamn lazy to cook today."

There it is.

"Is that really why you want me to stop by grandma? Or is it because you want me to talk to Sunny?"

"She's a good girl, Nicky!" Willow explains. "Joan tells me she got accepted into Juilliard, did you know that?"

Nicole chuckles as she leaves the book in its respective spot. She couldn't stand when people threw in books wherever they pleased, especially after having gotten a few of her community service hours here and got to feel the joy of placing them back where they belonged.

"Yeah I know," Nicole answers. "She told me that when you sent me to Sammy's 2 days ago," she deadpans. "You know, sooner or later we're going to get sick of eating there," she adds as she walks out of the library.

She instantly feels the absence of the comfort that being surrounded by hundreds of book brought to her. She'd always been curious why one felt that way, a warmth and safety all from being in a room filled with books. Whatever the reason, she loved it. It made her feel less alone in the world.

"I'll eat there forever if it means you two stubborn assholes end up together," Willow answers.

Nicole lets out a snort at her grandma's crude mouth. "Sorry, gramms. Not gonna happen, how many times do I have to tell you that? _But_ , I'll stop by for some what? Fried rice and shrimp?"

She can practically hear her grandma's eye roll on the phone as she unchains her bike.

"Yeah, that's sounds good," Willow says with a puff. "Stay safe," she adds after a second thought before hanging up.

Nicole puts her phone back in her pocket with amusement before putting on her sunglasses and riding away from the library.

Her and Sunny had always been in the weird place of not necessarily friends, but more than acquaintances since they met in high school their sophomore year. Their grandma's happen to be in the same book club, and they had somehow found out that they granddaughters were friends that same year.

Ever since 2 months ago, when Sunny came out as pansexual, Joan, Sunny's grandma, and Willow had been trying to set them up (she herself had been out for 3 years now). At first, both young girls had shared red faces and embarrassed laughs at the thought of them dating, but it had turned into full on amusement.

Then, when Sunny got a job at Sammy's Noodles 2 weeks before graduation, her grandma had been sending her often as a way for her to get to know the girl. Needless, to say their grandmother's plans hadn't worked, nor would it.

15 minutes later, Nicole arrives to the grill, her hair sticking to her neck from the sweat. After chaining the bike to the rack outside of the restaurant, she makes her way in when she feel her phone vibrate. She takes it out as she stands in line, but not before meeting Sunny's eyes and giving her a quick smile, returning the amused look from afar after she removes her sunglasses.

She scrolls down the notications on her locked screen. There's about 10 new likes for the picture she uploaded on Instagram of the view from the library, and a couple of texts from her group chat, but she pauses when she sees a message from Tumblr from a girl she's never heard of.

 **WaverlyEarp** : Have you always looked at hope that way?

Nicole's initial thought is _what the hell is this girl talking about?_ until she remembers that now-embarassing post of hers about hope that had gotten quite popular after she wrote it last week. It already had about 5,000 notes, and she flushed a little whenever someone reblogged or liked it. It's not she disagreed with her own words, far from it, it's that she'd written them when she was in a pretty vulnerable state. And we all know, how those types of things go.

She'd just been so tired of feeling completely hopeless one night until she came to the realization that she actually _wasn't_ hopeless. Not at all.

 _Nice to meet you, too_ , Nicole types out sarcastically in response, after opening up the app. _This girl gets straight to it_ , she thinks. (2,500 miles away, Waverly Earp turns a light red from embarrassment, thankful that she's alone in her room.)

While she waits for a response from the stranger, she taps on the username which takes her to the girl's Tumblr, and the first thing she does is click the avatar of who she assumes to be _WaverlyEarp_ , all while unconsciously moving forward in the line as more people get served.

Unexpectedly, when the young woman's photo loads, her breath gets caught in her throat at the sight of her.

 _Holy fuck_ , she thinks. _How even?_

She gets so caught up with the picture of the brunette with light mascara on, a smile that makes her own lips turn up slightly, and jaw line that could kill her if given the chance, that she doesn't realize the front of the line has almost completely disappeared until a couple behind her clear their throats to catch her attention. She turns a light red and throws a quick apology behind her before making her way to the front of the line.

She gets another message.

 **WaverlyEarp** : Sorry, I grew up around "get straight to the point" lol, I'm Waverly

Nicole chuckles lightly at the relatable message (her grandma had the same attitude).

 **NicoleHaught** : Don't worry about it, I get that completely. I'm Nicole, and to answer your question, I haven't, not until recently

The young woman replies only seconds after she sends the message.

 **WaverlyEarp** : What changed your perspective? If you don't mind me asking...

 **NicoleHaught** : No, it's alright. It's always easier to speak to a stranger, right?

When the young woman doesn't reply as quickly, she decides to check out the rest of her Tumblr instead of staring creepily at her photo. The first few pictures are of girls kissing or holding hands, including Rose and Rosie's picture beside the _Girls_ _Girls_ _Girls_ sign. She even sees a picture of her at pride wearing a unicorn horn on her forehead along with a rainbow-like dress, and wings, and she makes up her mind right then and there that she's going to continue talking to this girl.

When Sunny yells out _next_ , she happens to scroll down to a picture of Waverly in a blue and white cheerleading uniform.

She chokes. Literally.

"Jesus, Nic, are you okay?" Sunny asks with a worried look when Nicole reaches her.

 _Stupid pretty girls, look what you do to me?_ She thinks quickly. _God, I need to get laid._ Nicole responds to Sunny by showing her the picture of Waverly, who's abs are the first thing anyone's eyes would go to.

"Holy fuck," Sunny says with wide eyes. "Who's that?"

"My future wife," Nicole jokes, getting her breath back.

"You wish, sweetheart," Sunny laughs that contagious laugh of hers.

Sunny was absolutely stunning in Nicole's opinion. She was only a few inches shorter than she was, her skin color gave her the perfect tanned look which complimented her light brown hair and random blue eyes. Her teeth were crooked in an adorable manner, and her smile could make anyone fall for her. Anyone, except Nicole apparently.

"Is she why you were stuck in line with an idiotic look on your face?" Sunny adds with a smirk.

Nicole turns bright red as she mumbles a weak, "Leave me alone."

Sunny giggles as she pulls out a box filled with food. "Here's your regular order," she says.

Nicole groans as she throws her head back. "My granmda called yours to let her know I was coming? And then she called you?" Nicole asks with false shock at their grandma's never-ending attempts.

"She told me to put on lipstick before you came in!" Sunny says with a dramatic, but appropriate eye roll. "When will they give up?" She asks rhetorically, with a laugh.

"According to my grandma, she'll eat here everyday until we're together," Nicole answers with a laugh of her own. "Well, thanks for the food," she says with a kind smile as she gives Sunny the appropriate change. "I'll see you," she ends with a wave.

Sunny gives her a wave back, and before Nicole gets back in her bike, she checks her messages again, happy to see that Waverly responded.

 **WaverlyEarp** : Haha, yeah, I guess it is.

 **NicoleHaught** : Well, let's just say that I've lost quite a lot of people in my life and I'd assumed that I'd lost all hope that anyone would ever really stick around. That I'd die alone, with no one to fight for or to support me, it just wasn't in fate's plan.

She sent it with hesitance. Maybe it was too deep? But her worries are eased when a reply comes in right away again.

 **WaverlyEarp** : And then you realized you were wrong...

 **WaverlyEarp** : Did you meet someone who changed your mind?

 **NicoleHaught** : No, I just realized that if I was as hopeless as I thought I was, I wouldn't continue to fight today… I would've given up a long time ago

Nicole locks her phone and puts the food she had in her hand in the basket that hangs in front of her bike. Before she's about to ride away, she looks at the notification on her locked screen.

 **WaverlyEarp** : Interesting…

 **WaverlyEarp** : I like you, Nicole Haught.

Nicole smiles at the message and giggles at the girls bluntness. _I like you too_ , _Waverly Earp_.

❧

**Present**

Waverly stares at Wynonna as she walks back into the house after taking a phone call, and she notices that her older sister has a weird, pensive look on her face.

"Who was that?" Waverly asks with suspicion as she leans her head against Doc's arm.

"Huh?" Wynonna snaps her head up at her. "Oh, no one, just some guy trying to sell me something," she lies with a shrug.

Waverly looks her in the eyes and narrows her eyes, unbelieving, but she decides to let it go. She turns to look up at Doc who's wearing a look she doesn't recognize, so she looks back at Wynonna who gives Doc a small, curt nod that was almost nonexistent.

"Hey!" Waverly whines, "You guys can't do that eye-talking thing couples can do, it's unfair!"

Wynonna snorts and lies down on the long couch with Doc and Waverly, her head on Doc's lap and legs on Waverly, who'd moved to the other end of the couch, so her sister could sit.

"Hey, Doc. Do you need any help at the bar tonight?" Waverly asks turning to look at her brother-in-law, her arms hanging over Wynonna's legs.

A few times a month, when Waverly wanted to make the extra money or she just wanted to keep her hands busy and not write for a while, she'd work (under-the-table) for Doc and give Rosita, the regular bartender, the night off. She liked it enough, got to meet a few interesting people. Though, she had no idea how Rosita managed almost every night. Sometimes, the customers would become rude, or violent, or even too handsy.

"No I don't, but I'm bettin' Rosita would appreciate a night off," Doc replies.

"Sounds like a plan, then. I'll head over there," Waverly says as she gets up, pushing her sister's legs off of her earning her an _asshole_ from Wynonna. "You guys going later tonight?"

Doc looks over at Wynonna for an answer who just shrugs in response. "We'll see you in about an hour," he says.

Waverly throws her bag over her shoulders and dismisses herself before heading to her jeep and making the short drive to Shorty's.

"Hey, Rosie!" Waverly greets with her famous smile and wave as she enters the bar.

"Hi, cutie!" Rosita greets back. She pats the bar with her hand, inviting Waverly to sit, and asks, "What can I get you today?"

"Nothing, came in to substitute."

Rosita, who's giving 2 men their beers, snaps her head around to face the Earp. "Really? Yes!" She exclaims. "I really did _not_ want to work tonight. How is it you always come in at the right time?"

Waverly shrugs. "I'm just amazing like that, what can I say?"

"Damn straight," Rosita says as Waverly walks into the square-shaped bar.

"Or maybe you just never want to work?" Waverly throws in with an eyebrow raise.

Rosita shushes her.

"So, where you gonna go?" Waverly asks as she takes the rag from Rosita and starts wiping off the beer she spilled from the bar. Rosita gives her a grateful look.

Rosita was also a part of their little misfit family, although she was the newest member. She too had had a rough past, although no one knew what. Just that something had happened to her when she was younger and that she wasn't ready to open up yet. But, despite whatever had occurred to the woman, she still had a big heart, and cared for everyone around her in her own way.

"Hmm," Rosita thinks. "I'm gonna go bother Jer," she says with an evil smile.

Waverly rolls her eyes lightheartedly and lets out a soft laugh. "Why do you like bothering him so much?"

"It's fun," she says with a shrug. "You know how he gets, all squirmy and awkward," she giggles.

"Yeah, it is fun isn't it?" Waverly says, with a small, teasing smile.

Rosita chuckles, gives her a quick peck on the cheek, and thanks her again before practically runnnig out of the place. Waverly shakes her head and laughs softly at the woman's eagerness before serving beer to some obvious tourists.

A few people go up to greet Waverly, but it seems that all the talking and serving she's doing is being run by someone else. She's basically on autopilot for her mind is on her sister and what had happened at her house.

Wynonna had changed dramatically through the years, for the better of course. But, like everyone else she had her flaws and insecurities, and it led Waverly to think back to the conversation about the baby. Waverly could clearly see that Wynonna would love to have a child of her own to love and care for, but there was also hesitance. Waverly has assumed it was just because it would be a big and much different responsibility. But, from what she heard from Wynonna earlier, in reality, she's terrified of messing up.

She's afraid of not treating her child the way they should be treated, afraid of not loving them enough, afraid of leaving. She was afraid of becoming their parents. She didn't want that for her child and that's why she was holding back.

Waverly made a mental note talk about that with Wynonna later in the week.

"Hey, Waverly," someone says an hour later.

Waverly tries her hardest to contain her eye roll when the sound of her ex-boyfriend's voice meets her ears, but she can't help it. It's like when you recognize that a guy is mansplaining and all you want to do is punch that guy in the face, that's how she feels when Champ opens his mouth.

"Hey, Champ," she says flatly, not even bothering to face him. She hands over 2 beers to a couple with a genuine smile, hoping that when she turns back around, Champ will have walked away.

He hasn't.

"What do you say we go to the stock room and mess around a little, ha? Just like we used to?" He says with that cocky smirk of his, the one that says _you can't say no to the hottest guy in Purgatory._

"Fucking Chist," she mutters under her breath with a shake of her head. She couldn't believe she dedicated 4 years of her life with this dumbass. She turns around to face him. "Champ," she begins, no tone of kindness in her voice, "we dated 3 years ago, when will it get through that thick skull of yours, that we're done? As in, I don't even want to sleep with you for nastolgic reasons."

"C'mon, Waves!" He whines. She flinches as the use of her nickname from the mouth that spewed out words that had always managed to break her heart. "Put that hot body of yours to use. Shit, I'll pay you, if you want. That way you don't have to work in this shithole," he says with a gesture around the bar.

Waverly's eyes widen in shock. " _Excuse me_?" She spits out. Waverly's practically shaking in anger. "My body isn't a fucking object meant for your own entertainment, you misogynistic pig. I don't exist to please you," she lets out with venom dripping out of her mouth. She keeps her voice low, though, not wanting to attract any unwanted attention.

To her complete surprise, Champ look genuinely regretful of his words. And he gives her that look. The look that always had her running back into his arms after committing another mistake. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that, I promise you. I don't know what came over me," he says softly, his face close to hers from across the bar. "I'm really sorry."

Waverly just glares at him. "Besides," she continues. "I'm seeing someone."

That stops Champs movements. "What?"

"I have a girlfriend, Champ," Waverly repeats carelessly. She could detect jealousy in his voice, and it reminded her that he no longer had any power over her. That she had control; she was the one to dump him after all.

When she realized and saw what the rest of the town saw, that Champ was a lying bastard, to put it bluntly, she broke up with him the day after they graduated. She didn't realize how held back and imprisoned she felt until the words _we're_ _done_ came out of her mouth.

It broke Champ, that much she could clearly see. But, she didn't understand it. If he cared about her so much, why did he cheat and treat her like crap? But still, he loved her, in his own sick way.

And honestly? She couldn't give a rat's ass. He didn't deserve one ounce of kindness from her.

"What do you mean? I haven't seen you around with anyone," he argues back.

"Well, not that it's any of your business, but she lives in New York. It's a long-distance thing." She regrets saying the words immediately when she see's a spark of happiness, cockiness, and enlightment in Champ's eyes. She already knows what's going to come out of his mouth.

"Well, then I still don't see what the problem is!" He says excitedly. "She's not here. She doesn't have to know a thing," he shrugs indifferently. Waverly tightens her jaw, the anger coming back ten-fold, as her hand curls into a fist before getting closer to his face, their noses almost touching.

"The problem is, Champ," she says as she pokes his chest hard across the bar, "that I'm not a narcisstic, cheating shit-ticket who treats their girlfriends like trash, like _you_."

"The relationship won't even last," he argues back with a red face, taking the chance to unmake a fool out of himself. "They never work. It'll get too hard, she'll realize you're not worth it, and she'll get bored of you." He smirks before saying, "Just like I did."

She laughs bitterly before spewing out, "You were trying to hook up a minute ago, dumbass. You're obviously not bored of me, and something tells me you never will be. So, I hope you feel one of the worst pains when she comes down and visits me and you see her arm around me and not yours—heartbrea." She picks up the shotgun under the bar, just to look more intimidating, and harshly says, "Now get the fuck out of my bar."

Champ looks at her, breathing hard, and red-face from the anger, ready to say more, when he realizes that the bar is completely silent and everyone's staring at them with wide eyes. Their voices had progressively gotten louder and they'd unknowingly put on a show.

Champ takes a look around him and slams down his beer on the edge of the bar, most of it landing on Waverly's shirt, before making his way out of Shorty's.

Waverly feels familiar hands on her shoulders and barely registers the, "Let's go baby girl." She doesn't hear when Doc yells for everyone to go back to minding their own goddamn business, and that the next round's on the house. She doesn't feel Wynonna's leather jacket thrown over her shoulders to hide her wet, see-through shirt.

It's not until her and Wynonna walk out of the bar and she feels like air hit her face that she turns into Wynonna's chest, her arms going around her sister's waist, that she lets out what she'd been holding in. Sobs that have her gasping her air wrack her entire body.

However, they're not just from what happened with Champ, but from everything she'd been feeling from dating Nicole.

Champ's words to her, about him getting bored of her or how she was "worthless", meant nothing to her; they didn't hurt her. They went in through one ear and out through the other.

What struck a cord was when he spoke out loud the thoughts that ran through her mind a few times over the past 5 months—that there was a possibility that Nicole could end the relationship, not thinking her to be enough to fight for. She let out the cries from missing the one person she'd never met, the cries of how desperately she wanted to hold her girlfriend in this moment, the cries of insecurity of not being worth the wait. That she'd end up being a disappointment, just like she had been for her mom, like she'd been for her dad. The people who were supposed to love her unconditionally, they'd always leave, disappear into nothingness.

"Shh, baby girl. It's okay, you're okay. You and Nicole... you're both okay," Wynonna repeats as she runs her hands down her hair. She kisses the top of Waverly's head as her sobs calm down. "You're alright, babe. Lets get you home."

Waverly nods as she separates herself from her sister and with Wynonna's arm around her, she leads them to her jeep. The eldest Earp drives them to Waverly's home and minutes later they're both seated on the sofa. Waverly's head is on Wynonna's lap, her hands running through Waverly's hair in the way she'd always done to comfort her little sister. When their father was having a fit and she was actually around, when thunder roared and lightening lit up the sky, when she felt like there were monsters in her closet, Wynonna was there to comfort her with the familiar action.

The silence that lay over them was broken by Wynonna softly saying, "Do you want to talk about what happened back there?"

That's all it takes for Waverly to start crying again, although not as hard as the first time, and to start talking. She tells Wynonna everything that she feels about Nicole, about their parents, and by the end of it, Wynonna can no longer contain the tears of her own.

"You need to talk Nicole, Waves. You need to tell her how you feel. Tonight, if you can, okay? Because the longer you hold onto pain, the more it hurts."

Waverly's eyes are still filled with tears, but she doesn't let them escape, as she breathes out a sad sigh. "I know. I will…just stay with me for a couple more minutes, yeah?" She asks as she sits up and lies her head on her sister's arm instead.

"For as long as you want, baby girl," Wynonna reassures, giving her sister's shoulder a squeeze.

❧

10 minutes later, Waverly's in her t-shirt and underwear, in between her blanket, as she waits for Nicole to answer her call. It's midnight in New York, so she's hoping the redhead is still awake. She waits for a few seconds, and just as she's about to hang up, Nicole's face appears on the screen of her laptop.

"Hey, baby, wha--" Nicole stops herself immediately when she takes in the look on Waverly's face. Her eyes are red, puffy, a look that shouts _someone hurt me._

Tears have pooled together once again in Waverly's eyes by looking at her girlfriend.

"Baby, what's wrong?" Nicole gasps, her face getting closer to the screen to provide a false closeness, as if it'll help.

"Nicole, am I worth it?" Waverly asks straight off the bat with genuine curiousity, like a 4-year-old asking their mom where babies come from, as she tilts her head.

"What?" Nicole asks softly, taken aback, with clear confusion written all over her face. "What do you mean?"

Waverly avoids eye contact with Nicole, instead looking over her right shoulder, her eyes landing on the vintage movie poster of _Rebel Without a Cause_ she'd seen a million times when Nicole talked to her from her couch. It always reminded her of the name she'd always wanted to give her future dog—Plato, not after the philosopher, but after John 'Plato' Crawford, the character from the movie. It was her favorite after all, a coincidence considering it was Nicole's favorite movie, too.

She guessed she knows why she loved Plato so much, the character, not the name. She could relate to him on a deep, personal level. The way he looked to James Dean and Natalie Wood, well Jim Stark and Judy, his high school friends, as fatherly and motherly figures because his own parents had neglected him. She'd done the same for a while, any adult that would even talk to her, she'd find a way to make a parental figure out of them, desperately looking for that specific connection. She never found it of course. Sure with her aunt Gus and and uncle Curtis when they took her and Wynonna in after the—the incident, but they left too.

Well, maybe not left, more like taken away in the arms of death.

But that only lasted 2 years. Not much time, of course. Her and Wynonna never got much time.

"Waverly?" She hears from a tentative voice that breaks her trance. "Talk to me, love," Nicole says in a warm tone, "I'm here."

 _No you're not_ , Waverly thinks. But, she rids her mind of the thought as quickly as it came.

"Sorry," Waverly says with a small smile, which is really only the ends of her lips turning up as slightly as the big hand of the clock moves to the next second. She clears her throat and runs a hand over her wet eyes before speaking.

"You and I, we've been together for 5 months now, and it's hard, right? Admittedly," she begins truthfully.

At these words, Nicole takes in a sharp intake of a breath and Waverly's eyes widen before scrambling out the words, "No, it's not what it sounds like, I'm not breaking up with you, just listen, okay?"

Nicole's eyes lose the fear, and only nods her head in repsonse, ignoring the beginnings of the heartbreak she thought she would feel.

"It's hard for me, and I know we don't talk about it, but I know it's hard for you too sometimes. But, on the days when I feel extra insecure, I can't help but ask myself if you think I'm worth it. If I'm worth waiting for just one more day, and then a day after that, and so on. And then I think, what if I am... but then I turn out to be some huge disappointment?" Her voice cracks on the last word.

"So am I? Am I worth fighting for, waiting for?" A tear runs down her face, and her heart aches. She's not sure she wants to hear the answer.

Nicole can easily see the insecurity in Waverly's eyes, and she can feel her heart constricting. She reaches out her hand, but stops herself as she realizes she can't touch and comfort her girlfriend the way she wants to.

"It's hard Waverly, yes," Nicole begins honestly. "I won't lie, but I promise you with _all of my being_ that you are worth the wait, you are worth the fight. I would crawl though hell and back if it meant just being able to look into those big brown, gorgeous eyes of yours. It's because of who you are that I haven't quit, baby. I can't and I won't. You have a beautiful soul and mind, and don't you _ever_ think that you could be a disappointment, when even just these last 5 months of being with you has filled me with enough happiness to last me a lifetime."

Waverly lets out a sob, tears running down her face more freely now, both of sadness and happiness, if it's even possible. "You promise?"

"I promise," Nicole says with as much conviction as she can possibly muster, tears running down her own face. "Let's make a deal," she speaks suddenly.

"What?" Waverly asks with curiousity as she wipes her tears away and sniffles.

Nicole clears her throat and blushes a little. "Well, uhh, sometimes I kind of um.. cry, on umm, the nights w-when I wish you were here because it hurts, you know?" She says with some embarrassment.

Waverly obviously knew she probably did because she herself did it. But, hearing it out loud, it broke her heart in two. She nods, "I know, love."

"Those nights, they suck. _God_ they suck," she mumbles that second part more to herself. "But, whenever we feel doubt creeping up or insecurity or anything, instead of crying into our pillows all alone," she pauses to chuckle at herself, "we should just call each other instead, yeah? Anytime it happens. We don't even have to talk, we can just be there together and breathe and just remember why we're doing all of this in the first place." She pauses for another second before saying, "How does that sound?" She looks at Waverly, but her eyes are settled on the bed frame behind the brunette.

"I think it sounds like an amazing idea, pretty girl," Waverly finally smiles, her cries gone, but face still puffy. "Thank you, Nicole."

"For what?" Nicole asks as her eyebrows scrunch together.

"For saying those things. You have no idea what they mean to me, it's makes my heart all tingly," she laughs. "For being honest, and open with me. It's good, it's... different."

"Anytime, baby."

Nicole gives her a smile that makes thousands of butterflies erupt in her stomach. _This woman drives me crazy_. Her phone seems to freeze at the moment, considering Nicole's talking, but she's not moving and she takes it as a sign from the Universe to capture this moment and remember that Nicole doesn't smile at anyone else like that. She secretly takes a screenshot.

"Now," Nicole says in a softer tone, "will you tell me where all of this is coming from?"

Waverly recalls everything that happened with Champ, not excluding any details and there's a fire in Nicole's eyes when she's finished with the story. If she could see her hands, she'd realized that they were curled into a fist, ready to punch the bastard that made her girlfriend cry.

"The first thing I'm doing when I get to purgatory is kicking his ass," she says in anger.

"Uhh, no," Waverly declines quickly. "The first you're going to do when you get here is hold me and kiss me, got it?" She asks with eyes that say _You don't have another choice_.

Nicole's fire is calmed a bit at Waverly's words. "I got it, babe," she agrees with a laugh.

Waverly gives her a grin and and curt nod. "Good. And Nicky?"

"Yes?"

"I know that being away from you can really hurt sometimes, but I don't want you to think that being with you only makes me sad, okay? You make me so goddamn happy despite how far you are. I know what's going on in that big brain of yours, I can see it in your eyes.

You're hesitant now, about the relationship. You're thinking that maybe you're hurting me unknowingly and it's hurting you. I'm happy and I have sad moments, it's not the other way around. And that joy you bring me is unlike any other joy I've ever felt. Don't forget that, okay?"

The hesitance that Waverly spotted in Nicole's eyes, melted away at her words, and Waverly was glad because she truly believed it would take more convincing. It warmed her chest knowing that Nicole trusted and believed her that way.

"I won't forget that, thank you Waves. I don't know how you do it, but it was exactly what I needed to hear."

Waverly gave her a gracious smile and was about to casually say the 3 words that were not supposed to be spoken so casually. Not yet, at least.

"You're too young to be in love," Wynonna had told her one day. She then concluded that 21-year-olds should be out having sex with men, men _or women,_ she had corrected, and having fun. Waverly had been genuinely confused because she thought she _was_ having fun. She'd just shrugged in response to her sister's comments and had proceeded to converse with her girlfriend.

But, Wynonna was messing with Waverly. In reality, Wynonna loved Nicole. She'd met her through FaceTime a few months after the women had met, after Wynonna had insisted considering Nicole was all Waverly'd talk about.

She automatically knew she would be good for her baby sister when she saw the warmth in Nicole's eyes when she talked to Waverly. She instantly knew that one day they'd end up together, even if they didn't know it yet, and obviously she was right. She'd even been the one to come up with the shipname—WayHaught, when they started dating. The couple had rolled their eyes when they heard it, but they both secretly loved it. Just like Wynonna loves Nicole. But, she would never admit that out loud (even if they were good friends).

She chokes back the words, although it doesn't matter much. Her and Nicole both knew exactly how they felt, it's just that the words hadn't been said. They had a silent agreement that they would be spoken for the first time in person. Not out of the blue, of course. They'd do it at the right moment, but in person.

Even though she wanted to burst right now, she could wait.

Instead, the young couple talks for a few more minutes about topics that should be irrelevant, but not to each other, and when they bid each other goodnight, Waverly is eternally grateful for Wynonna advising her to talk with her girlfriend. She hadn't realized how many different emotions she was bottling up inside. Sure, she'd cried a few nights, but she'd ignored the anger and doubt that crept around in her mind.

But, Nicole has reassured her. She'd eased her doubts and she believed her.

Waverly had hope. Hope that they could survive another 11 days. That a little over a week was nothing compared to the past 5 months. Just a little while longer and she would be meeting the love of her life.

❧

**Waverly** : Babe, look at this ice cream that I'm having and you're not [Image]

 **Nicole** : WOW thanks for rubbing it in my face, asshole

 **Nicole** : Baby* stupid autocorrect

 **Waverly** : Don't worry, dickhead, I'll buy you some when you get here

 **Waverly** : Pretty girl* Damn, I think my phones acting stupid too, I guess

 **Nicole** : ha ha

 **Nicole** : Listen to this song, it reminds me of you

Song: Big Jet Plane - Angus & Julia Stone ►

 **Waverly** : God, you're such a cheesy romantic

 **Nicole** : You love it

 **Waverly** : More than anything

❧

"Asteroid, everybody shake!" Waverly yells urgently as she starts shaking her phone up and down quickly as they play Space Team.

"Black hole, rotate!" Nicole yells from Waverly's laptop screen, a split second after Waverly's announcement. "Alex rotate!" She tells her friend, her former roommate from the academy, with an urgency as she takes matters into her own hands and grabs her phone with her other hand to rotate it.

"Oh shit. Both?" Alex asks with wide eyes as she allows Nicole to take her phone.

"Yes!" Wynonna yells back, shaking her own phone, now turned upside down. Once the screen turns green and the hand apppears with the words _SAFE_ underneath it, she says, "Okay, someone yell things!"

"Maintain professionalism!" Jeremy pitches in from in between Wynonna and Waverly.

"Turn off the foldflute!" Alex yells at the same time, creating more chaos in the game. "TURN OFF THE FOLDFLUTE!" She repeats when the instruction on her phone hasn't changed. She looks over to Nicole's phone, taking over this time and tapping the button necessary.

Nicole looks over at her sheepishly, "Sorry," she says with a laugh. "I didn't know I had it."

"Set Aurul Dust to 4, set Aurul–oh balls, that's me!" Waverly says as she attempts to turn the dial on her screen, amongst 3 other buttons, and a switch.

"Fuck, why is my screen going whacky?" Wynonna asks. "Who's fucking us over?" She says as she glares at her phone considering she can't look up and glare at anyone else in fear of losing.

"There's green goo all over mine!" Nicole screams in between everyone else's screams, her heart beating fast from the quickness of the game.

"C'mon you idiots," Wynonna yells, "Somone turn on the goddamn darklatch! Hurry or we'll... lose," Wynonna trails off when the disgustingly familiar red flashed appear on her screen.

"And we lost," Nicole deadpans.

"Sector 8," Alex says as she run a hand through her black, curly hair, exposing her new tattoo which says _9.3.13—_ the date her dad was shot and killed by a police officer for absolutely no reason. Everyone in her family found it ironic that she was becoming a cop, but she felt that it was her duty to inspire upon others that simply because she was a black woman that she wasn't a criminal. She got tattoo to remember why she became a cop in the first place. "Not bad," she shrugs.

" _Not bad_? We didn't even make it to double digits," Jeremy scoffs with disappointment.

"Yeah, at this rate, we'll never it make it past our high score, guys," Waverly pouts, talking about their high score of getting through 15 sectors. (Nicole wants to kiss it away.)

Instead, she just lets out a giggle at how adorable her girlfriend looks.

"Right, well, Alex and I are starving so, we're gonna go," Nicole states. "Bye jer, Wynonna, my best baby," Nicole winks.

"Bye guys!" Alex jumps in with a wave.

The gang dismiss themselves, Waverly blows Nicole a kiss, and hangs up. Ever since their talk, everything felt so much lighter, like a weight had been lifted off of her shoulders. And even though she didn't think she could be happier, she was, and frankly it felt amazing. She was basking in every second of it.

"You nerds up for another game?" Wynonna asks. Waverly's happiness only grows.

❧

2 days later Waverly's rudely awaken by a loud noise that she's still too asleep to comprehend. She groans and lifts her head from her pillow, but her body still in place. She glances out the window only to see that the sky is still dark, but there's just enough light to know that it's really early in the morning. She's so goddamn tired and all she's thinking is that if there's an intruder in the house, they couldn't have waited until the sun was up?

It's not until she hears glass breaking—which at this still, early hour, sounds like 5 rocks going through a large glass door–that that she sits up, heart suddenly pounding with fear in her chest as her breath quickens. (She's fully awake to know what the loud noise was—her front door slamming with a close.) She hears the intruder whisper something incomprehensible to themselves, but just barely, that she still can't make out if they're male or female.

She assumes that said intruder is probably searching for Peacemaker, when the light in her kitchen goes on. _What the fuck kind of robber turns on the light_? She thinks.

As much as she'd love to hide under her covers, she doesn't know if the robber is armed or dangerous, so she gets up instead, grabbing the shotgun she keeps under bed. Calling 911 doesn't even cross her mind.

She's in a beige tank top and underwear as she walks across her room with the gun held up, ready to shoot anything that moves, as she avoids the floorboards that she knows would creak or squeak.

She turns to the right from her short hallway, and walks to the kitchen slowly, taking shallow breaths, so that they're not heard. She peeks her head around the around the wall only to see that the intruder is no longer there. _Fuck_ , she whispers out, terried. _Where the hell did you go?_ She thinks, not risking making any more noise.

She walks in slowly, only to see the culprit of the noise on the floor—a glass cup.

She's about to turn around to take a look around the rest of her home when she notices the door to her walk-in pantry is slightly ajar. She wipes her sweaty palms on her shirt before walking to it, making sure to not step on any of the broken glass. _Why would I keep Peacemaker in a pantry?_ She think incredulously.

Taking a deep breath, she opens the pantry door wide open.

"DON'T MOVE, YOU FU— _Wynonna_?" Waverly asks with wide eyes, clear shock in her voice.

The intruder, now known as Wynonna, is in the corner of the pantry with a broom in hand. She flashes her sister a full dimpled smile. "Hey, baby girl!" She exclaims casually.

"What the _fuck_ are you doing here?" Waverly groans with anger she can't help. She was annoyed and tired, and she just wanted to go back to sleep. She'd felt enough fear to last her a lifetime at such an early hour.

"Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed," Wynonna mumbles. "Will you put that gun down. Jesus, you're making me nervous."

It's then that Waverly remembers that she's still aiming the shotgun at her sister, who's trying to get across her. She turns around to face her sister who's sweeping up the glass in the kitchen. _I shouldn't have given her a key_ , Waverly thinks as exhaustion settles in again.

"Nonna!" Waverly yells, increasingly annoyed by her older sister. "What are you doing here?" She repeats. She quickly glances over to the clock on the wall. "It's 5:30!"

Wynona's eyes go comically wide and she throws the broom down to the floor when she registers the time, "Shit! I got distracted by the glass, I came over because you have to get ready. Now," she says hastily.

"What? Why?" Where do we need to be?" Waverly groans. "Since when do you wake up this early anyway? You even arrived 5 minutes late to your own wedding!"

Wynonna ignores her comment. "Not we, _you_."

"What do you mean me? Be more specific, I'm barely awake to deal with your mysteries."

"You need head to the airport," Wynonna states.

"Why the hell am I going to the airport?" Waverly asks, confusion written all over face, as she leans against the countertop.

"Geez, Waves!" Wynonna rolls her eyes at her "intelligent" sister. "Why else would you go to the airport?"

Waverly stops and suddenly she's fully awake. "Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

Wynonna smiles at her widely, "She made me promise not to tell you until today."

"But we agreed we wouldn't meet until next week" She says more so to herself in astonishment. "When? What time?" She asks excitedly, her tone raising pitch, looking at Wynonna with a smile that could light up the darkness outside.

Wynonna laughs at her excitement. "She wanted to surprise you, dumbass! Now go, you need to leave in," she looks at the clock briefly, "Shit! In 25 minutes. Go get ready, hurry if you want to be there on time!" Wynonna says as she pushes Waverly out of the kitchen, making sure to lead her around the glass because she think Waverly's too thrilled to even notice it.

"Wait, if you came over to wake me, why were you in my kitchen?" Waverly asks as she walks back to her room.

"I wanted to wake you by pouring water in your face, but then I dropped the glass," Wynonna says as she resumes her sweeping.

"Fucking Wynonna," Waverly says with a shake of her head, but lets out a laugh anyway because they'd done that to each other so many times. Plus, she was just so fucking happy, she had to let it out in some way. It's not until she steps into her bathroom for a quick shower that she lets the fact sink in.

_I'm meeting my girlfriend today._

An hour later, Waverly's standing completely still, her eyes glued to the front of the gate Nicole's going to walk in through, but her heart's threatening to burst out of her rib cage, and her hands are lightly shaking.

Minutes later, people are walking out of the gate while her eyes search through the crowd obsessively, and the nerves and excitement intensify when she finally spots a flash of red hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for all the sadness but next chapter will be 100% fluff, and I'm livin'
> 
> Hope you enjoyed the chapter though!
> 
> I love meeting new people and making friends (especially cause I need more Earper friends) so if anyone wants to talk, I'm Mystificationn on tumblr :-)


	4. Moonrise Kingdom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay it's 2 in the morning and I'm really tired, so if you see any mistakes I apologize. (In this state it took me 4 tries to write apologize. But, I really wanted to get this done for you so fuck sleep
> 
> Happy reading :-)

_ I remember her hospital tunic was an off-white, the type of white that was used to not blind a person—though it made no difference which white was used for the room itself was of the color and bright enough to make me squint when I entered. All of it, white! The bed, the floor, the walls, the machine that mocked me with it’s steady, incessant  _ beep, beep, beep _ —which to me sounded more like _ ha ha ha _ —which told me that Nicole was still alive. The problem was that the image of different shaped mountains, my favorite type of view, could easily turn into a plain, flat valley in the blink of an eye. _

_ I hated all of it, if I'm being honest. But, it was the white that infuriated me the most. The color dampened my sorrowful mood. _

_ It was all too  _ happy _ for me. And I didn't  _ want _ to be happy. Seeing Nicole lying there, unmoving, blissfully unaware…there was nothing to be happy about. It was unfair that her life was on pause, and everyone else's continued to play on, as blissfully unaware as Nicole. _

_ The room should've been dark, the lights off, the floor pitch black. Because that's what I felt. _

_I felt like the floor was a black hole, the darkness unlike any other, a force more intense than anything. Yet, I was hanging on just above it, my hands magically grasping onto the scorching plasma of a nearby star, goading me to give up, to let go, and I refused. But I knew that if the scenic view of the mountains turned into the valley, then I'd be forced to let go.  _

_ That is until I remembered the day I met Nicole and the undeniable safety I felt from being in her arms.  _

_ I knew then, that even among death, that she'd float up beside me, next to the star, and hold out a hand to support me, to keep me steady because no matter what, Nicole would always keep me safe. _ 

 

 

❧

_ Red hair. _

_Nicole has red hair.  _

Those are Waverly's first thoughts before Nicole's face makes its way into her vision, and her almost-bursting heart stops instead, for a split second, before it's beating comes back tenfold.

But Nicole hasn't spotted her yet. Her head is moving to the right, then left, then right again. Her eyes searching the crowd before her frantically like Waverly's only seconds ago. And Waverly is right in front of her, well sight-wise, completely still, still. 

And the next thing Waverly knows is that as the crowd begins to move away towards different directions, and Nicole's eyes finally meets hers.

It's like the people around her and the luggage they drag, and the kids crying because they're too afraid to go on a plane all fade into nothing. Everything has gone pitch black and Nicole is the only light in the world. She smiles at her, the smile a magic the world should never know. Waverly blinks and all the lights turn back on.

And she runs.

Boy, does she _run_.

Nicole drops the jacket she holds in her arm to the ground along with her bag and opens her arms wide when she gets near her, and Waverly slams into Nicole's body making her stumble back a few steps. Waverly's arms instantly go around Nicole's neck, hugging her tighter than she's ever hugged anyone before. Nicole's arms wrap around her waist and Waverly's sure that she's never felt so safe in an embrace before. It feels like a bullet could bounce off of her, like an earthquake's force wouldn't knock her down, like darkness would never touch her again.

Waverly digs her face into Nicole's neck and a few tears tears fall into the space between her neck and shoulder. Not only was she meeting who she is sure is the love of her life, but her best friend of 2 years, and meeting that person can bring out a few tears in someone.

Nicole picks her up and spins her around and Waverly squeals into her neck because she couldn't contain her joy any longer. They laugh, and it's pure, and relieving, and nervous.

"Oh my God," Waverly whispers as Nicole puts her down, and instead takes her face into her warm and gentle hands.

They stand there, taking each other in, with wide, idiotic smiles. Waverly studies her face, searching for the details she could never see through a screen. She tries to memorize her as if she were to vanish into thin air at any second. Her brown eyes with specks of green, the mole under her left eye, her hair that looked much brighter and red in person.

The woman she's been dating for 6 months was standing in front of her and she felt a warmth take over her entire body, stretching from her chest to the tips of her toes, and a sudden and desperate longing to hold Nicole. And she could do that now.

So, she did.

Waverly stood on her toes and threw her arms around Nicole's neck again, just for a few more moments, before ripping herself apart. But, she kept her arms around her neck, not wanting to completely let go yet.

Nicole gives her a joyful look, "Why are you crying?" She laughs at who knows what.

Waverly lets out a watery laugh along with her. "Why am I crying? Why are you crying?" She teases. She unwraps her arms from Nicole's neck and grabs her face, and with the pad of her thumbs she wipes away the tears that managed to escape her eyes.

"Because I didn't think it was humanly possible to feel this much joy," Nicole admits.

Waverly grins and nods in response as her hands hold Nicole's jaw. "You're here," she sighs out.

"I'm here," Nicole says softly. She raises her hand and she moves a strand of hair behind Waverly's ear. Waverly's heart picks up speed at the action. Such a simple thing, but it's means the world to her now.

"And you're real," she says as she meets Nicole's eyes, drowning in a sea of chocolate.

"And I'm real," Nicole whispers. She pulls Waverly to her again, this time her own arms around Waverly's neck as Waverly's wrap around her waist. "I don't think I can stop hugging you," she chuckles.

"It's okay, I'm not asking you to."

Nicole's smile grows impossibly wider as she lays her chin on her head and Waverly. She's buried in Nicole and she can't help but think that the wait was worth it. 

"You're really short," Nicole suddenly says.

Waverly pulls apart to look at Nicole, "Hey! I told you how tall I was!" Waverly pouts.

"I know, but it's so cute in person."

_In person_.  

Those words run through Waverly's mind and the ecstasy she's always felt when talking to Nicole has increased to a level Waverly had not deemed possible, and she swears that at any second she'll explode into colorful confetti.

"You're gorgeous, Nicole," Waverly blurts out.

The comment catches Nicole off guard and her cheeks tint with red. She looks down and throws the hair that's fallen in front of her face behind her ear. Waverly grins.

"Come on, pretty girl. Let's go," she grabs Nicole's hand and intertwines their fingers before picking up her bag like the gentlewoman she was. Her and Nicole look at their hands and then at each other with loving looks.

They were a bunch of saps.

"Long distance really puts things in perspective, ha?" Nicole asks as they begin to walk out. 

After Waverly leads them to her Jeep, she opens the car door for Nicole, who thanks her kindly with a smile on her face, before throwing the bag in the back.

When Waverly sits down in the passenger seat, their hands automatically intertwine once again.

Waverly lets out a happy sigh and looks over at Nicole, glad that now they're alone, without the noise of a million people talking over each other and speakers announcing that flights were leaving soon.

Nicole brings her hand up to her lips and kisses her knuckles. Both women revel in the feeling of euphoria, even enjoying the nervousness that has their hearts pounding and butterflies flying in their stomachs.

They're looking at other with a look that strangers would become envious of. There would be no mistaking that these 2 young women were hopelessly in love.

"Waverly?" Nicole asks softly, not wanting to break their little bubble.

"Yes, pretty girl?" Waverly responds. Nicole's heart speeds up at the term of endearment. It was her favorite.

"I want to kiss you," Nicole admits unashamedly.

Waverly takes in a deep breath, her chest heavy with wonderful feelings. She leans forward, her lips millimeters from Nicole's, "Then, kiss me." The desperation and want is as clear in her voice as it is in Nicole's eyes.

It wasn't the most romantic setting. They weren't in her home with candles around them and rose petals on the floor, or at the beach with the relaxing noise of crashing waves behind them like they showed in the movies. It was in her car in an airport parking lot, and though they couldn't hear what was going on outside because the windows were rolled up, there were people passing by throwing them looks, some of jealousy, some smiles, some of disgust at their closeness.

Their legs were already sticking to the leather seats considering that the sun was already shining bright despite the early hour. And the hands that were still entwined, awkwardly now that their position had changed, had their palms sweating.

But despite all of that, Nicole closes the gap, both taking deep breaths through their noses when their lips touch as an electrical jolt-like sensation jolts them even more awake, as the feeling quickly spreads to the rest of their bodies. Waverly wonders hows she's not passed out right now.

It wasn't the neatest kiss either.

It was desperate and messy, but to the both of them it was perfect, so much better than their daydreams. Waverly captures Nicole's bottom lip and when she tilts her head, their noses bump into each other and they both laugh in the kiss without breaking it apart. Nicole puts her hand on the back of Waverly's neck, drawing her closer, a mixture of hunger and love in the kiss, as Waverly puts her hand on Nicole's cheek.

Nicole's mouth was warm, and her lips softer than she'd imagined, and Waverly knew that she'd already become addicted to her taste.

They craved to hold each other close, but when they move to do so, they're blocked by the center console and when they realized it, they pull apart and laugh loudly and freely, until their foreheads are touching, and their eyes connect as they try to catch their breath again.

Their faces are bright, and their smiles are beaming.

Waverly moves her lips to Nicole's forehead and leaves her a peck. "That was better than anything I've ever imagined."

"You've imagined this before?" Nicole teases jokingly considering she'd done so as well.

"Oh, shut up," Waverly says with no malice in her voice. She turns around to face the front again and she rolls down the windows to let in the cool air, not that there was much. She's about to start the car when Nicole's fingers land on her chin and turns her head to capture her lips once again, only this time the kiss is short and sweet.

When Nicole pulls apart she says, "Sorry, it's kind of hard not to kiss you now that you're here."

Waverly laughs softly, "Don't ever apologize for that, babe. I feel the same way," she grins. "So, are you ready to go meet Wynonna?"

Waverly smirks when Nicole’s eyes go wide. 

 

 

❧

Wynonna watches Waverly through the window of her home and her heart almost bursts with ecstasy at the look of pure joy her sister wears. Her eyes roam to the right and there’s Nicole, whose head is turned to look at Waverly with what she can only describe as "heart eyes." She refrains from rolling her eyes. The young couple's arms are swinging back and forth, and there’s a bounce in her younger sister’s step that wasn't there this morning. Well, maybe it wasn't there because Wynonna made her believe she was intruder and scared the crap out of her. She shrugs at the thought. It was definitely a good morning for her.

Wynonna is not embarrassed to admit that she's excited to meet Nicole. Surprisingly, her and Nicole had become good friends as well over the past 2 years since Waverly had introduced them to each other. They spoke on the phone every now and then, and texted each other quite often. She really liked the girl; she kept up with her snarky comments and sarcastic responses, and she'd always appreciated people who _actually_  came back with things. It made for interesting conversations.

Plus, she knew Waverly loved it, now more than ever, that her girlfriend and sister got along so well. So, she couldn't contain the smile that took over her face when she saw Waverly and Nicole approaching the door.

But still, she a job to do. She had to put on the older, protective sister act even though Nicole knew her well enough. Even though she was sure that Nicole would never intentionally hurt Waverly, she forced the smile away (just for a moment). 

 

 

❧

When Waverly and Nicole reach the door to Wynonna's home, the brunette lifts up her free hand to knock on the door only to have it fall through nothing but air for it's swung open by Wynonna, who has a serious look on her face. _Oh God _ she thinks. _Here we go._

"Haught," Wynonna says in a state-like manner, as though she were a detective greeting another.

"Earp," Nicole matches her tone.

Another moment passes by, and Waverly just stares, wondering what's going to happen next, and she rolls her eyes when they both break out into huge smiles and lean in to hug each other tightly.

"Wow, Wynonna, you are much prettier in person," Nicole says with a smile as she pulls away.

"Is that an insult or a compliment?" Wynonna asks with narrowed eyes.

Nicole just shrugs.

"Whatever. Look at you, Haughstuff! You're much prettier in person, too. Although compared to how you look on a screen, that's nothing to be proud of."  Wynonna says,  but the smile and happiness is her eyes contradicts her snarky words. Nicole glares at her.

"Okay, can you two stop flirting and get inside, please?" Waverly asks from beside them. "I'm melting out here!" She pushes past the women and gets inside. She lets out a groan of satisfaction when she feels the cool air of the air conditioning.

She sits in the love-seat as her girlfriend and sister walk in laughing about God knows what. She meets Nicole's eyes and smiles before patting the space next to her. Nicole easily obliges and sits with her girlfriend, who automatically curls into her side when her arm wraps around her shoulders. Waverly leaves a peck on her cheek.

"Are you guys going to be this disgustingly cute for the next 10 days? Because if you are, I'm gonna need you to go back, Haughtpants."

Nicole rolls her eyes at the one of hundreds of nicknames Wynonna has for her. "Can't do that. You'd miss me too much," Nicole points out.

Wynonna snorts. Just as she's about to comeback with something that makes her Wynonna, Doc walks into the room, his cowboy hat and all.

He walks up to Nicole and tips his hat, "Much obliged to meet you, Officer Haught," he smiles, his kind eyes making her feel welcomed.

Nicole stands, "Oh no, Nicole's fine," she gives him a polite smile while shaking his hand, still slightly intimidated by his look and husky voice.

"I must say, _Nicole_ ," Doc starts as he takes a seat beside Wynonna, mirroring the position the younger couple was in, "this surprise for Waverly was quite kind of you. I was having trouble containing it just so I could see that lovely smile of hers. The one that has the whole town wrapped around her little finer." He throws Waverly a wink telling her that it was actually an easy secret to keep. She rolls her eyes lightheartedly.

"I knew I was going to surprise her the minute we started dating," Nicole admits, looking over at Waverly with loving eyes. "I was just waiting for the moment we would finally schedule a visit."

"Well, it's definitely the best surprise I've ever received," Waverly says as Nicole gives her a kiss on the side of her head. (She was already having trouble keeping her lips off of her.)

"Hey!" Wynonna speaks up, breaking their little bubble. "What about the surprise party I threw you for you're 21st birthday! I got practically the whole town to come," she points out.

 "Oh please, like that's hard," Waverly argues back. 

 "It's Wynonna we're talking about," Doc shares.

Waverly pauses. "Hm. That's right," she says pondering. "It was a lovely party, Nonna," she gives in.

"And?"

Nicole snorts. Wynonna throws her a glare.

"Oh my God," Waverly mutters under breath. "And it's better than this surprise."

Wynonna breaks her serious face, "You're too easy, baby girl," she says with a smirk.

Hours later of more innocent banter, amusement, and shared loving looks, Waverly’s watching Wynonna and Doc argue about who’s going to put the burgers on the grill with amusement when Nicole’s voice meets her ears.

"Hey, Waves, I’m sorry, but could I take a quick nap somewhere? As much as I’d love to keep talking to you guys, my eyes are _burning_ ," Nicole chuckles as she whispers in Waverly’s ears. She didn’t want Wynonna or Doc overhearing in fear of seeming rude.

Waverly turns her head to meet Nicole’s eyes. It’s only then that she realizes she neglected to see the bags forming underneath and their slight redness. She gives Nicole an apologetic look, "Of course." She hesitates before asking, "I’m pretty tired too, do you think I could, umm, sleep...with you?" 

Nicole’s heart bursts, not only at the innocent suggestion, but at how adorable shy Waverly looks. She gives her a soft smile, flashing the top row of her teeth. "I think I’ll sleep better with you by my side." 

Waverly’s shy smile turns into a grin and she closes the gap between them in simple, but long kiss. Wynonna and Doc share a look behind the couple (they’d decided that it would be Doc who put the burgers on the grill this time). Doc shakes his head in disappointment and takes out his wallet before passing Wynonna a twenty dollar bill. 

"I told you they’d had their first kiss already," Wynonna sings, her infamous smirk taking over. 

"I’d believed that Waverly wanted to set up the scene for a perfect first kiss. It’s what she’s told me!" He argues. 

"Oh, please, Doc. Don’t be so naive," Wynonna leans in and leaves Doc a sloppy kiss on the cheek. "Thanks for the twenty," she says as Doc gets up to go to their backyard. 

"Hey, Nonna," Waverly begins, getting up from the couch, "Nicole and I are going to take over your guest bedroom for _—_ " 

"No, no, no, no," Wynonna interrupts quickly. "I don’t want to know what the hell you guys are going to be doing, thank you very much."

Waverly rolls her eyes, "We’re just going to take a nap." 

"Right," Wynonna says with narrowed eyes focused on Nicole, "A nap." She says with air quotes. "Is that code for se _—_ " 

"Okay, goodbye," Waverly lets out as she yanks Nicole by the hand towards the room. Nicole lets out a loud laugh at the Earps’ antics as she attempts to keep up with Waverly’s quick steps 

When they enter the room, the first thing Waverly does is throw herself onto the bed. Literally. She stands in front of it, throws her arms wide open as if getting ready to say _I'm flying_ , and lets herself fall, her face flat on the mattress. Nicole smiles at Waverly's ridiculousness. It seems that her lips will never stop turning up when she’s around the brunette. 

Waverly lifts up her head when she doesn’t feel the other side dip. "Are you coming?" 

She’s nervous, the hard pound in her chest making her aware of it, but she’s not completely sure why. They're just sleeping together, cuddling and dreaming away. This shouldn’t have her feeling this nervous, yet she can’t help but think that even something as small as a glance from Nicole could turn her into a stuttering mess.  _What is this girl doing to me?_ She thinks.

Nicole walks towards the bed, seemingly as nervous as she is.

She feels the bed dip and looks up to find Nicole’s head on the pillow, inches away from she is, and stiff as a rock. She bites her cheek to contain her amused smile.

"I don’t bite, you know?" 

"There are other ways to scare a person," Nicole says, her body relaxing when she hears the teasing tone in Waverly’s voice.

Waverly scrunches her eyebrows and sits up into indian style. "I scare you," she says in more of a statement than a question. "Is that a bad thing?" She asks insecurely. "Did I do something wrong? If you don’t want to sleep together, I get it," she rushes out. 

Nicole is instantly up, her arms going to Waverly’s cheeks. "Hey, Waves. Breathe, okay? It’s not a bad thing," she smiles reassuringly while kissing her forehead. "Come here."

Waverly lets herself be brought down by Nicole who lies on her back as Waverly lies on her side. Nicole moves her head to her chest before putting an arm around her and that’s all it takes for Waverly to calm down. The protection and love she feels from being held makes her feel comfortable and she snuggles in closer, her nose buried in Nicole’s neck. 

They're quiet for a moment before Nicole speaks up, "This is nice."

"It is, isn’t it? Totally amazeballs," Waverly says breaking all of the awkward tension.

Nicole lets out a laugh and Waverly follows, throwing her leg over Nicole’s thigh, and squeezing Nicole tight. Nicole kisses the top of her head and passes out seconds after that. Waverly's shocked at how fast she fell asleep. She always envied those types of people.

When Waverly can hear Nicole’s steady breathing, her last thought is  _this is absolutely perfect_  before giving in to her heavy eyes.

Their short nap ends up being 3 hours long and one o' clock, Wynonna walks into the guest room literally banging a wooden spoon on pan. She startles Waverly who in turn jumps and her head bumps hard on Nicole’s chin.

"Shit," Waverly says rubbing her head.

"Fuckin’ A, Wynonna," Nicole says glaring at the eldest Earp while rubbing her chin, thankful that she didn’t bite her tongue. This is definitely  _not_ how she wanted to be awaken.

"Time to get up, lovebugs," Wynonna announces before exiting the room. "Also, check the groupchat."

When the room is left to the couple once again, they realize the position they’re still in and blush lightly, unaccustomed to being so close. 

"Hi, pretty girl," Waverly says looking at Nicole through her eyelashes.

"Hi," Nicole answers amused. "Sleep well?"

"Better than most night, that’s for sure."

Nicole lets out a hum of approval. "Me too." 

They stare at each other for a moment before neither of then can seem to handle  _anything_  any longer, and next thing Nicole knows is that Waverly’s straddling her lap and kissing her senseless. Nicole follows along eagerly, her hands hugging Waverly’s waist tightly, trying to get her impossibly closer. Waverly nibbles her bottom lip playfully before she lets go with a plop. When they pull apart, their eyes meet again, both breathing hard, chests heaving, and Waverly lowers her head after having gotten her breath back. Waverly feels Nicole’s tongue run over her bottom lip and Waverly opens her mouth wider to let Nicole explore. Nicole tastes tentatively with her tongue, and Waverly responds with a low moan.

Waverly tilts her head when she feels Nicole’s hand grasp her shirt, trying to pull it up. That’s when she pulls apart.  

"Whoa, whoa, slow down there tiger. I’d love to continue, but I don’t think this should go any further yet," Waverly says as she holds herself up over Nicole with her elbows.

"Right," Nicole says, a bit embarrassed. "Sorry, I got a little bit carried away."

Waverly gives her a smile and leans down to leave a softer kiss on her lips, this one much different than the others, but still as breathtaking. 

"Wow," Nicole says looking at Waverly like she holds all of the answers to life. It makes Waverly’s stomach flip and twirl. 

"Don’t apologize for wanting more, ever. I just don’t want our first time to be in my sister’s guest room, you know?" 

Nicole chuckles, "I agree. How about we go join her and Doc, then?" 

"Oh yeah, they’re not the only ones here." 

Nicole scrunches her eyebrows. "They’re not?"

"Nope. The whole gangs here. Everyone’s excited to meet you!" Waverly exclaims, hearing more than 2 voice from the backyard.

"Really?" Nicole asks shocked, but touched nonetheless. 

Waverly nods excitedly as she gets up. "Now get up and give me piggyback ride!" She says seriously. "I’ve been waiting for it since we started dating."

Nicole lets out a laugh, "Whatever you want, baby."

Nicole squats down in position and Waverly jumps on easily, and smiles widely when she feels Nicole's hands on the back of her thighs. She lifts up her finger and points forward and with a old-sounding, deep voice yells, "To the backyard!"

Nicole laughs again, a carefree one that makes Waverly fucking happy, and Nicole twirls them around 3 times, which has Waverly grasping Nicole tightly and laughing in her ear. Nicole steps out into the hallway and takes them to the backyard with Waverly’s directions.

Waverly, who’s face is buried in Nicole’s neck, feels all eyes on them when they walk outside, and she looks up to see her little family looking at them with smiles that could match theirs. "Hey, guys!" Waverly says jumping off of a suddenly shy Nicole. Waverly gives her an endearing looking, and intertwines their hands. She knows that talking to people on screen and then meeting them in real life is much different.

 "I mean, you all know who this is, but I’ll tell you anyway. This is Nicole," Waverly introduces as she squeezes her hand to let her know that she’s there.

Jeremy is the first to walk up to Nicole and extends his hand, "We’re playing Space Team later," he says making Nicole instantly feel at home.

"Only if you promise not to get accidentally lock your phone and make us lose again," Nicole teases.

"That was one time!" He argues, walking back to the lawn chair.

"3 times," Wynonna pitches in. " _3 times_ you did that," she glares. Jeremy flips her the bird. Doc covers Wynonna's mouth before anything bad comes out.

She bites him.

"Good to see you, officer," Dolls walks up next, extending his hand. "We’re all glad to finally have you here," he says with a kind smile as Rosita walks up beside him.

"Officer. Hmm, I like that coming from you, Dolls. Sounds all official and shit," Nicole says with a smirk as she shakes his hand before looking over at Rosita.

"I’m more of a hug kind of girl," Rosita says as she leans in to give Nicole a hug. "I know I’ve known you for the least amount of time, but it  _is_  really good to meet the woman that makes Waverly’s eyes light up the way they do, so whatever you’re doing, keep doing it."

Waverly looks down with a shy smile, but not before catching Nicole’s own eyes light up at the comment. She leads them to one of the couches.

"So, Haughtshit," Wynonna starts, "Waves tells me you had training in boxing at the academy."

"Yeah," Nicole says with suspicion. "Why?" 

"Well, you know some techniques, I teach boxing... I think you know what I'm getting at.

"Ooh, all I'm hearing is an opportunity for a bet," Xavier pitches in.

"Really? What I'm hearing is that you've got a gambling problem, Dolls," Rosita smirks.

Waverly ignores the pair and turns to Nicole, "You don't have to _—_ "

"Oh _hell yeah_ , I'm going to,'' Nicole smirks.

Waverly rolls her eyes at the obvious prideful look on Nicole's face. "You know she's going to kick your ass, right?"

The group contains their laughter at Waverly's bluntness. 

Nicole pouts "Babe! You're supposed to be on my side!" 

Waverly laughs at the pout and kisses it away (she still couldn't believe she could do that, and not worry about her iPhone screen getting in the way.) "You're right I'm going to support the ten percent chance you have of winning." 

Wynonna scoffs, "Ten percent? Don't get her hopes up too much, Waves! She's got a three percent chance of winning, and that's just me being generous."

"Someone's cocky," Jeremy sings from the side, avoiding eye contact with his trainer. 

"Just confident," Wynonna shrugs.

Waverly chuckles when she sees the look of sheer determination in her girlfriend's eyes. She gets close to Nicole's ears and whispers in a husky tone,"If you win, I'll give you a prize."

Nicole visibly gulps and it takes everything in Waverly to hold back her smirk.

"Which will be what?" Nicole asks after gathering herself.

"What I sent you picture of..." Waverly trails off knowing that Nicole knows exactly what she's talking about.

 Nicole 's eyes widen and she's thankful that no one's paying attention, everyone having different conversations amongst themselves now.

"You mean t-the..."

"The picture of... the ice cream I sent you last week? Yes, that." No longer being able to contain it, Waverly's face morphs into the smirk Wynonna gave to Jeremy when they bumped into them at _Red's Diner_.

Nicole turns to face her so quickly, she's afraid she may have broken her neck. She glares at Waverly "You _—_ " 

"Amazing, wonderful person?" throws in Waverly with raised eyebrows.

"Oh I'm going to get you back so bad, Waverly Earp."

She says it with the same look of determination she wore earlier that it makes Waverly regret her decision of teasing instantly. "Fuck me," she mutters to herself. But, she doesn't have time to regret her decision because Natalie Cole's  _This Will Be (An Everlasting Love) c_ omes on and Nicole drags her up to dance.

Waverly squeals in surprise, but lets Nicole hold her hand as another goes around her waist. She laughs when Nicole starts spinning them around and twirling her away and back to her. Her grin widens when Doc and Wynonna, and Rosita and Jeremy, start dancing together, too. 

" _You've given me the thrill of a lifetime_ ," Nicole sings in her ear, sporting a smile that shows her dimples. Rosita and Jeremy take turns twirling each other around, and everyone laughs when Jeremy trips over his own shitty moves. Dolls watches from the sidelines with a smile on his face before Wynonna offers to dance with him while Doc gets back to the grilling, her hips, like Waverly's, moving from side to side playfully.

Eventually, they all start switching partners, and they all end up getting a dance with everyone going into Stevie Wonder's S _igned, Sealed, Delivered (I'm yours)_ until the burgers were ready.

By midnight, her and Nicole are in bed, Nicole spooning her, her breath hitting the back of her neck softly, reminding her that Nicole really is here. Nicole is dead asleep, the days events caught up to her the second her head landed on the pillow, when she remembers that she hadn't checked the message in the group chat that Wynonna had told them to check.

She grabs her phone from the nightstand and opens up their messagesonly to see a picture Wynonna took of them while they were sleeping. In it, Waverly is fully on Nicole, her head on her chest, and though her hair is hiding most of her face, she can still see enough that she can tell how peaceful she looks. Her arms are on both sides of the redhead, but Nicole's right arm is hooked under hers, gripping her shirt tightly. Even unconscious, Nicole still can't believe that her girlfriend's there and is afraid of waking up and not finding Waverly there with her.

The picture brings tears to her eyes, but she's unsure as to why. She's just glad her sister took it, and with that she puts her phone down, and succumbs to a sleep with her girlfriend beside her. 

 

 

❧

Waverly is up just as the sun has filled up the sky with its full light, displaying a bright blue sky without a cloud in sight-a view that always takes Waverly's breath away because she always thinks  _Why blue?_ She's not sure why or how, and refuses to look it up because the science will just ruin her imagination and unrealistic theories. (Like the one she came up with last month _—_ that the Earth is like a small snow globe in God's hand and he just got a blue marker and colored the glass when he was bored.) She knows that none of them make any sense, but who gives a shit?

Anyway, despite the beautiful sky outside, which she could easily see from her windowconsidering that she never drew her curtains, her attention was solely on the redheaded goddess facing her right now. Nothing, no view of mountains or clear sky could even  _begin_ to compete with the beauty of her girlfriend.

Waverly lay staring at Nicole, pure wonder written all over her face, thinking one simple question:  _How?_  

No matter how hard she looked, every feature that would be deemed a flaw by society was perfect to her because they make Nicole who she is. And Nicole was inspiring and gorgeous _—_ a force to be reckoned with.

She wasn't naive. She knew that Nicole wasn't perfect, but that wasn't going stop her from letting her know that she had flipped Waverly's world upside down. She never understood the people that wouldn't show their significant others how they felt or take the time to appreciate the other person, but she guesses that that's none of her business. 

 

 

❧

During midday, the movie theater only held about 10 people who were spread all around the room. They'd decided to watch a movie after making breakfast together and by "together" meant Nicole making Waverly waffles as Waverly hugged her from behind and kissed her for motivation.

Nicole and Waverly sat on the 3rd row in the very middle, where Waverly always sat (she swore that it was the perfect spot to watch a film). The lights had just dimmed and the last of the trailers were playing when Waverly felt eyes on her. She turns her head to the right to where her girlfriend is seated and Nicole is staring right at her.

Waverly raises an eyebrow and suspiciously asks, "What? Do I have something on my face?" She raises her hand to wipe off a nonexistent stain off of her cheek.

Nicole laughs at her softly before saying no. Waverly hears the movie beginning to play, and turns back to face the screen, but she's distracted a moment later when Nicole still hasn't stopped looking at her. She turns her head a second time and meets her eyes.

"You're so beautiful," Nicole says out loud with a tilt of her head as if pondering how such a beauty could roam the planet. 

Waverly blushes and looks away. "It's dark, you can't even see me."

"I don't have to see you to know that you're beautiful," Nicole replies genuinely. She gives her a smile that says that she's the only one in the room.

Waverly attempts to bite back a grin, but she fails because how can a human being be this sweet? She still doesn't look at Nicole, but the woman is still bluntly staring. When she turns around for a last time, Nicole flashes her a wide smile. She moves forward and gives Waverly a quick peck before finally looking at the screen. But, she doesn't hesitate to grab Waverly's hand and intertwine their fingers. She needs to take full advantage of the fact that she can touch her before she has to go again.

5 minutes later Waverly turns to look at Nicole and she can see from Nicole's eyes that she's completely lost in the film. She holds back a chuckle and leans forward to kiss her cheek. Nicole looks at her with surprise, not having expected that kiss.

"You okay, baby?" Nicole asks automatically.

Waverly's heart skips a beat at the pet name, but she ignores Nicole's comment. She just leans forward and captures Nicole's lips in her own in a soft, and short kiss that perfectly shows Nicole how she feels at the moment _—_ like her heart is about to burst.

"I'm fantastic, want some popcorn?" Waverly asks when she pulls apart.

Nicole eyes it cautiously, "I don't know, is it good with the Red Vines and Raisinettes?"

"No, I threw them in there because it's disgusting and I felt like wasting 20 bucks for no reason."

Nine throws her hands up, thankful that no one sitting behind her. ''Alright,  _sweetheart,_ I'll try one, but know that if I end up in the hospital, it's on you."

"Why the hell would you end up in the hospital?"

"I don't know, you tell me!" Nicole argues.

"Oh, just watch the goddamn movie, will you?"

By the end of the film, Waverly has no clue what it was about and Nicole's eaten most of the popcorn and candy.

 

 

❧

Waverly and Nicole walk into Waverly's apartment holding hands after having spent the evening on a double date with Doc and Wynonna having dinner in the city, and when they enter they both feel the environment change. They both feel and know what's going to happen next, and neither of them need to put it into words. They simply walk into Waverly's bedroom and next thing Waverly knows is that Nicole is bare naked in front of her and the goddess she was staring at this morning just got impossibly more beautiful, and Waverly's whispering, "Make love to me," in her ear.

 

 

❧

Waverly is sitting on the steps of her front porch basking in light warmth of the sun and the cool wind that has leaves flying lightly across the sidewalk. It's quite the perfect morning—Nicole is in her bedroom sleeping as it's still quite early—and out here the morning is still and silent save for the birds perched on the tree branches and the few cars of those driving to work. The sun has just peaked, the jaw-dropping colors of its rise slowly fading away. 

Waverly can easily say that she feels at peace, something she rarely feels. Not that that's a bad thing, but there's a difference between happiness and feeling at peace.

She loves her life, the struggles that come along with it, the moments that have her crying of laughter, when she watches her sister light up at the sight of her husband, the moment she feels her new book in her hands, the times Nicole smiles at her making her heart uncontrollable.

Her childhood was hard, no doubt about that. For the longest time she was lost, confused, and afraid, which doesn't mean that she doesn't feel that way now, but she understands more now. The wound are still fresh, but they're healing, slowly.

But, she's come to terms that she is who she is for a reason. That everything that's happened to her happened and there's nothing she can do about it. And even if there was something she could do about it, if she could magically change her past, she wouldn't.

Because Waverly believes that if she would alter one thing about her past, then maybe she wouldn't have met Nicole. And frankly, Nicole's the best goddamn thing that's ever happened to her. Because even though she believes that she's in control of her own life, she also believes in fate to some extent. It makes her feels safe and protected, knowing that the Universe or whatever the hell is out there has a plan for her, but also gives her options. It's strange to many people, her beliefs, but they make sense to her and that's all that matters.

The deep thoughts that invade her mind whenever she's alone are broken when she's startled back to reality when she feels a body behind her. Her fast-pacing heart instantly slows down when Nicole's scent hits her nose _—_ vanilla and coconut. Nicole settles in behind her, and her chin goes to the top of her head easily for she's sitting on the second step. Waverly lets out a hum when she feels Nicole's warm arms embrace her and she leans in against Nicole's front, her head resting on her shoulder. 

"What are thinking about baby?" Nicole asks after a moment.

"What makes you think I'm thinking about something?" Waverly challenges.

"I slammed the door by accident when I came out and you didn't even blink."

Waverly turns a light blink and chuckles, "Sorry." But she doesn't say anything more.

Nicole lets it go. "What do you want to do today?"

Waverly snuggles in further into Nicole, "Lets just sit here for now. I mean, if that's okay with you?"

Nicole leaves a kiss on the top of her head. "Sounds perfect."

"But we can have a repeat of tonight in bit?" Waverly says, her eyes getting dark.

Nicole squeezes her in response. A beat later, they forget about the pretty sky and run inside. The second the door closes, Nicole slams Waverly against the front door and kisses her hard.

They only get as far as the sofa. 

Then, they somehow ended up in the kitchen.

Eventually, they made it to the bedroom.

 

 

❧

"Hey, Nicole, want to go on a picnic date?" asks a bubbly Waverly as she makes her way in front  of Nicole who pulls her onto her lap. She'd been in the kitchen making sandwiches and an egg salad, so her asking Nicole was just a formality.

"Isn't it too hot for us to be outside today?"

"I'll just take one of those ice fan thingamajigs," she shrugs.

Nicole nuzzles her neck. "Well, in that case. I'd love to go on a picnic date with you, Ms. Earp," Nicole leaves a kiss on the base of her neck.

"Great, let's go!" Waverly says as she takes the hat the rests on the redhead as placing it on herself. 

 

 

❧

" _I gave you all I got to give, I know that ain't no way to live. So, I told that devil to take you back. I told that devil to take you back,_ " Nicole and Waverly end in sync ten minutes later.

Waverly smiles at Nicole's terrible voice as she throws an arm out the wide open window of her jeep.

"I have to admit that I'd been waiting to rock out to that song with you," Nicole says looking over at her girlfriend.

"You're lucky I learned the lyrics for you then."

Nicole throws her a grin and leans over to give her a kiss on the lips after Waverly parks her jeep. They bring down the basket, yes a basket because Waverly thinks they're cuter than just a plastic bag you throw everything in, the blanket, and the fan, and make their way to empty spot under a large tree that'll provide plenty of shade. They eat and talk about random topics for awhile and somehow Nicole ends up lying down on Waverly's lap as Waverly leans back, holding herself up with her arms. 

"Lie down and trace the leaves with me, my love," Nicole says.

"That's a weird sentence," Waverly say with amusement in her eyes.

Nicole gives her a silly grin and Waverly can't stop herself from leaving a peck on her nose, which makes Nicole scrunch it up in the cutest manner. Nicole picks up her head from Waverly's lap to allow Waverly to move. Once Waverly is settled down beside her, Nicole picks up a thin, and short part of a branch and hands it to Waverly.

They lie there, tracing the leaves from the tree above them, from afar, both with an eye closed partly because of the sun, partly because it's better to see. For the second time that day, Waverly feels at peace.

All Waverly is thinking is  _what kind of person asks another to trace leaves with them?_ That's fucking weird, right? But, it's so endearingly weird that Waverly can't help but love it. It's like there is no other option available. 

All of it was innocent, and different, and fun, that Waverly felt that it was too good to be true. Her thoughts went to the conversation they had the night before, when they were both lying in bed, bare and exposed, and she doesn't know how it came to be or who started the conversation, but they ended up talking about fate and chance, to religion, to government conspiracies. 

She hadn't realized how much she had missed deep conversations, or just lying with someone in comfortable silence, which is what they did when their conversation finished before slowly drifting to sleep. 

But none of it surprised her, she was an author after all. She wasn't a big fan of small talk. She loved picking at people brains and figuring out what they dreamed, what they imagined before they went to sleep. And Nicole's mind…well, Nicole's mind was one that she thinks she'd never stop exploring. 

"Where'd you go?" Nicole asks, her hand stopping when she realizes that Waverly has stopped moving hers, paused in midair as if a puppeteer decided to leave it hanging up.

Waverly blinks. "Sorry, I was _—_ "

"Lost in your own world?" Nicole smiles softly. She turns around, leaning on the left side of her body, her hand holding her head up. "What's going on in that precious mind of yours?" She asks while tapping Waverly's forehead twice.

"Honestly?" Waverly asks, still lying on her back, her eyes determining what the big cloud above them is shaped as. (She concludes that it's definitely a unicorn). The jaw dropping colors of the morning are coming back only this time as darkness began to invade. The ambiance is perfect. There are people talking and laughing loudly, and children screaming, but everyone sounds like they're filled with joy, even though everyone is slowly melting from the heat. "Yours," she says.

"Huh?" 

"Your mind is on my mind," Waverly says

"What's wrong with my mind?" Nicole asks defensively.

"Why do you automatically assume that I'm thinking something negative about your mind?" Waverly giggles, turning her head around and leaving a kiss on Nicole's arm.

Nicole shrugs. "I'm programmed to automatically think the worst."

Waverly ponders that for a second. "I don't believe you," she says confidently.

Nicole gives her a warm smile, "Me neither. Now, why are you thinking about my mind?" 

Before Waverly answers her, she switches their positions. She pushes Nicole to lie on her back, while she lays on her side and holds her head up. She moves her other hand to Nicole's face. She drags her fingers softly from the side of her forehead down to her chin, and continues that motion while she speaks. "For a cop, someone who likes facts and logic, your mind is so colorful and full of mazes that I hope I never find a way out of. It's beautiful, and different, and quite inspiring," Waverly whispers, the words only meant to enter Nicole's ears.

Nicole lets out a small gasp at the words and her heart beats hard and fast in her chest and she vaguely wonders if Waverly can hear it. She doesn't respond to Waverly's words, not because she doesn't want to, but because she truly rendered her speechless. 

Nicole searches her eyes as if to see if she's telling the truth and Waverly assumes that she finds what she's looking for when she lifts her head up and connects their lips is a soft, yet passionate kiss. Waverly's chest aches from the love she feels for Nicole and realizes that she can't contain the words any longer. 

She pulls apart from the kiss, and says, "Nicole?"

Nicole, who still seems speechless, especially from the kiss, manages out a word, "Yeah?"

"I love you," Waverly breathes out. "I love you dangerously so."

Nicole gives her a smile that she's never seen before, one that makes the side of her eyes crinkle, and it manages to take her breath away for a good minute. 

"I love you, too," Nicole says. "I have never loved anyone the way that I love you."

"Yeah?" Waverly says with affection. 

Nicole nods confidently, but at that moment, they're interrupted by the unexpected.

Sprinklers.

Waverly squeals as she pulls herself apart from Nicole and stands. "Shit!"

Nicole follows her, but before she can run away from the water, Nicole pulls her back from the back of her shirt and pushes their lips together in a messy kiss, that isn't much of kiss because they're both smiling so hard that their teeth keep clashing together. Waverly giggles into Nicole's mouth and Nicole hugs her by the waist, and picks her and twirls her around, both women now practically soaked from the water falling around them.

From some feet away, an elderly couple sits on a bench and they're staring at Waverly and Nicole with amusement and endearment on their faces. There are small smiles on their faces, and the woman, Emily _—_ a retired author who had just turned 81 yesterday _—_ looks over at her husband, "Remember when we did that, once upon a time?" She bumps her elbows to her husband ribcage lightly, her eyes filled with nostalgia.

Her husband _—_ Tom, an 85-year-old man who still created art for a living _—_ chuckles at the memory of when his wife and him started dating at the age of 20 and their 10th date was the exact scene that was playing out in front of them. The redhead was chasing the brunette, who was laughing so hard she was having trouble moving her legs, around in circles, and their faces had drops of water sliding down them and their clothes were now completely soaked.

"The only difference between them and us," he begins, "is that you and I did it during winter. And you ended getting so sick, I spent the next 2 days taking care of you." The couple both laugh at the memory, "We were a couple of idiotic kids, weren't we?"

"That's okay," Emily reassures. "I love us. Forever and always."

Tom gives Emily a chaste kiss on the lips before repeating, "Forever and always."

They turn back to Waverly and Nicole who are now making out on the grass. 

"Yeah, idiotic kids," Tim laughs.

"Idiotic kids who are going to be married someday. I'm sure about it," Emily ends with confidence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I struggled some (a lot) with this chapter, but I really hope you liked it at least a little bit?
> 
> Also, are you guys liking Waverly's POV in the beginning? Anyone feeling nervous?


	5. Safe Haven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sad as fuck because the season is over, but at least I can depend on reading and writing fics ((i guess)) 
> 
> Happy reading :-)
> 
> P.S. THANKS FOR THE KUDOS AND COMMENTS, THEY MEAN A LOT A LOT <3
> 
> but seriously THE EPISODE GOT ME FUCKED UPPPP

_Sometimes, I think that the Universe is a big pile of bullshit. It's the gift that keeps on giving, only no one wants it's goddamn gifts because nothing it gives feels like such._

_We label the bullshit it throws at us as ‘blessings’ and it's all—well, it's all bullshit._

_There's been a lot of bullshit in my life, but Nicole ending up in the hospital definitely topped the rest. It won a competition that I didn't want to exist in the first place._

_It infuriates me that people have to suffer or go through pain for a reason, because it’s a purpose of theirs. People go blind or lose a leg because they’re going to end up inspiring others, or because they’re going to accomplish amazing things._

_And it’s all such bullshit because these things_ are _fucking blessings. We all know it, but God, it’s unfair. But, I guess fair is for horses, right? Or some bullshit like that?_

 _While Nicole lied there, with the mountains in sight and the condemning (to me) white, I was thinking:_ Bullshit! Why did you do this to me, Universe? Why did you do this to _her_?

_But now I think back and it all makes sense why it happened, and it's so unfair that all that bullshit had to happen for us to be where we are now._

_Nicole had to run into the building like the idiotic hero she is, she had to see something that she’ll never be unable to unsee, and then she had to be shot for her to be,_ trulybe _, with me. We were put on a rollercoaster, a ride whose tracks ran through the depths of hell, because it was necessary? Because that’s how fate planned it to be?_

_Well, the Universe just put down 2 cards on the stack in the middle—“2 aces,” it says—but I know that I have all 4 aces in my hand, so I call BULLSHIT._

_But then I think if Nicole hadn't gone through all she went through, then she wouldn't have ended up in Purgatory. If she wasn’t in Purgatory, then Nedley would probably be dead. I wouldn't have my niece because she would've never told Wynonna that comment that convinced her become a mother._

_Maybe we wouldn't have been as strong, either._

_And when I think of all of that, it all makes sense why everything that happened happened. And it's all a bunch of bullshit._

_Bullshit that I'm angrily grateful for._  

❧

It’s nearing seven o’clock, and after a day of the most competitive bowling games Waverly has ever played, beer and the arcade, and non-stop laughter with her girlfriend and friends, her and Nicole decided to spend the night in to cuddle, make out, and watch Jessica Jones. But before doing that, Nicole insisted that she write in her journal because she hadn't done so all week.

“Hey, don’t blame me for breaking your habit. I didn’t force you to not write,” Waverly says.

“No, you just put your boobs in my face. I mean, that’s technically forcing!”

“You’re the one who leaned in to kiss me when I took off my bra to change into something more comfortable. That’s all I was doing.”

“You and I both know that’s not true.”

“Maybe,” Waverly smirks. “But it's not like I was holding a gun to your head.”

Nicole mutters something under her breath that Waverly doesn't catch, but she just laughs and starts reading her book.

Outside, the chime of crickets progressively gets louder as the children's screams and laughter fade away when their parents call them in for dinner, and the sun's rise (to another side of the world) causes the shadows of the trees to look like they lay sideways, as if getting ready to sleep with the rest if Purgatory. Though the difference between humans and trees is that humans don't look like they have 5 hands with a witch's rotting fingernails, ready to prod out the eyes of intruders when the sun exposes their shadows.

20 minutes later, Nicole closes her journal with a satisfied sigh and from her position—she's lying on her stomach—she looks up at Waverly. "You are so pretty with those glasses," she says with a dimpled smiled.

Waverly, who's reading _On Writing_ by Stephen King (another memoir, of course), smiles at her girlfriend and leaves a kiss on her head. "You are very pretty too, Nicky.”

“Thanks, my love,” Nicole says.

Nicole mentioning her glasses makes her realize how dirty they are. She takes them off and holds them up to the light to find where the smudges and fingerprints of the ghosts—because she surely had not touched them—were before cleaning them with her shirt.

She groans when she realizes she’s still wearing her shirt-of-the-day.

"What's wrong?" Nicole asks, her brow furrowing at the sudden change in mood.

"Wrong material," Waverly says. "Can I borrow your shirt?"

"Uhh, yes?" Nicole hesitates. ( _What’s wrong with her own shirt?...I guess it’s a people-with-glasses thing_.)

"Thanks," Waverly says before scooting closer to the readhead and using bottom of her shirt, exposing Nicole's midriff, to rid of the fingerprints.

"You know, someone might think that you're just trying to get me out of my clothes," Nicole says.

"Well _I_ think you're right," Waverly says as she puts on her glasses before taking Nicole's shirt off. She quickly takes her own off too.

"You move quick," Nicole says with a mixture of awe and arousal.

"It's cause I want to be comfortable."

Waverly smirks when she sees Nicole's confused expression. "Comfortable?"

"Yup." She grabs Nicole's t-shirt and puts it on.

" _That's_ why you took my shirt off?" Nicole asks, ignoring her arousal.

"I was too lazy to get a t-shirt of my own," she shrugs.

Nicole lets out a soft laugh. “You’re something else, Waverly Earp.”

Waverly doesn’t respond to the comment, but that doesn’t mean that her heart doesn’t speed up at it. "You know, usually you smell like vanilla and coconut."

"And tonight?" Nicole asks as she gets takes a t-shirt from Waverly’s closet. It’s a trade, right?

"Tonight you smell like vanilla-dipped donuts," Waverly laughs. "Wynonna?"

"Wynonna."

Waverly pats the bed beside her and puts on Jessica Jones. “Come on, then. Let’s watch a few episodes before you have to get some rest for tomorrow morning.”

❧

"Wake up, Nicole!" Waverly says while hitting her girlfriend with a pillow.

"Waves!" Nicole groans. "I don't want to." She grabs the pillow she's lying on and throws it over her face.

"If you don't get up, I'll pour cold water all over you."

"You wouldn't," Nicole says, her voice muffled.

"Nicole," Waverly says with a teasing, yet firm tone.

Nicole takes off her pillow and glares at her girlfriend. "You wouldn't," she repeats.

"Try me," Waverly says with a raised eyebrow, her gaze never faltering.

"Ugh, you're such an ass."

"An ass that you love. Now get up! You're the one who agreed to fight Wynonna after I told you not to."

"Fine! I'm up, I'm up." Nicole says, forcing herself to remove the blankets. "Give me a piggyback ride to the shower," she adds while hiding a smile.

Waverly rolls her eyes. "Nicky, you're like a hundred feet taller than me!"

"You saying you can't do it, then?" Nicole challenges fully knowing that she's tapping into Waverly's competitive side.

Waverly narrows her eyes at her. "Of course I can do it." She walks up to Nicole, but before she gets into position, Nicole stops her.

"Babe, I'm kidding. I’ll probably break you."

"I'm not wea–"

Nicole gives her an adorable smile. "I know. I just don't want you to hurt yourself. I know full well how strong you are, believe me." She leans back and starts taking off her clothes.

"Uhh, w-what are you doing?" Waverly asks.

"I'm going to shower," Nicole says indifferently while removing her bra.

Waverly doesn't take her eyes off of Nicole's exposed chest, "But you're going to box. You're going to sweat. Just shower after."

"I don't like going out without showering, you know that," Nicole says, not bothering to hide her smirk at the effect she has on her girlfriend as she stands completely bare in front of her.

"You're weird," Waverly says, without paying attention to what's coming out of her mouth, her eyes roaming every inch of Nicole's body hungrily. She licks her lips and steps closer to Nicole after meeting her eyes. "Can I join you?"

Nicole steps close to Waverly, pressing her breasts against hers, and kisses her roughly, her hands squeezing her ass. Waverly lets out a moan and Nicole pulls apart from the kiss before getting close to ear, "No."

Waverly does a double-take, blinks, and steps back. "N-no?"

"Nope," Nicole says as she makes her way to the bathroom.

"Why not?"

"Because I told you I'd get you back."

"What?" Waverly.

Nicole leans against the doorframe, "When you teased me about the picture, I said I'd get you back. And I did," Nicole shrugs.

Waverly's eyes widen. "You–"

" _Amazing, wonderful person_?" Nicole says, repeating the same words Waverly had used on her.

"Just go shower, fucker."

Nicole throws her a wink and walks into the bathroom. She leaves the door open, and before she goes in, she brushes her teeth. Meanwhile, Waverly watches her every move, only this time with less hunger and more affection, and it makes her remember that she'd forgotten to do something.

She walks into the bathroom just as Nicole spits into the sink and makes her way behind her. She hugs her around the waist and stands on her tiptoes to put her chin on the redhead’s shoulders.

She meets Nicole's eyes in the mirror and she can see slight insecurity in them. It's not too obvious, but if you really look— and Waverly's really looking—you can spot it there, just an asterisk in a sight filled with wonder. (Though she's not sure why Nicole's looking at her with wonder.)

"Have I ever told you that you look beautiful in the morning?" Waverly asks, leaving a kiss on Nicole's shoulder.

Nicole had no idea what Waverly was seeing. She's loves herself, had worked on doing so for years, and that included her physical body. She tried hard not to point out her flaws, but Waverly took everything to new level, and she truly had no idea what she saw.

Looking in the mirror, she was in her most bare form, plus her hair was a mess, she had what her grandma used to call _sleepy sand_ , but her father referred to as  _eye boogers_ lingering in the corner of both her eyes, and left over toothpaste foam sat in the right corner of her lips...yet Waverly thought she was beautiful.

She blinked away tears before Waverly caught that they were there in the first place.

"I love you so much," Nicole says as she turns around to give Waverly a tight hug.

"I love you too, pretty girl." She gives Nicole a soft smile, and an ever softer kiss before slapping her butt playfully, and telling Nicole to get in the shower.

She ended up up joining her after that. 

 ❧

Waverly is leaning back against the armrest of her sofa and her hands are running through Nicole's recently washed hair as said woman leans against her front, resting in between her legs. Nicole finds it adorable that she has to slide down a few inches to properly lay her head on her girlfriend's chest.

Waverly grows a smile on her face when she looks at Nicole's face only to find her eyes growing heavy and Nicole trying, but epically, failing to keep them open.

She’d lost, unsurprisingly, to Wynonna in the boxing match. It's not that Waverly didn't believe in her girlfriend, it's that she knows how good her sister is. But, she _had_ proven to be a good match. Wynonna told her she was almost as good as her.

Well, sort of.

Wynonna being Wynonna wasn't just going to compliment her. Her exact words were, “You're almost as good as me... You know, if I was blindfolded.”

Naturally, Nicole punched her in the stomach and they got into another fight, which Wynonna also won. Waverly flinched every time one of them didn't squat down quick enough in the first round, then decided that they were both idiots for boxing in the first place and didn't care after that. She cheered along with Rosita instead.

She puts a hand over Nicole's crossed ones and rubs her thumb back and forth, and the calm silence—with the exception of the running water from the shower Wynonna is taking—starts making her drowsy, too. (Doc and Wynonna had another fight, so she'd gone home with the couple.)

Just before she falls asleep, she feels Nicole turn her cheek and whisper, "Are you asleep?"

Waverly bites back a smile. "Yes."

Nicole lets out a sleep-filled giggle. "Will you tell me a story?"

It wasn't the first time Nicole had asked her this. For the past year, about once a month, Nicole would ask Waverly to tell her a story and Waverly would happily oblige, making a story up on the spot. She was used to it anyway. She was always the one telling the horror stories at bonfires.

"What do you want to hear?" Waverly asks.

"Anything."

Waverly thought about what to tell for a moment before grasping onto an idea and deciding to go along with it.

"Okay," she says, but she decides instead to lower herself more so that Nicole can be more comfortable. Her heart is about to burst when Nicole turns around to lay on her stomach instead, her cheek resting against her chest still, and snuggles in further against her before slipping her hands under her back.

Waverly's smile widens and squeezes Nicole in a hug. She's so fucking cute.

"Your boobs are more comfortable than any pillow, you know that?"

Waverly rolls her eyes. "Just shut up and listen will you?"

Nicole responds by leaving a kiss on her collarbone.

"Once upon a time—"

"Really, Waves?" Nicole interrupts with a lighthearted scoff.

"I'm joking. Don't worry, you'll like this story.”

"What do you mean? You haven't even come up with it, yet."

"Yeah, but you always like my stories , don't you?"

"Well, yeah, but-"

"Point proven then."

"Egotistical little shit," Nicole says.

“Do you want to hear a story or not?" Waverly finally asks.

"Yes."

Waverly smiles and begins.

"They were broken.

They understood that about themselves. However, she didn't know about his pain and he didn't know about hers.

She despised everything about herself. From the freckles on her cheeks, to the body that didn't match those of the women in the magazines.

He was loathed by those who are supposed to love him, and was left alone when all he wanted was to be wanted.

The abhorrence they grew for themselves was tearing them apart more and more every day.

But while standing there—facing each other, but not looking at each other—an atmosphere of comfort arose upon their damaged souls, severed bodies, and shattered hearts.

He looked up and she knew he was staring. He knew that she was dim and enchanting.

She knew he was waiting for her lightless eyes to look into his somber ones.

Gently she raised her eyes to connect with his and all of a sudden, they were able to understand each other.

They loved each other, but understood that to continue they first had to come apart and love themselves for only then would they truly feel what they've always wanted to feel: love, fulfillment, and joy.”

Waverly assumed that Nicole had fallen asleep, so the next words startled her.

"That was beautiful."

"Thank you,” Waverly says with a smile.

"Why was that your story?" Nicole asks.

"Honestly? I don't know. It's just what I came up with."

"We were broken, weren't we?" Nicole asks after a moment.

"No, I don't like that part,” Waverly admits. “They were hurt, not broken. No one can be broken."

"Okay, we were hurt."

"Yeah, I guess we were.”

"And we understood that."

"We did,” Waverly agrees.

"We waited. And now we're happy because I love me and you love you and we can love each other."

"That's right, my love,” Waverly says, understanding why the story was told. “Now go to sleep, weirdo.”

In a second, Nicole was asleep. 

❧

10 minutes later, Nicole is awoken by a badly whispered curse.

She turns her head around to find Wynonna cradling her shoulder. "You okay?" she asks, keeping her voice low as to not wake up the person holding her.

Wynonna throws her a guilty look. "Sorry, I didn't want to wake you. Yeah, to answer your question. I was on my way out, bumped my shoulder."

Nicole's too tired to make fun of her, so she just nods. "Cool necklace," Nicole says, admiring the piece of jewelry Wynonna was currently putting on. She misses the look that crosses Wynonna's eyes. "You wear it everyday, does it mean something to you?" Nicole asks as she carefully peels herself from her girlfriend.

This time she doesn't miss the way Wynonna's shoulders and back stiffen, or the way her hand moves to wrap around one of the charms, as if protecting it from her taking it.

Her innocent question may not be as innocent as she believed. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked that. I didn't mean to overstep," Nicole says.

Only she's not sure if Wynonna heard her because her eyes suddenly look clouded, like ghosts from her past had come back to haunt her.

"Wynonna?" Nicole asks as she gets up from the sofa. "Are you okay?"

The words seem to bring Wynonna back because the ghosts disperse, in their path leaving emotions Nicole has seen in her own eyes more times than she'd care to admit—loss, longing, and fury.

Whatever the necklace was, it had something to do with her and Waverly's parents.

"I'm fine," Wynonna says unconvincingly. "You can ask Waverly about it when she wakes up, okay? She's the one who's good at storytelling," Wynonna says with a forced chuckle, trying to lighten the mood.

"Wynon-"

"She's going to say something like, 'It's not my story to tell,' but just tell her I gave her permission to tell it.” Her voice is kept together and calm, but Nicole can see the tears gathering in her eyes, like lions circling their prey, preparing to attack.

"Wynonna, let me give you a ride, or at least let me call--"

"I said I'm _fine_ ," Wynonna snaps before leaving the home.

❧

Waverly wakes up feeling the beginnings of a crick in her neck, and she's confused when she doesn't feel a weight on top of her.

"Nicole?" She asks groggily.

"In the kitchen," Nicole says.

Waverly checks the time—almost 1:30—before walking into the kitchen to find Nicole eating a bowl of Capt'n Crunch.

"That's not lunch, Nicky."

"Oh, hush," she says lightheartedly, but Waverly can hear something else in her voice, something she can't pinpoint. And her eyes look... _curious_.

"Are you okay?" Waverly asks, sitting across her girlfriend on the table.

"Wow, you're good,” Nicole says only a little astonished. She’s trying to figure out a way to ask Waverly what she’s about to ask.

Waverly raises an eyebrow, easily catching her stalling.

"I'm okay," Nicole assures. "It's just that…how come you've never told me about your parents?" She doesn't meet Waverly's eyes when the words come out, instead they linger on the box of granola cups behind the brunette.

Waverly takes in a deep breath before letting out a long sigh as she leans back against the chair and crosses her arms. "So we're having _that_ talk.”

“We don't have to if you don't want,” Nicole rushes out, knowing full well what crossed arms mean from a psychology class she took at NYU.

"It's okay,” Waverly says after a long moment. “You have a right to know about my past.”

Nicole nods, signalling for her to continue.

“I don't know why I hadn’t told you, to answer your question. I guess it's just _hard_ to go back, you know?"

Nicole gives her a sad smile, "I know."

And she did.

Her own parents were killed in a car accident when she was 4. She'd been the only survivor—only came out with a deep gash on her head that required stitches, and a few bruises. Her dad died on impact, but her mom landed in a coma and was in the hospital for a week before passing away.

The driver, 21-year-old Noah Parker, was drunk and spent 15 years of his life in state prison (without parole which Nicole was glad to find out). He was released just last year and it took everything in Nicole not to track him down when she found out.

Anyway, the cop who'd removed her from the car, Malik (she doesn't remember his last name), checked on her a few times after the crash, even after _weeks._ It was strange, she knew that now, but she'd found out later that Malik had the same thing happen to him when he was young and he felt a need to make sure she was okay. He's the reason she became a cop.

Then, her grandpa passed away 5 years later. And Willow had died of a heart attack two and a half years ago. It was always difficult to think about them—all of them, her family— _gone_.

She was the last Haught.

"You miss her, don't you?" Waverly asks knowing exactly who Nicole is thinking about.

"I do,” Nicole says. “She raised me, you know? She was, _is_ special. Always will be." There are unshed tears in her eyes that disappear when she blinks. "I'm sorry, we're talking about you right now."

"Don't apologize, pretty girl." She raised Nicole's hand to her lips and kissed her knuckles. "But, if you want to know, maybe you should ask Wynonna. It's my story too, but I don't know. I've always felt it was hers to tell."

Nicole gave her a soft smile. "She told me that she gives you permission to tell me."

"You talked about it with her?" Waverly asks in shock, understanding now why the topic came up in the first place.

"She didn't say anything,” Nicole says. “I complimented her necklace and she got this look in her eyes. A look that I see in the mirror when I think about my own parents. It was pretty obvious, and when I asked her if she was okay, she just said to ask you when you woke up."

Waverly nodded, thinking about her sister. "Remind me to call her after this, yeah?"

Nicole nodded and squeezed her hand as Waverly dove into their story. First, she told her about when her mom left, and then she told her about what happened the night of November 13, 2006.

❧

Waverly's dad scared her.

He never did anything. Never laid a hand on them, never yelled, or reprimanded. Ever since her mom went away, he just stopped caring. He pretended that his daughters didn't exist, that he was a bachelor in the worst bachelor pad ever. Sometimes she wished he would scream at her or ground her like a normal parent. Anything would be better than being ignored.

She knew her dad was sad. So she tried not to let it get to her when she was at school, and it worked...usually. But at home, when she her eyes would land upon his slumped figure on the couch, passed out, maybe even dead, she couldn't bury down any feeling she had towards him—usually anger, sometimes disappointment, but always a sad longing.

She didn't know why, but she could still feel love in her heart for him, even if he had no room for love in his. She had enough for both of them.

He lived out his days drinking beer and other things. (She didn't know what the other drinks were called, just that they were bad.)

He scared her because she could feel his distance. She could feel him slowly falling into something that she was too young too to understand.

Here's what she could tell: her dad had lost his grip on reality when he lost his wife, and that was one thing. But, now something something felt weird. It was like he was losing a grip on _himself_.

But today was different, even more so.

Today everything felt _off_. When she woke up to go to school this morning, she felt a shift in the atmosphere around her. Something had changed, but she didn't know what it was. She was only 10 for God's sake.

But, Wynonna... she would know.

So she had gotten out of bed to go to her older sister's room, but only found an empty bed. It wasn't made, so she walked over to the mess and felt the sheets.

 _Cold_.

Wynonna hadn't gotten home last night.

She wasn't surprised. Her sister was 16. She had a life. But still, when she told her friends at school that her sister sometimes wasn’t home or that she would sometimes come home drunk, they said that their older sisters never did that. And they all looked at weird and it hurt her. They avoided her now.

She was starting to think that there was something wrong her. Is that why mama left? It made sense. It's why Wynonna wasn't around too much and why her daddy didn't pay attention to her. It's because there was something wrong her that people went away.

But she didn't care about what those mean girls had to say, anyway. When Wynonna was around, she was the greatest big sister. She hugged her when daddy started talking to himself and it scared her. She'd whisper stories that she remembered her mama had read to her when she was younger. Her favorite thing Nonna did was when she'd put her head on her lap and play with her hair. It was always calmed her down.

Now, she's walking home and the closer she gets she can't help but think that something bad's going to happen. She can feel it in her gut, or at least she thinks she used that expression right. She just hopes that Wynonna's home.

Waverly's always been the type of girl who dreams too much. At any chance she gets, even when she's not supposed to—like in class, or when someone's talking to her—she's imagining different worlds in her big mind, making up stories of herself fighting dragons, or building a home in the sky with Wynonna.

Her teacher is nice, though. Told her to write down whatever she imagined, to make a story out of it. It was her favorite thing to do now.

And if she wasn't building worlds, she was losing herself in other imaginary ones. She had no books at home because her daddy never bought them for her, but her teacher let her borrow books from her class and take them home or she'd check them out from the school library. Her favorite books were the Harry Potter ones. She was on the sixth one, but the third was her favorite so far.

As she walks home, she imagines that her mom is there. And their home is vast and clean and her daddy greets her with a hug before her mom kisses her on the nose just like she used to do. And they ask her how school went before Wynonna arrives. And they give her the same treatment. And then, her and Wynonna sit down and write a story, just like they do now. Not in the safe haven of her room, but in the living room where there are large windows and natural light is let in instead of her father having the blinds down all of the time.

She feels happy as she walks home, but that feeling comes back to her when she pulls open the squeaky spring door. She peeks her head in as if searching for a zombie that's ready to attack, only to find what she always finds—her dad sitting it front of the T.V., sightless staring into the darkness of the screen. Maybe he imagines something on the screen, maybe he's like her.

She steps in, practically pounding on the floor and slams the door behind her. She looks at her dad— _nothing_.

She walks to her room with shoulders slumped, partly because her backpack is filled with the Harry Potter book, a Goosebumps book, and _the Austere Academy_ , but mainly because she misses her father achingly so.

Before she walks into her bedroom, she goes to Wynonna's to see if her sister is home. Her heart soars when she sees her on the floor, looking up at the ceiling. Her sister was weird, she always preferred the floor over the bed and it always made her giggle. Which is what she did now.

Wynonna snaps her head up at the sound. "Hey, baby girl," she says with a smile. "How was school?"

Waverly just shrugs and it breaks Wynonna's heart. Waverly deserves all of the happiness in the world.

"Are you hungry?"

Waverly nods her head eagerly. "Can you make me a grilled-cheese sandwich?"

Wynonna throws her head back and groans dramatically, "That sounds delicious. How is that you always choose the right meal?" She throws her sister a wink before making her way to the kitchen. Waverly throws her a wide grin, and a weak wink back. But her smile falters, just a little, when she she spots the empty beer can under her bed.

At least it was only one.

But, then she spots another by the corner of the bed, just beside one of the legs.

At least Wynonna wasn't drunk. She kept in mind that Wynonna wasn't her father.

Wynonna cared for her, helped her with her homework, made her food, bought her clothes. With what money, she wasn't sure, but she always seemed to have some. And sometimes she would see her pay the bills, too—whatever that meant—because her dad didn't.

She walks into her room, always well-kept (she'd learned how to use a vacuum last year) and shrugs off her heavy backpack before taking out _The Half-Blood Prince_. She walks to the kitchen where Wynonna is sliding a sandwich onto her plate and sits on the table. Wynonna kisses her head when she hands her the plate and she thinks that maybe the bad feeling in her stomach was just her imagination. 

❧

By 8 o’clock, Waverly's finished her homework and she's finishing up the last few pages of Harry Potter. In the other room, Wynonna's helping herself to another beer. ( _No need to be cautious, no need to worry about running out, and no need to purchase a fake ID when your dad's an dead-beat alcoholic!_ )

Only neither of the girls' relaxing last long when they hear their father pounding his way from the bottom of the stairs, to the top, through the hallway to his room, just like Waverly when she entered the house. Waverly peeks out her head only to see Wynonna is looking out herself, and her older sister gives her a nod of reassurance. _Everything's okay_ , she whispers.

But something is off.

Her daddy's never stomped anywhere. He stumbles and falls, but never walks like a giant among Earth.

She guesses that Wynonna can see the fear in her eyes because next thing she knows Wynonna's holding her hand and leading her to her room.

"It's okay, Waves," she instantly soothes. "He's probably just looking for more booze."

Waverly nods and sits on her sister's bed, going into position—head in lap while a hand runs through her hair in a manner that slows down her heart.

20 minutes later, Waverly's awaken by a frantic Wynonna shaking her shoulder. The first thing her eyes spot is the gun in her sister's hand— _Peacemaker_. "Baby girl, don't be scared, okay? I just—we have to go downstairs. _Now._ ”

Waverly trusts Wynonna with everything in her, so she obliges without any questions.

The sisters make their way out of the room and Waverly’s eyes furrow when she sees liquid on the floors. “Nonna, what is that?”

Wynonna lets out a shaky breath. “It’s gasoline.”

Waverly’s confusion isn't appeased, but she decides to remain quiet, not wanting to hear Wynonna’s shaky breath again.

When they get to the living room, Waverly’s eyes widen.

Her dad is kneeling on the floor, every inch of him trembling, and he holds a lit match in his hands, terribly close to the gasoline. Her heart speeds up when she connect the dots.

“Daddy?” Waverly asks, her voice shaky. Her heart stops when she notices that her dad's hair is soaking wet.

“Dad, what the _fuck_?” Wynonna asks, her voice cracking in the last word. (When she stepped out into the hallway before waking Waverly, the first thing she did after seeing the gasoline on the floor, was go to her fathers bedroom and get Peacemaker. She didn't know why, but it was the first thought she had.)

Peacemaker’s in her hand, but Waverly still doesn't understand what it's for. “Why would you do this dad? Why the _fuck_ would you do this?"

"I thought you two would be asleep," Daddy says. He's not sober, still madly drunk, but it's the most sober he's been in years.

"It's 8:30! Waverly's bedtime is at 9:30! If you were here, you'd know that!"

"I am here!" Her dad yelled.

"No dad, if you were _here_!" Wynonna lets out a dry sob because what she understands, what Waverly does not, is that her father is going to drop that match. There is no convincing him and when the time comes, well… hopefully it won't come to that.

(But it will).

There's no way to knock the match out of his hand without setting the whole place on fire. She could wait until the fire fades away, but she can hear the desperate tone in her father's voice. He won't let it get to that. He may be wasted like no other, but nothing is going to stop him from igniting the place.

"I'm so sorry girls, I hope one day you forgive me."

"We have to get him out!" Waverly screams.

"WE CAN'T!” Wynonna yells back, hoping Waverly understands what she does.

Waverly looks back at her daddy. She really _looks_ at him, and notices that he looks so old, and tired. She has to do something, so she sticks with what she knows.

Words.

"Dad, stop. Nonna and I, we love you. We can be a family again." Waverly sees something she recognizes—hesitance. She takes it as a good sign, so she continues.

"You don't have to do this, no—dad _STOP_!" Waverly screams, a high pitched noise that makes the neighbors outside their windows.

But it's too late.

The match hits the floor in what seems like slow motion and the flames ignite right away, great and vast and hungry, ready to consume everything that crosses its path—including her daddy. And as the fire eats away at the floor and at the bottom of couch he alway sits in, his scream is the scariest thing she's ever heard.

His hands are clenched so tightly that blood falls out of the open spaces of his fist, he’s on his knees and looking up with wide eyes, and an open, terrified scream that knows no limit tears through the sisters, making their blood run cold.

Waverly's eyes widen and her pulse quickens, her heart thudding like a rock rattling in a box.

"Waverly, close your eyes,” Wynonna screams over her father, who's consumed by flames, as rivers pool out of her eyes.

But Waverly doesn't listen. Ironically, in a place that's burning her skin, she's frozen, with wide eyes and quick pulse, but a heart—which was beating wildly only seconds ago—that seems to have forgotten how to beat.

Wynonna takes in a deep breath, one that makes her chest rise like the flames around them. “I can't leave you like this, dad. I'm sorry.”

And Wynonna shoots her daddy.

The shot that rang through air pulls her out of her frozen state and she hears Wynonna's next words perfectly clear.

"We have to get out now!"

Waverly grabs Wynonna's hand without hesitation after hearing the urgency in her regularly calm sister and they're almost out the door when she realizes that she doesn't see something on Wynonna. Her necklace.

She lets go.

In between the chaos, Wynonna doesn't notice. But then Wynonna gets fresh air into her lungs and her sister's name comes out in a bloodcurdling scream.

She’s about to run back in, but a neighbor holds her back as his husband runs into the home. And now both are screaming for loved ones as they hold onto each other for dear life, Peacemaker hidden in Wynonna's jacket.

Meanwhile, Waverly's halfway up the stairs and a part of the ceiling crashes down, missing her head by a hair. She makes her way to Wynonna's room where she’s praying is where her sister left the necklace. Oxygen is just barely making its way through her nose and her throat is burning, so she grabs a t-shirt lying on the floor and holds it up to her nose. She saw it in a movie once.

She finds Wynonna's necklace hiding behind a alarm clock that had a collected a layer or two of dust. Wynonna was never one to be clean. The thought made her chuckle and the chuckle made tears gather in her eyes because she was having trouble breathing and she needed to cough so bad and _what had she done_? All for a necklace?

But that wasn't it.

It was for Wynonna.

Because Wynonna wasn't always there, but Wynonna was always _there_. Not like her dad. If it weren't for her older sister, she would be lost, an orphan with a dad. Wynonna loves her with everything in her, anyone could see that. And this necklace was _more_ than special to her because their mama made it.

She remembered when Wynonna told her the story. Wynonna was 6, Waverly a month away from being born, and she kept begging and bothering her mama for jewelry. She found the charms around the house, random old things her mama had had for years, and put them together as a necklace for her.

It was the weirdest piece of jewelry Waverly had ever seen, but it was the only piece Wynonna had left of their mom. She would be devastated if she lost it, even more so because of their dad. Wynonna didn't deserve to feel that pain and this was the very least she could do for her.

But, she looked out the door and it looked like there was fire everywhere. There were shadows of the flames on the wall across from her and they looked hungrier than earlier, and now they were going to eat her too, weren't then?

How was she going to get out?

Instead of freaking out, she did what she always did. She imagined.

She imagined that an angel would fly in through the front door and blow out ice cold water from its mouth, destroying the monstrous flames. It would fly into Wynonna's room, knowing that she was in here, and it would pick her up and it would fly her right back out into her sister's arms. And the best part is that Nonna would be happy because she saved her necklace.

She moves back into the corner between Wynonna's bed and the nightstand she pushed aside and curls herself in a ball, the smallest she could manage—she pretended to be a rollie pollie, like someone had just poked her, and she was just trying to protect herself.

Out of nowhere, or so it seems, a man she's seen before but can't seem to recognize right now, runs into the room, the flames threatening to catch him in a play of tag he never volunteered to join, and picks her up after she's the first thing his eyes land on.

He's coughing madly and he picks up a shirt at random and holds it up to his nose before running down the stairs, though Waverly has no idea how because everything seems consumed by flames. Her skin is hot, her lungs are burning, and every step the man seems to leave collapses to the floor and he fastens his pace before the whole staircase collapses.

Waverly lets out a squeal when she hears something slam on the floor, but she doesn't see what because her head is buried in her angel's chest. She's so lost in her thoughts, trying desperately to escape reality, but she's snapped back to hell, literally, when she hears a window break.

She looks up, turning her head towards the door only to see it blocked by what she assumes made the loud noise. She hears something crack above her and she looks up, her angel looking up too, and they both share a knowing, horrified look.

The whole house is about to topple on top of them and they only have less than 5 seconds to get out of the house. (They really have a few minutes, but in this fast-pace setting, hours are minutes, and minutes are seconds.)

The man takes off the jacket he is wearing and puts her down, putting the jacket on her—it covers just about everything but her shins. He carries her through the window and puts her down as carefully as he can. Thankfully, the window isn't that high up from the light snow-covered grass.

She breathes in the crisp air deeply, never more thankful for fresh air, but it doesn't do anything to lessen the burn in her lungs.

Behind her, she hears her angel scream out in pain, but she doesn't know why, until she turns around to face him. When he steps out, she sees that he's got cuts from the glass and the back of his legs are burned. Her eyes widen at the image and she runs towards the front of the house where people are gathered and firefighters have just arrived to the scene—it really had been only a few minutes—to call someone for help.

She spots Wynonna sobbing uncontrollably into the arms of another man she's seen before, but is unable to place, but before she can reach her, she falls down on her knees coughing and wheezing for air, her throat and chest burning as the adrenaline starts to wear off.

She's picked up by a firefighter who throws some weird mask on her face and though her instinct is to take it off, she finds that she's able to breath better. She points at the side of the house, directing them to the man who saved her, and before they run off she finds that she's suddenly really tired. She's sitting behind an ambulance when Wynonna runs up to her.

She wants to feel happy, but she can't seem to feel anything.

But then, Wynonna's arms wrap around her and the safety she feels is overwhelming enough to have the emotions flood back to her and she cries into her sister's chest, Wynonna crying back to her just as much.

After 15 minutes, of heartbreaking cries (no one bothered to disturb them), they finally calm down, though the emotions still there nonetheless. Wynonna pulls back and hastily says, “Oh god, I didn't even bother to ask if were okay! Are you okay?” She grabs her head and checks it before Waverly tells her she is.

“Waves, baby girl, I'm so sorry for what happened,” she looks around her and lowers her voice, “For what I did.”

“I get it,” Waverly says. “You didn't want him to suffer. I'm not mad, I promise.”

Wynonna nods and sniffles before hugging her sister again.

“I love you, Nonna.”

“I love you too, baby girl, but Waves, why the _hell_ did you let go of my hand?"

Waverly looks down, ashamed. “Are you mad?”

Wynonna doesn't answer right away, because goddamnit she almost lost the person she cares about most in this world, and she did not want to be mad at her. “No, I'm not,”

Waverly looks up in shock, but she opens up her palm to show Wynonna what she'd gone in for. "I thought you might want this.”

"Oh my god, Waverly,” Wynonna says, completely in shock. “This is...this is,” but she has no words for the action. “Thank you,” she simply says. But then her tone gets more firm, “Don't you _ever_ do something like to me again, okay?" She cries out, squeezing her sister hard.

Waverly nods before Sheriff Nedley and woman she's never seen before walk up to them to ask them what happened.

An hour later, they were driven to the municipal offices and were there drinking water from plastic cups and eating chips from a vending machine until their aunt Gus and uncle Curtis picked them up. _You will would be staying with them from now on_ , they said.

'Now on' only lasted two years.

The fire was large and it took a while to put it out. When they took out their dad's burned body, it was completely unrecognizable. They knew how the fire started according to the girl's testimonies, so they didn't bother with an autopsy. They never found out that Wynonna shot their dad, and they never knew about the gun.

The neighbors said nothing about the shot they heard ringing in the air.

❧

"You know I didn't write a another story for 2 years after that? I thought that if my words weren't able to stop my dad, then what good were they?"

"Waverly, it's not—"

"My fault, I know," Waverly cuts off with a small smile. "But for while, I though it was."

"Oh my God, Waverly," Nicole breathes out, not knowing what to say or how to feel. "I'm— _Jesus_ — I'm so sorry you two went through that, I don't even know what to say," she admits.

"That's okay," Waverly says with a soft, sad smile. She no longer cried when she told the story, no longer pitied herself. "I wasn't expecting you to say anything. Just...lie down with me? And hold me.”

Nicole pushes away her bowl, nodding, and leads Waverly to her room by the hand.

❧

The next day, Nicole and Waverly arrive to Shorty’s, the infamous bar Nicole had yet to visit, at the same time Wynonna does in her beloved Harley-Davidson. What Waverly told Nicole is not far from her mind, but she knows that the brunette doesn't want to bring it up again so keeps it to herself, at least for the moment being. Now that she spots Wynonna taking off her helmet, she thinks she should talk to the eldest Earp.

Nicole looks over at Waverly to silently ask for her permission and Waverly understands and gives her a curt nod before she steps into the bar.

“Look, Haught, whatever you're going to say next, I don't want your pity,” Wynonna says when she stops off of her bike and sees Nicole leaning against Waverly's jeep.

“You think I don't know that?” Nicole asks with a raised eyebrow. “I hate pity.”

“Hmm, I knew I liked you,” Wynonna smirks, but it looks a little sad. “How is she?”

“Waverly's fine, but I'm not here to talk about Waverly.”

“Nicole—"

“Wynonna," She interrupts.

Wynonna scoffs. “What do you want me to say?”

“I want to know how you're doing.”

“Why?”

“Because Waves may be my love, but I care about you too. You're my friend Wynonna and I want to make sure that you're okay.”

Wynonna's eyes soften. “I've dealt with it, if that's what you're asking. Went to a therapist and everything. I got my drinking under control, and I'm okay now. I promise. The reason I snapped at you yesterday is because it may not haunt me like it used to, but that doesn't mean I like reliving it.”

Nicole nods, accepting the answer. “Okay.”

“That's it?”

“I'm sorry, did you want my pity?”

Wynonna laughs, a free laugh that makes Nicole smile. Then, she's completely surprised when Wynonna get close to her and wraps her in a tight hug. She doesn't hesitate to hug back.

“Thank you, Nicole.”

The rest of words don't need to be said. Nicole knows that she's thanking her for being her friend, someone who cares abou her and not just her sister, but Wynonna would never say that outloud. Not yet at least.

She pulls herself apart and gives Wynonna a smile before turning around to walk into the bar.

“And Haught?” Wynonna adds. Nicole turns back around.

“What?”

“We hadn't gotten the chance to discuss this, but you make Waverly happy. Like Rosita said, whatever you're doing keep on doing it because I've never seen Waverly look at someone the way she looks at you.”

“You getting soft on me Earp?” Nicole asks with a raised brow, leaning heavily against her right leg.

“You didn't let me finish. You're going away soon,” Wynonna says.

Nicole nods sadly.

“If you hurt her, I won't hesitate to fly over to New York and kick your ass, you hear me? Don't fuck it up,” she says seriously.

“Yes, sir!” Nicole says with a mock salute.

Wynonna rolls her eye. “At ease, soldier. Now come on, let's get you drunk and lets hope you're a tough drunk.”

“Why?” Nicole says with confusion.

“Because despite how sweet Waverly is when she's sober, she can tear you apart when she's had too much to drink.”

“I've been told I'm a cute, soft drunk,” Nicole admits with hesitance.

Wynonna lets out a laugh, “Then you're screwed.”

“Why?” She asks again.

“Just don't take it to heart if she makes you cry?”

Nicole's eyes take in the bar before muterring to herself, “Oh god, what have I gotten myself into?” 

But the thought is long forgotten when she sees Rosita leaning over the bar and kissing her girlfriend on the cheek. _What the hell?..._ The emotion that sparks up in her chest is one that she is not unfamiliar with.

 _Jealousy_.

She pushes it away and walks up next to Waverly, instantly putting her arm around her.

“Oh hey, baby,” Waverly cheerfully says. “I didn't see you walk in.”

“Hey, Nicole,” Rosita says, leaning against the bar with a bright smile.

 _Is her smile prettier than mine?_ Nicole thinks. She puts the thought in the back of her mind and greets her back with a polite smile, hoping it doesn't look too forced.

She failed.

When Rosita turns to give someone a beer, Waverly turns to look at her. “Hey, are you okay?”

“What? Oh yeah,” Nicole lies.

Waverly looks at her with amusement. “Then, why on your eyes on Rosy?” Waverly asks.

_Rosy? I've never heard her call her that!_

“Sorry,” Nicole says sheepishly, moving her eyes to face her girlfriend. “Have you and Rosita always been close?” She asks in her most innocently, curious tone.

Waverly doesn't respond right away and when her eyebrows raise in amusement Nicole knows that she should never become an actress.

“Nicole Haught are you jealous?” Waverly smirks.

“No,” Nicole says unconvincingly. “But, why did she kiss your cheek?”

“She's like my sister, Nicky. She kisses my cheek when I compliment her or do something for for,” she chuckles.

“You complimented her? On _what_?” Nicole asks suspiciously. “Her smile, ha? She's got a damn good smile.” She says looking over at Rosita again.

Waverly laughs and her smirk turns into a a warm, soft smile.

“I love you, you know that?” Waverly asks as she ties her hands behind Nicole's neck.

All the jealousy Nicole felt at the moment washed away by the way her girlfriend looked at her.

“I do, but did you know that I love you more?” She says, trying to get back to her non-idiotic side.

“We’re so not playing this game,” Waverly says with narrowed eyes.

“Fine, then I win,” Nicole shrugs.

Waverly throws her a glare. “Fuck you.”

“I don't think we should do anything in public.”

Waverly groans. “Get away from me,” She says while pulling herself apart. But Nicole grabs her arms and pulls her close to her to leave a long, sweet kiss on her lips. It would've lasted longer, but a man's voice echoing throughout the room interrupted them.

“So this is your infamous girlfriend,” says a guy with light brown hair and tattoos on his arms. "She's hot, I'll give you that."

Nicole narrows her eyes. Is she talking about her?

"Not now, Champ," Waverly says with an eye roll.

Nicole's eyes narrow when she realizes who the man is. "You're Champ," she says in monotone voice, well as monotone as a voice can get with an underlining of fury.

Nicole's fury is tamed when she feels a hand on her thigh. "It's not worth it, baby,” Waverly whispers.

"Come on now, Waves," Champ says. "Whatever you have to say, say it straight to my face."

Waverly flinches. "Don't call me that."

He looks hurt, like a kicked puppy. "Waves, why not?"

She flinches again. “She said don't call her that,” Nicole steps in.

"Yeah, just don't Champ, okay?" Waverly says in what Nicole assumes is her most polite tone.

Before he can say anything else, Rostita steps in. "I'm sorry to do this to you Champ, but I'm going to need you to leave the bar."

"What?" Champ says in shock. "I didn't do anything."

" _Haven't done_ anything," Rosita corrects. "Whenever Waverly's around, you always seem to stir up some kind of trouble and with her girlfriend here, who knows what kind of shit you'll pull."

Astonishment and shock run through his eyes until it settles into anger. "You can't kick me out."

"Actually," Nicole says, biting her cheek to contain her smirk as to not hurt the man-boy's pride any more, "She has the right to refuse service to anyone."

"And today, you are 'anyone'," Rosita says with a false apologetic look, but he doesn't know that.

Champ glares at her before making his way out of the bar.

"Jesus,” Wynonna says as she comes back to wherever she had disappeared to. “You leave for a minute and you miss all the drama." She settles down on next to Nicole, her eyes on Champ who looks quite angry.

"It was just Champ being Champ. You missed nothing," Waverly says before taking a swig of her drink. She kisses Nicole's cheek and thanks her for sticking up for her.

Later that night, the only one who got drunk was Wynonna and when the couple got back to Waverly's at 2 am they both thought that they were too young to be so tired, but they went to bed anyway and realized that they weren't tired enough to not make love.

And by the time they both feel exhaustion winning, Nicole lies Waverly down, and she remembers something Waverly told her about her mom, so she tucks her and Waverly in tightly, letting the woman know that she’s safe, she kisses her on the nose, and whispers goodnight.

When Waverly recognizes the action, 2 tears fall out of her eyes and Nicole makes sure to catch them.

❧

Once again, the little misfit family raided Doc and Wynonna's home—or rather backyard—for they were gathered around a stone bonfire pit. There were 4 lawn chairs around it which were occupied by Doc, Dolls, Wynonna, and Rosita, and the rest of the space was the clean, green grass that made you want to roll in it. Afraid of bugs, however, Nicole and Waverly sat upon a blanket instead.

The day has been scorching hot, but night was the coolest of the summer, so far at least, and there was enough of a cool breeze to enjoy being around a fire that burned your face if the flames were facing you and made your clothes smell burnt.

The sky is painted with stars and opportunities, the clouds clear and ominous, and the moon is full and bright. This night, Waverly believes, is magnificent. She's surrounded by the people who love her through and through, have supported her crazy dreams, and love her unconditionally. It's during moments like these when she wonder how she ever got so lucky.

Waverly is beside Nicole, their arms entangled, and legs touching, enjoying each other's presence yet both involved in separate conversations. Nicole, Rosita, and Wynonna are exchanging stories about funny or strange events that have occurred in their jobs, former or present.

Rosita is currently sharing one where a couple weeks ago a tap had accidentally exploded resulting in a soaked shirt and a woman who looked a couple years older stood at the entrance and said, "I didn't know Shorty's had wet t-shirt competitions."

"That is the worst pickup line I've ever heard," Nicole says with a laugh.

"I think I have both of you beat in terrible pick up lines," Wynonna says taking a swig of her beer. " _I lost my teddy bear, will you sleep with me_?"

Nicole gasps. "No fucking way someone said that to you."

"I actually just threw up in my mouth a little," Rosita says with a fake gag. "What'd you do?"

"What do you think?"

"You punched him didn't you?" Nicole deadpans.

Wynonna smirks. "I bitch-slapped him. Told him it was from all the women around the world for such a douchey comment."

"Amen," Rosita and Nicole say, high fiving Wynonna.

On the left side of the equator that was the open space between the couple's legs, Waverly, Doc, and Dolls are conversing about tattoos—Waverly wants the deathly hollows on her forearm—when everyone sees Jeremy finally arriving.

"Sorry I'm late," he says. "There was this whole deal with my dog, I accidentally left the front door open and-"

"Jeremy," Wynonna interrupts. "Did you bring the stuff or not?"

"Ahh, right. The stuff," he chuckles nervously. "I left it—"

"If you say at home, I swear I'll never let you back into my home ever again."

"The car…actually. I'll be back," he turns around swiftly.

Dolls and Rosita get up, per Wynonna's direction, to go inside and get the other things they needed.

All 3 come back out at the same time and Jeremy passes out the little packets of…

"Hershey's Chocolate. My favorite," Waverly moans. Nicole throws an arms around her with a smile. "Pass the crackers and marshmallows you slow dipshits."

"Wow, you really like s'mores don't you, babe?" Nicole teases.

"No one messes with Waverly's s'mores," Doc says remembering the time he said _another one_? (Not because she kept eating them, but because of how incredibly sweet they are. One was more than enough for him.) It earned him a glare he was not willing to become victim to again.

"Okay," Jeremy says, sticking a marshmallow to a stick after passing one to Waverly. "You gonna tell us a scary story, Waves?" He looks like a little kid, excited to hear his bedtime story and it warms Waverly's heart.

"Of course!" She says. She takes a moment to put her marshmallow in the fire and has to blow out her on-fire marshmallow before sliding it on a graham cracker. "This is a good one,” she finally says.

"Yeah, I loved this story," Nicole says with excitement.

"You've heard it already?" Jeremy asks in shock, clearly offended.

"Don't be so dramatic. I wrote it yesterday and I asked her if she liked it for the bonfire," Waverly says.

"Why didn't you read it to me first?" Jeremy asks.

"Because when I'm alone with you, you don't–"

"STOP!" Wynonna yells. "Don't finish that sentence."

Waverly smirks, "You're right. It's too dirty."

Wynonna groans. Nicole reddens.

"Okay, scary story time," Waverly says after laughing and taking out her phone where the story was.

"'The word beautiful was inadequate. But I'm not talking about physical beauty. Inside was something we all needed. She held this delicate innocence and wonder inside of her heart that us feel whole. She'd walk into a room and there'd be a brightness that wasn't there before.

Her heart, her mind, they could make you feel like you were worth something. Her loving eyes, her gentle touch, her kind words. These things made us feel like galaxies. She made our flaws seem beautiful and perfect, she made our insecurities non-existent, she made our hearts feel light as feathers and filled them with child-like joy.

She, however, didn't realize this. When she'd walk into a room and have all sets of eyes on her, she would be confused as to why people would pay so much attention to her.

So one day, I leaned in and whispered, "Don't tell me you haven't noticed the way they watch you, whisper when you appear. They think you're going to save them."

To say I was perplexed with what happened next would be an understatement.

She ran. Right out of the room as if someone had yelled fire!

But before she could turn her head fully around to face the exit of the party, I caught fear and disappointment swirling around her eyes like tornadoes. I didn't know what she those emotions were for until her name was in the headlines of the local paper the next morning.

There were voices in her head.

Voices that told her what to do when the moon was alive and the stars glittered in the dark sky.

I don't know what the hell these voices would tell her that they'd do to her. But there's two reasons she would do such heinous things. Number one, these voices of hers, if they weren't hers, threatened to kill her, or her family, or both. Or, and I don't like saying this one, she enjoyed the acts.

Maybe there was a part of her that enjoyed the secrecy, and the darkness. Maybe she actually looked forward to them when the sun set and the autumn-like colors morphed into darkness. Maybe, that's the part that scared her the most.

And as much as I don't want to believe it, something tells me it was the latter. Although, now that she's dead, it was probably both...but more of the latter.

You see, the reason I think this is that when I told her that everyone seemed to look up to her, it was too much too bear. The secrets she hid well within her didn't make her worthy of praise.

She was right, by the way, it didn't. She was beautiful, all the things I said in the beginning are true, but finding out what she did…it sickens me to know that I ever knew her.

Anyway, they found her at the graveyard, I know, how cliché.

She was bare naked, I heard from my buddy that it was a shame because she was hot. I sound disrespectful, but I don't give a damn because she doesn't deserve an ounce of, I don't care how dead she is.

It makes no goddamn sense how she died, though. Makes me think the voices in her head were real. Her clothes were nowhere in sight, as if she'd walked straight out of the shower to the graveyard, not even a robe.

She looked like she'd just fallen asleep. There was no blood on her, no cuts or wounds, no bruises or sign of a struggle. Her heart had just stopped. It wasn't a heart attack either, there was no sign of that.

My assumption is that she had another job to do, a job the voices had given her, and she had refused after realizing that everyone looked at her with a wonder she wasn't worthy of, and maybe the things that spoke to her killed her.

Her first kill was unexpected, well obviously, but this is a small town, we don't get murders, so it was even more unexpected. We get drunk fights at the local bar and fast drivers.

Jessie Strongfield.

She was only a kid, 13 or 14-years-old, I don't remember too well. She was found under a bridge, I won't get too into it, but I'll tell you this. Her arms and legs were gone. Clean cuts. Happened after she'd been killed, though. They still don't know how she actually died.

Then there was Roy Li, Amy Pillar, Henry Warrior, Carl Roberts, Maya Rodriguez, and 15 more victims. All different kills, no one like the other. I didn't even know there were that many ways to kill...or hurt a person, I should say.

There were different features in all of them, Amy had cuts all over her body, Carl had missing teeth, Maya had lost a few fingers. But there was always one similar thing.

They'd all died before some horrible action was done to them. Like Amelia Heart, our infamous killer, their hearts had just _stopped_.

The worst part about all of this? Her father knew. He knew what she was up to, saw her leave when the sky turned black, but he ignored it. He knew that she talked to herself, that sometimes she came back with bloody clothes, and what did the bastard do? _Nothing_.

He'd never follow her. But when the he'd turn on the news while having his breakfast of 2 pieces of toast with butter and jelly, some scrambled eggs, and orange juice– I know because I'd been 'round to his for breakfast a handful of times, and he'd always have the same thing– and see the newest coverage on yet another death, he knew. He's a smart man, he connected the dots, the ones as big and bright as a red light at an intersection—’

A phone rings.”

And in real life, a phone rings. Jeremy, who's sitting on the grass, lets out a squeal and moves closer towards Dolls.

"Sorry," Nicole says with a half guilty, half amused look. She looks down at her phone and her eyes widen before she scrambles up hastily. "I have to take this. Continue the story!" She yells over her shoulder as she makes her way into the house.

Waverly looks at her with confusion, but knows that Nicole will tell her what's going on later.

"Okay, continue!" Rosita says, craving more, rolling her eyes when Jeremy leans back against Doll's legs.

Dolls rolls his eyes too, but lets Jeremy sit.

Waverly smiles at them. She knew that Dolls was straight, but they'd be so adorable together.

"Where was I?" Waverly asks herself as her eyes search for the last line she read. “Right."

"A phone rings, interrupting Daniel’s story to his best buddy, an out-of-towner who hadn’t heard last month’s biggest story. 'I'm sorry, man. I've got to answer this, it's Jacob.'

'If it isn't my baby brother,' David says when he steps out of the coffee shop.

'Hey, dickhead,' Jacob says with a chuckle.

'What's up, Jay?"

'Nothing much. Just came down to surprise you only to find that you're not home.'

'You're here, right now?' David asks with open excitement. He hadn't seen his brother in a year ever since he'd moved to Los Angeles, and missed him greatly.

'I am, so drop what you're doing and get your ass down here!’

'Okay. I'll see you in 15,' he hangs up before asking any questions.

20 minutes later, he arrives home, but he's confused when he doesn't see his brother's pick-up in his driveway.

'What the hell?' He looks around the neighborhood to see if his brother parked somewhere else, but comes up with nothing. He takes out his phone from his pocket to call his brother only to find that it's not in his recent calls.

 _What the fuck?_ He thinks.He finds Jacob's name in his contacts and calls him asking him where he is.

'What are you talking about?' Jacob asks with confusion. 'I'm at home.'

'What are you talking about? You just called me, telling me you were here.'

'David, I don't have time for one of your pranks right now. I'm about to pitch to _Disney_ , for God's sake! I told you yesterday.'

He did. Jacob had told him yesterday. 'But if you didn't call, then who did?'

'I was probably some kids from the town pulling a prank or something. Look, I've got to go, I'll call you later. Wish me luck!'

Before David can answer, Jacob hangs up.

He looks towards his home while trying to believe Jacob, but he couldn't find himself to do so. Whoever the hell had called him, it had sounded exactly like Jacob. He shakes it off and walks into his home.

The second he steps in, everything goes black.

He wakes up 10 minutes later on the couch staring at someone he couldn't possibly be staring at.

 _Amelia_.

It's Amelia, but it's not. Those eyes aren't her eyes. There's no light making him feel like he matters, no wonder or innocence...just dead, lifeless eyes.

'A-amelia?' he stutters. His heart is pounding hard in his chest and everything in him is screaming run, but it's like his feet are nailed to floor and not one part of him is even trying to move. Not even a small twitch came from him.

Amelia looks at him with a deadly smirk. "I heard you saying things that weren't too nice of you, David. I always liked you and I have to say that I'm a bit disappointed. The voices that were in my head, they're going enter yours now, okay? They think you're the perfect candidate. Isn't that exciting!” She says with high pitched giggle.

"I promise, it seems scary, but you grow to like it. You look forward to it actually. You won't have to kill anyone, they'll do it for you. You just have to cut them up for their own entertainment. It makes them feel things, they say.

But, I'm talking too much, don't you think? Are you ready?"

David blinks.

And he's never regretted such a small, insignificant action before because when his eyes open up again—"

"Guys!" Nicole interrupts, running out of the house. Jeremy screams and jumps up, landing on Dolls' lap. Rosita snorts and Xavier pushes him off.

"Fuckin' A, Haught. You scared the shit out of us!" Wynonna says.

"Sorry! We're you in the part when David opens his eyes and sees—"

"Hey!" Jeremy yells. "Spoiler alert!"

"Oh sorry, sorry. Guess what?" She repeats.

"It better be good enough to have interrupted the story," Rosita says lightheartedly.

Nicole nods excitedly, looking like a child who's just been asked if he wants to go get some ice cream. "I've got amazing news," she says, looking straight at Waverly.

"What is it, babe?" Waverly asks, excitement bubbling up in her chest, not knowing what to expect.

"I got accepted into the New York Police Department!"

Everyone cheers and gets up excitedly, but Waverly's world freezes.

❧

When Waverly looked at Nicole, a smile would automatically grow on her face. It was as inevitable as a flower growing after it's been watered and exposed to sunlight.

When Nicole would touch her, whether it be their lips connecting, or their shoulders bumping into each other, she'd send shivers up her spine, gooseflesh rising on her skin providing physical evidence of what the redhead did to her.

When she would hear her voice, the sound was like a bow sliding up and down the strings of a violin, the tone sweet and pleasing to her ears, as sweet as Johann Brahms' _Violin Sonata No. 3._

Only hearing those words be spoken from Nicole's lips reminded her that though the tone of the piece was sweet, it was also melancholy.

She briefly wondered if this is how feelings were always going to be with Nicole, just as the song—bittersweet .

Everything was bittersweet. It was _always bittersweet_.

Even though they were together now, eventually Nicole would go back to New York. When Nicole would call her, she'd be glad until she remembered why she was calling in the first place. Because she's not with her.

Because right now Waverly felt excitement and pride bubble up in her chest like opening up a champagne bottle. Working as a New York City police officer had been a dream of hers since she learned how to walk and she was just accepted!

But another side of her thought, how long will she be gone?

How much longer would they need to be apart before they were finally together? _Truly_ together?

Would that even happen? They hadn't even discussed their future. Their only plans and discussions had revolved around this meeting.

How could they, no how could _she_ have been so naive, so forgetful? Nicole wasn't here to stay.

"Waverly?" Nicole asks interrupting the voices in her head.

Waverly blinks and looks around her only to find everyone staring at her with expectant eyes. There's a heaviness in the air, and it's only then that she realizes that her name was said with a pinch of hurt, just enough to make Waverly realize how much of a dick she was being.

She knows that she can't just come out and say, "Congratulations, honey!" with a hug and kiss, making plans to go to dinner. It's too late for that. But just as she's about to get up, she's interrupted once again.

The hidden hurt in Nicole's tone had become exposed, like a paper cut that seems harmless until you pull back your skin to find that it's much deeper than you originally believed. "I thought you would be happy for me."

Waverly's heart dropped to stomach because she is happy for Nicole, but she couldn't the find words to say so. And now Nicole was hurt. Now she was walking back inside with her head bowed, showing Waverly that she was probably hiding her tears.

"Shit," Waverly mutters under her breath. She meets Wynonna's eyes to search for an answer to the unspoken question. She finds it and takes a deep breath before standing up and following the path Nicole just took.

_Go fix things with your girl, dumbass._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone wants to feel bittersweet (see what I did there) with me about Wynonna Earp, I'm Mystificationn on Tumblr!!
> 
> ALSO I MADE THIS YOUTUBE VIDEO CALLED 5 THINGS WYNONNA EARP TAUGHT US WHICH YOU SHOULD WATCH IF YOU WANT
> 
> Here's the link, just pop that shit into your search bar. https://youtu.be/T9Luvid5puo
> 
> Thanks for reading <3


	6. Going the Distance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy reading :-)

Dear Nicole,

You are the love of my life.

Sitting in this uncomfortable chair beside you while you lay in that uncomfortable hospital bed—don't worry, you still look absolutely beautiful—I've never been so sure of anything in my life.

Since I started this letter with a confession, maybe I can tell you a few other truths that will make that smile of yours (the one that speeds up my heart as if it were on steroids) grow on your face.

When I first saw you, it was through your Tumblr avatar. I thought you were the prettiest girl. Your hair was up in a simple bun and you were wearing a very blue sweater that made your red hair pop out like a person in love amongst the heartbroken. You weren't wearing any make up and you just had this simple beauty that took my breath away.

The day we met, we took a nap in Wynonna's guest room and when we woke up we had, what I think, is one of our greatest make out moments in the history of #WayHaught make out moments. Anyway, when you tried to pull off my shirt, I told you to slow down because I didn't want our first time to be in my sister's guest room.

I totally lied.

I so would've made love to you right then and there, but everyone was in the freaking backyard waiting for us!

Okay... I think that's enough truths (for now).

Nicole, pretty girl, I can't wait to kiss you and make love to you again. I can't wait to see more of your simple beauty. I can't wait to see your smile again—I swear it's like sunshine! How do you do it?

(Also, who knew I could miss dimples this much?)

I miss you, my love. I've got to admit that I'm a bit afraid. You're not getting any worse, but, you're not getting any better either...

You and I have been through a lot—this is just another thunderstorm to get through before we see the rainbow again—which is why you have to recover, okay? You've got this. I believe in you.

But, I promise that I'll wait as long as it takes and I'll be here when you wake up.

I will always be with you.

Love, Waverly  
AKA 'fucker'

P.S. The whole gang was here for two days, but they all had to head back to Purgatory to work. Good thing I'm an author, ha? They can't wait to see you, fully awake and giving them snarky comments.

_That's a letter I wrote to Nicole she was, obviously, in hospital. One of 10._

_I've talked a lot about the bullshit we went through, and the hardships—and I won't stop yet, I still have a lot to say—but I wanted to take a break from that and show you a good side of us. Because we are not defined by our problems; we are made of so much more, and you deserve to see that side. The side that's says I'm deeply in love Nicole._

_To put it bluntly, I wanted you to see that Nicole makes me the fucking happiest person on the planet._

❧

  
When Waverly walks into the house, she finds Nicole sitting in the living room with her face hidden in between her hands, crying lightly. The sounds make Waverly want to curl up in the corner and hide under a hundred blankets to avoid her guilt.

"Nicole," Waverly whispers as she walks towards her girlfriend. "Nicole, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean–"

"I'm leaving tomorrow night," Nicole interrupts as she looks up with tear-stained cheeks.

" _What_?" Waverly asks. To say she was shocked would be an understatement. "Don’t be ridiculous. I know I made a mistake, but that doesn't mean you have to leave! We fight and we make up, that's how relationships work."

"I'm not leaving because I'm mad."

"What the hell are you talking about? Then why are you saying you’re gonna leave?" Waverly asks.

  
"They want me to start right away," Nicole says, looking at Waverly's cheek instead. "Monday morning."

Waverly's heart stills. "They want you to start right away,” Waverly says slowly, more so to herself. Nicole nods anyway, her eyes looking at Waverly now, but her mind faraway.

“But, that means that you'd have to leave tomorrow night," Waverly says, her hands beginning to shake lightly.

“I know, but—”

"No, no,” Waverly laughs humorlessly. “That’s funny Nicole, but you can stop with the joke now.”

“Waverly, I’m not joking,” a tear falls down her cheek and that’s all it takes to convince Waverly.

“But, you're supposed to leave _Wednesday night_. I had everything planned for our last day together. We were supposed to have the most perfect day,” Waverly’s voice cracks.

“We can move what you had planned to tomorrow,” Nicole suggests hastily.

“No actually, we can’t,” Waverly snaps. She takes a deep breath to push down her pride and anger when she sees the hurt look on Nicole’s face. “Sorry,” she whispers. “It’s just that basically everything I had planned required reservations.”

“Oh,” Nicole says. “It’s okay, Waves. We don’t have to do anything special. As long as we’re together, it doesn’t matter what we do.”

Waverly only manages a teary-eyed, small smile.

Nicole stands up and walks to Waverly. "Baby, I'm _so_ sorry. I wasn't expecting the call until next week, but they fired an officer and since I was top of my class, they hired me right away. What was I supposed to say?" Nicole asks.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Waverly asks abruptly, her eyes hard, but tears still making their way down her face silently. She could only contain her emotions for so long.

"What? Tell you what?"

"You know what," Waverly says clearly trying hard not raise her voice. "Why didn't you tell me that you'd applied?"

"I figured you knew I would," Nicole with furrowed brows. "I mean, you didn't expect me to come work here did you?" Nicole laughs.

Waverly stays silent.

"Did you?" Nicole repeats, shocked when Waverly doesn’t answer.

''Of course, I didn't!" Waverly snaps. “I know it's your dream to work for the NYPD!"

"Then why aren't you happy for me?" Nicole yells back.

"I am happy!"

"Sure as hell didn't look like it outside," Nicole bites back.

Waverly's not sure what does it, but next thing she knows she's in Nicole arms falling to the floor and crying into her chest. "I'm sorry, Nicole.”

“I know, baby. I know.”

“I _am_ happy for you, and I'm so goddamn proud. But, I just can’t help but think about what's going to happen to us," she admits, her head on Nicole's chest.

"What do you mean?" Nicole says while running her hands through Waverly's hair. "We're going to continue what we're doing. We're going to keep scheduling visits."

"Yes, Nicole, but for how long?"

Nicole doesn't answer for a long minute. She stops running her hand through Waverly's hair and stands them up instead before leading them to a couch and holding her close.

"If I'm being honest, I hadn't thought about that," she admits, all anger gone from her voice.

"Me neither,” Waverly shakes her head. “God, Nicole, how could we be so stupid?"

"We're 21, we're allowed to be stupid," Nicole says.

Waverly laughs softly. "I'm serious. When does it end?" There's slight desperation in her voice that makes her feel needy and embarrassed.

Nicole thinks before letting out a sigh. “I don’t know. But, let’s talk about it later, yeah? Everyone’s waiting for us outside.”

Waverly nods and holds out her hand with a heart that's broken in two.

That night, after they got back to Waverly’s place from the bonfire (everyone let the tension go and continued as if nothing had happened), was spent in each other's arms. Their clothes formed a trail from the door the bedroom. From dark to the early morning while the sun was setting (in another side of the world), they were making love, and sharing kisses—from the nose to the lips to inner thighs—and looking into each other's eyes holding silent conversations.

Even during the moments they were both exhausted and they lay on their sides of the bed, chests heaving as they rest on their backs, their pinkies were crossed or Waverly's foot touched Nicole's ankle. Not once were they not touching knowing that by dark it would be months before they did so again.

Waverly ran her hands through Nicole's hair and told her how smart, tenacious, and stunning she was, and Nicole ran her hands up and down Waverly's back desperately as she kissed her to show her how she felt. They whispered _I love you's_ and screamed each other's names.

It was the greatest night of their lives.

  
❧

  
It's 10 minutes to eleven when Waverly wakes up tangled in between messy sheets and Nicole's arms. She only got four hours of sleep, which is more than she thought she'd get, but Nicole had really tired her out—not that she was complaining. She would never complain about what's practically tantamount to no sleep after the things Nicole did to her, the way she made her feel. But, she had no time to waste. She'd think about last night some other day and there will be _a lot_ of those days now that Nicole was leaving.

Nicole's flight would be leaving in 5 hours (as much as she wants Nicole to stay for longer, she has to get up early for work tomorrow) and she had to take full advantage, plus share her a little bit with Wynonna and their friends.

Just a little bit.

She thinks that it's odd how happy she feels right now, all things considering, but she knows that she's shoving her sadness deep down. That would normally be a bad thing, but it's their last day together (truly together) and it should be filled with ecstasy and smiles. They could deal with any sadness or anger later.

She turns to face Nicole and a smile sneaks it's way onto her face. Has she ever mentioned that her girlfriend is the epitome—no, that her girlfriend _is_ a goddess? Because she is.

She leans in and and starts peppering Nicole's face with kisses to wake her up and she feels butterflies in her stomach when Nicole does so with soft laughter.

"This just might be my favorite way to be woken up," Nicole says with closed eyes.

" _Might_?" Waverly asks.

"Yup, _might_. My actual favorite way is..." Nicole leans in and whispers in Waverly's ears whose eyes widen in response.

"Wow. I'll keep that in mind, Haught," Waverly says in a husky tone. "My favorite way to wake you up was by smacking you with a pillow."

Nicole rolls her eyes. "Why am I not surprised?"

Waverly gives her a grin. (Nicole's always loved the way her eyes crinkle in the corners when she smiles.) "Want to take a bath?" Waverly asks when she realizes that she smells like sex and sweat.

"That sounds amazing."

A few minutes later the couple sit across each other in the tub—which is wide (and long) enough to fit them both side by side, the edges of their thighs touching—and Waverly's wearing a pout on her face while Nicole wears a smirk.

"I don't know why you're surprised," Waverly says.

"That's the thing, Waves. I'm not. In fact, I was fully expecting it," Nicole says.

"But?"

"But that doesn't make it any less funny," Nicole laughs.

Waverly crosses her arms. "You know what, bubbles are an essential part of baths. If you have a problem with it, you are more than welcome to get out."

Nicole stares at her for a moment. "Alright," Nicole says as she hoists herself up using the sides of the tub.

"Stay where you are, asshole," Waverly glares.

Nicole laughs again. "I'm kidding, baby." She gets close to Waverly and spread her legs.

"Nicole, _sweetie pie_ , I'm really tired, and quite honestly a little sore and—oh."

Nicole had just sat herself in between her legs with her back against her chest and her head on Wavlery's shoulder.

"I don't want to have sex right now," Nicole says.

"You don't." The phrase comes out as more of a statement than a question.

Nicole shakes her head and kisses Waverly's neck. "Why do you sound so surprised?"

"No reason," Waverly shrugs.

Nicole gives her a look, and Waverly lets out a sigh.

"When we first started dating, I couldn’t help but compare you to Champ. I mean  _did_ date him for 3 years. I know there was Dahlia after him, but that only lasted a few months when I realized I didn’t feel much for her. But...actually, this is about both of them. Whenever I took baths with Champ, he only agreed because he wanted one thing from me when all I wanted to do was relax with him. Dahlia made fun of me when I put bubbles in the bath, and she made me cry,” Waverly laughed softly with no humor behind it. “You just want to lie with me which is exactly what I want and even though you laughed at the bubbles, I know that you’re not actually making fun of me for it.”

Nicole kisses her cheek. “They didn’t deserve you because they didn’t understand the marvel that you are. They were idiots for not understanding and even bigger idiots for leaving you.”

The words take Waverly’s breath away in a loud gasp. She hadn’t known how much she needed to hear those words until they were said.

She knew that Nicole wouldn’t just up and leave her (if she would someday leave her), and that she genuinely cared for her and loved her, but those just words confirmed her thoughts.

Waverly knew that Wynonna wouldn’t leave her and neither would her friends, but obviously her connection with Nicole was much different— _deeper_. To be left by her would a knife to the gut. Nicole knows who she is and still doesn’t want to leave her. In fact, she actually thinks that Champ and Dahlia are idiots for doing just that!

It does one thing she appreciates: It makes her realize that there is nothing wrong with her. And if people leave, it’s just because the other person doesn’t want to stay, and that’s not her goddamn fault.

“Thank you,” Waverly says.

“For what?” Nicole asks.

“For not only making me feel worthy, but for making me realize that I am. I know that I have faults and that I make mistakes, but you help me remember that that only means that I’m human and not that some broken girl who pushes people away because she’s not what others want her to be.”

Nicole gives her a smile that says _I’m so proud of you_. “That’s right, cutie. You are you and you don’t have to change for anyone. You have people who love you exactly as you are. Don’t change for anyone and don’t let anyone push you around because you’re not what they want. That’s not your goddamn fault.”

“I love you, pretty girl.”

Nicole kisses her. “I love you too, fucker.”

Waverly splashes water on her face.

  
❧

Nicole holds open the door of _Red’s Diner_ for Waverly for an early lunch and they’re shocked to see their (yes, _their_ ) group of friends at one of the longer tables. The place is almost full and hot, and there are fans all over the place showing that the AC is down.

"Want to sit with them or get a table all for ourselves?” Waverly asks.

"Let go with them, I want to spend a little time with them before I go. Is that alright?” Nicole asks with hesitation.

"Of course that's fine, pretty girl. They'll appreciate it, I know they'll miss you too.”

“I like them. A lot. I'll miss them, too,” Nicole says sadly.

Waverly presses a kiss to her cheek and intertwines their hands to lead them to the table.

''Hey look, it's Wayhaught!” Jeremy says.

"Hey ladies. Come here, take a seat,” Dolls says while him and Rosita pull up an extra pair of chairs. “Order whatever you want, today's on me.”

"Thank you, Dolls,” Nicole says with a smile.

She takes a seat next to Waverly and her hand automatically goes to her thigh. In front of her are Doc and Wynonna, who seem to be on good terms for the time being, Jeremy's to the left of them, and Dolls and Rosita are beside Waverly. The atmosphere around them isn't one of pity or sadness even. It's a warm comfort of understanding because even though she's leaving, they're not the ones who have to go months without touching the person they're hopelessly in love with.

Nicole throws her hand over Waverly’s and gives it a tight squeeze.

“So Nicole what time are you leaving?” Jeremy asks.

Everyone groans out  _Jeremy_.

“Sorry,” he mutters, “Wrong timing, I know.”

But it makes Nicole laugh, so everyone else joins along and the awkward tension is broken just as the waitress comes over to take everyone's order.

The waitress informs them that its National Waffle Day so waffles are only 99 cents.

“But we came for lunch,” Doc says to her.

Waverly looks offended, “So?”

“So nothing apparently,” Doc says. “We’ll have waffles for everyone.”

“And vanilla milkshakes!” Rosita adds. Everyone hums in agreement and the waitress laughs at the group.

“Waffles and vanilla milkshakes for lunch it is.”

The group makes small talk before the food arrives, but when it does, Wynonna stands up with her vanilla shake in hand.

Everyone looks at her questionably. “What you doing, Nonna?” Waverly asks.

“I would like to propose a toast,” she says.

“With a milkshake,” Dolls says.

“You're right. Let me just order champagne,” Wynonna says with a glare. Dolls throws his hands up in surrender.

“Everyone raise your milkshakes,” Wynonna says in a serious tone that makes the group giggle, but obey. The customers around throw them weird looks.

“To Nicole. For finally getting her ass out of my town,” Wynonna says. Nicole throws her a glare, but it's gone when Wynonna sends her a warm smile. “I'm kidding.

We're raising our shakes to friendship,” she says looking straight at Nicole. “It doesn't matter how far you are from us, Haught. You're family now.”

The words hit Nicole straight in the heart, like a perfectly aimed arrow and she smiles through watery eyes. She missed having a family.

“You have no idea what that means to me, Wynonna. Thank you.”

“Don't thank me. Thank Waverly for keeping your sorry ass around,” Wynonna says sitting down with her straw in mouth.

“And she's back,” Nicole laughs.

“She's serious, Nicole,” Jeremy says suddenly. “When I first became friends with them, I automatically liked them, I wanted to stick around. Want to know why?”

Nicole tilts her head in response—Waverly leaves a chaste kiss on her forehead.

“Because I didn't fit in, but none of them asked me to. I’m allowed to be me,” he shrugs.

Nicole nods and smiles and decides that she's proud to call these people her friends—her _family_.

“Jeremy!” Rosita says, getting up. “That was so nice. I think you deserve a kiss.”

“Oh, shit,” Jeremy says. The group laughs when Rosita leaves kisses all over his face.

❧

By two o’clock, Waverly and Nicole make their way across the dirt trail in the park, enjoying the view of the Canadian rockies. Nicole’s got an arm around Waverly’s shoulders and Waverly’s thrown her arm around Nicole’s waist despite the hot weather; they could honestly care less about it.

They’re not talking, simply enjoying each other’s presence for the time Nicole has to leave is closer than ever. (It’s something she loved about being with Nicole—she never felt pressured to start up a conversation and the silences weren’t awkward. It reminded her of a line from her second favorite Tarantino movie, " _That's when you know you've found somebody special. When you can just shut the fuck up for a minute and comfortably enjoy the silence_.”) They still have to get back to Waverly’s to pack, plus it takes almost an hour to get to the airport. Time’s just being snatched away from them.

Everyone said goodbye to Nicole after their meals, wishing her a good luck for her first day as a Police Officer. (They made Nicole miss Alex suddenly).

"Waverly,” Nicole says, breaking the silence. “About us..."

"Yeah?"

"I think we just have to go along and see where things take us. Relationships aren't some concrete thing that needs to be planned. I don't know when we’ll live together, or whatever, but I do know that we don't need to have our relationship completely figured out right now. I love you, Waverly and I want to enjoy my time with you.”

“That's a perfect answer, Nicole," Waverly says with a smile. "I can deal with that, with just...going with the flow.”

Nicole turns her head and kisses the side of Waverly's. “But there's something else we need to talk about.”

Waverly gives her a sad smile. “I know. But, first, I don't want us to be the type of people who give up easily on the person they love. I want us to fight if things start going downhill until we know for sure that the relationship won't work out. Can you promise me that?”

Nicole nods, “I promise.”

“I don’t want to call it quits,” Waverly admits.

“Me neither. But it'll be hard, Waves, and at some point if this gets _too_ hard, I don't want to get hurt, and I especially don't want you getting hurt. So you have to promise me, as I'll promise you, that if it's not working, we end things.”

It was a hard conversation to have, only they had no choice but to have it. It made Waverly's chest feel heavy. “I promise.”

“But, maybe one day we’ll decide that, maybe you’ll move to New York… or I’ll move to Purgatory," Nicole says shyly.

“You’d do that for me?” Waverly asks, looking up her girlfriend.

“I’d do a lot of things to you.”

“Nicole!” Waverly laughs as she slaps Nicole’s arms. “I’m serious.”

“Me too. But really, I’d do anything for you, Waves.”

Waverly nods, getting close to Nicole, “Me too,” and she kisses her under the bright blue sky and scorching sun. 

❧

Waverly's never had to say goodbye before—except to her mama, but she didn't know she _was_ saying goodbye. Everyone she's ever loved has been snatched away from her suddenly, even her daddy who'd been with her and Wynonna—he'd left when her mama did and she never got to say goodbye.

It's dark outside, dark and blue as if the sky's been listening to melancholy songs. It reflected how she felt and it brought an odd sort of comfort knowing that she wasn't alone. The moon still looks full and it's hard to believe that yesterday had only happened yesterday—the night and day had gone so quickly, it felt like they were arguing only 10 minutes ago. She could hear Nicole telling her she had to leave so clearly.

When Waverly turned her head away from the glass windows, the light of the airport is bright enough to blind her. Maybe it'd be easier if she couldn't see Nicole walking away from her, anyway. Her attention is snapped back to reality when a warm hand squeezes her own. She faces Nicole. Sweet, precious Nicole with her short red hair, soft skin, and loving eyes.

They come to a stop.

Nicole faces her and holds both of her hands and wonders if she'll fall if Nicole were to let go. She's brought into a suffocating hug which is ironic because Nicole is the goddamn air she breathes.

"I'm going to miss you much," she finally speaks.

"Me too," Nicole says. "Just four months and you'll come visit me, right?"

"Right. We can handle that." Waverly says with a determination that makes Nicole fall in love with her a little more. "Nicole, I love you so much."

Nicole pulls back and puts her lips on hers in a hard kiss that last a long while. "I love you, too."

Waverly pulls Nicole into another kiss, this one short and sweet, but just as desperate. She pulls apart and turns around without a second thought because _maybe it'd be easier if she couldn't see Nicole walking away from her_. If she looks into Nicole's eyes she's apt to sneak into the plane. She's small enough to fit into Nicole's bag, right?

She can't do it. She spares a glance back and is glad to see Nicole walking away from her because goddamn it those eyes would've stopped her. Those sad, beautiful eyes.

She steps out into the warm night and breathes in the humid air as she walks back to the car. She's grateful that Wynonna offered to drive them because she's not sure she's in the right state of mind to handle the drive back to Purgatory.

"Are you ready?" Wynonna asks her.

"No," Waverly says. Wynonna starts the car anyway and drives away.

Nearly an hour later they drive past the sign welcoming them back home. _You'll never want to leave!_ the sign reads.

Waverly lets out a dry chuckle. If that were true, her and Nicole would be cuddling and kissing right now; she'd be in the car with her holding her hand.

She lets out a long sigh that helps rid of some of the heaviness in her chest. Frankly, she knows that she has to suck it up. Nicole got a job to go back to, and a dream to fulfill and she herself has got her own life to get back to. It's not like they broke up, she just left. It _is_ possible to survive without Nicole.

_It is, but I don't want to._

_She's got a life and so do I, but why can't we live our lives together?_

Maybe now that she got a taste of what it's like to be with Nicole, these next four months will be easier.

Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think about the story so far! All feedback is appreciated <3


	7. Like Crazy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy reading :-)
> 
> Or maybe not....

It's been 2 months since Nicole left. Waverly doesn't think it's possible, but somehow she misses Nicole a little bit more every day. She's back to anticipating the day she gets to see her girlfriend and back to hating the couples around her. She assumed that it would be easier to be apart from Nicole after she left because she'd gotten a taste of what it's like to really be with her, but instead she was thrown into the harsh reality that it would actually more difficult.

Now that she knew exaclty what she was missing, it hurt even more.

She misses Nicole's lips moving roughly against hers when they were making love. She misses the lazy kisses when they awoke in each other's arms. She misses the chaste kisses on her nose, cheeks, and forehead. She misses the soft kisses that Nicole would give after she told her she loved her.

And that was just the goddamn kisses.

On the flip side, it made her even more excited for the day she would get to New York City and find the girl with the red hair smiling at her with eyes as warm as the coffee in her hands.

Waverly, with a red bandana in her hair and denim overalls, is lying down on the grass of an isolated park where the sun is just setting (on another side of the world).

She's tracing the leaves on the trees.

Only this time there's no one beside her she's too nervous to say _I love you_ to for the first time. The leaves have changed too. They're not just green anymore, but golden yellows, oranges that remind her of the pumpkins being placed on front porches, and blood red, reminding her that Halloween is only a month away.

The weather is just warm enough to be outside at seven in the morning, but cool enough to enjoy her coffee comfortably. Autumn has been her favorite season for as long as she can remember, and she can't wait to enjoy the warmth and coziness it brings with Nicole.

There's snow lightly covering the moutains she never gets sick of looking at. Though she can't help but think that there'd be nothing wrong with a different view. She throws her stick a couple feet away and stares at them for a long time before making a last minute decision to call Nicole.

"Good morning, sunshine," Nicole says a second later as she grabs her hair up. Waverly assumes she's looking in the mirror. "You're up early. Are you lying on grass?" Nicole asks as she looks at her screen.

"Morning, baby. Yeah, I wanted to watch the sunrise."

Nicole meets her eyes and gives her a dimpled grin. "You're cute."

Waverly winks at her. "I know."

"Fucker."

Waverly shrugs. "Hey, I was just tracing the trees."

"Sounds fun," Nicole says absentmindedly. Waverly scrunches her eyebrows. That should be the part where Nicole says something that makes her heart beat speed up, or her chest warm after bringing up the memory. She lets it go. Like she's been letting go of a lot of things lately.

"You're _not_ up early," Waverly notices, changing the topic as the sun's light fills up the sky.

"My FTO decided that I deserved the morning off. She said that I've been proving myself to be an alright officer," Nicole says with a proud smile. 

"I'm proud of you, pretty girl," Waverly returns the smile.

"Thanks, baby."

There's a pause before Waverly says, "Have I ever told you that you—"

"Yes, you have," Nicole interrupts. "I have to go now, Waves. Sorry, bye!"

"Okay, bye. I lo—" Nicole hangs up. "—ve you," Waverly ends to herself with a sigh.

She isn’t lying when she said it was getting harder. Her relationship with Nicole right now is a little strained. That was actually the best conversation they'd had in a while, it was normal- _ish_. She misses it, and it makes her sad because it wasn't even normal.

It's not that Nicole has been a bad girlfriend, but ever since she started working, they've had less and less calls. Waverly understands, Nicole is busy and she has to show her dedication to the department, even if that meants working an extra hour or two to impress her mentor. But, she misses her. A lot.

She doesn't know if Nicole realizes that she's acting as if she isn't really part of a relationship. She guesses it doesn't really matter, they'd promised each other they would fight, so that's what she’s doing. Even if Nicole doesn’t realize it.

And frankly, she'd be an idiot not to try, not to fight for the girl she loves.

She sits up, takes a sip of her coffee, and watches the sun in hopes that it brightens her up as much as it had the sky.

❧

The next night, Waverly makes her way into Shorty's in short spirits and is grateful not to find Wynonna because she needs advice from someone other than her sister. She hadn't talked to Nicole all day, and it was bugging her more than she thought it would.

"Hey, babe," Rosita greets her when she sits down at the bar. "You look shitty."

Waverly narrows her eyes at her. "Gee, thanks, asshole."

"Just being honest," Rosita shrugs. "You want a drink?"

"Just a beer, please," Waverly says.

Rosita nods. "That's why you're my favorite customer," she says.

"Why?" Waverly asks as her eyes roam the packed bar. It's not surprising, it's 10:00 PM and a Friday night. She sees Champ and his friends playing pool, as always, and Dolls and Jeremy picking out a song at the jukebox.

"Because you say _please_ ," Rosita says. "Everyone else just throws cash at me like I'm stripper, and I'm _not_ a stripper," she points out obviously. "I mean, I wish I was, but—"

Waverly gives her an amused look.

"Sorry," Rosita says. "You didn't come here to hear me talk about my dream of becoming a stripper. You want to talk? Because it sure as hell looks like you do."

Waverly throws her another glare and flips her the bird when Rosita laughs.

"Well, I _did_ come here to talk, but now I think that I just want to keep my mind off of things. Want some help behind the bar? And no, you cant leave, I'm _helping_ you, not taking over," Waverly adds when she sees the excited look on Rosita's face.

"Fine," Rosita mumbles. "Come back here then, honey. We can work  _and_  talk."

"I love you, and your smart self," Waverly says as she makes her way behind the bar.

"So, what's going on?" Rosita asks after handing over tequila shots to a couple of women around Waverly's age. 

Waverly wipes off some spilled beer after glaring at the man who spilled it. So, maybe it's not a good idea to work while she's angry.

Oh well.

"Nicole and I are just a little off, and I'm not sure what to do," Waverly says.

"What do you mean _off_?" Rosita asks as she puts her hand on her waist, and watches Waverly glare at another customer. Waverly turns to look at Rosita whose eyebrows are raised and smiles sheepishly at her with red cheeks.

"She's been working really hard and—"

"Okay, wait," Rosita puts her hand up, ignoring a customer who's asking for another beer.

"Wait, what?" Waverly asks.

"You just said that you and Nicole are off, as in _both_ of you. The way you started that sentence made it sound like you were going to give her all of the blame."

Waverly thinks for a second as _The Sky is Crying_ —Stevie Ray Vaughan's version—comes on. "Well, I was."

"Okay, continue."

"What? You just—"

" _Continue_ ," Rosita interrupts as she goes around Waverly.

"Okay," Waverly hesitates. "What I was going to say is that Nicole's been working really hard ever since she got her job, and we're not talking as much anymore. She's always either too busy or too tired. And when we _do_ talk, it doesn't feel like our usual conversations. Everything feels _forced_."

"Have you talked to her about it?" Rosita asks.

"Well, no, but—"

"But, nothing. Why haven’t you talked about it with her?" Rosita asks as more customers make their way to and from the bar.

"I just told you we don't talk a lot," Waverly argues. This was _not_ her fault.

"Exactly, _a lot_. As in, you still do. You _also_ just told me that when you _do_ talk, your conversations feel forced. Well, when you have one of those conversations, bring it up."

Waverly looks at her with hard eyes, but then sighs in defeat. "You're right. I'll talk to her next time she calls me."

Rosita gives her a look.

"Fine! _I'll_ call her."

Rosita gives her a curt nod. "Good. I'm always right by the way, but now tell me what _you're_ doing wrong," she says as she bends down to get some glasses.

"What?" Waverly asks in shock, her anger and pride returning. "I'm not doing _anything_ wrong."

"You said you were off, both of you. It's a two-way street, Waves. You told me your side, now push your pride away and tell me what you're doing wrong," Rosita says.

"I'm not—"

"Fine, then if I call her, she'll say the same thing?"

Waverly's eyes widen and her face reddens. Rosita keeps a straight face, but she's trying really hard not to smirk. "Fine!"

Rosita moves her hand in a manner that says _you have the floor_.

"I might not  _always_ text her back. I'll read her messages, but I won't reply, not even late because I get so mad at her. I may or may not have ignored her calls a couple times because I already knew how the conversation was going to go, and I didn't feel like dealing with it," Waverly admits with a guilty look. She'd stopped serving customers a while ago, but Rosita let it slide.

"So, you're ignoring your girlfriend?" Rosita asks.

"Well, when you put it that way, it sounds so harsh," Waverly says with sad eyes. "But, yeah. I guess."

"Was that so hard?" Rosita asks her.

"Yes, actually it was, because now I'm realizing how much of a dick I'm being."

"Hey," Rosita says as gets close to Waverly, and puts her hands on her shoulders. Rosita ignores the whistles behind her, but Waverly rolls her eyes. "Take responsibility, but don't blame yourself, okay?"

Waverly nods with a heavy heart. "Okay, I'm going home. I need sleep, so I can call Nicole tomorrow." She hugs Rosita tightly, "Thank you, Rosy."

"Anytime. Don't forget to pay for your beer."

"Wha—"

"Kidding, Waves. Now get your ass out of here and leave me all by my lonesome."

"Sorry," Waverly says. She makes her way out of the bar but not before meeting Jeremy's and Xavier's eyes and giving them a wave.

She walks home—she would pick up her jeep tomorrow—focusing her mind on the leaves crunching below her feet instead of the call she has to make tomorrow morning. The one that could end in a hundred different ways.

❧

She hadn't talked to Nicole.

Well, she _had_ talked to Nicole, but not about what she wanted to talk about. The conversations were brief, and they'd only talked once on Saturday and once on Sunday.

They hadn't called or Skyped since the call at the park, only texted, and still, even the messages were stiff. The messages consisted of the topics you talk about with a friend you haven't seen in a few years when you're just "catching up."

It was odd, and so unlike them that it scared Waverly.

By the time Waverly wakes up on Monday morning, she can hear kids walking towards the school bus and parents yelling, "Don't forget your lunch." The last 2 days were spent locked up in her home reading memoirs, writing a few short stories that will probably never see the light of day, and thinking about Nicole. Well, not necessarily Nicole, but her relationship with her.

She got up and showered before having pop tarts—she knows it's not the best breakfast, but she was really not in the mood to cook.

She knew that it was time that her and Nicole had a conversation about what was going on, so that's why she's sitting on her living room floor, her laptop on the coffee table ringing loudly, and her heart pounding hard in her chest like a giant's footsteps.

Nicole's face shows up the screen and her hair is a little messy, but Waverly's heart still does somersaults at the sight of her.

"Hey, Waves. Look, I just got back from a night shift. And I'm exhausted," Nicole says with a yawn as she throws herself onto her bed. She looks so tired, and Waverly ignores the guilt in her chest.

"Oh, I'm sorry, baby, but I need to talk to you about something," Waverly says as she looks down at her hands.

"Can it wait until later?"

Waverly flinches. Nicole has _never_ said that to her. She'd make time for her to express how she felt if she was caught in the midst of a crossfire.

"No, Nicole it can't," Waverly says with a firm voice that catches Nicole's attention, and surprises Waverly herself.

"Are you okay, Waves?" Nicole asks with sudden alert and concerned eyes.

Waverly looks down again before shaking her head.

"What's wrong? Who hurt you?" Nicole asks, the familiar fire making it's way to her eyes when Waverly was hurt by someone.

Waverly meets Nicole's eyes confidently, "Us."

Nicole gives her a confused look. " _Us_?"

"Yes, Nicole. You and I, we're not exactly uhh, _good_ ," she says.

"How so?"

"How... _how so_? You're kidding, right?" Waverly asks, the astonishment clear on her face, only confusing Nicole further.

"Kidding 'bout _what_ , Waverly?"

"That were falling apart!" Waverly finally yells, her eyes wide and hands in the air.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Nicole asks. Waverly can see that she's truly astonished by the revelation. "We're fine, Waverly," she says, questions and tiredness in her eyes.

"Nicole, this is the first time we see each other in _3_ days," Waverly says in a stressed, but calm voice.

"Yeah, but we've been texting," Nicole argues.

"You know that as a long distance couple, that's a bad sign."

"Regular couples don't even see each other every day!"

"We're not a regular couple! And so what if they don't? I bet their texts and calls aren't stiff and awkward."

"Oh please, that's not how our conversations are going," Nicole scoffs.

"Are you really that caught up in your work that you can't even see that we're not okay?"

" _Excuse me_?" Nicole asks. "You _know_ that I have to work hard if I want to gain any respect and some good rep!"

Waverly ignores her. "Read the messages then," she says.

"What?"

"Read the messages if you don't believe that our conversations are bullshit."

Nicole rolls her eyes.

Waverly's heart stops. _Oh no, she's annoyed. Maybe I should stop. If I'm annoying she'll leave_.

Nicole runs a hand down her face. "I'm tired, Waves. I'll read the messages later."

"Nicole, _please_ ," Waverly says. "This is important to me. I want us to work."

Nicole looks at her with hurt and surprise written all over her face. "And you think I don't? You think this isn't hard on me too?"

"What? I never said that—"

"That's what it sounded like," Nicole glares.

"Just read the messages and tell me that we're not okay, so we can _fix_ it."

"This isn't a freaking bathroom sink, Waverly. Relationships can't be fixed that fast."

"You didn't even think anything was wrong until 2 minutes ago!"

"That doesn't matter. I can see that something's wrong now! But, I already told you, I'll read the messages tomorrow. I'm going to sleep. I'm tired, okay?" Waverly can see tears in her eyes from the exhaustion and stress she's probably feeling, but she ignores them.

" _Goddamnit_ Nicole, I heard you the first 20 times," Waverly snaps. "But I don't know how much longer I can hold this conversation off," she admits.

"Don't be so fucking dramatic, I'll only be sleeping for a few hours. God, when you'd get so goddamn _needy_ ," Nicole says as she looks away from her phone.

That does it for Waverly. She feels a sting in her chest that makes tears well up in her eyes, but she ignores those too.

"When you stopped fucking caring," Waverly spits out.

That does it for Nicole.

She snaps her head around to face her phone again, the fury in her eyes—this time aimed at Waverly. "How could you say that?" Nicole asks. "You know that you're my whole heart, Waverly. You're my _family_."

"Am I?" Waverly scoff.

"I can't believe you. But it doesn't fucking matter, I'm not in the right state of mind, Waves. Can we _please_ talk about this later?"

Waverly agrees with her, that they should take some time to cool down before they say more things that they'll end up regretting, but she's too stubborn and prideful, so instead of responding like an adult she just shuts her laptop with a slam.

 _When you'd get so goddamn needy_. The words play in her head over and over again like a never ending Wheel of Fortune. She fucking hated that show.

Deep down she knows that Nicole didn't completely mean it, but that doesn't mean it hurt any less. She struck a cord, and she knew that Nicole knew it.

But, she'd messed up too. She runs a hand through her hair before getting up to wash her face. _What a great way to start my morning_ , she thinks.

20 minutes later, Waverly texts Wynonna to let her know she's going to The Black Badge Division— _Don't hold back_ , she sends.

❧

Waverly and Wynonna are standing across other, both in their boxing stance. It's only 11:00 in the morning, so there's only them and a handful of men and women at the punching bags and lifting weights. The walls are filled with pictures of boxers, and the stench of sweat fills the air making Waverly scrunch her nose in disgust. She has no idea how Wynonna can work here.

Waverly's got a look in her eye, one that Wynonna can't distinguish, one that only makes more creases etch themselves into her eyebrows. She's been worried ever since see read Waverly's message, and wondering what the hell is going on.

She wants to ask her but obviously Waverly doesn't want to talk. She wants to fight, but Wynonna's always found it easier to talk while she's boxing, so that's exaclty what she's going to get her sister to do.

Waverly gets close to her and jabs straight forward, which Wynonna block easily. She knows that Waverly's not worrying about technique right now—she just wants to punch. Waverly throws another punch, but Wynonna crouches down and throws a hook to Waverly, then straightens up with another lead hook to her head.

Waverly looks pissed.

"Talk to me, baby girl," Wynonna says when Waverly ducks and crosses her.

"I had a fight with Nicole," Waverly says while Wynonna blocks her punches. She punches harder and messily, and hits Wynonna in the face.

" _Jesus_ ," Wynonna says, shaking it off. "You guys have had plenty of fights. What's so different about this one?"

"This one was a bad one."

They separate and bounce back and forth on their feet while in their stance. "How bad?"

Waverly blocks Wynonna's punch. " _Bad_. She said some things that hurt me, and I said some things I regret." She goes on to tell her exaclty what happened as they continue to fight.

"Then, make it better," Wynonna says while punching Waverly'sbare stomach lightly. She ignores the anger she feels about Nicole calling her sister needy, knowing that her sister has struggled a lot with the idea that she's the reason people go away. She knows that Nicole didn't mean it, and that it was just said in the heat of the moment.

"It's not that easy Wynonna," Waverly says with a sigh. "Remember a few weeks before Nicole came down, I told you that our relationship was hard?"

"Yeah, what about it?" Wynonna says before yelling at some teens messing around in the corner.

Waverly keeps her eyes on the guys, gathering her thoughts. Wynonna punches her in the head to grab her attention. Waverly throws her a glare. "That was _nothing_ compared to this," she says with dry laughter. She sits down in the corner of the boxing ring. "It's just so fucking hard, Nonna."

Wynonna's heart breaks at the sight of her broken looking sister "I know baby girl, but look, do you love her?"

"Dangerously so," Waverly says recalling the first time she told Nicole she loved her.

"Then, fight for her!" Wynonna says. "For each other. Unless you think that this is the end, keep going because a love like yours is rare. It's not as amazing as mine and Doc's, obviously, but it's up there."

Wynonna smiles when she succeeds at making her little sister smile and Waverly feels a rush of love for her big sister. She always knew exactly what to say, and she had a point.

"You're right," Waverly says as she takes off her gloves. 

"As usual."

Waverly laughs. "Yes, as usual. I can't run away because I'm scared. I have to fight for her, right?"

"Exaclty," Wynonna says as she extends her hand so that Waverly can get up.

"I know what I'm going to do," Waverly says with a grin. She ignores her pride and hurt, and decides to focus on how things can be better instead.

"And what's that?" Wynonna asks with suspicion.

"I'm going to New York."

Wynonna pauses. "You're going to surprise Haught?" She asks, impressed.

"Well, she surprised me. Why not surprise her back?" Waverly asks. "I'm going to buy a ticket right now. I'll leave tonight."

"This is so exciting! I feel like I'm in a movie," Wynonna admits. " _Please_ don't do anything too cheesy. I don't want you to come back and tell me that you raised a boombox over your head by her window."

Waverly rolls her eyes.

"I'm going with you. I told Haught I'd fly to New York and hurt you if she hurt you."

"Bye, Wynonna," Waverly says as she walks away.

"What?" Wynonna yells behind her. "No, _thank you my queen for solving my problems_? If I would've known you weren't even going to pay me, I would've sent you to Jeremy."

Waverly laughs and stops. "Hey, Jeremy gives great advice."

"Yes, when it comes to _boys_ ," Wynonna says, walking up to her sister. "Which is quite surprising considering how bad he is at talking to them."

"It really doesn't make sense," Waverly agrees when Wynonna reaches her. She gives her a tight hug, ignoring how sweaty they both are.

"I love you, Wynonna," Waverly says.

"I love you too, baby girl. Text me when you get to New York tonight, okay?" She gives Waverly a kiss on the cheek. "Now go make things right with your girl."

❧

Waverly was right.

Nicole knew it, but she was just too naive to accept that their relationship was going downhill. She knew that it wouldn't be easy, but she didn't expect to get as low as them not even talking anymore. She'd woken up after a few hours after their fight, but she hadn't found it in her to call Waverly back. She needed a little more time to clear her head.

Waverly was scheduled to come visit her in a month—35 days to be exact—and though it was close, it was so far away, and she didn't know how much longer she could wait.

Now that she was aware of how Waverly felt, she saw now that the relationship just didn't _feel_ like a relationship anymore. She wasn't as happy as she used be, not because she didn't love Waverly—she loved her with every fiber in her being—but they didn't even text everyday.

Waverly would text her when she was working and she'd forget to answer or Waverly wouldn't respond to her texts. They still Skype, but again, her girlfriend was right. Their conversations seemed forced, the silences that encompassed them when neither of them knew what to say felt like the silences that occur when your best friend leaves you with someone they just introduced you to as they go talk to someone else.

And though the last conversation with Waverly had been a much needed awakening—including that she'd been working too hard to the point that she didn't realize what was going on—Waverly had hurt her.

She knew she'd hurt Waverly too, and that hurt even more.

There was only one thing she knew for sure—she really did not want to think about Waverly right now, well not Waverly, but their relationship. She wanted to, just for the night, forget all about it and deal with it tomorrow morning.

Which is why she's currently sitting in a crappy bar, drinking crappy beer. The place is dark, and dank. It's surprisingly full for a shit bar and frankly, she doesn't mind. The loud voices distract her from thinking. Sort of.

"Blue doesn't really suit you."

Nicole snaps her head up at the voice and her eyes meet impossibly piercing green eyes. She lets out a sigh, and she attempts to smile politely at the strange, gorgeous women, but the smile is only tantamount to the sadness roaming around in her eyes.

"Yeah, well blue seems to be the only color in my world right now," Nicole says.

"Mmm, how poetic," the woman says.

"I'll drink to that," Nicole raises her beer.

"Seems to me like you'd drink to just abut anything right now."

Nicole just shrugs in repsonse.

"Can I sit?" She asks.

Nicole nods.

"I'm Riley," the woman finally says with soft, kind eyes.

"Nicole."

"Nice to meet you, Nicole. Can I ask what led you to a blue world and crappy bar?"

"I'm...drinking away my loneliness," Nicole admits.

Riley nods with a sad smile. "I can get on board with that."

Nicole turns toward the bartender and orders them both tequila shots. Sadness and drinking never go well together, and she knows that shots are a terrible idea, but somehow, she can't find herself to care.

An hour later of mindless conversation, Riley speaks up.

"Take me back to your place," Riley slurs out.

Nicole's numb, and she nods her head before extending her hand to the girl with the eyes made of ice.

❧

Waverly couldn't believe she did it. She'd actually bought a last minute ticket to New York City just to make up with her girlfriend. If that isn't romantic, then she doesn't know what is. She'd spent like last 5 and a half hours in the plane imagine how their conversation would play out. Really, she was hoping that they could ignore what had happened, just for the night, and instead make out and cuddle because she knew she was going to be jet lagged. They'd talk about what happened tomorrow morning over coffee.

It's late, half past midnight, so she hopes that her girlfriend is still awake and hears her knocking. She find the apartment building and makes her way in. She shivers when the cool air hits her face and is happy to find that the lobby of the building is warm and nicer than she'd expected.

She steps into an elevator and presses down _11._  She's met with a blank wall when the doors open and steps out to make a turn at the corner. She sees Nicole's back. Only, she's not alone.

She's with another girl.

She hides behind the wall and peaks her head out with wide eyes and a million questions running through her mind. Her heart has stilled _. Who is that? Is she cheating? No, Nicole would never do that, right? But, everyone capable of anything. Should I go? Stay? WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?_

She opts to stay.

"Nicole," the woman slurs.

"Yeah, Riley?" Nicole says while struggling with her keys.

"You're taking too long. Just kiss me now?"

The words seem to register in Nicole's head. "What?" She says with wide eyes.

"Kiss me," Riley says. She leans forward quickly and presses her lips against Nicole's for a split second before Nicole pushes her away with horrified eyes. Waverly's heart breaks.

"What—what are you doing?" Nicole asks.

"What do you mean? Isn't that what we're here for?"

"What? No, or yes? I-I don't know," Nicole says. She's shaking and despite everything, it takes everything in Waverly not to run up to her and hug her because of vulnerable she looks. "You need to go. _Now_."

Riley's head snaps up. "Why?"

"Because I have a girlfriend. _Waverly_ , her name's Waverly. And—And I love her."

Tears make their way down Waverly's face. She has no what to feel.

Riley seems to sober up in that instant. "Oh my God, Nicole. I'm so sorry, you said you were drinking to—I didn't know. I'm so sorry. I'll go."

Waverly's eyebrows scrunch together. _This girl is sorry_?

She doesn't have a moment to think about it more because Riley's headed her way. She presses her back against the wall in what she hopes looks like a casual pose, and lets her pass by. _Jesus this women is gorgeous_.

Riley mutters an  _excuse me_ and Waverly peeks toward Nicole one more time. Her head is against the door, and she's still shaking, though this time because of the sobs wracking her body.

Waverly looks at her for awhile before turning away, feeling like there's a rock in her chest. She decides to wait for the elevator, not wanting to get in with Riley.

She would be sleeping in a hotel tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry?


	8. Crazy Stupid Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!!
> 
> I’m sorry if I broke your heart last chapter, I hope this makes up for it <3
> 
> Happy reading!

_I spent a while debating whether or not I should talk about this. Though she's forgiven herself, till this day, it's not something Nicole is proud of. But, the whole thing was a part of something bigger and important, so I talked to her. She said it was okay. It makes think that I should’ve asked her about it earlier instead of wasting a week debating whether or not I should talk about it. Thankfully, she understood that it helped bring us closer and made us stronger._

_So, I'll just say it. And though you may be shocked, just wait until I tell you the whole story._

_Nicole cheated. At her front door, after a surprise visit from me, I saw another girl kiss her._

_But, here's the thing. Obviously, it hurt me but it's much bigger than a pretty girl kissing her. Maybe it’s terrible that the kiss had to happen for us to go back to_ us, _but that’s what happened. Like I said, the universe fucks with us so good things can come out of it._

_So, before you leave, stick around for a bit and find out what happens._

❧

Waverly stands in front of Nicole’s door. Her heart is pounding in her chest, and she can’t help the dread that spreads over her body like a million ants transporting food back and forth. Her palms are sweaty, and her nerves are eating at her, only to rest at the pit of her stomach once they’ve had their fill.

She's been standing there for 10 minutes. Once that door is opened, there are hundreds of possible outcomes, and she's not sure if she's ready for some of them.

The same thoughts keep running through her head. _Nicole and I got into a fight. Nicole had a girl here last night. A girl who kissed her. A girl she didn't want to kiss._

The night before had been worse than her turbulent journey to the city. She’d gotten little sleep. She'd brushed through her hair lousily after a quick shower, and there were bags under eyes.

There was just too much to think about to get some shut-eye. Plus, she felt guilty. Last night, Nicole needed her, and she was there, but she wasn't _there_ —just like her daddy.

That’s a thought she couldn’t stand.

She wasn’t sure what she felt more, the nerves or the guilt. She just knew that she felt like she was losing a game she’d never signed up for. She wasn’t even sure what the goddamn game was.

The sight of Nicole with her head against the door and her body shaking with cries made an ache settle in her chest, heavy and demanding. _How could I abandon her like that_?

And Nicole was drunk! She left her drunk girlfriend alone. _How am I any different than daddy_?

For all she knows, Nicole isn't even home because instead of staying, she went out and got even more wasted, beating herself up for cheating on her. Something dangerous could have happened.  _No_ , Waverly thinks. _Now you’re just letting your mind wander_.

If Waverly was being honest with herself, Nicole didn't cheat on her. She was there. Nicole didn't _want_ to kiss that girl; she wasn't even sure why'd she'd taken her home in the first place—it was written all over her face.

Nicole bringing a strange woman to her place in the first place hurt her, yes—but Nicole didn't cheat. Because Riley kissed _her_ and Nicole pushed back not even a split second after their lips touched.

Waverly understood though, why she had left.

Nicole had taken Riley home and that part still counted. Nicole betrayed some of her trust because of it. For all she knew, at some point, there could've been thoughts running through Nicole’s mind about what she and Riley were going to do when they got home.

It was just one of the many reasons she had to talk Nicole, because she didn’t know what had been running through her mind before she’d arrived.

There was one thing Nicole could do to gain back the trust she'd lost. She would have to tell Waverly what happened.

She knew Nicole would tell her, but still, there was that small chance Nicole wouldn't. And if she wouldn't tell her, then they'd be done—just like that. Because Waverly loved Nicole, but there can’t be a relationship without any trust.

Waverly was praying to all the Gods and Goddesses she'd ever heard of that Nicole would tell her.

If she would've stayed to comfort Nicole, who knows if Waverly would’ve trusted her again? So, she'd left and what's done is done and _Waverly, you’re thinking too much_.

Her brain is playing tricks on her, trying to make her run away because she’s scared, but she was so fucking tired of that. She'd lost friends over the years because she'd done just that. Because she assumed that eventually, people would leave, so she left first. It hurt less that way.

She wants Nicole to stay and she wants Nicole for as long as she’ll have her. She has to ignore her fast beating heart and sweaty palms, and knock on the goddamn door. So she does.

She waits. 10 seconds, then 20...30. No one opens up. The idea of Nicole not being home crosses her mind again, and she feels fear crawl it's way up to her stomach stealthily, like a lion getting ready to pounce on its prey. She knocks again, louder this time.

5 seconds pass, then 10, then the door opens. Nicole stands on the other side with tousled hair and bags even bigger than hers. She looks like she hasn't stopped crying.

"Waverly?" Nicole asks in shock.

"Uhh," Waverly gulps. "Hi."

"Waverly," Nicole repeats. "Oh my _God_." She throws herself to Waverly, wrapping her arms around her shoulders, her muscles losing any tension she felt. She lets Waverly’s warmth settle into her chest like the first sip of hot coffee.

Waverly buries her face in Nicole’s neck and melts into the hug. The heaviness in her chest still remains, but she feels a relief of some pressure as butterflies erupt.

At some point, they started crying. They stand there—half in, half out—and let out everything together, and despite everything, it feels so good.

"I'm so sorry, Nicole," Waverly says as her tears soak through Nicole’s sweatshirt.

"Me too, I'm sorry. I'm sorry," Nicole says with her cheek pressed against Waverly’s head.

There's so much more to be said, but right now the apologies are enough to lighten up their chests a bit.

Nicole pulls apart and wipes Waverly's tears away with her thumbs. Waverly desperately wants to kiss Nicole but stops herself because it doesn’t feel like the right moment. Not until they're good. So, she opts to hug her again, pressing her body just as tightly as the first time, but for less time.

"I missed you a lot," Waverly says after she pulls apart again.

"Me too, but, come on. Let's step inside before my neighbors stick their noses out. God knows they've done it before," Nicole says trying to lighten the mood. It doesn’t work.

Waverly takes in Nicole's apartment. There are plants on the window sill, a huge bookcase with no more space, and the _Rebel Without a Cause_ poster above the couch she’d seen when they would Skype. It’s not big, the kitchen is behind a half-wall, and there’s a hallway leading to what she assumes is Nicole’s room and a bathroom. It’s all perfectly Nicole.

Nicole sits them down on the couch. "So, what are you doing here? I thought you were coming next month. Did I mix up the dates?" Nicole asks with worry—maybe more than necessary, but given the circumstances, Waverly understood.

"No, Nicole," Waverly says softly, the guilt settling again as she sees the obvious war going on in her girlfriend’s head. "You didn’t. It's just that our fight was bad, and it didn't feel right having to fix it through a screen, so I came down. I-I hope that was okay?"

"Of course it was okay," Nicole says with soft eyes. Well, as soft as heavy eyes can get. "What time did you arrive? I could've picked you up at the airport."

Waverly freezes for a second, it's fast enough that Nicole doesn't notice it. "It doesn't matter. What matters is that I'm here with you." She covers Nicole’s hand, which lies on her own thigh, with hers.

"You're right," Nicole breathes out. "We have a lot to talk about." Waverly nods soundlessly. "But first, Waves, there's something I need to tell you, and I don't know how to do it," Nicole says with tears welling up in her eyes.

Waverly holds her breath. Here it comes. She's going to tell her.

And now that she gets the confirmation she was waiting for, she can't hear the words just yet. Not because she wasn’t ready, but because Nicole isn’t. Nicole needs her right now and the talking can wait.

"Nicole, wait," Waverly says.

"What?"

"Whatever you’re going to say, we can talk about it later. Look, you look exhausted. Have you even showered?"

"No, but, that doesn’t matter. I really have to tell you, I can't—"

"Nicole, calm down," Waverly says before taking Nicole’s face into her hands and kissing her forehead. "Do you want to tell me what you’re about to tell me?"

Nicole nods with hesitant eyes.

"Okay, let me change my question. Do you want to tell me at this very second?"

"Honestly?" Nicole asks. "No. But, it’s not an option, Waverly."

"Yes it is, now come here," Waverly says as she gets up. " _I_ _trust you_ , Nicole.”

Nicole gives her a confused look but nods anyway. "Okay." Nicole gets up. She looks so vulnerable.

"Where's your bathroom?" Waverly asks.

"My bathroom?" Nicole asks, her confusion back. "Through the hallway." Waverly takes her and walks them to the bathroom. When they walk in, Waverly lets go of Nicole's hand to turn on the bath.

"What are you doing?" Nicole asks as Waverly clutches the bottom of her shirt.

"Our talk is important, Nicole. But you are so much more, and you need to relax before we can have it. Trust me." She waits for Nicole's approval before taking off her shirt, her pajama shorts, and finally her underwear.

Waverly kisses her collarbones and says, "You are so beautiful." She turns turn off the water, and helps Nicole get in.

"Wait, you're not going to join me?" Nicole asks when Waverly sits on the edge of the bath.

"Maybe tomorrow but right now I'm taking care of you," Waverly says. She was _not_ her father.

She grabs the shampoo bottle and washes Nicole's hair gently, massaging her scalp as Nicole leans into her with her eyes closed.

A small smile takes over Waverly’s face. She thought that moments like these were important in any relationship—being fully aware that your partner can take care of themselves, but realizing when they need to be taken care of, and your partner allowing you to do just that without thinking that you have all of the control. She washes Nicole’s shoulders and back, and ends with conditioner—all done wordlessly.

When she finishes, she tells Nicole to stay in until the water gets cold and to call her when it does.

"Where are you going?" Nicole asks, her head resting on the towel Waverly had laid under her head, and eyes still closed.

"Just call me when you're done," Waverly repeats.

Waverly walks to Nicole's kitchen and lets out a sigh as she runs her hands down her face. It‘s obvious that Nicole regrets what happened last night and that it’s eating her alive. The pain she‘s in hurts Waverly herself, but she knew that the trust was slowly coming back.

But, she can think about that later. Nicole needs breakfast. Waverly throws together something fast, aware that the water was already cooling down. She finds what she needs after rummaging through the cabinets and throws together a couple of peanut butter & banana sandwiches. It’s simple, but it’s one of Nicole's favorite breakfasts. She puts them on the table and goes to check on Nicole, who's already standing out and unplugging the bath when she walks in.

"Hey, I told you to call me," Waverly says while leaning her side against the doorway.

"I-I know, but it sounded like you were doing something, and I didn't want to bother you," Nicole says, adjusting the towel around her body.

"You are _not_ a bother. I'm taking care of you, remember? Now, let's go get you into some clothes." Nicole leads them to her bedroom and sits down. Waverly takes out a t-shirt from her bag.

"I figured maybe you'd want to wear one of mine," Waverly blushes. Nicole gives her a warm smile that reminds her of the autumn leaves.

"Thank you," Nicole says as she puts it on. Waverly hands her a pair of underwear and some sweatpants after Nicole tells her where they are.

"Let's get some food in you, _and me_ , because I don’t know about you, but I’m starving."

The couple sits down at the table and eats in silence. It’s not comfortable nor awkward. They’re both lost in their own thoughts, nervous about what’s going to happen when they’re finished eating. What should’ve taken 15 minutes to do ends up taking half an hour, until both women take their last bites.

Without any words, they walk to the living room and sit across each other. They’re not touching—both on opposite ends of the couch. It's awkward at first. No one knows where to start or what words to use to begin until Waverly thinks that she's the one who flew to New York, so she should be the one to start.

"Okay, Nicole. How about I start?”

Nicole looks at her with hesitant eyes and nods.

“I am _so_ sorry,” Waverly begins. “I should have _never_ talked to you the way that I did, and I should’ve explained how I felt better. I never wanted us to fight. Everything I said about you not caring for me and not being your family, it was bullshit. I know that you love me because you've proved it time and time again. You're my family too, you know that, right?"

Nicole gives her a morose smile. "I know. I’m sorry I made you think that I didn’t. I _do_ care for you Waverly, more than anyone in the world. But, what you said about me working too hard—"

"I know, that was out of line," Waverly says with a disappointment directed at herself. "You're just trying to gain respect like you said—"

"No, Waverly, you were right.”

“I was?” Waverly asks.

Nicole nods. “I mean, I can work hard, but I shouldn't have been neglecting you. I didn't even notice that there was a distance between us, ironically, and I should have. You're my girlfriend. I should make as much time for you as I make time to be a cop," Nicole says with a power behind her words that makes Waverly fall in love with her even more.

"That means a lot, Nicole. And it's exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you," Waverly says.

Nicole gives her a small smile. "I'm so sorry too for what I said about you being needy. That was completely out of line. You are not and you’ll _never_ be a bother to me, Waverly."

"No, I was. Like I said, I should’ve expl—"

"Waverly."

Waverly bites her jaw, the worry obvious in her face. She’d been working really hard on understanding that she doesn’t need to change herself for people and stopping herself before apologizing for who she was, but it was hard. Sometimes she would slip up and make a mistake. She gives Nicole a hesitant look that breaks Nicole's heart. "Are you sure?" Waverly asks.

Nicole gives her an empathetic look and scoots next to Waverly. She leans forward to hug her, "I promise, Waves. You could never be annoying. Never apologize for wanting me, in _any_ way. Like I said, I wasn't even talking to you and that was on me."

"No, baby, it was on me too for not bringing this up earlier. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," Waverly says with conviction.

"It’s okay, baby," Nicole says, hugging her again. "I love you, Waverly. I love you so damn much it hurts."

"In a good way?" Waverly asks.

"In the best way ever," Nicole says with a soft laugh.

"I forgive you, too," Waverly says, wiping away a lone tear that had managed to escape Nicole’s eye.

"Thanks, Waverly, but there's something else I need to tell you," Nicole says, her eyes not meeting Waverly’s.

"What's that?" Waverly asks with a thudding heart.

"Last night, I— _oh gosh_ ," Nicole cries. "I didn't mean to Waverly, I swear. I don't know what happened."

Waverly hugs Nicole to her chest as the redhead sobs, "Hey, it's okay. I'm here. Whatever happened, I know we can get through it together." It didn’t feel good—lying to Nicole—but it had to be done.

"Waverly, I cheated," Nicole says in between heart-wrenching sobs.

It's not a reaction most people would feel if their partner told them they cheated, but Waverly felt relief and let out a sob.

Nicole parted from Waverly and looked at her with horrified eyes. "I'm so, so sorry. I know I can't apologize, but Waverly you _have_ to believe me, I didn't kiss back. I didn't want to and it was all so fast—"

"Nicole," Waverly says.

“—and when she asked me to take her home, I just said yes because I was too drunk to pay attention to what I was saying, to say no, but I never wanted to sleep with her, Waverly. You have to believe me. I never wanted to."

"Nicole!" Waverly says louder.

"No, I need to explain. I—"

"Nicole, it's okay!" Waverly yells.

Nicole stops dead in her tracks. "What?"

"I said it's okay," Waverly says, taking Nicole’s hands in hers.

" _No_ , it's not. I don't think you understand. I cheated. She kissed me! I brought her home!" Nicole yells in utter disbelief.

Waverly’s shoulders fall. "I know."

"What? What do you mean you know?" Nicole asks, confusion momentarily replacing her dread.

"I didn't get to New York this morning," Waverly admits. "I came here last night."

"Here as in—"

"As in this floor," Waverly says, looking down.

"And you saw what happened," Nicole says as all emotions she’d felt in the last 24 hours come back ten-fold.

Waverly nods solemnly.

"Why didn't you come out? Why didn't you say anything?" Nicole asks. "Wait, did you see me crying after she left?"

Waverly meets Nicole’s eyes with guilt, "Yes."

"So, you were okay with everything, but you left me alone?" Nicole says angrily, taking her hands back as if Waverly had a contagious disease.

"Yes, but you need to let me explain," Waverly says in a calm voice. She had prepared for this reaction. She knew that what she’d done was a dick move and was sure that Nicole would get angry.

"No! I needed you and you weren't there," Nicole says.

"Nicole, please! You brought her home! You betrayed my trust," Waverly yells, sadness in her eyes.

Nicole looks at her with sad eyes and furrowed eyebrows. "But you just said it was okay," she argued weakly.

"And it is—because you told me."

"I don't understand," Nicole says.

"I was hurt when I saw you with Riley," Waverly starts.

"Oh God, you even know her name," Nicole says with guilt, a small sob escaping her throat.

Waverly takes her hand again, making sure that Nicole’s okay with it, and nods. "I came up just before what happened happened. I saw you push her away when she kissed you, but the fact that you'd brought her to your home in the first place still hurt me, Nicole.

Like I said, you betrayed my trust. If I would've walked up to you after she left, I would've been left asking myself  _would she have told me_? And though I’ll always love you, my trust wouldn't be at 100% when I left because what if, when things got hard again, you would go out and bring a girl home again? But this time things would go farther?"

"That would never happen," Nicole interrupts.

"I know, Nicole. I understand that now, and I trust you not only because you told me but because I saw that you didn't want to kiss Riley. I saw that when you told her you were dating me and that you loved me, you meant it." She pauses for a second. "And I’m sorry too, for leaving you like that, and for pretending that I didn’t know."

Nicole lets out a long sigh and doesn’t say anything for a while, processing Waverly’s words. "It’s okay,” she finally says. “I understand why you did it. Frankly, you had every right to do that."

"Thank you," Waverly says, “for understanding, for believing me, for being so forgiving.”

Some may say that it was too easy, too unrealistic that Waverly could forgive Nicole that fast, and maybe it was, but she didn’t care. She loved Nicole like no one before and she understood what she understood. She wasn’t going to let her go that easily.

Champ had cheated, _really_ cheated. Nicole was kissed by a girl she didn’t want to kiss. She knew the difference, and people deserve second chances. If someone disagreed, well then that was their own opinion and she respected it, but it’s not what she wanted to listen to.

"It's a damn good thing I've never been good at hiding my emotions," Nicole says, cracking a small, sad smile.

Waverly smiles at her. "It's one of the things I love about you. How I can read your eyes so easily."

"And what are they saying now?" Nicole asks, her eyes burning into Waverly’s.

"They're saying that you're sorry and that if you could take everything back you would,” Waverly says. “And also that you're going to take me out and show me the city,” she adds.

Nicole laughs and throws herself onto Waverly so that she falls against the couch.

"I love you. How did I ever get so lucky?" Nicole asks into Waverly’s neck.

"Weird. I ask myself that question all the time too. I love you too, Nicole."

"A lot?" Nicole asks as she tightens her hold on Waverly.

Waverly giggles. "A lot, a lot. Now, Nicole?"

"Yeah, love?"

"Kiss me."

"Okay." Nicole leans down and takes Waverly's lips in her own. Nicole kisses her softly, lightly nibbling on her bottom lip, and it feels like a second first kiss. Waverly moans into her mouth and deepens the kiss, exploring Nicole's mouth with her tongue, only there's no hesitance like in the first kiss. Nicole separates herself and moves down to Waverly's neck, leaving wet, open-mouth kisses. She hates hickeys (on exposed areas), so she makes sure not to leave any on Waverly.

"You know how you want me to show you the city?" Nicole asks in between the kisses.

"Yeah. Show me later," Waverly says, bringing Nicole's lips back up to hers.

"Read my mind," Nicole says. She runs her hands down Waverly’s body and takes off her shirt. Her hands go to her breasts automatically and makes Waverly groan in pleasure. Waverly takes off her own bra and throws it so it lands on top of the T.V.

"Bedroom. Now," Waverly manages to say.

Nicole carries Waverly to the bedroom, who somehow managed to leave her pants in the hallway. Nicole throws Waverly down onto the bed and takes off her own shirt.

Waverly flips them around and kisses Nicole’s stomach before taking off her shorts along with her underwear. Nicole flips them again and pushes Waverly back to take off her underwear, kissing every inch of her right leg until it's off.

Waverly meets Nicole's eyes and smiles at her—her smile loving, but her eyes hungry. "You know why else I love that I can read your eyes?"

Nicole sits on her waist, bending down to kiss Waverly hard. "Why's that?"

"Because I can tell how bad you want me, and that just makes me want you more."

"Then take me, Waverly Earp," Nicole whispers into her ear.

Waverly nods and kisses Nicole passionately, switching their positions, and sliding her hand down to do just that.

❧

Later that day, Waverly and Nicole walk into a restaurant hand in hand. They take their seats before a waitress says _I’ll be back to take your order_. The restaurant is filled, full of what looks like only couples. The restaurant is your typical ‘small tables with long, white cloth over it and romantic music filling the air’ type of place. It’s exactly what both women wanted.

"You know, we were so caught up in exploring, talking about other stuff and _not_ talking,” Nicole smirks, “that I didn't even ask how long you’re staying," Nicole says.

"I leave the night after tomorrow," Waverly says, not missing the disappointment in Nicole's eyes.

Waverly grabs her hand across the table and gives it firm squeeze. "Hey, don't look so sad, pretty girl. I'll be back next month."

Nicole looks at her with delighted surprise. "Oh! You're still coming?"

"Of course! Do you not want me to?" Waverly asks slowly.

Nicole snorts. "No, I just figured that because you came early, you wouldn't come again."

"I would fly down every month if I could, Nicole. And I know that you would, too," Waverly says.

Nicole nods, her eyes filled with pure love once again, and she kisses the back of Waverly's hand. Their waitress comes back and takes their order.

"Do you have to work tomorrow?" Waverly asks once the waitress leaves.

"If I'm being honest, I'd completely forgotten that I work," Nicole laughs. "But yes, I do. I'm sorry to leave you, but it’s not like I can just can't skip out," Nicole says. But then what she said registers in her mind and she adds, "What am I saying? You flew all the way down here and I'm thinking of going to work? I can skip out," she says with a wave of a hand that says _no big deal._

"Hey, no. I came here because we fought and I wanted us to make up. We did, so...you know what I'm just gonna go back home. I came here for what we needed and I’m coming back next month, so who cares, right?" Waverly says with a bright smile.

Nicole's eyes widen. "What? No—"

Waverly laughs. "I’m kidding. Too soon?" She asks when she sees the shock on Nicole’s face.

"Much," Nicole says with a smile playing on her face.

Waverly says, "Really, though. I didn't come here to get you to stop working. I don't want to be the reason you don't end up doing what you gotta do. I'll be fine alone, promise."

"Are you sure?" Nicole asks.

Waverly moves her chair next to Nicole's and puts her hand on her knee. "Positive."

"Okay, well I only have the morning shift, and it's 5 hours, so I'll be back by 12:30 and we can have the rest of the day to ourselves."

Waverly nods and they’re silent for a moment, both lost in their own thoughts again.

"Do you want to know why I work so hard, Waverly?" Nicole asks, breaking the silence as they wait for their meals.

The question takes Waverly by surprise. "Because you want to be good at your job and to gain respect. That's what you said, right?"

"Yeah, but there's a deeper reason. A few actually, but only one that stands out from the rest."

"I didn’t know that. What is it?" Waverly asks with a smile.

"Not what—who," Nicole clarifies.

"Who?"

Nicole smiles because of Waverly's obliviousness. "Yes, _who_."

"Well, then _who's_ your deeper reason?"

Nicole laughs and shakes her head. " _You_ , Waverly. You're my deeper reason."

Waverly looks at Nicole with obvious shock. "Me? What do I have to do with you working hard?" She asks.

"You make me want to be a better person, Waverly, truly. I know I can succeed because I'm strong, but you, my love, you make me stronger. You make the impossible seem possible."

Waverly is left speechless. A best-selling author, one that loves and respects words and has always been good at expressing herself through them, stumbles on her words. What comes out is only meaningless sounds, the beginnings of letters, until she's left with no choice but to just kiss Nicole. So, she does exactly that.

She leans forward and kisses Nicole hard, saying everything in the kiss she can't say with words. They didn’t notice, but their waitress was coming back with their food, and when she saw them, she smiled and just waited for them to part.

"No one’s ever told me something like that before. No one’s ever made me feel so special before—so wanted, so _needed_ ," Waverly says.

Nicole gives her a wide smile. "I’ll always need you, Waverly. You're the air I breathe."

Waverly feels a warmth in her chest, stronger than before. "I love you, Nicole Haught. As long as you'll have me, I will always want to you too."

❧

Waverly walks into Nicole’s apartment at 12:50 expecting to find Nicole home but comes up only with an empty place. She’d spent most of the morning wondering around Greenwhich Village and spent the last hour and a half at _Grounded_ _Organic Coffee & Tea House_ writing another short story that she’d been itching to write.

She wasn’t sure when she’d fallen in love with the horror genre, but one day she wrote a story—only about 1,500 words—and when she’d read it she thought it was pretty good. Pretty good turned out to be really great when she wrote _Revenants_.

As a horror story creator, her mind would be filled with sick, dark plots during random parts of the day. She’d see a zombie apocalypse in a grocery store, or think about what a cannibal would do if no humans were left on Earth. That’s why when she didn’t find Nicole home when she was supposed to be home 20 minutes ago, she can’t help that her mind goes to the worst possibility.

The abundance of thoughts running through her mind and the worry she feels makes her realize that this is the first of probably thousands of times she’ll worry if Nicole isn’t home on time. She knew that had Nicole chosen a dangerous profession, but she hadn’t been around to really take what she’d chosen into mind. It made her feel a little guilty too.

She waits another half hour sitting in front of the television watching a re-run episode of _That 70’s Show_ , but not really watching when she hears the doorknob jiggle.

"Hey, baby," Nicole says cheerfully as she walks into her apartment.

Waverly lets out a sigh of relief before turning to her girlfriend. "Hey, pretty girl." She takes in Nicole in her uniform and her eyes widen. "Whoa, ‘pretty girl’ seems a little uhh— _wow_."

Nicole laughs at her speechless girlfriend. "Wow, you too," she says wrapping her arms around her waist. "Have I ever told you that you look beautiful in the afternoon?" Nicole asks.

"Oh, shut up," Waverly says with a roll of her eyes. "But, thank you," she says sweetly before kissing her girlfriend. "I like to think that your blazer looks better on me than it does on you, but I know it’s not true."

"Oh, believe me, babe, it’s true," Nicole says. "So, listen, I know I said we could have the day to ourselves, but do you maybe want to meet Alex?" Nicole asks.

"Oh, God, I’d forgotten about her," Waverly admits. "I was so focused on us, but yes! I love Alex."

"More than me?" Nicole asks as she leads Waverly to the couch, who sits on her lap.

"Just a bit."

"Fucker," Nicole says with a glare, her forehead against Waverly’s.

"I don't want to fuck her," Waverly says.

"Waverly!" Nicole laughs hard.

"Sorry, bad joke," Waverly says, laughing anyway.

"Anyway, I’m glad you agreed because I may or may not have picked her up already, which is why I was late by the way, sorry about that. And she may or may not be across the street buying some beer."

Alex walks in the second Nicole finishes her sentence. "Hey, lovebirds," she says.

Waverly turns to her with a bright smile. "Alex!" She says, going to hug her after she puts down the case of beer on the floor. The hug reminds Nicole of when she met Wynonna and she realizes how much she missed the eldest Earp. She hadn’t talked to Waverly too much, but she’d talked to Wynonna even less and couldn’t help the guilt that settled in her chest. She made a mental note to call her later, _and everyone else_ , she adds after a second thought. She missed her family.

"Wow, you are so much hotter in person," Waverly says, checking out Alex unashamedly.

"Me?" Alex says in shock. "Girl, you’re gorgeous!"

"Why thank you," Waverly says, fluttering her eyelashes.

"‘Hey, Nicole. You’re hot too’ ‘ _Oh, thanks, Alex_ ,’" Nicole says from the couch, glaring at the pair.

"You’ve been my best friend for how many years now? You know I think you’re hot," Alex says.

"Yeah, but it’s still nice to hear," Nicole mumbles under her breath, making Waverly and Alex laugh before they sit.

"Alex, Nicole tells me that you got accepted into the NYPD too," Waverly says, impressed.

"Yeah, but I don’t start until next month when one of their cops retire. I would’ve had the job now, but I wasn’t first in our class like Nicole,” Alex glares. “I was _second_."

"Both of you were top of your class?" Waverly asks in shock.

"Yup," Nicole says with a proud smile. "We pushed each other hard, but I was first because Alex didn’t have an awesome boyfriend like I had an awesome girlfriend to motivate me."

Waverly gives her a smile with heart eyes. Alex gags. _So Wynonna_ , Nicole thinks.

"Save that stuff for when I leave, please," Alex says. The couple laughs and they continue talking.

"Can I ask you something?" Alex asks after an hour as she looks at Waverly.

"Of course," Waverly says.

"I'm not asking you to obviously, but why don't you move to New York? I mean, you're an author. You don't have to live in Purgatory."

"Alex," Nicole hisses.

"No, it's okay, Nicole," Waverly says to her before turning to Alex. "It's a selfish reason," Waverly admits. "And I swear I don't mean to be rude, but it's a reason that I'm not comfortable discussing with you."

Alex gives her a comforting smile, "I understand. But I do hope that you tell Nicole."

"I will. I promise," Waverly says, confidently meeting Alex’s eyes.

Alex gives her a curt nod. "Well, I have to go," she says getting up.

"Aw, why?" Nicole asks.

"Oh please, don't pretend to be sad."

"Hmm, you're right. Get out," Nicole says.

Alex rolls her eyes and hugs Nicole. Waverly gets up and hugs her too. "You're good for her, Waverly," Alex whispers when she gets close.

Waverly gives her a squeeze in response. "It was nice meeting you, _officially._  I'll see you next month?"

"You can count on it," Alex says. She waves to them and leaves the apartment. The couple turns to look at each other.

"So..." Nicole says.

"So..." Waverly copies as she walks up to Nicole and ties her arms around her neck.

Nicole smiles at her. "You are beautiful, Waverly Earp," she says as she runs her hand down her cheek. Waverly gives her a grin and kisses her long and soft.

When Nicole pulls apart, she kisses her nose before sitting them down on the couch again.

"You want to know why I don't move to New York now, ha?" Waverly asks, leaning against the couch's arm and throwing her legs on Nicole who in turn mindlessly plays with the cuffs of her jeans.

"Only if you want to tell me. I'm just curious, why did you say it was a selfish reason?" Nicole asks, her lips slightly turned down.

"Because it is," Waverly says, looking up at the ceiling. "I'm just not ready."

"Ready? To what? To live with me? Because—"

"No," Waverly interrupts, looking at Nicole now. "To leave Purgatory."

"Oh," Nicole says. "Why not?"

"Until 3 years ago, my only family was Wynonna. She was dating Doc, but I didn't know him too well at the time. And I love her with everything, but I was lonely. I had Champ for a while, but he was never family. But then I met Dolls, and Jeremy, and Rosita, and we became a family. They loved me and accepted me exactly as I was. Like Jeremy said, no one ever asked me to change.

From the time my mama left us to then, I had no one. And I thought everyone left because I was me. I know it's been 3 years, but it's not until recently that I accepted that I'm not the reason people leave, that I'm a person and not a monster. I'm not ready to leave my family behind, not when I just got them," Waverly says. "That's not to say you're not my family too," Waverly rushes out. "I'm sorry."

"Hey, no, it's okay, Waves," Nicole says, signaling for Waverly to sit beside her. She puts her arm around her and kisses the side of her head. "I understand," Nicole says. "It's okay. Like you said, you're just not ready yet."

Waverly looks up at her with a cheeky smile. She knew that the 'yet' wasn't just used in that sentence for no reason. "Exactly, _yet_. But I _am_ sorry. I don't mean to be annoying or anything. I mean there must be some part of you that thinks I should grow up, ha?" Waverly asks with forced laughter.

The frown of confusion Nicole wore earlier deepened, her eyebrows furrowed too. She meets Waverly’s eyes. "Waves, don't do that. I already told you, you’re not some _nuisance_. I'm not thinking anything but _I respect your decision_ , okay?"

Waverly nods, her heart swelled. "Okay, pretty girl. Thank you," Waverly says before giving Nicole a peck on the lips. "You've got a good heart, Nicky."

The comment makes Nicole's cheeks turn a light pink.

"Don't let it get your head though, babe," Waverly says.

"It's too late. I can literally feel my head swelling."

"What should I do?" Waverly asks.

"Well, it's too late to go back now. So, maybe you should just continue to say nice things like that," Nicole suggests.

"Ha, nice try," Waverly says getting up.

"Hey, where are you going?"

"Your bedroom. I'm having sex with or without you."

"What? How even—"

Waverly raises her brows suggestively.

Nicole physically gulps and Waverly doesn't bother to hold in her laughter. In turn, Nicole gets up with eyes filled with amusement, runs to Waverly, and carries her bridal style. Waverly lets out a surprised squeal, and laughs in her chest as Nicole walks them into her bedroom.

❧

Waverly walks into Nicole's room with 2 mugs of coffee in hands. It’s not too early—8:30 to be exact—but both girls feel exhausted from their touristy day out in the city yesterday. It was one of the greatest days both girls had had in a while, and even though they were tired, they were prepared to do it again considering it was Waverly’s last day in New York.

"Wynonna texted that she wants to FaceTime me. You want to join?" Waverly asks as she sets down their mugs on the nightstand.

"Yeah, I miss Wynonna. I haven't talked to her in a while," Nicole says with obvious guilt. Waverly just kisses her cheek and sits down in between Nicole's legs before calling.

"Hi, Nonna," Waverly and Nicole say when her sister's face pops onto her screen.

"Hey, you guys are smiling," Wynonna points out. "Does this mean you idiots made out—I mean _up_?"

"Yeah," Waverly says after rolling her eyes. "We're good."

"Good," Wynonna says. "Because, and I’ll decline that I said this if you ask me later, but I wouldn't believe in love if it weren't for you two."

Nicole laughs. "What are you talking about? You and Doc started dating before Waverly and me."

"Oh, please," Wynonna scoffs. "You two may have dated other people or had one-night stands since you met, but you two started unofficially dating the second you met. I could always see it, your guys’ love was so obvious I threw up twice a week. It's a marvel how you two didn't get together earlier."

The information comes as a shock to Waverly and Nicole. "Really?" Waverly asks.

Wynonna rolls her eyes. "No, Waves. I'm wasting my breath for no reason."

Waverly gives her the finger and mutters _asshole_ under breath.

"I believe it," Nicole says.

"I always knew you were the smart one in the relationship, Haught," Wynonna says.

"Fuck off," Waverly says. "So, do you miss me? Or did you just call to bother?"

Wynonna throws her a glare. "I just wanted to see how you two were doing. Had to make sure I wouldn't have to go over there and kick Nicole's ass."

Waverly laughs, but Nicole wears a guilty look, Riley popping up into her mind.

"Hey, Nicole," Wynonna says, catching the look. "Waverly forgave you, therefore so do I. Don't sweat it, kid."

Nicole gives her a small smile, and Waverly makes a mental note to talk to her after their call with Wynonna.

"How are you?" Waverly asks, taking the attention off Nicole, who in turns gives her waist a firm squeeze and kisses the back of her neck.

"Fine. I've just been thinking about the whole getting pregnant thing and—"

"You want to have a baby?" Nicole interrupts with shock and excitement.

Wynonna gives Waverly a confused look. "You hadn't told her?"

"You told me not to tell anyone," Waverly says.

Wynonna's eyes soften. "Thank you, baby girl."

"You're a great sister," Nicole whispers in Waverly's ear who gives her a kiss afterward.

"Hey! No secrets or kissing during FaceTime please!" Wynonna interrupts.

"Sorry, Wynonna," Nicole says. "For the record, you would make a great mom."

The words make Wynonna freeze. "Really?" She asks.

"Of course," Nicole says, not noticing the internal dialogue going on in Wynonna’s mind. Waverly notices and she smiles because her girlfriend is saying exactly what Wynonna needs to hear. "You have a big heart. You care for your friends deeply, I can only imagine the amount of love your kid would get. They'd be lucky to have you."

Wynonna doesn't say anything for a moment, giving Nicole enough time to worry. "Thanks, Haught," Wynonna says, but Waverly can see that she has so much more to say. "I have to get work. Text me what time you'll arrive tomorrow, okay Waves?"

Waverly nods and Wynonna hangs up.

"Did I say something wrong?" Nicole immediately says, worry in her brown eyes.

Waverly laughs softly. "The complete opposite, actually. I'll explain later. But, I want to talk to you about something first."

"You didn’t tell Wynonna about the kiss?" Nicole says, reading Waverly’s mind.

Waverly shakes her head.

"Why not?"

Waverly shrugs. "It doesn’t matter."

“You sure?”

”I am.”

Nicole smiles at her. "Thanks, but if you ever feel like you have to tell her, you have my permission."

"Okay, if I’m being honest, I didn’t hear a word you just said because I really want to kiss you right now."

"Well, I won't be stopping you," Nicole laughs before Waverly's lips meet her own.

30 minutes later, Nicole asks, "Is there anything you want to see today, Waves?"

Waverly thinks for a second. "What about Coney Island?"

"Ooh, I haven’t gone in years. We can go to Luna Park? Have a little carnival date?"

"Sounds amazing," Waverly says, pecking Nicole’s lips. "You know I was actually supposed to come to New York last year?"

"What? When?"

"When I was touring for _The Black Widows_ ," Waverly says. "We could’ve met earlier, but they had to cancel it for a reason that I don’t even remember."

"God, that book was so good. I actually had to sleep with the lights on one night because of how much it had scared me. Can I get it autographed?" Nicole asks, with a faux fan-girl voice.

Waverly rolls her eyes. "Come on, let's take a shower so we can have our cheesy date!"

❧

By 11:00, Waverly’s asking Nicole, "Can we go to the Coney Art Walls?"

"Yeah," Nicole smiles. "I haven't gone since my parents took me just before they died."

"Do you remember that day?" Waverly asks as she allows Nicole to lead her.

"Not really, I was only 4. But my grandma had all of the pictures we took. I have them in some boxes probably. I haven't looked at them in forever,” Nicole admits.

"We don't have to go back if you don't want."

"No, it's okay. I was just reminiscing, I guess."

Waverly nods and gives her a kiss on the cheek. "Okay." They arrive and take a million and one selfies and pictures after asking strangers to take them. Afterwards, they take a walk on the boardwalk. But by the time Waverly says the word _Cyclone_ , Nicole can’t help but freeze.

"Let’s ride the Cyclone now!" Waverly says with obvious excitement.

Nicole looks at her with wide eyes. "Uhh—you sure you want to do that?"

"Of course, or wait a minute. Nicole Haught are you afraid of roller coasters?"

"No!" Nicole says defensively. "I'm scared of _this_ rollercoaster."

Waverly can't contain her laughter. "Why?"

"Look at it! That thing is not stable. It could literally crash down at any second."

"Oh my God, Nicole. Let's go."

"What? Where?"

"To the rollercoaster," Waverly says as a matter-of-factly.

"Uh-uh. Nope. No thank you," Nicole says with a dramatic shake of her head.

"Please? For me?" Waverly asks, looking at Nicole through her eyelashes.

Nicole looks at her with hesitance and lets out a groan. "Fine! You win. But you owe me," she says with narrowed eyes.

"I think I can come up with something," Waverly winks and she walks away, her hips swaying more than usual.

Nicole gulps and walks to catch up with her girlfriend to get in line. She grabs her hand and doesn't let go until they're off of the ride.

"See? That wasn't so bad was it?" Waverly says.

"Wasn't so bad? I'm pretty sure I felt that thing shake like 5 times! How do you still feel your hand?" Nicole asks.

"It did not, and who says I feel it? I’m pretty sure I’m going to have to chop it off later," Waverly laughs. "Come on, I'll start making it up to you now. Lead me to a good place to eat and I'll pay."

"It _is_ the least you can do," Nicole follows grumpily. Waverly bites back her smile.

Nicole's face suddenly brightens. "We're eating _Totonno's_ pizza. There’s no debating."

"Pizza sounds so unhealthy and delicious, sign me up," Waverly moans.

Nicole lets out a laugh as she leads them to the place.

"But afterward, we have to do all cheesy stuff we can think of!" Waverly says.

"What? You want me to win you something?" Nicole laughs.

Waverly glares at her. " _Yes_."

"Why don't you win _me_ something?"

"Who says I won't? You've seen my aim. I‘m amazing at practically everything here."

"Is that a challenge, Miss Earp?"

"Hell yes,” Waverly says as they enter the place.

By the time they make their way back to Nicole’s apartment for Waverly to pack, Waverly has a unicorn in her lap and Nicole has a small Mickey Mouse in the back. It was the perfect day, and despite Waverly leaving, the thought wasn’t even in the back of their minds the whole time because she’d be back again next month.

❧

Waverly and Nicole walk hand in hand to the appropriate gate. Waverly can't help but think about this same event happening almost 3 months ago and how different everything else is this time around.

She's still sad, that will probably never change when they have to leave each other at the airport, but it wasn't like last time—she was _heartbroken_ when Nicole left her. She couldn't even drive home for God's sake.

Today she feels more confident. Her trip had caused her and Nicole to become closer than ever before. Despite everything, she had more trust in Nicole than before because she‘d shown her and over and over again that she loved her and with just a _look_ , Waverly could feel it.

The sky was dark and though she couldn't see as many stars as she saw in Purgatory, she didn't feel lonely this time. Though she felt sadness, there was no doubt that her excitement for visiting again next month was overpowering it.

This time there was no doubt—everything would be okay.

Waverly looks over at her girlfriend until Nicole meets her eyes. When she did, Waverly threw her arm around Nicole's waist, who in turn threw her arm around Waverly's neck. Waverly kissed her cheek.

"I'm going to miss you, pretty girl," Waverly says.

"Me too, love," Nicole says, kissing her head. "And Waverly?"

"Yes?"

"Just one more time, I'm sorry." Waverly wants to stop them, take Nicole's face in her hands, and remind her one more time that it's okay, but she's already running late.

"Nicole, my biggest love ever, it's okay. I _promise_ you. Just remember that things have to change this time around, okay? I know I’ll put in more effort. We deserve it."

Nicole nods, "I promise I will. And thanks, again, for forgiving me. I love you."

Waverly rolls her eyes lightheartedly. "I love you, dipshit." They reach the gate, but before Waverly walks into her plane, she turns to Nicole.

She sees worry in Nicole's eyes and she knows it's because the hesitance in her eyes is obvious.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Nicole asks, putting Waverly's hair behind her ear.

"Nicole, can I ask you something?" Waverly asks looking at Nicole's cheek.

"Yes, of course. You can ask me anything, baby. You know that."

Waverly nods, only half listening. "As you know, I've been wanting to write a memoir."

"Really? I hadn't noticed with the books you carry around everywhere," Nicole says.

Waverly throws her a glare, but the smile on her face betrays her false annoyance. She appreciates Nicole for trying to calm her down. She hesitates with her next words. "What if I write the memoir about us?" She asks, worry and doubts in her eyes.

Nicole doesn't say anything for a moment and just looks at her with wide eyes. "You want to write about _us_?"

Nicole's face only makes Waverly doubt her idea even more. "I wouldn't start writing it now. I'd start with the notes and stuff, just getting everything that I remember out there. But, of course, I'd need your permission. If you don't want me to do it, I understand. You know what, saying it out loud, maybe it _is_ a bad idea, I mean we _have_ only been dating for nine months, and—"

Waverly gets cut off when Nicole's lips land on hers in a hard kiss. A smile takes over her face when she feels Nicole smile into it.

Waverly is breathless when Nicole parts. "I'll take that as a yes?" Waverly asks.

"I think it's a great idea, Waverly. It's a lot, honestly, but it's a great idea."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure, babe. Now get out of here before your plane leaves you behind."

"That wouldn't be such a bad thing," Waverly says.

Nicole laughs and brings her in for a hug, her hand on Waverly's hair and Waverly's cheek pressed against her chest. Then she kisses her one last time.

"Text me when you land. I love you," Nicole says again.

"I love you too. Bye!" Waverly says, running through the gate.

Waverly takes her seat on the plane and looks out the window, breathing out a sigh of relief as everything the couple had gone through hits her like a ton of bricks.

_Yeah. We'll be alright._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What’d you think? Is you heart full again? Let me know down below! All feedback is appreciated and so are your kind words <3
> 
> Also, I hope I answered any questions you may have had in this chapter!


	9. The End of Watch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, hope you like this chapter
> 
> Happy reading :-)

_I was very young when I bought my first home—just shy of 21. People found me insane; asked_ is it really necessary? _I said,_ I’ve got the money, leave me alone. But, you know, less rude.

_I was ecstatic when I moved in. I had a place to call my own, a place I could do whatever I wanted to do with it. Paint the walls black and white and red, and smash them down afterwards if I wanted. I felt like I’d accomplished something vital in my life, besides writing a bestseller, of course._

_I’d bought a place that would be my comfort, my warmth. A place where maybe someday I’d be married to a wonderful man or woman. I’d build another room or two, depending on the number of children we would have. I’d mark their heights on one of the doorways, and when they grew up and left, they’d know where to find me._

_When Nicole and I were living in that home, amazing things happened. Memories were made, some good, some bad, but never anything that I’d ever want to change. I realized that when Nicole was there, I felt more at home then when I lived there myself._

_That’s why when she asked me the question that I knew was inevitable, it was easy to say yes. Because by then I was coming to terms with what—_ who _—my home really was._

_I was ready._

❧

Waverly and Nicole had come to an agreement.

It was October 17th when they came to it. Nicole said, “In one year, let’s see where we’re at. Maybe by then you’ll be ready to, you know, come live with me.”

Waverly was hesitant, having imagined a life in the home she bought, but Nicole had said _let’s just see._ So, she agreed. A lot could happen and change in one year.

2 months into that “year,” things were going great. Waverly had gone back to New York—2 weeks this time—and had a heavenly time with Nicole (and Alex). Everything had been so domestic and warm that Waverly was sure that her heart had burst at least 3 times. They went on romantic dates, and fun dates, but Waverly enjoyed the nights they stayed in just as much.

They’d gotten impossibly closer. They had learned to open up, they called each other on a daily basis, and if they ever felt the need to talk about them as a couple, they would. They’d had more fights, what couple doesn’t? But, they always talked it through, and they were never as bad as the one that led to Waverly in New York.

At the time, the fight was the worst thing they’d ever gone through as a couple, but now they both looked at it as the _best_   they’ve gone through. If it weren’t for the fight, who knows what would’ve happened? Would they have broken up? Maybe they would’ve stopped talking, less and less, until someone just called it quits and neither seemed to really care?

All they know is that if it weren’t for the fight, they wouldn’t have been as happy and trustworthy as they are now.

But that’s not to say that Waverly hadn’t been the tiniest bit worried when she wasn’t in New York with Nicole for the first month. She trusted Nicole, or so she said, but their was still that question of _what if_? It was that doubt that had gotten them into a few fights, but they moved on from it, their trust gained back fully.

In December, Nicole had gone down to Purgatory with Alex for a Few days for Christmas, but they had to leave before New Year’s because both women would be working the dreaded midnight shifts. They’d become a quite popular pair at the precinct. though both still considered rookies, they weren’t to be messed with.

From replacing the sugar with salt, to taking when they _were_ pranked with pride, they were a pair that everyone had fallen in love with. They were a part of the family now. Nicole had 2 families now, and they both warmed her heart.

January had been a hard month for the couple. They’d started dating on January 17th of the year before, and Nicole had asked for a couple days off months earlier. For two weeks, it was all they could talk about. _What should we do? Will you come down or will I come up? Fancy restaurant or take-out?_ Neither girls had ever really celebrated events like that, but they were different. They deserved to be celebrated because holy shit had they gone through a lot. They wanted to celebrate their love and accomplishments as a couple.

But, they didn’t.

2 days before Waverly was scheduled to fly to New York, she got a call from Nicole saying that Alex’s dad had passed away. She had to be there for her best friend. The funeral was on January 17th.

Waverly’s heart had broken for Alex, but mainly for them. It was supposed to be a special day. But she understood, _obviously_ she understood. She’d called Alex after their call and said the lines that are supposed to be said when someone loses a loved one.

Afterwards, Waverly lay in her bed and thought about how much she hated long distance relationships, the thousands of miles between her and Nicole, and the bullshit the Universe threw at them.

She wrote a couple sentences about just that for her memoir.

❧

January 25:

 **Waverly:** “Aliens are real”

 **Nicole:** No Waves, that’s ridiculous

 **Waverly:** Yes they are!!

 **Nicole:** What? I never said they weren’t... I’m talking about the suggestion!!

 **Waverly:** Oh. Right. I was kidding.

 **Nicole:** about what

 **Waverly:** What do you mean? I’m confused??

 **Nicole:** Me too

 **Waverly:** I hate texting

 **Nicole:** Me too

 **Waverly:** I don’t hate you though

 **Nicole:** WAVERLY

 **Waverly:** Okay, okay, sorry. Um, seriously...what about one of those minimalist cat tattoos

 **Nicole:** ew no, I love cats, but no. Never

 **Waverly:** well then why are you asking me, it’s your body!

 **Nicole:** because I need your help!!!

 **Waverly:** Fine uhhh....

 **Nicole:** ‘Uhhhh,’ not your worst suggestion

 **Waverly:** i hate you

 **Nicole:** No, you don’t.

 **Waverly:** fuck off

 **Nicole:** Not until you give me a tattoo idea. I have 20 minutes!

 **Waverly:** Why?!

 **Nicole:** I told you! Ever since Alex’s dad died, she’s been “owning life” or whatever and yesterday she said “Let’s get tattoos” and I said “dude yes” and she set an appointment for today, I didn’t think she was serious!!

 **Waverly:** Still not getting why you’re getting a tattoo.......

 **Nicole:** I can’t back out! She’ll think I’m scared and I’ll never live it down, babe!!

 **Waverly:** Yeah but it’s a permanent mark on your body, you’re supposed to think about it seriously

 **Nicole:** Not really, people get random, cheap tattoos on friday the 13th.

 **Waverly:** Yes but you’re not those people

 **Nicole:**......I know

 **Waverly:** Don’t get a tattoo (unless you really think about it) I have to go, bye. I love you

 **Nicole:** *middle finger emoji* *heart emoji*

❧

“I’m going to Purgatory,” Nicole says as they talk on the phone. Waverly’s at a coffee shop in Purgatory, writing, have needed to get away from Purgatory for a couple of hours. She loves the town, but sometimes it’s a little too restricting for her liking.

“Are you sure? I don’t want you to miss any work,” Waverly says as she takes a sip of her cold coffee. It was originally scorching hot—the burn she got on her tongue would be felt until tomorrow—and she’d forgotten about it once she started to write.

“I didn’t get my days off last month,” Nicole says. “I’m just making up for that. Alex is okay now. You know, as okay as she _can_ be, and my boss said that she understood. I know we’re a few week late, but who says that we can’t celebrate our one year anniversary now?” The excitement in Nicole’s voice makes Waverly smile.

“You sure?” Waverly asks again.

Nicole laughs. “Positive, I’m flying down the morning after tomorrow? Does that sound good?”

“It sounds like the greatest thing I’ve heard in a while. Give Alex a hug and kiss for me, okay? Text me the details later.”

Nicole says goodbye, and she hangs up the phone. She keeps her eyes on it, containing herself from jumping up and down, squealing like a high school senior who’s just been asked to the Prom.

It didn’t matter how many times it would happen, Waverly would always be excited about being able to see her girlfriend. They still did live apart, you know? And not just a couple blocks or a different city—they lived in different countries. So fuck anyone who thought that she was being too happy about it. Being with her girlfriend—truly being with her—was one of her life’s greatest joys.

She stopped the horror story she was working on and flipped to a blank page to write a sappy love story.

❧

“Have I ever told you that I love your home?” Nicole asks as she walks into Waverly’s house. She breathes in the scent of all that is Waverly.

“You hadn’t actually,” Waverly says. She wants to tell her what she’s always hoped becomes of the home, but it’d probably just come off as guilting Nicole to move to Purgatory. She bites her cheek instead.

Nicole puts down her bag on Waverly’s sofa before going to wrap her arms around Waverly’s waist. “Home sweet home, right?” She asks.

Waverly hugs Nicole and breathes her in deeply. “Home sweet home,” she says. Both women understand what they‘re not talking about the house or even Purgatory.

After Nicole pulls apart she says, “Happy one year anniversary.” She kisses Waverly passionately, her arms tight around her waist.

“Happy one year...and a little more than a month!” Waverly says back with a grin when she pulls apart.

“Can’t forget the month,” Nicole chuckles. “I got you something.”

“You did?” Waverly asks with a smile, the smile in her eyes too.

“Of course! Hold on, close your eyes,” Nicole says with excitement.

Waverly rolls her eyes but closes them anyway. She waits for about 2 minutes ( _where did she go?_ ) before Nicole tells her to open them up again. She opens her eyes to a hand in front of her face—well, the _side_ of a hand. Nicole is on her knees, her long sleeve rolled up.

Waverly’s eyes land on the side of her wrist. Her heart stops (in a good way).

“Oh my God,” she mutters. She feels a million things at once.

“Do you like it?” Nicole asks with hesitance and nerves swirling around her eyes. Waverly thinks she sees some fear too, but she doesn’t answer. Her eyes are set on cursive _W_.

“I got it for 2 reasons,” Nicole rushes out, as if not wanting to hear what Waverly’s going to say. “First of all, you’re writing a _book_ about us which I know will be another bestseller, and I don’t know...I know you shouldn’t get tattoos about a partner especially when you’re _just_ dating, but—but also, it’s not just about you.”

“What do you mean?” Waverly asks, her shock momentarily forgotten.

“The W also stands for Willow.”

Waverly’s chest warms and small smile creeps it’s way onto her face. “Your grandma.”

Nicole nods. “I realized that some of the most important people in my life have names that start with W, and I want to honor you all in some way. You’ve all helped me become a better person and loved me for me. I lost my parents, my family, in the accident, but I gained another.” She sounds like she’s trying to justify something that’s already been justified to her.

Waverly’s eyebrows scrunch together. “Wait, you mean—”

“It stands for Wynonna, too.”

Waverly’s heart skips a beat, and she feels tears well in her eyes. Her girlfriend, her amazing, wonderful, angel of girlfriend, got a tattoo that stands for 3 of the most important people in her life and that included her sister. (Maybe Nicole’s future-sister-in law? Was it too early to think about marriage? Nicole _did_  just get a tattoo of her initial.)

“I—wow, Nicole. It’s beautiful, thank you,” Waverly says. But it didn’t feel like enough. “I love you, Nicole Haught.”

Nicole flashes her a grin, and blinks, all doubt and fear gone from her eyes. “I love you, too. I can’t wait to show Wynonna!”

“You know shes going to cry, right?”

Nicole gives her an evil grin. “I know.”

In a few weeks, Waverly would be sitting on her kitchen table. She’d open her journal and write about this very moment. She will title it, “The day I realized I want to marry her,” because maybe Wynonna was right. They’d start dating a long time ago.

“I got you something too,” Waverly says. “I got 2 gifts actually—well, the second one is _sort of_ a gift,” Waverly says while scratching the back of her neck. She goes to her room, leaving Nicole to sit down on the sofa. She comes back with a little box wrapped in silver. She hands it over to Nicole when she sits beside her.

“Wow, it’s gorgeous, Waves!” Nicole says when she wraps and open the box containing a watch. “Thanks, baby!”

“I just figured, now you won’t miss any of our calls, the ones on Saturdays, like you do all of the time,” Waverly says lightheartedly with an eye roll. “But like I said, that’s not the only gift.”

Nicole gives her an excited look. Waverly turns around and takes out paper-clipped papers out of the drawer beside the sofa and hands them over to Nicole.

“What’s this?” Nicole asks, taking the papers into her hands. She looks at the front page of the stack papers. “Chapter 1 and 2,” she mutters. She registers the words and looks up to Waverly with wide eyes. “Is this—”

“A part of our story? Yes.”

“Oh, Waverly. Can I read it now?”

“If you want,” Waverly says with a rare, shy smile. “It could change though. Maybe someday, this will be the 10th chapter instead of the first, you know?”

“Writing is so cool. I wish I could do it,” Nicole says with wonderous eyes.

“Just read, shitface,” Waverly says, turning Nicole’s cheek with her palm towards the page. A half hour later, Waverly’s head is on Nicole’s lap, and Nicole’s playing with her hair. Waverly’s been staring at Nicole’s face the whole time, and she doesn’t know how Nicole’s cheeks don’t hurt from the nonstop smiling. The smile does only little to ease her nerves. She needs to actually _hear_ what Nicole‘s thinking.

Nicole wipes the bottom of her eyes to prevent any tears from falling as she puts the written chapters down beside her.

“What’d you think?” Waverly asks with fear in her eyes. It’s the same look Nicole wore when she showed her the tattoo.

“I don’t think I _can_ think,” Nicole says with a grin. “It’s amazing, Waverly. Truly. You captured us perfectly. Even I’m in love with us, although I _could_ be bias.”

Waverly looks at Nicole with a jaw-dropping smile. “You like it?”

“I love it, baby,” Nicole says, leaning down to take Waverly’s lips in her own. “Like I said, it’s going to be a bestseller.”

Waverly looks down with a shy smile. “Thanks, pretty girl. Can I be honest with you?” Her stomach turning towards Nicole’s stomach.

“Of course,” Nicole says, a tint of worry in her eyes. Her hands pause on Waverly’s hair.

“It’s not bad,” Waverly rushes out. “I just don’t want to go out.” Her voice became higher towards the end, the comment becoming more of a question.

“Confession? I _did_ want to go out, but being here now, I kind of just want to kiss you, amongst other things, and drink champagne. Lots of champagne.”

“Lots of champagne, yes. And you know what goes perfect with it, especially with Rosé champagne?”

Nicole smiles at her, and they simultaneously say, “Chocolate covered strawberries.”

“God, I love you,” Waverly says as she sits up.

Nicole laughs and kisses her forehead before getting up and saying, “Lets go shopping, then.”

“Okay, but we have to make a stop first,” Waverly says. “Wynonna’s not home. Neither is Doc. And I got their keys.”

Nicole gives her a look of confusion, “So?”

“So, I know for a fact that they’ve got bottles of Rosè in their house.”

“Wynonna won’t get mad?” Nicole asks once they enter the jeep.

“Not Wynonna,” Waverly smirks, starting her car.

“Doc?” Nicole asks in shock before laughing loudly.

“He loves that shit. Wynonna told me once when she had too much to drink. Don’t tell a soul or she’ll kill me.”

“Cross my heart,” Nicole says still laughing. The days are still cold, and when she finds a beanie on the seat, she puts it on her head. The sky is blue, but the winds are harsh, but Waverly always loves to have the windows down. She doesn’t seem to mind that the cold cuts her like a thousand knives.

“Nicole, no!” Waverly says when she sees that she’s put on the beanie.

“What? What’s wrong? Is it dirty or something?” Nicole asks before taking off the beanie to inspect it.

“No, you asshole. You just look better than me wearing, so now I have to tell you to keep it!”

“Don’t be ridiculous. I’m sure you look amazing.”

“I never said I didn’t,” Waverly says as a matter-of-factly—it makes Nicole hold in some laughter. “But you look even better, so keep it. I don’t want it.”

“Are you serious?” Nicole asks.

“Yup,” Waverly says shortly, but then she breaks her act and laughs. “I’m kidding.”

“Too late, I’m keeping it. I look good,” Nicole says as she looks at herself in the side mirror.

“Why am I dating you again?” Waverly asks as they get off the car and walk up to Wynonna’s house.

“Cause I’m the coolest person you’ve ever met.”

“What? Says who? I never said that.” Waverly opens the door and they walk into the home. The warmth makes them sigh in relief.

“Your eyes say it all, babe.”

“Let’s just get the Rosè and go,” Waverly says with an eyeroll. “You’re a little shit you know that?”

“You love me anyway,” Nicole shrugs. She finds the champagne and they start to make their way back to the car.

“Wait!” Waverly says just as they open the door. “Let’s leave Doc a note.”

“Let’s send him a selfie of us holding the champagne instead,” Nicole laughs.

“Oh yes,” Waverly says with an evil grin. They make their way back to the the stairs (the bottles of champagne and wine lay under there) and she takes out her phone and holds it up to take a picture with Nicole. Both women are smiling evilly as Nicole holds the bottles and Waverly points to the empty area where they used to lay.

“Lets go before he drives over here passing all of the speed limits,” Waverly says.

“Nedley would not like that,” Nicole says.

“And by Nedley, you mean you, don’t you?” Waverly says as she holds the car door open for Nicole.

“It’s not safe!” Nicole says before muttering a thank you. Waverly laughs and she walks to her side before making their way to the grocery store. When they get there, Waverly gets in the cart.

Nicole rolls her eyes, but the smile on her face betrays any false annoyance. “We don’t even need a cart,” Nicole says as she pushes it towards a random aisle.

“It was the next aisle over, sweetie pie,” Waverly says. “Now what’s your point?”

Nicole makes a U turn, happy to spot the strawberries. “I guess I don’t have a point,” she says as she puts them in the cart.

“I know you don’t,” Waverly says. She gives Nicole a cheeky grin. In turn, Nicole pushes the cart. Hard.

Waverly’s eyes widen as the cart flies forward into a rack filled with magazines. She squeals and covers her face as Nicole stares from afar with wide eyes. Maybe she should’ve aimed the cart towards something more stable. The crash is loud, but there aren’t too many people in the store at the that time to attract attention.

The magazines fall to the ground and in the cart, and Nicole rushes over to Waverly to pick up the things before an employee comes to check what happened. She’s laughing incredibly hard and Waverly hits her shoulder when she gets near her.

“You asshole! Look what you did,” Waverly says, but it’s said through loud laughter. “Here!” Waverly says as she hands her some magazines. “Hurry, someone’s coming!”

“Excuse me, ladies. Everyone okay?” Says a tall woman with a tattoo on her forearm. She seems to be hiding a smile.

“Yup!” Nicole says. “Just wasn’t watching where I was going.” Waverly nods from inside the cart, biting back her laugther.

“Well, don’t worry. I’ve got the magazines. I keep telling the manager to move them because people keep bumping into them. They’re in the middle of nowhere.”

“Yeah,” Nicole nodded. “I blinked and boom, there they were.”

“I get it. Sorry about that. What are you 2 getting today?” Asks the lady as she helps the couple pick up the magazines.

“Just some chocolate-covered strawberries,” Nicole says.

“And Oreos!” Waverly says with a small smile. “I need Oreos.”

Nicole raises her eyebrows at her with a grin. “Right. Oreos,” she says while look at the lady.

“Well, take them for free. I’m sorry about the inconvenience. Just walk out, I’ll tell the cashiers up front to let you go. You two have a good day.”

She walks away without another word.

“Cool,” Waverly says. “Lets go. And by _lets_ I mean me, you’re riding back in the cart. See you in an hour.” Waverly runs back to her jeep—strawberries in hand. Nicole finds some Oreos in the aisle they were originally in and runs after Waverly who’s already in the car when Nicole gets to her.

The doors were locked.

❧

”It’s the way you walk, the way you talk, the way you make me feel inside,” Nicole says as she feeds Waverly a strawberry. “That’s why I love you.”

”Aw,” Waverly says. “That’s an Ariana Grande song, isn’t it?”

Nicole laughs, “Yes. One of her early ones, when I used to listen to her.”

” _Used_  to,” Waverly says. “Right.”

Nicole rolls her eyes and drink some champagne.  Doc had texted Waverly back a bunch of middle fingers and the toy gun, which just made everything much funnier.

”Want to know why I love you, Nicole?” Waverly asks.

Nicole nods, pausing to sit right in front of Waverly Indian style.

”There are so many reasons, but I think that one of the biggest is because you have a huge heart. You’ve gone through so much in your life, but you still have more space for love than most people. You never judge people, you make everyone feel special and heard, and your need to help people is genuine and rare. There isn’t one ounce of bad in you, pretty girl. It’s inspiring.”

”You think I’m inspiring?” Nicole asks, her hand making random patterns on Waverly’s knee, who’d emulated Nicole’s position.

”I think you’re going to make a huge difference in the world,” Waverly admits.

”Want to know what I love most about you?” Nicole asks.

”I do,” Waverly says with a tilt of her head and a smile.

”Your sheer determination. I may be inspiring, but you’re motivating. You’re the reason I want to get up and fight every day because you did that for years and you continue to do so. Even if life is shit, you get up with your head held high and you let no one stop you. Whether it be changing something about yourself, or just getting some coffee to your sister and work, you’ll do in the best and greatest way possible. That’s _one_  of my millions of things that I love about you, Waverly Earp.”

Waverly breathes in deeply. “Thank you, my love.”

Nicole nods and leans forward to kiss Waverly. It starts off gentle and ends that way too. They were transported to the sky and they felt like they were seated on a cloud.

”I want forever with you, Nicole Haught,” Waverly says when she pulls apart, her arms tingly and her heart beating fast. 

Nicole gulps, but nods. “I can promise you that,” she says.

❧

“Nonna!” Waverly says with a smile as they walk into The Black Badge Division, though her eyes are showing a different expression—smugness. Her and Nicole woke up early, wanting to cherish their time together, and decided to surprise Wynonna at work.

Wynonna was punching a bag when she heard her name being called. Nicole crinkled her nose at the smell of the place as she looked around when Wynonna looked at her. Waverly knew what would happen next.

Wynonna glares at Nicole, who doesn’t notice, and she walks up to her and greets her with a punch to the shoulder.

“Hey!” Nicole says with narrowed eyes, her hand clutching her arms. “Why can’t you greet me with a hug like the day we met? It’s alway punches and high fives now!”

“Oh please, I hug you goodbye. That should be enough,” Wynonna says. “But that’s not why I punched you. I punched you because I saw your stupid face when you walked in.”

“You punched me cause you think my face is stupid?” Nicole asks in confusion.

“What?” Wynonna asks, her eyebrows scrunched together. “No! You wrinkled your nose. I know that my gym doesn’t have the best smell, but keep it yourself, you’ll scare off newcomers.”

“I won’t do that. Your gym will. I can actually feel my eyes stinging,” Nicole says. That earns her another punch.

Dolls is leaning against a wall watching the interaction with laughter. He walks up to them and gives Nicole a hug. “Listen, Earp,” he says staring right at Wynonna. “It’s _my_ gym. You just work here. You know that, right?”

“Of course I do,” Wynonna says with an indiscreet wink. “Not for long though,” she adds quietly.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Dolls asks with a faux glare.

“Xavier, you’re a smart dude. You can figure it out.”

Xavier just rolls his eyes and dismisses himself to get into the ring with a scrawny looking young man with a cocky face.

“So, what are you guys doing here? Shouldn’t you be off doing something? Most likely something that would be in a Nicholas Sparks book?”

The couple rolls their eyes at the same time, and Wynonna holds back her laughter.

Waverly’s earlier grin and smug look makes its way to her face again. Nicole rolls her eyes _again_.

“Nicole did the nicest thing in the world, and I hope it doesn’t make you fall in love with her.”

“I’m too good for her,” Wynonna says quickly, her face serious and eyes on Waverly. She can she the offended look on Nicole’s face from her peripherals.

“Conceited little shit,” Nicole says in a bad whisper. It makes the ends up Wynonna’s lips turn up slightly, almost unnoticeably.

“What’d you do, Haughtshit?” Wynonna asks.

Nicole turns suddenly shy. Waverly knew it would happen, and she kisses her girlfriend’s cheek affectionately. Waverly grabs Nicole’s arm and lifts it up to Wynonna’s face, who’s eyes widen in return.

“No shit, you got my sister’s initial on your wrist!” Wynonna says while grabbing Nicole’s arms and moving it closer to her face to inspect the tattoo further. “You know that you can’t break up with her, like, ever now, right?”

Nicole blushes. “That’s the plan,” she says, her eyes meeting Waverly’s, who’s heart melts at the words.

Wynonna gags. Like always. “Never mind about the Nicholas Sparks comment. You guys make _The Notebook_ look bleak,” she says.

“Nicole,” Waverly sings, bringing the attention back to her girlfriend.

Nicole clears her throat. “That’s not all it stands for, though.”

“Oh, no?” Wynonna asks, curiosity in her eyes.

“No, its also stands for, um, Willow! My grandma.”

“Right,” Wynonna says with empathetic eyes. “That’s sweet of you, Haught. You got a good heart, kid.”

Nicole smiles at that. “Thank you. But,” she drags out, “it stands for one more person, too.”

“Well, shit. How many people you got in your life who’s names start with W,” Wynonna laughs. “There’s Waverly, Willow, and...” Wynonna trails off, her eyes slightly widened in realization.

“And _you_ , Wynonna, Nicole says.

Wynonna doesn’t say anything for a moment, then she bursts out laughing. “Good one, Haught. Now tell me who it _really_ stands for. Made a good cop friend or maybe an old childhood friend of yours?”

Nicole just looks at her with a serious face. Waverly has a warm smile on hers. Wynonna knows they’re serious. “It—uhh—it stands for me, too?” Wynonna asks with shock on her face and tears in her eyes.

Nicole nods, a smile on her face. “Wynonna, you and Waves are my family. You may have trouble believing it sometimes, I can see it in your face, but you mean something to me. Get it through your thick skull, yeah?” Nicole says with a chuckle.

Wynonna laughs too, and the only thing she can do is lunge herself forward and hug Nicole. “Thank you,” she says to her. Nicole tightens her hold on her.

They get in the ring, kicking Dolls out, and fight after. Wynonna claimed she needed to sweat out the gooey emotions she was feeling. Nicole just rolled her eyes at her, laughed, and punched her in the face.

❧

“So, Nicole, I’ve been thinking about your next tattoo. My name’s Rosita, Rosy for short, as you know, so I thought that maybe you could get a rose. How’s that sound? Maybe on your forearm?”

“Ooh, make me into a little cartoon, and put me on your other forearm!” Jeremy pitches in.

Nicole scoffs and rolls her eyes in the most dramatic fashion Waverly’s ever seen. “Fuck off,” Nicole says.

“Yeah, guys,” Wynonna says. “You’re not as special as me, get over it.”

“Oh my God,” Nicole mutters as she runs her hands down her face. Waverly laughs beside her and leans sideways to leave a kiss on her shoulder. Nicole extends her arm and throws it over Waverly’s shoulders who cuddles into her further with a satisfied sigh. They loved the cold.

It was late, but they were under the stars at a nearby park. An abundance of blankets lay beneath them, and they’d been talking about anything and everything that the small family could think of. Even Dolls had pitched in the poking fun of Nicole about her tattoo about the Earp sisters. It would kept on coming up before fading away again into another topic.

Wynonna sat in between Doc’s legs and earlier they’d announced what they were going to try to have a baby. The smile on Wynonna’s face made Nicole and Waverly exchange a look of pure pride. They knew that it had been a difficult decision to make, but Wynonna got the message—she would be a fucking awesome mom.

Besides the tattoo talk, they’d also discussed baby names. Jeremy, of course, suggested Jeremy. Then, Clark Kent. He was turned down faster than anyone else, but they laughed at the suggestions anyway.

”For a girl, I like the name Alice,” Wynonna said thoughtfully. Everyone fell in love with the name. 

It was Nicole’s last day in Purgatory, and after that it’d be another 5 months before the couple saw each other again. They had money to go back and forth, but if they kept seeing each other when they missed one other, they’d run out of it. Nicole had an apartment to pay for and Waverly a house, not to mention her monthly car payments.

They would spend the rest of the night together again, but they wanted to enjoy the time before then with their friends. They wanted to revel in the peace that they’d been blessed with.

❧

A month later, Waverly was sitting on her living floor. She’d just finished writing down some of the things that her and Nicole had done at Coney Island. She was on her back, looking at the ceiling, reliving the event in her mind, trying to remember if she’d missed any details. Her right arm was moving up and down as if making a fourth of a snow angel, and the material of her shag rug felt soft and warm. She smiled when two memories crossed her mind.

The first one was of Nicole getting angry after not making in a ring at the ring toss. Waverly had kissed her until a smile had grown back on her face. The smile had made Waverly’s grow, as if Nicole’s smile was the water to a flower. It was a smile that made her fall in love with Nicole even more.

Then, she recalled when the day her daddy burned down their home. She remembers laughing at Wynonna when she walked into her room to find her laying down on the carpet just like she is now. She never knew why Wynonna always sat on the floor rather than her bed. Now, Waverly doesn’t know why _she_ does it, but it made her feel close to her sister in some odd way.

She didn’t know it yet, but in a few minutes, she would hold onto that memory of Nicole’s smile for dear life, and her hand would grasp at the carpet as Alex cried to her on the phone.

She’d be seeing Nicole much sooner than she orginally thought.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you’re thinking...


	10. Stand by Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was originally going to be longer, but it didn’t feel right!
> 
> Anyway I once said something about Nicole being in a coma...erase that from your minds like I erased the sentence from chapter 4? Thanks lol
> 
> Also, this chapter was inspired by 11.22.63 by Stephen King <3
> 
> Happy reading :-)

_Life turns on a dime._

_In a split second, the person you have feelings for can tell you that_ they _have feelings for_ you _, and in the blink of an_ _eye, years later, they could bend down on one knee and ask you to marry you._

 _In a split second, that same person could have a pool of blood beneath them, and in a blink of an_ _eye, they could be lying limp in your arms._

 _Life isn’t a predictable movie. You can plan tomorrow to the dot—grocery shopping, then a day at the spa_ _—but you may not even wake up._

 _I’ve learned to appreciate life much more than I did before what happened to Nicole. Every breath I_ _took was precious. Every breath she took was even more._

 _It’s sad, isn’t it? That tragic things—_ bullshit _—has to happen in order for us to start appreciating_ _life. I think it is._

 _But, that’s just how life is, I guess. We take what we have for granted, and we don’t appreciate the_ _sunrise and the sky and dandelions as much as we should._

_And God knows we should. Because life turns on a dime._

❧

There was no time to process. No time to stop or pause to take a breath. Alex hung up, and Waverly was up. Everything was ready. Everything had been done on autopilot, her brain sending the right messages—pack this, pack that—but her thoughts were on Nicole. Nicole Haught who was on her way to the hospital.

She didn’t get all of the details because Alex was crying too much. She said that she was there and that she’d seen it. She told her that Nicole was shot, that there was a pool of blood under her, and it just kept coming out, _and coming, and coming_.

“Not again,” Alex kept repeating to her. “She can’t die, Waverly. I already lost my brother and my dad.” Waverly calmed her down, but she doesn’t know how she managed to do that when her own heart was going at 200 beats per minute.

Waverly was pacing back and forth in her living room. Outside, the sky was bright and blue and hopeful. That was good, hopeful was good. The clouds were moving fast. She should’ve been moving fast.

She continued to pace.

Waverly had always been a planner. It gave her some sort of control, and that’s exactly what she needed, so it’s what she did.

 _Okay, the uber driver will be here in 6 minutes_ , Waverly thinks. _He'll take me to Calgary International Airport. When I get there, I get on a plane. Wait, no, I have to buy a ticket first. You can’t go on without a ticket, Waves_! Waverly laughs. It's dry and humorless.

 _God, please there has to be space on the plane. I know it's last minute, but_ please _let me be on that plane. Nicole—she needs me. You get that, right? I’ll do anything you want. I will_! _Wait. Stop, Waverly. You're getting distracted._ Waverly nods to herself.

_The flight, it has to be nonstop. I can't be in a connecting flight because Nicole, she needs me. She needs me to be there for her. I can't stop, I have to get there as fast as possible!_

“Calm down, Waverly,” she whispers to herself unknowingly. _You can't do anything about the travel time. Take a deep breath. Keep your mind on the plan, focus on that. Plans are important. Now, where was I? Oh yes._

_You're going to get on a plane. And the flight is 4 hours and 47 minutes exactly. Almost 5 hours. 5 whole fucking hours. That’s 300 minutes! Why do I live so far away? She needs me. She needs me now._

_Stop pacing, Waverly_. She doesn’t stop.

_You're going to arrive at LaGuardia airport in Queens. Right. Then, you have to get a cab. Fast. Because Nicole, she needs you, and you're not there. You're not there fast enough because you live so goddamn far away from the love of your life. Why do you live so far away, Waverly?_

‘Waverly, it's not you're fault.’ _That's what Nicole would say. Yes, that's what she would say. But, Nicole's not here, is she Nicole's in the hospital. And you're not with her._

 _Okay, you’re going to arrive at LaGuardia—wait, you already went over that. Bellevue Hospital. That's where you go next. That’s where Nicole is. All alone because you're not there._ Waverly takes a deep breath, her eyes closed, imagining Nicole covered in blood in a hospital bed with doctors all around her screaming things like, “Heartbeat dropping!” And _dropping, and dropping, and dropping_. And then Nicole’s not hers anymore. Never again.

_Stop. Nicole’s alive._

_Okay, getting to the hospital will take another 20 minutes or so. And then, you get to see Nicole. Nicole, who needs you because you're all she has. Besides her friends of course! But her parents are dead, and so is her grandma, and you're the only family she has, and you've left her alone. How could you do that to her, Waverly?_ You make me stronger, _that's what Nicole said when I was in New York after our fight._ _So, if I'm not there, who's keeping her strong? HOW WILL SHE FIGHT AND BE STRONG, IF I'M NOT THERE?_

The last thought snaps Waverly out of the chaos in her mind. It was loud. It was powerful. She wasn't thinking straight, that much she knew. There are cars driving outside, birds chirping, someone laughing loudly—life is continuing on outside, but to Waverly the world is no longer spinning, and she doesn’t hear a thing.

Then, she hears a honk outside, and the noises invade her all at once, and she contains a scream as she covers her ears.

 _The Uber driver is here. I have to go to Nicole now._ She takes a look around her, her living room suddenly feels safe, like nothing bad could ever happen to her here. But, something bad _has_ happened. To Nicole. The thought brings her sanity back, silencing the thoughts once and for all. She double-checks that she has everything before she leaves her apartment.

 _Keys, check. Wallet and passport, check. Suitcase, check. Wait, when did I pack?_ She shakes her head to rid of the irrelevant thought and makes her way out the door.

She greets her driver, but her mind is far away. It's like someone else is in control, someone else is behind the wheel of her own car, and she’s just a passenger being let led anywhere. Her mind is on Nicole. Her minds drifts to the thought that brought her back to reality. ‘ _How will she fight and be strong, if I'm not there?’ You idiot,_ Waverly reprimands herself. _You make her strong_ er _._ Er _._ _She'll pull through because you make her stronger, as in she’s already strong. She's the strongest person you know. She's a fighter and she'll be okay._

Waverly nods to herself, and the driver, who’s looking at her through the rear view mirror, gives her a weird look that she doesn’t notice. She has another thought, and nods again. She can’t make it by herself. She leans forward and gives the driver a different address.

She takes a deep breath and leans back against the car. She feels irritated, _can this driver drive any faster?_ 5 minutes later they arrive, and she gets off of the car, telling the driver to wait a few minutes. She walks up to the door and knocks. Doc opens and notices the faraway look in her eyes. He tells her come in and calls Wynonna who’s watching a movie in their room. Ironically, it’s _The End of Watch_.

Waverly hasn’t said anything, but she looks up when Wynonna walks into the room and doesn’t look her in the eye.

“Baby girl, is everything okay?” Wynonna asks, looking at Doc for an answer. He simply shrugs.

Waverly nods, oddly calm. Wynonna can already tell what she’s doing—she’s pushing down her feelings lower _and lower and lower—_ like a coffin—until she can’t feel a thing. She used to do it a lot.

“Nicole’s in the hospital. I need you to go to New York with me,” Waverly says.

Wynonna gives her a shock, terrified look, but she doesn’t think that Waverly even noticed.

“What are you talking about, Waverly. What happened?”

Waverly looks at her and blinks. The emotions are swirling around her eyes because she may be trying to push them down, but she’s failing. Wynonna can’t help but take that as a good sign. “I’ll explain in the cab, but I need to know if you’ll go with me?” Waverly asks.

Wynonna bites her jaw in worry. She looks at Doc and he gives her a subtle nod. “Okay,” she says. “Okay.” She doesn’t ask anymore questions and walks into her room to pack some things. Doc follows her, and Waverly stays seated. She looks out the window and waits. Her face looks calm, but her eyes are a raging storm. Her leg bounces.

Wynonna knew it was bad. Not because Waverly came in crying, her eyes red, and struggling to breathe, but because she walked in with no emotion in her voice and her eyes were blank. _Let her be okay, God_ , Wynonna prayed.

Wynonna packs with shaking hands.

“Wynonna,” Doc says. “Wyononna,” he repeats when she doesn’t hear him.

“What?” Wynonna asks. Doc walks behind her and wraps his arms around hers waist. Wynonna leans back against him.

“Darling, calm down. I’m sure Officer Haught will be okay, but I need you calm down, okay? Can you do that?”

Wynonna nods and meets his eyes. She takes deep breaths and calms her fast beating heart.

“Would you like me to go with you?” Doc asks when Wynonna turns in his arms to face him.

“Yes, very badly, but I think you should stay. If you go I’ll depend on you and I won’t be there for Waves like she needs me to be,” she says.

Doc hugs her and kisses her forehead. “Alright.”

“I’ll call you when we arrive and let you know what’s happening,” Wynonna says, her voice cracks. Doc hugs her again and kisses her hard. He’s trying to stop himself from crying, too. _Not Nicole_ , he thinks. Doc walks them out and he doesn’t know what to say, so he just gives them each a kiss on the forehead.

He stays for a second, watching the the car drive down the street towards the airport, towards Nicole.

 _Not Nicole_ , he thinks again. Sometimes not knowing anything was worse than knowing it all.

❧

By the time Waverly and Wynonna arrive to New York, they’re jet lagged and emotionally exhausted, but they still had another 20 minutes to go in cab before getting to the hospital. They hadn’t said much while on the plane. Waverly had just recalled what Alex told her when she called her. All she knew was that Nicole was shot and that there was a lot of blood. After that, they mostly just cried together before Alex hung up. Wynonna fell asleep on the plane, but Waverly was too troubled to even blink. Plus, she was afraid to sleep.

What if when she woke up, she’d get the news that Nicole had died? She didn’t want to wake up to bad news, so she forced herself to stay awake. She’s not even sure how she got through the flight. She couldn’t read, write, or listen to music. She just sat there, in her own world, creating one where everything was okay—her and Nicole were back in Purgatory drinking hot chocolate by the fire—just like when she was a kid. Just like the day her daddy burned down their home, when he burned himself, when Wynonna shot him.

The only difference between then and now was that despite the nerves in the pit of her stomach, she didn’t feel like anything bad would happen in her gut.

She trusted it and held on to it. She’d found that people found hope in unlikely places when it was necessary, and hers just happened to be within. Maybe it was crazy, but _frankly me dear, I don’t give a damn_.

Wynonna hails a cab, and Waverly calls Alex when they get in. The phone rings for a while as Waverly mutters _Come on, Alex_ , pick up under her breath, and just as she’s about to hang up, she hears Alex’s thick voice on the other end. She’s been crying. Is that bad?

“Alex,” Waverly says out. “How is she? How’s Nicole?”

“The nurse says she’s okay at the moment. They rushed her into surgery when we came in—”

“Surgery. Right,” Waverly says with a gulp. Surgery is serious.

“I’ll tell you everything when you get here,” Alex says. “I haven’t been allowed to go in and see her. She’s resting or something,” Alex says.

“If she’s okay, then why are you crying?” Waverly asks.

Alex doesn’t answer. “Because I saw her get. . . hurt.”

“You mean shot?” Waverly asks.

“No, Waverly.”

“Alex, what the hell are you talking about?”

“I’ll tell you when you get here. How much longer?”

Waverly pushes down her fear, but it’s too big, so it doesn’t help much. She asks the driver how much longer.

“10 minutes. You’re scaring me, Alex,” Waverly says. Wynonna grabs her hand.

“I’ll see you in a bit, Waves. She’ll be okay.” She hangs up before Waverly can ask anymore questions.

Waverly lays her head against the window, but it’s too cold and she moves to lay on Wynonna’s shoulder instead. “There’s something that Alex isn’t telling me,” Waverly says. Wynonna doesn’t know what to say, so she just stays silent. “What time is it?” Waverly asks.

Wynonna takes out her phone but her eyes land on the message on the lock screen instead. It’s from Doc. _Filled everyone in on what I knew. We’re together now. We’ll be waiting, and praying_. Wynonna blinked away some tears. Doc didn’t even believe in God.

 _Nicole’s okay, I think. She was shot, that much I know. But something else happened. Don’t know what_ , Wynonna texts back.

“Nonna?” Waverly asks with a thick voice, not unlike Alex’s.

“It’s 10 past 5,” Wynonna says. She looks out the window. Minutes later she says, “We’re here.”

Waverly’s eyes widen, and she sits up before running out of the car when the cab driver stopped at the entrance of the hospital. Wynonna pays the driver and gets both of their bags.

“Nicole Haught?” Waverly asks the woman at the from desk. “She was—she was shot.” Wynonna walks up to her and takes her hand. She knew that Waverly had to ground herself before she lost her mind. Waverly throws her a grateful look when the receptionist tells her that guests can wait in the 6th floor. They thank her and run to the elevator.

They walk in to find Alex surrounded by a few officers—Waverly assumes that they’re all from the precinct Nicole works in. They walk straight to Alex, ignoring the confused looks being thrown at them.

“Alex,” Waverly says. She throws herself forward and embraces the cop in a tight hug. Wynonna follows. “Tell me what’s going on, please,” Waverly says right away.

“Okay, but you might want to sit down,” Alex says. Waverly notices that her hands are shaking.

“I don’t want to sit down! My girlfriend was in surgery, and I don’t even know for what! So just tell me!” Waverly yells. Then in a weak voice, “ _Please_.”

Alex nods. “Okay, okay.” Waverly’s yelling caused everyone stop talking, and now the room was eerily quite. Waverly wished that they would go back to talking and drinking their stupid, shitty hospital coffee.

“She was shot,” Alex says. “But, what you don’t know is that she was shot 3 times.”

Waverly’s heart stops. “What?”

Alex just nods. “But she’s still alive,” she rushes out, but she has a look in her face that makes Waverly believes there’s more.

“What else?” Waverly demands.

“Waverly, please. Sit down.”

Waverly throws her hands up, “Fine!” She takes a seat.

“I didn’t tell you over the phone because I didn’t want you to worry.”

Waverly gulps, her heart thumping in her chest.

“The bullets obviously caused some damage, but it wasn’t what caused the ultimate damage.”

“What?” Waverly asks in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“The first bullet hit her in the ribs, but she was wearing her vest and the gun was a .44 Magnum, so it didn’t go through the vest, thankfully. It did break a few ribs though and they’ll take time to heal. The second bullet grazed her arm, and the third went through her shoulder.”

“And that’s not bad?” Waverly yells.

“It was a clean shot, went through and through. There was a lot of blood loss, but a few officers and I donated some. She’s okay now. But after she was shot, she—um—she fell onto the floor when they shot her.”

Waverly gives her a confused look.

”Isn’t that supposed to happen?” Wynonna asks, a dry, scared chuckle escaping her throat.

“When she fell, they kicked her. _Hard_ ,” Alex says, the tears flowing down her cheeks freely now. “They kicked her in the head. She’s got a brain injury.”

Waverly was glad that Alex told her to sit, but she wasn’t going to admit that outloud. Her knees would’ve buckled and she would have fallen, probably shattering her knees. Probably not because she was surrounded by people, and Wynonna hadn’t left her side, but she was allowed to be dramatic, right?

 _A brain injury. Will she live?_ Waverly thinks. She’s got a million thoughts running through her mind, but she doesn’t say anything out loud.

“Waverly,” Wynonna says as she kneels in front of her. “Are you okay?”

Waverly ignores her sister. _No, I’m obviously not okay, Wynonna_ , she thinks, but she can’t seem to say that outloud. Instead she finds herself asking what that means.

“It’s basically the worlds worst concussion,” Alex explains the best way she can. She’s probably being dramatic, too. “But, we’re not sure what’ll happen exactly.”

Waverly bites her jaw in worry. She doesn’t say anything else for 5 minutes. At that point, Alex is walking away to get some coffee, God knows she needs it.

“Who can I talk to about Nicole Haught?” A woman with a strong voice asks.

Waverly’s eyes widen and she hurries to her along with Wynonna. “Me—uhh— _us_.”

“And who exactly are you?” The doctor asks, her eyes wary.

“I’m her girlfriend, and this is my sister,” Waverly says wishing that the doctor would just spit out what she needs to hear.

“I’m sorry, ma’am, but I can only talk to family.”

“Are you serious? We _are_ her family,” Waverly yells in disbelief as if the Doctor should know exaclty what she’s talking about.

Alex suddenly steps in as Wynonna holds Waverly back. “What she means is that we’ve all she’s got. Her parents and grandparents are all dead. We are literally her family,” Alex says with pleading eyes.

The doctor’s eyes soften and gives a single nod. “I’m Doctor Marie, Nicole is stable right now. Her ribs are broken, her arm’s got an abrasion, and her shoulder took most of the damage.”

“How do you mean?”

“First of all, it’s not life-threatening. She has an Axonotmesis injury, specifically a 4th degree nerve injury. We did have to perform a CT scan and perform surgery to repair the nerve damage. Luckily there was no transfer or graft needed, but it’ll take a while to heal. There’s no spontaneous healing in 4th degree nerve injury, unfortunately.

“Her sensory and motor functions won’t be well until she’s fully recovered, which will be in about 6 months. She did get lucky, though. If there had been denser scar tissue damage, they would’ve never fully recovered, but she only had a partial disruption.”

“And her brain?” Wynonna asks.

The doctor takes in a deep breath. “Unfortunately, we could perform a bunch of tests and scans, but until she’s awake, we won’t know the extent of the damage of the brain injury. What I _can_ tell you is that this wasn’t just a kick to the head with a soccer ball from a middle schooler. There could be some memory loss. ”

“Memory loss?” Waverly asks in shock. Alex’s eyes widen beside her.

“Yes. If that’s the case, it won’t be extensive. It could be a case of confusion, take you miss—”

“Earp,” Waverly says.

“Well, take you Miss Earp. Nicole could recognize you, know who you are but every once in a while she could forget your name. She’ll be pretty loopy for a while, and in and out throughtout the day. Now, again, until she’s awake we won’t know much, but she will be in some pain. Now, you want the good news?”

“Please,” Waverly says.

“None of the damage is permanent. Her body and brain will heal in months time, and she’ll be back to normal. She’ll be okay.”

Despite everything, Waverly let the words settle over her and she let her shoulders relax a little bit, but not too much. “She’ll be okay,” she whispers to herself. “When can we see her?” She asks Doctor Marie.

“Now actually, but only one person at a time. Who’s going first?”

Waverly turned to look at Wynonna and Alex, but they were already nodding to her. “Go,” Wynonna says.

Waverly nods and walks with the doctor. “Is she awake?”

“Yes,” the doctor says. They walk into a room, and there Nicole lies on the white bed, an expression of pain on her face.

“Hi, sweetheart,” The doctor says. “You’ve got a visitor.”

Nicole turns her head and when her eyes land on Waverly, they brighten up, yet they’re still dull. “Waves,” Nicole says, choking back a sob.

Waverly stops her eyes from widening. She was expecting Nicole to not remember her. “Hey, love,” Waverly says, walking to stand beside Nicole. She takes her hand, and brushes her hair with the other. “The doctor said you’re going to be okay. How are you feeling?”

“My body hurts,” Nicole says with scrunched eyebrows. Although it comes out slurred, and Waverly has to strain her ears to understand.

Doctor Marie makes her way to the couple. “Hey, hun. Can you tell me your name?”

Nicole looks at the doctor with blank eyes and ignores her. Waverly knows she doesn’t remember her name.

 "What am I doing here?” It comes out as _‘M doin here_

Waverly looks her. “You uhh, you don’t remember?”

Nicole shakes her head.

Waverly looks at the doctor. She’s not sure what she can or can’t say.

“You were hurt while trying to save someone. You’re very heroic,” the doctor simply says.

“Did I save them?” Nicole asks. But before Doctor Marie can respond, Nicole passes out.

”What happened? Is she okay?”

Doctor Marie nods. “Like I said, she’ll be like this for a few weeks. We actually got more out of her than I expected. Earlier she woke up, didn’t say anything, then closed her eyes again.”

”Can I have a few minutes with her?” Waverly asks.

Marie throws her a smile and leaves.

Waverly grabs Nicole’s hand again. “Nicole, whatever you do, don’t die on me, okay? Your head is going to hurt a little bit for the next few weeks and you’ll have trouble remembering things, but I’ll be here. I’ll always be here with you, Nicole. I have to go because Alex and Wynonna want to see, but I love you. Remember that always. I’ll see you later.” Waverly kisses her lips lightly.

She walks out of the room and into the waiting room. 

When she walks in, she turns red from the unwanted attention of the cops on her, but speaks up. “She’s okay. Her memory isn’t too great and her recovery may take a while, but she’ll be okay.” When she says that last sentence, she breaks down. Wynonna rushes to her, and Waverly cries into her chest for a few minutes while the rest of the cops get back to the station per the captains order now that they know how Nicole’s doing.

Now that the attention is off of her, she goes to tell Alex and Wynonna what happened, but before she can, the captain walks up to her. “Hello, miss Earp. Your sister here tells me that your Nicole’s partner.”

“Uhh, yes. . .”

“Captain Daniella,” she says as she extends her hand. “How’s she doing, really?”

“Her bullet wounds are the least of the problems. I didn’t get to talk to her much because she passed out, but she remembered who I was. She didn’t remember her name, though. Also, she doesn’t remember what happened. She has no idea why she’s in here.”

Captain Daniella breathes out a sigh. “That’s not unusual. I’m not sure if you know the full story yet—”

“She doesn’t,” Alex says.

Captain Daniella nods. “Well, what Nicole saw. . .it was bad. Along with her injury, she may not remember until later. Just a heads up, she’ll most likely struggle with PTSD. I know that her partner will too but he’s been a cop for years, this was Nicole’s worst scene so far, and it’ll have a _huge_ impact on her.”

Waverly thanks the captain and promises to call her if anything happens.

“Weren’t you there, Alex? Weren’t you in that house?” Waverly asks in confusion.

“Yeah. What does that have to do with anything?” Alex asks.

“Well, I don’t mean to sound blunt, but won’t you be struggling with PTSD?”

Alex shakes her head. “I arrived to the scene just seconds before I heard the first shot. I ran into the house hearing the next two shots, and by the time I got to Nicole, I saw her get kicked in the head. All of my focus and attention was on her and the perps, I didn’t even notice anything else in the house.”

“Where was her partner?”

“He was in the backyard. There 3 were people in all. The men who shot Nicole and the woman who had locked her partner out. He got in after breaking down the door, but he was fighting the woman. By the time the third shot rang, he knocked her out and ran to living room. There he walked in at the same time as I did. By then, the both of us on pure adrenaline, we ran over to perps and they fired shots, but their hands were shaking. I got grazed, same place and Nicky actually. Her partner, besides the bruises the woman gave him, got out fine. We arrested them all. I’m pretty sure they’re still in questioning over at the precinct.”

Waverly nodded. She wanted to know exactly what happened, what Nicole saw, but she didn’t think she was ready. Instead Wynonna told Alex that she should go see her.

“No, you go first. You flew all the way over,” Alex says.

“She’s not going anywhere,” Wynonna says with a sad smile. “Besides, we need to get something to eat.”

“I’m not hungry,” Waverly says.

“I don’t care,” Wynonna says. “We’re eating whether you want to or not.”

Waverly rolls her eyes, annoyed with her sister—although deep inside she knows that she has to eat. Alex gives Wynonna a look that says _Make sure she’s okay_. Wynonna nods subtly in response before leading Waverly to the cafeteria. When they get there, it’s 20 minutes before closing time and they get turkey sandwiches.

They take a seat and Wynonna finishes her sandwich, but Waverly’s only taken a few bites. “You have to eat,” says Wynonna.

“I know what I have to do, mom,” Waverly snaps.

“Don’t do that, Waverly. I’m here for you because you asked me to, I’m not the bad guy here, okay?” Wynonna says in a kind, but strict tone.

Waverly lets out a sigh and softens her eyes. She reaches out across the table and takes Wynonna’s hand. “Thank you for being here with me on a last minute note. I’ll eat.”

Wynonna gives her a single nod and leans back against her chair. Waverly only eats half of the sandwich, but it’s good enough for now. They stay a few extra minutes to put some coffee in their system.

“Doctor say how long before Nicole gets her memory back?”

“Not really,” Waverly says. “Could take months, usually it needs to be triggered by something so that their memories can come back. Even then, it could be all at once or just a snippets. But, it _will_ come back.”

“How do you know all that?” Wynonna asks.

Waverly chuckles. “Because of Nicole.”

“What do you mean?”

Waverly takes a sip of her coffee and smiles at the memory, when her Nicole were still just a couple of friends talking on Tumblr. “Remember when I was writing _The Black Widows_ and I wanted Robert Svane to hurt Mercedes?”

“Yeah, what about it?”

“Ironically, it was Nicole who came up with giving her a brain injury. She said that I should make her lose her memory, but have her get it back when she’s triggered by a sentence Robert Svane says to her a couple chapter later.”

“Nicole was the one who came up with that?”

Waverly nodded. “I did the research, talked to a few doctors, that’s why I know a little bit about it.”

“Hmm,” Wynonna says running the information through her head. “Want to head back up?”

“Please,” Waverly says, downing the last of her coffee. It burns her throat.

She doesn’t mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you think! I know it wasn’t much, but we’ll get more of Nicole’s (and Waverly’s) journey in the next chapter—that one will be long.
> 
> I’m not sure when the next chapter will be uploaded, probably the end of November/beginning of December cause I’ve got a shitload of things I want to get done before the year ends <3


	11. The Vow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prepare for your emotions to be all over the place.
> 
> Happy reading :-)
> 
> (Sorry for any mistakes! I try my best)

_I thought she was going to die. Maybe I was exaggerating, but I really thought she would. The doctor said that she would get better, but everyday I asked myself,_ when? When will she be okay again? _i_

_I would sit by her bedside and write letters to her when she was knocked out or sleeping—like the one I showed you a while ago—which was most of the time. She was in and out all day. And in and out all night. When she was awake during the day, she was loopy. 90% of the time, she didn’t remember who any of our friends were._

_She called Rosita “the girl with the pretty face,” and Doc, “the cowboy man.” Sometimes she would remember me, and other times she’d scream for me to get away—_ I don’t know you! _she’d yell. She broke my heart a lot for those 2 months, then she broke it in a different way when she got all of her memory back, in a way that made my heart hurt_ for _her, a way that said_ Give me the pain. I will hold it for you. Give me the memories. I will relive them for you.

_Her words were slurred most of the time. One would have to strain their ears to understand, but it was to no avail most of the time. And if she was up for more than a minute, she’d start thinking too much, and her head would hurt so bad she’d pass out._

_When she was up at night, I wasn’t there because they never let me stay. I tried and begged, and I even tried bribing a nurse once—that was a_ bad _idea. It killed me not being there for her, especially when the nurses told me about how she woke up screaming blood-curdling screams that would scare the other patients._

 _She would move around a lot in her sleep, whimper and cry and say incoherent things. At least, that’s what the nurses told me. When she was awake during the day, we would ask her if she remembered anything about her nightmares, but she didn’t even remember_ having _nightmares._

 _It just didn’t seem like she was going to get better. I thought that one day her brain would give out and she wouldn’t wake up. I kept thinking that I would walk into her room and Doctor Marie would be there, but Nicole would not._ I’m so sorry _, she would say. And that would be the end._

 _It was hard, one of the hardest moments of my life—just to add to the list—but I didn’t leave New York. I couldn’t. Wynonna left after a few days because she had to get back to work. Our friends came and went when they could, but I never left. I stayed in her apartment and cried in her bed, never getting much sleep. How_ I _didn’t pass out is still a marvel to me._

_Still, I couldn’t leave my home, my true home._

❧

Seven weeks. Seven weeks had passed since Nicole was shot 3 times and given a head injury after being kicked in the head.

The day after the first, Waverly and Wynonna had gone back to hospital where Alex was already there waiting. Waverly had realized then that she didn’t know what had happened to Nicole, only that she’d saved someone’s life.

She was afraid to know. As an author, her imagination ran wild, and she could create images in her mind, crisp and clear like an IMAX movie in the theaters. She knew that when Alex told her what was happening, she’d imagine and see everything that happened like she was there—she’d hear the shot being fired and the ringing in her ears, she’d see the blood pooling underneath her like spilled punch, and she’d feel like kick to her head that turned the world a color the complete opposite of the hospital room Nicole was in.

Still, she was curious, and in the end, it always got the best of her. Whether or not that was a good thing, she wasn’t sure. After Alex told her what happened, she’d come to conclusion that it was a bad thing, a curse even.

On the third day—the last day Wynonna was going to there—she sat down in the waiting room she’d grow to despise as much as Nicole’s room with Wynonna beside her holding her hand, grounding her like when she’d asked the nurse where Nicole was, and she asked Alex what happened.

“It was a domestic violence call,” Alex said, gripping her coffee cup so tight her knuckles were as white as the styrofoam. “Nicole and her partner, an old-timer, Hodges, were called in by a couple of the neighbors. They arrived just as the sound of glass breaking broke the usual silence of the neighborhood.

It was just supposed to be a domestic violence job,” Alex said again, her voice cracking near the end. She took a moment to steady her fast beating heart and shaky breath. She met their eyes again. “They said it was strange, the neighbors I mean, to be hearing such violent and scary noises from the couple inside. They said that they’d never caused a problem before, everyone loved them. But, now we know why they loved them.”

“What do you mean?” Wavlery asked, her brows furrowed.

“They made them love them. They put a on a charade. They wore masks; the man one of kindness, the woman of bravery. They made sure that everyone in the neighborhood loved them just enough to never suspect that anything was going on behind closed doors. Their yard was kept clean, the woman kissed her husband before work everyday on the driveway.

“Anyway, Nicole and Hodges got there only 5 minutes after the call, and when they knocked on the door, everyone had suddenly gone quiet. They knocked again, but there was no answer, so Nicole knocked down the door.

“Yesterday I told you that there were 3 people in all, and there were—suspect wise. But the fourth was the woman, the one who lived in the house with her husband. Nicole spotted her right away on the floor with a glass shard in her leg, it was a part of the lamp.”

“ _Jesus_ ,” Wynonna said, shaking her head in astonishment. Waverly squeezed her hand.

“I know,” Alex said. “Nicole saved her life. She got a blanket that was on the couch nearby and wrapped it around the woman’s leg. Unfortunately the damage was extensive, and she lost her leg last night, but she’s alive because of Nicky.”

“What was Hodges doing this whole time?” Waverly asked.

“That’s what I’m getting to,” Alex said, her eyes becoming clouded. “You how I said that I didn’t even notice anything in the house because I was too focused on Nicole? It was irresponsible for me as a cop, but she’s my best friend, too, you know?” Alex asked, as if getting a nod from the siblings would justify what she did. Frankly, neither girls cared that she hadn’t looked around for more or anything else that cops are supposed to do.

Waverly lifted the hand that wasn’t covered by Wynonna’s and placed it on Alex’s.

“While Nicole’s eyes automatically went to the woman on the floor, Hodges’ went to the wide open door across the hall, the one facing the front door. They always kept it closed, but not that day. He stood there with his mouth agape and eyes wide, only vaguely registering what Nicole was doing, but her never registering Hodges’ face.

“I actually think she forgot he was there,” Alex laughed, only half genuine. “They didn’t see the 2 men and the other woman at that time, but the woman was hiding in the kitchen and the 2 guys were crouching behind a long couch—the one Nicole had gotten the blanket off of. They didn’t know that they’d left the door open, so besides the screaming and all that, they had nothing to hide.

“As Nicole talked to the woman, trying to get her to tell her where her husband was, Hodges walked away, not into the room—he’d already seen enough, but he walked into the kitchen to see if there was more of what he saw. He didn’t, so he walked into the backyard. There was a lot of junk outside, and he starting rummaging through everything as he called for backup—me and my partner were the first to arrive—and a couple minutes later he heard the first gunshot, but when he tried to run back, as I told you, it was locked.

“And you know the rest, he knocked open the door, the woman—the wife of the other man—kicked his ass, and he got to Nicole too late,” Alex said.

Once again, Waverly was scared and painstakingly curious, but Wynonna spoke before her, “What did he see, Alex? What were they hiding from the neighbors?”

“Why is Nicole waking up screaming at night?” Waverly asked, her heart thudding like the pounding of someone’s feet running steadily on a treadmill.

“I’m not allowed to tell you,” Alex said, though the look in her eyes let the Earp’s know that she was going to anyway. She took a deep breath and said, “There were shelves on the walls. At least 6, and they all held. . .jars.”

“Jars?” Waverly asked. “Of what?”

Alex bit her lip. “They were filled with—with body parts.”

The Earps’ mouthes dropped. “What?” Wynonna asked.

“Hodges saw it. Through the door that was wide open. He could see everything clearly, eyeball, hands, fingers, noses,” Alex said, shaking her head as if it would rid of the mental image.

“They questioned one of the guys yesterday—who spent the whole time sobbing, by the way. The nerve of the sonofabitch. Anyway, he said that him and his friend were hiding being behind the couch so they didn’t see Nicole walk into the hallway.   
  
“Said, and I quote, ‘My heart was pounding so loud I couldn’t hear her steps.’ I don’t know what those idiots assumed, that Nicole would just stand there, maybe? But, next thing they knew, they heard Nicole call for backup, ‘round the same time as Hodges, and they got up when she was back in the living room, and that’s when they started shooting.”

Alex visibly gulped, and Waverly clenched her jaw in worry. “That’s not all is it?” Waverly asked.

“No,” Alex said, her nostrils flaring. “There were 2 people in that room and they weren’t. . .fully there, if you catch my drift.”

“Holy fuck,” Wynonna said. “I can’t imagine, and Nicole, Jesus, poor Nicole. No wonder she’s having nightmares.” Alex nodded, though she looked dazed.

Waverly said nothing. Wynonna and Alex didn’t push her, they knew that worry in her mind was to stay there until Nicole was out of the hospital, and maybe not even then. She remained silent until the nurse came out and told them they could see her— _one at a time_ , she said.

Waverly went first. She walked into the room to see Nicole lying there, and knowing what she’d gone through now, she seemed even more vulnerable. There was a window in her room, and the sun was shining down on her face, giving Waverly the light she needed to see how pale Nicole was.

“Hi, pretty girl,” Waverly said in a delicate, sweet voice. Nicole was still sleeping. She stood beside the bed and ran a hand through her hair before leaving a kiss on her forehead.

“I don’t know how long you’re going to be like this, in and out and slurring your words, but I want you to know that I’m going to be here the whole time, okay? I’ll stay in New York, in your apartment, I hope that’s okay. Wynonna has to go back tomorrow morning, but she wishes she could stay.

“Some days and some nights will be harder than others, but I want you to remember how strong you are. You have to remember that you’ve got a whole group of people rooting for you. You can get through this, baby. I love you.’’ And Waverly sat, looking at the sun shining down on the woman she loved.

❧

The next three weeks were uneventful. Besides everyone from Purgatory visiting, not much happened, and it broke her heart. During the fourth week, however, things started looking up, just a bit, but every bit counted.

Waverly had walked in with Doctor Marie by her side just like the first day, and they found Nicole with her eyes closed but awake.

“You’ve got a visitor, Ms. Haught,” Doctor Marie said.

Nicole opened her eyes, startled at the sudden noise, but a smile instantly made it’s way to her face. “Waves!”

Waverly smiled widely at her, and then at Doctor Marie, her eyes saying _she remembered my name!_

“Hey, love,” Waverly said, walking up to Nicole to gave her a hug, minding her wounds. “How you feeling?”

Nicole shrugged. “Alright, I guess.” Her words were still slightly slurred, but it was much easier to understand her now.

Waverly gave her a small, but sweet smile. “Doctor Marie wants to ask you a few things,” she said before turning to Doctor Marie. Waverly was feeling confident.

Doctor Marie walked forward to stand beside Waverly. “Can you tell me your name?” She asked with a kind smile.

Nicole laughed. “My name? Why?”

“Just tell her your name, babe,” Waverly said with a smile tantamount to Marie’s. Inside, she was afraid.

“Okay. Well, it’s. . .” Nicole trailed off. “Um. Wait, _obviously_  I know my own name. It starts with an N, right?” She asked both women, but not looking at them. She muttered to herself and thought about it. After 30 seconds, she brought her hand up to her head.

“It’s Nicole, hun,” the doctor said when she saw the action. “Don’t think too hard, your head’ll hurt. Just close your eyes when that happens, and let it pass.”

“ _Nicole_ , yeah. I knew that,” Nicole said, as if convincing herself. Waverly gave her an encouraging it’s okay smile. Nicole momentarily forgot everything and got lost in Waverly’s eyes.

“Ms. Earp?” Doctor Marie said. “Can I talk to you outside?”

Waverly nodded, and she looked at Nicole. “I’ll be right back.”

Nicole gave her a smile, and she walked out.

“Why doesn’t she remember her name?” Waverly asked right away, softly so that Nicole wouldn’t hear them. “Isn’t she just supposed to have forgotten what happened?”

“Yes,” Doctor Marie said. “And that’s true, but her brain isn’t what it used to be for the time being. This is normal, I promise you. She hasn’t forgotten entirely, like the event, she just gets a little confused at times.”

Waverly looked at her doubtfully.

Doctor Marie gave her a reassuring smile. “I’ve dealt with this before. Trust me.”

That eased Waverly’s worries, and she nodded. “Okay, I do. Thank you.”

“I’ll see you later, okay? Now go give her some company.”

Wavery nodded and walked back into the room with the white colors of the walls and the bed and everything else. They were so bright.

Waverly took a seat beside Nicole after she dragged a chair from the corner. “I missed you, pretty girl,” Waverly said once she was seated as close to Nicole as possible. “A lot.”

“Me too, Waves. I love you. I don’t think I was saying it enough,” Nicole said.

Waverly leaned forward and captured Nicole’s lips in her own. “You do. More than enough. You’re my everything, Nicky.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes,” Waverly said, her thumb running over Nicole’s bottom lip. “You gave me a scare.”

“I’m sorry,” Nicole said with furrowed brows.

“Oh, honey,” Waverly said with a chuckle and tears in her eyes. “You have nothing to apologize for. I’m just glad you’re okay. I thought I’d lost you.”

“I will always be with you,” Nicole said. Waverly noticed that her words were slurring more now.

Waverly nodded and kissed her forehead. “I know.” Nicole’s breathing suddenly steadied and Waverly’s wasn’t sure if she’d fallen asleep quickly or if she passed out.

So, Waverly stayed, and she never knew what to expect everyday for those last 3 weeks. Sometimes Nicole would talk to her. Other days she was sleeping all day. And if she wasn’t sleeping, she was passed out from the pain, or knocked out from all the drugs they had her on.

But Waverly was right. Eventually, she would get through it. But even in the last week that Nicole was in the hospital, when she could hold conversations for longer, know who everyone was, but didn’t have the memory of why she was in the hospital in the first place, things were still hard.

❧

Waverly is alone again. Well, she has Alex, but she’s at work. She’s standing in the elevator, anxious to see her girlfriend like she always was. 6 weeks had past, and Nicole was doing much better. Nicole’s acting more like herself now, and she’s up more often.

But, now that she’s awake and comprehending things, she can feel the pain of her broken ribs, and Waverly hates seeing her with that scrunched up face of pain that the painkillers don’t always help with, but she’s also glad to know that her ribs are almost fully healed. Her abrasion had healed after 2 weeks, and they even had her doing some physical thereapy for her shoulder.

Yesterday they said that maybe in a week Nicole could go home. That made Wavelry _ecstatic_. Stepping out of the elevator, she walks into Nicole’s room, happy to find that she’s awake. Her smile grows into a grin as she greets her.

“Good morning, babe. How are you feeling?” Waverly asks softly before leaving a chaste peck on Nicole’s lips.

Nicole manages a smile, but she looks exhausted. She squints as if the light is too bright. “I’m alright, feeling a little tired.”

Waverly nods in understanding. “Have I ever told you how beautiful you look in the morning?”

Nicole scoffs. “I look like shit.”

“Prettiest shit I’ve ever seen.”

Nicole lets out a loud laugh that makes Waverly grin. “Why am I dating you again?” Nicole asks her.

Waverly pretends to ponder for a moment as she lifts her hand to lay it on Nicole’s head, and massage her scalp. Waverly says, “Because I give you free massages.”

Nicole moans. “That feels amazing.”

Waverly smiles in response as Nicole closes her eyes.

“I had another nightmare last night,” Nicole says after a moment.

Waverly kept massaging her. “What was it?”

“I don’t competely remember. I was in a house, and it was dark. I think I was by the door, and then I saw a woman on the floor and. . . that’s where it stops,” Nicole says with her bottom lip tugged out and frown lines on her forehead.

She gives Waverly a curious look. “Was that a confusing nightmare or a memory?”

Waverly pulls her hand away and gives her a sad smile. “That was a memory, baby.”

Nicole doesn’t say anything, so Waverly goes to her bag and pulls something out.

She looks at Nicole shyly. “I figured we could do something different today,” she says as she lifts of a moleskin journal.

“Is that my journal?” Nicole asks, sitting up.

Waverly nods. “I hope you don’t mind, I didn’t look through it or anything, but I saw it in a drawer when I was looking for some change and I thought maybe you’d want to write.”

“That sounds great, but I’m too tired to write,” Nicole says with a sad smile.

“That’s alright, I’ll do it for you,” Waverly says. She gestures at the book, “Do you mind?”

Nicole shakes her head with a smile that says how’d I get so lucky? “Make a list, yeah? Just number it one through three. I want to say a few things I’m grateful for.”

Waverly opens up to a blank page and does as she’s told. “Alright, what’s number 1?”

“Write ‘Waverly’.”

Waverly stops writing the 3. in the list and looks up at Nicole who’s giving her a wondrous look. “You’re grateful for me?” Waverly asks in awe.

“I’m always grateful for you, Waverly,” Nicole says as if Waverly should’ve already known that. “Just look at all the other pages.”

Waverly studies her for a second to make sure she’s serious, and then she flips through the other pages. She’s shocked when every page contains her name as the number one thing Nicole is grateful for.

“I—um— _wow_ ,” Waverly says, her eyes roaming each page. When she looks up to meet Nicole’s eyes, she finds a grin on her face as if she’s a child showing off the artwork she’s proud of.

Waverly grabs Nicole’s hand and kisses it. “I love you so much, Nicole Haught.”

Nicole scrunches up her nose in a way that makes Waverly’s heart skip a beat. “I know.”

Waverly giggles. “Good.” She turns back to the page she was writing on and writes her name. “What else?”

Nicole doesn’t hesitate with her next answer, “I’m grateful to be here.”

The answer shocks Waverly. “You are?” Nicole nods. “Why?”

Nicole shrugs. “Because I met Doctor Marie, and she’s very kind. Plus, I got to sleep for 6 weeks straight basically, who knew I needed to catch up that much.”

Once again, Waverly studies her. “Okay,” she says.

“And for number three, write Nurse Annie. She’s always the first one in here after a nightmare. And now that I think about it, I’m grateful for those too because if it weren’t for them, I wouldn’t have had that memory,” Nicole finally ends.

Waverly looks at her with surprise. They’d been dating more than a year, and Nicole _still_ managed to surprise her. She shakes her head in astonishment, “You’re something else,” Wavelry says in pure awe.

Nicole blushes, after all this time, Waverly can still make her feel shy.

“Thank you,” Nicole says with a soft smile. Waverly emulates it, and they stare at each other for a good 5 seconds before Waverly looks down and writes everything that Nicole told her in her journal.

A minute later, she looks up to find Nicole scrunching her nose up again, only this time it’s not because she said something kind, but because she’s in pain.

“Nicole, are you alright?” Waverly asks, getting closer to her and rubbing her thumb on her forehead back and forth.

“I don’t feel so good,” Nicole says, bring her hand up and rubbing at her temples, softly pushing Waverly’s hand away.

“Okay, how about you go try to go sleep, yeah? Or do you want me to call a nurse?” Waverly asks, keeping her worry at bay. “Does your head hurt?”

“Yeah, I was trying to remember—”

“Nicole, you’re not supposed to push yourself like that,” Waverly says.

“Yeah, but how else am I supposed to remember?” Nicole asks, desperation in her voice.

“Doctor Marie said—”

“I don’t _care_ what the Doctor Marie said. I want my memory back! I just need to think about the house,” Nicole says, turning slightly pale as she closes her eyes and forces herself to think.

“Nicole, stop. You’re just going to stress yourself out and pass out or something!” Waverly says.

Nicole starts hitting her head softly, “I just—I want to remember!” She lets out a groan of frustration. “Why can’t I remember?”

Waverly puts her hand in between Nicole’s hand and her forehead, forcing her to stop hitting herself. She feels herself getting nervous as her palms start to sweat, not really sure what to do.

“Nicole, don’t do that. It’s okay, just breathe. Can you breath with me?” Waverly asks.

Nicole looks at her desperately, asking for help with her eyes, and she nods. She takes in a deep breath with Waverly, but it looks like she’s about to throw up from the pain.

She does.

“ _Shit_ ,” Waverly says with wide eyes of full of worry. She looks around to find a trash can, but it’s too late. Nicole’s already thrown up everything she had in her, which wasn’t much.

“Oh, baby,” Waverly says. She goes to the bathroom in the room and gets a wad of paper towels before running back to Nicole. She brings her hand up to clean her chin, but a hand grabs her wrist, stopping her movements. “Nicole, let me help you get cleaned up,” Waverly says in confusion.

“Waverly, stop,” Nicole says as she looks down and away from her. “Don’t look at me. I’m a mess, _God_.”

“I don’t care about that, now come here, let me help before I call a nurse,” Waverly says patiently.

“No. Just get the nurse,” Nicole says. Waverly couldn’t see the tears forming in her eyes.

“In a second, Nicole. Stop being so stubborn and let me help you,” Waverly says as she gets closer to Nicole again.

“ _Get out_!” Nicole yells, looking at Waverly with anger.

Waverly stops. Her heart, too.

“O-okay. I’ll get the nurse,” she says, the paper towels still in her hands as she walks out of the room, slightly phased.

“I’m sorry,” Nicole cries out. Waverly feels guilt settle in her chest when she only manages a nod. While Waverly looks for Nurse Annie, she blinks away tears and ignores the sadness building up in her chest. She was just trying to help.

When she tries to go back into the room, Annie, with her insanely curly blonde hair and rose tattoo on her wrist, shakes her head subtly.

Even though she understands Nicole’s reaction, she can’t help the hurt she feels in her chest. She waits outside the room, leaning against the wall when she sees Alex walking down the hall.

“Hey,” Alex says, confusion settling over her face like the shadow of a tree. “What are you doing out here.”

Waverly bites her lip. “Nicole starting thinking too hard, and she. . . threw up on herself.”

Alex’s eyes go wide, but the confusion remains. “So what are you doing out here?”

Waverly chuckles dryly. “You know Nicole.”

Alex looks at her for a moment, then lets out a sigh, running a hand through her curly hair. “Whatever she said, she’s glad you’re here, you know.”

Waverly nods. “I know, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.”

Alex gives her a small smile in understanding, and they remain silent until Annie comes out.

“You can go in now, hun,” Annie says with a smile. “Don’t take it to heart. A lot of people don’t like feeling helpless. Especially, cops.”

“Is she okay?” Waverly asks.

“She’s alright, just stubborn.”

“You have no idea,” Waverly says with a soft laugh.

“Listen, did Nicole tell you she had another nightmare last night?” Annie asks Waverly.

“Yeah, why?” Waverly asks, her brows scrunched.

“It was bad,” Annie says.

“Aren’t they always?” Alex asks.

“This was the worst one yet. We had to stabilize her.”

“ _Stabilize_?” Waverly and Alex ask at the same time. Nicole hadn’t mentioned that part. “It was that bad?”

The nurse nods. “It always get bad before it gets good again though, right?” she says as she walks away.

Waverly didn’t take her eyes off of her, and nods her head, lost in thought “Right.”

“You go in first,” Alex says. “I’ll wait here.”

Wavery narrows her eyes, “We can both go in now, though.”

“Yeah, but you looked like a kicked puppy when I got here, and I know you two are going to have to talk out whatever happened. Now go, make up and make out.”

Waverly laughs. “You’re a dork.”

Alex rolls her eyes, and Waverly walks back into Nicole’s room. Then, she walks back out.

“She’s asleep,” Waverly deadpans.

Alex laughs. “Go and get some coffee, then. _Real_ coffee from across the street. Here,”—Alex hands her five dollars—“on me. I’ll watch Nicole.”

Waverly nods. “Sounds good, actually. Thanks,” she says with a grateful smile. She walks away, her mind, as usual, on Nicole.

❧

Waverly walks into Nicole’s room an hour later—she had let Alex and Nicole talk for a while—attempting to hide her concerned eyes.

“Hey,” Nicole says with an unreadable expression on her face. She’s sitting up, her back straight and stiff.

“Hi,” Waverly says with a tentative smile. “Are you feeling better?” she asks, sitting way back against the chair beside Nicole’s bed.

Nicole nods. Then, they spoke at the same time. “Listen—” “Look, I’m—”

Nicole smiles and says, “You go first.”

Waverly nods. “Nicole, I’m so— _no_ ,” she shakes her head at herself.

“No?” Nicole asks, she can’t help the amusement she feels.

“I’m not going to apologize because I did nothing wrong,” Wavelry says, looking into Nicole’s eyes. She holds her hand in between both of her own. “Listen to me pretty girl, I know you’re struggling, and I know that you feel like a bother, but you’re not. If you want space sometimes, if you want to be alone, I can give you that. But if I’m here and I see that you need help, I’m going to give it to you even if you don’t want it because I know that you do want it, but you’re just ashamed. Don’t be ashamed around me, Nicole, okay?”

Nicole nods, amazed that Waverly said everything that she needed to here. “Okay, baby. I’m sorry for the way I reacted, I shouldn’t have yelled.”

Waverly kisses her forehead. “I know, it’s okay, love. I understand.”

Nicole loops an arm around her neck and brings her down to kiss her lips softly. “I love you, Waves. Thank you for being here.”

“I love you too, Nicky.”

❧

Now, Nicole was home.

The hospital had approved her release 20 minutes ago, and the first thing Nicole did was lie in her bed. She would’ve thrown herself on it, but didn’t think it’d be a good idea for her healing shoulder.

“My bed smells so much like you,” Nicole says with a giggle that’s muffled by the pillow she’s buried her face in. Wavlery smiles at her, and joins her on the bed. She’d tried to cuddle with Nicole at the hospital, but it was too tight, and she was always afraid that she’d hurt Nicole’s ribs—now fully healed—or hurt her shoulder. There’s no way in hell she wasn’t going to take full advantage of this now.

She sits on the opposite side of Nicole and spread her legs open. “Come here, pretty girl. I promise my boobs make great pillows.”

“Oh, _I know_ ,” Nicole says with a teasing smile. She’s exhausted. Waverly can see it in the way she drags herself to her, plus her red eyes are an obvious tell. She briefly wonders how much sleep she got last night, or all nights.

Nicole had been through a lot. Yes, she’s home now, but she still has a long road to recovery. Her shoulder isn’t at 100% yet, and she would suddenly fall asleep randomly— _Narcolepsy_ , Doctor Marie told her it was called—plus, she didn’t have her memory back.

Every morning when Waverly would visit, Nicole said that she dreamed of what happened that day, but she could only remember the part about the woman on the floor, the one she saved. From the 6th week until her release, every morning she’d be advised not to think too much about it, and every morning she passed out, sometimes threw up. To say Nicole was stubborn would be an understatement, she was on a whole other level.

Sometimes she’d get mad again, though never again at Waverly, but she’d let it out _on_ Waverly. It resulted in tears a few a times on Waverly’s part mostly, but sometimes in Nicole when she’d say something she regretted. Especially that one time when she told Waverly something she’d promised to never tell her again after she’d thrown on herself for the second time.

That day, Waverly was late, so she wasn’t there in time to get the bucket for Nicole, and someone had left it on the other side of the room, so Nicole couldn’t get to it in time. Waverly walked in to find Nicole on the floor, her hospital gown covered in throw up. Waverly’s heart had never broken as much as it did that day.

When Waverly tried to help Nicole up she said, “Can you _get off_? Why are you always here, anyway?”

The nagging feeling, the fear that Waverly was a nuisance, a liability to those around her came crawling up like the moon in the sky. She’d left to find Annie, tears streaming down her face like raindrops on a window. Despite the pain she felt in her chest, she was more broken to find Nicole crying, too.

That’s one thing she’s not looking forward to, the nightmares Nicole will wake up screaming or crying to in the middle of the night. Not because she didn’t want to deal with it, but because she was afraid _for_ Nicole.

Taking a page from Nicole’s book, she decides to focus on the postive. She thinks about how far Nicole has come. She focuses on that fact that Nicole is here, right now in her arms, and most importantly— _not dead_.

Waverly’s hands are on Nicole’s thighs, and Nicole’s playing with her hands in a soft way that has Waverly’s heart racing. Waverly saw her everyday for 7 weeks, but she hadn’t realized how much she’d missed her. She holds in tears that she wasn’t expecting. Nicole throws a leg over hers and lets out a happy sigh.

As if reading Waverly’s mind, Nicole says, “I missed you. Is that weird?”

Waverly laughs softly and kisses the back of her head. “Not at all. I missed you, too.”

Nicole smiles, but Waverly doesn’t see it. “Hey, will anyone come visit?”

Waverly nods, then remembers that Nicole can’t see it. “Alex is going to stop by after work, and Wynonna said that everyone’s going to come down in 3 days.”

“Everyone?” Nicole asks with wide eyes as she looks up to meet Waverly’s eyes. Waverly didn’t answer because she was momentarily lost in the sight in front of her. The sun rays from the window are hitting Nicole’s face perfectly, making her look like a golden angel.

“Waves?” Nicole asks, snapping Wavelry out of her thoughts.

“You’re so beautiful,” Waverly says in awe.

Nicole gives her a dimpled smile. “Thanks, baby.” She kisses Waverly for a long time in an awkward angle.

When Nicole pulls apart before the ache in her neck became too much to bear, Waverly says, “Yes, to answer your question. Everyone’s coming up.”

“We have the greatest friends, don’t you think?”

“The greatest.”

They stay silent for a few minutes after that, but then, with drooping eyes, Nicole says, “I’m tired.”

Waverly giggles. “I know. Go to sleep, love. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

Nicole closes her eyes and is asleep in an instant. She’s woken up 11 hours later with her head on a pillow and a blanket over her when she hears voices coming from the living room.

She gets up, not failing to notice how clean her apartment was, and she’s happy to find her best friend and girlfriend talking on the couch, looking like they’ve known each other for years. You know what they say, nothing bonds people like shared trauma.

She suddenly feels sorry for what she put them through despite nothing being her fault—which took her a while to get through her brain, _this wasn’t my fault_.

But still, she couldn’t help but think back to all the things she did and said in hospital not only to Waverly, but to Alex, too.

“Look who’s up,” Alex says with a smile, obviously happy that Nicole is back home. Nicole smiles back at her with teeth, and she hugs Alex tightly. Alex lets out a groan resulting from the bear hug.

Nicole laughs. “Sorry, I just missed you.”

“Girl I saw you everyday for 7 weeks,” Alex says, sitting down again beside Waverly who’s wearing Nicole’s favorite smile (All of her smiles are her favorite.)

“You know what I mean,” Nicole says, sitting on the other side of Waverly and throwing her legs on top of hers.

Alex smiles. “I know. How are you?”

“I’m okay. That nap—”

“Just because it’s the same day, doesn’t mean that was a nap,” Waverly says with a pointed look.

Nicole laughs. “Right. Whatever though, how are you guys? I know I was a pain sometimes, and I can’t even imagine how you felt when you found out I was in the hospital, or when you found me, Alex.”

“I’m not afraid to admit that without Alex,” Waverly says, putting her hand over Alex’s, “I would’ve completely lost it. Thanks for being there not only for Nicole, but for me, too.”

Alex gives her a smile. “Don’t thank me, Waves. I wouldn’t have been able to get through this without you either.”

Nicole, who’s watching them with a soft smile on her face says, “Look at that, another reason to be grateful for what happened to me.”

❧

“Haughshot!” Wynonna yells when she walks into Nicole’s apartment a few days later. She hugs her tightly and says, “Man, don’t tell anyone I said this, but I missed you.”

“Uhh, we’re all here, Earp,” Rosita says, carrying in a couple bags. “We all heard you.”

“Shut up, Rosy,” Wynonna says, flipping her the bird.

Nicole, who’s standing beside the door with an arm around Waverly, has a grin on her face that could light up the world.

“Thanks for coming guys, I—it means a lot, really.”

Jeremy comes in after Doc and Dolls, stumbling on the suitcase Wynonna left beside the door. Nicole grabs him arms before he falls with a laugh and hugs him.

“Of course, Nicole,” Doc says. “Wynonna wouldn’t stop talking you. One might even say she’s developed a crush on you.”

Waverly scoffs, and Wyonna says, “Can you blame me? She’s Haught as hell. Almost as hot as me,” Wynonna winks as they all sit around the living room.

Waverly glares at her, and squeezes Nicole’s hand unknowingly. “You’re sleeping outside, Nonna.”

Wynonna puts her hands up in surrender.

“Speaking of hot girls,” Rosita speaks up. “I’ve been seeing someone.”

“Me too!’ Jeremy says with a grin.

“Yes, more people for The Unkillable Gay Squad!” Waverly says with excitement. Everyone gets straight to talking right away about things that are going on their lives, and after 30 minutes, Dolls speaks up.

“In all seriousness,” Dolls says, “How are you doing, Nicole?”

Nicole shrugs. “I’m alright. Not bad, but not really good either, you know?”

Everyone nods.

“You scared the shit out us, Nicole,” Wynonna says with a sad smile.

“Yeah. After Doc told us what went down, we all got together, and you know what we did?” Rosita asks.

“What?” Nicole asks.

“We prayed,” she says with a laugh.

“Why is that funny?” Nicole asks.

Waverly looks at Nicole. “No one here believes in God, baby.”

Nicole gives them a shocked look. “Oh.”

“We weren’t ready for you to go, Nicole,” Jeremy says.

“We still have so much to do together,” Dolls adds. “I still want a chance to kick your ass in a boxing match.”

Nicole laughs, tears gathering in her eyes. “I love you guys,” Nicole says, wiping her tears. Waverly kisses her forehead. “I didn’t have my parents. I only had my grandma, but as you guys know, she passed away years ago, but you guys have made me feel like I have a family again. It’s good to know that I have people who care about me.”

“You deserve it, Nicole,” Wynonna says, reaching across from chair she’s sitting on and squeezing Nicole’s hand.

“Thank you,” Nicole says, looking around and meeting everyone’s eyes, so that they know she means it. “All of you.”

Suddenly, she starts feeling drowsy. She lays her head on Wavelry’s shoulder and in 30 seconds, she’s asleep.

“Holy shit,” Rosita says.

“Yeah,” Wavery says, running her hands through Nicole’s hair. “Just like that.”

“How is she doing, really?” Dolls asks.

“She’s alright during the day, just a couple headaches that she sleeps off and she passes out like this at least once a day, but it’s at night when she scares me. She wakes up terrified, and I don’t really know what to do most of the time. But, Alex helps keep me sane.”

They all nod in understanding, and Wynonna asks, “Where _is_ Alex?”

“Here!” Alex says, opening up the door behind them. “And I come bearing pizza!”

“Yes!” Wynonna says, getting up to help Alex. “This is why you’re my favorite friend.”

They leaves the pizza on the coffee table, and Alex greets everyone with a hug. When she kisses Waverly’s cheek in greeting, she points at Nicole, “Did she pass out?”

“Just now actually,” Waverly says.

“How are you?” Alex asks. She was the only person who’d apparently remembered to ask her that, not that she was angry about it, but it was nice to hear.

“I’m good,” she says. Alex gives her a pointed look, and she laughs. “Really. Thanks for asking, but hey, can you do me a favor?”

“Anything,” Alex says. Alex was beyond grateful for Waverly. She made Nicole happy unlike ever before, and she didn’t know what would’ve happened if Waverly wasn’t here with Nicole.

“Give me a pizza?” Waverly asks with a cheeky smile.

Alex snorts. “Which kind?”

❧

“You don’t remember anything?” Waverly asks a little over a week later to Nicole as they eat Chinese food as Cheers plays in the background.

Nicole shakes her head, playing with her noodles. “I will, though. I’ve been getting less headaches when I think, so that’s a good thing right?”

“That’s a great thing,” Waverly says, bumping her shoulder into Nicole’s.

Nicole gives her a dimpled smile. Waverly’s surprised when she suddenly feels Nicole’s lips on her, but it’s definitely not a bad surprise, especially when Nicole’s tongue makes it’s way into her mouth.

Nicole puts the food in her hands on the coffee table after pulling apart and while she kisses Waverly again, she takes the food out of her hands and puts it beside her. Nicole lays Waverly down on the floor careful while biting her bottom lip. Waverly feels Nicole’s love for her in the passionate kiss.

After a while of making out, Waverly’s need for air is becoming desperate, but she doesn’t want to pull apart. She hadn’t kissed Nicole like this in a long time. Waverly breathes in through her nose instead, and wraps her lips around Nicole’s tongue. Nicole lets out a moan, and she ends the kiss by sucking on Waverly’s lower lip.

Waverly opens her eyes to find Nicole looking back at her with a grin. “I love kissing you,” Waverly says.

Nicole lowers her head in response, kissing her nose, in between her eyebrows, and finally her forehead. When she sees that Waverly’s eyes are closed, she kisses her eyelids, too.

Nicole gets off of Waverly and lays beside her, their arms touching.

“It’s hard,” Nicole says. “Staying here all of the time, not working. I miss my job, you know? I miss sleeping through a night, I miss good dreams.” She turns, resting her head on her hands to face Waverly. “Thank you, Waverly.”

Waverly looks up at her. “You don’t have to thank me, Nicky. I chose to be here.”

“Yes, and you haven’t left when you could have. You probably miss Purgatory and everyone.”

Waverly give her a smile. “I do, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to be here.”

“You’ve been here 9 weeks!” Nicole says in awe.

“And I will continue to be here as long as you need me.”

Nicole looks at her in astonishment. “You’re amazing, but I’m serious. Thank you. For always being here, for taking care of me, for dealing with my bad moods, for helping me get back to sleep after a nightmare, and for being the greatest girlfriend ever.”

“I am pretty great, aren’t I?”

Nicole laughs and kisses her cheek. “You’re extraordinary, Waves.”

❧

“Nicole, wake up!”

Nicole looks at Waverly with wide eyes, her chest visible with sweat from the moonlight making it look like gleaming water drops on a plant, and breathing hard. Her eyes are filled with terror—a look that Waverly had unfortunately become accustomed with.

Life was crazy. She couldn’t believe that just hours ago she was kissing Nicole like she was the air she needed to breathe—ironically—and now here she was again, about to soothe Nicole from another nightmare. Life really was a crazy rollercoaster.

She realized it then, everything, all that had happened to Nicole—it was _bullshit_.

“It’s okay, baby,” Waverly says, her own heart beating fast. “Come here.” She hugs Nicole to her chest and Nicole hugs her waist tightly. “You’re okay, Nicky. I’ve got you.”

Nicole breathes in Waverly, trying to steady her fast heart. She doesn’t cry, not anymore, not since she started sleeping beside Waverly. In the hospital, she’d have tears running down her face, sobbing and afraid, but ever since she was back home with Waverly holding her, she was no longer as scared as she used to be.

When Wavery feels Nicole’s breathing get back to normal, Nicole says, “When will they stop?” She sounds small and vulnerable, and there’s not much Waverly can do about it.

Waverly knew it’d be a while. Even after she remembered, the nightmares would still continue, maybe not every night, but they wouldn’t stop yet. But, she wouldn’t tell her that. So she settled for something else. “I don’t know, baby. I don’t know.”

Nicole lets out a sigh so sad, Waverly’s heart breaks.

“What I _do_ know,” she adds, “is that I will be with you every step of the way. I’ll be by your side for as long as you’ll have me, Nicole.”

Nicole doesn’t say anything, and Waverly assumes that she fell asleep. She lays back against the pillow, so Nicole can rest against her chest, still. She’s surprised when Nicole speaks up in a small voice, almost shyly.

“I want you by side forever.”

Waverly’s heart skips a beat. She kisses Nicole’s head, her lips lingering for a long time.

“ _Forever_ ,” she agrees.

❧

Waverly was tired. For the past 2 weeks, she’s hadn’t gotten much sleep with Nicole waking her up every night. By no means was she tired of it or annoyed, but she did wish that she could get a full night’s sleep. She could ask Alex to sleep over some day, but it seemed unfair because she was still working. Meanwhile Waverly was an author with passive income, and she didn’t think she had the right to complain.

Which is why, today, she decided to take a few hours to herself—as alone as one can get in the big city—and go to a nearby coffee shop, get a couple cups of caffiene in her system, and write. She hadn’t worked on their memoir in a while because she decided that she needed to stick to fiction for the time being. She could only take so much reality. She also decided that it was time to look back at all those short stories she’d written and finally turn them into a short story collection.

After about 3 hours, she thought that it was time to go back home. Then, she realized she’d called Nicole’s apartment in a whole other country home, and her mind went to when Nicole told her that she wanted her forever.

There was no doubt in her mind that Nicole would be the woman she ended up marrying, but hearing it out loud was so special, so real, and not as scary as she thought it would be. The thought of spending the rest of her life with Nicole, of them living together whether in Purgatory, New York, or some other city entirely, made her feel an excitement that only someone who’s sure they’ve found their soulmate can feel.

Lost in her thoughts, she walks into Nicole’s apartment. “Nicole, I’m back!” Waverly yells, dropping her bag onto the couch. When she gets no answer, she assumes that Nicole is sleeping. She walks into her bedroom, looking forward to taking an afternoon nap, cuddled up with her girlfriend, but she sees something that she shouldn’t be seeing—an empty bed.

“What the—?” Waverly mutters to herself. “Nicole? Where are you?” She yells. Worried, she walks into the bathroom, her mind already imagining Nicole on the bathroom floor with blood running down her head from falling asleep suddenly.

She feels both relief and worry when she doesn’t find Nicole in there either. After some more yelling and searching the small apartment, her fretting increases to the point where her hands are shaking because she knows exaclty where Nicole is.

Outside.

And that was not a problem. Except, Alex was working and hadn’t been home, which meant that Nicole—with all of her stubbornness—went for a walk or for coffee or for anything _alone_.

She can feel both her panic and anger fighting within her, trying to be the bigger emotion, a boxing match just like the one Wynonna and Nicole fought together. And how did that end? With Nicole on the floor. With that thought, panic wins.

She does the first thing that comes to her mind—calls Nicole. With her heart beating hard and fast in her chest, the pounding deafening in her ears, she sits, the dial tone beeping in her ear while she waits. It’s almost louder than her heart. Almost.

Nicole doesn’t answer, and Waverly’s about to hang up when she finally picks up.

“Hello?” Nicole answers. Her voice is soft, hesitant because she knows she shouldn’t be out. Waverly can hear the bustling and hustling city in the back—someone cursing, honking cars. She feels a weight lifted off of her chest and shoulders—her whole goddamn body, really—and she has a hundred different ways to answer Nicole, but she sticks to the one really cares about right now.

“Are you okay?” she asks.

“I’m fine,” Nicole says. “Waverly, I—”

Now that Waverly knows that Nicole’s okay, she feels fury take the place of the concern she felt. She shakes her head as if Nicole can see. “ _Don’t_ ,” she says. “We’ll talk when you get home, which I swear, Nicole, better be happening right now.” She hung up the phone without waiting for an answer.

She lays her head back against the couch, grabs one of the pillows beside her, and holds it over her face. She screams into it. She’s not sure why she did that, but it felt fucking _good_. She took deep breaths after and thought about Nicole. She couldn’t believe that Nicole snuck out like that. Does she not realize that she could pass out at any moment? That not everyone is kind, that someone might find her and just _take_ her. They’ve gone out a few times, why couldn’t she just ask her like other times?

But Waverly knew why. Because Nicole was still that cop that refused to ask for help sometimes because she was ashamed, but when would she get through her brain that there was nothing to be ashamed of?

Waverly lets out a sigh and runs a hand through her hair, and she gets up to make some tea. She needs something to relax. She puts the water in the kettle, and then sits back down on the couch. She hears the doorknob’s vexatious squeak. She doesn’t turn. She keep her eyes on the blank tv. Nicole crosses in front of her, and she feels the the space beneath her dip as Nicole sits beside her.

Waverly clenches her jaw. “Why?”

“I wanted some fresh air,” Nicole says.

Waverly scoffs, turning her head to meet Nicole’s eyes. At least she feels guilty. “If all you wanted was some fresh air, you could’ve hung out at the front of the building, not go—where _did_ you go?”

“I took a walk.”

“To _where_?”

Nicole doesn’t answer. Waverly gives her a look.

Nicole lets out a sigh. “To the precinct. I didn’t go in!”

“I don’t care if you went in or not! I care that you decided to go somewhere behind my back when you know how dangerous it is!”

Nicole rolls her eyes. “You’re being dramatic, Waves. I’m fine.”

“Because you got lucky! You shouldn’t have gone over there!” Waverly yells. “Not alone,” she adds.

“I’m not helpless!” Nicole screams back, but something in her mind captures something and she doesn’t notice it.

Wavelry grabs Nicole’s face, lowering her voice again. “I know that. You’re strong and capable, Nicole, _I know that_. But you don’t have to be afraid or ashamed to ask for help. You had a serious injury and if you want to get better you have to listen to what Doctor Marie says, that means not going anywhere alone for a little while longer.

“I was worried! You could’ve been out there, passed out, and something could’ve happened.”

“But—”

“No, Nicole. No buts. Don’t scare like that again, _please_!”

Nicole studies her eyes for a moment and sees the genuine fear that she had and the anger. She lets out a sigh and realizes how stupid she’d been, she _did_ get lucky, but if there’s anything she learned from this whole experience, it was that sometimes, luck just ran out. She shakes her head, “Okay. Okay. I’m sorry, Waverly. I won’t do that again.”

Waverly doesn’t answer for awhile. Instead, she runs her eyes through Nicole’s entire face just like she did when they first met at the airport—that seemed like a lifetime ago—and she kisses her, hard. Nicole kisses back just as hard.

When Waverly pulls apart, she notices that Nicole suddenly looks exhausted. She puts her hand on Nicole’s waist and rubs her thumb in circles. “Are you okay?” she asks again. “You look tired.”

Nicole chuckles. “I am.” Her mind is running through something Waverly said. “I think I’m going to take nap.”

“I’ll go with you,” Waverly says.

“That would be nice,” Nicole says with a soft smile. Waverly wraps an arm around her waist, afraid that if she doesn’t, Nicole will tumble as easily as a dainty flower.

When Nicole lies down, Waverly’s about to lay down with her until she remembers that she left water boiling on the stove.

“Hey babe, let me wait for the water to finish boiling, then I’ll lie down with you, alright? Are you going to sleep or do you want some tea?”

Nicole ponders it for a moment, tea always helps her sleep better. “Tea sounds great,” she says with a smile.Waverly’s about to leave the room, but Nicole calls her again. “Wait.”

Waverly turns to look at her.

Nicole lets out a sigh of disappointment. “I’m sorry, Waverly. I know I shouldn’t have gone out myself even if I am getting better, the rare headaches are a testament to that, but I was an ass and I put you in hard position. I won’t do something so stupid again.”

Waverly nods. “I know, Nicky. I’ll be right back.”

Nicole nods and lays her head against the pillow. Right away, her mind goes to what Waverly said— _You shouldn’t have gone over there!_

She’s not sure why, but the words sound familiar to her, the way a face of a stranger looks like a family member when you’re walking down the street.

Eventually, it clicks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cliffhanger, I know. . . Unfortunately, once again, I won’t be uploading the next chapter until the end of the month!
> 
> Also, just to let you know, I wanted more Wynonna/Nicole moments in here, but it seemed like too much, but there will be more later on <3
> 
> Let me know what you thought about this chapter, though! I answer to all comments cause you guys take the time to say something, the least I can do is respond :-)


	12. Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so sorry for the long wait. I’m so fucking busy it’s the worst (also the best). But, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter!!
> 
> Happy reading :-)

Waverly wasn’t sure how, but she suddenly felt that something was wrong. _Very_ wrong. She’d turned off the screaming kettle, her ears barely registering the sudden storm that was raging outside, her eyes only half seeing the bolts of lightening shining through the window, the shadows striking the couch in one quick electric motion.

It was a gut feeling that now had her running through the hallway—if this were a movie, she’d be jumping over a couch, her left arm holding her steadily. She passes by the pictures of Nicole and Alex, and of her and Nicole smiling in a selfie they’d taken at Coney Island, and one of her favorites—a picture of her slow dancing with Nicole that Jeremy had taken on the night they met.

Waverly barges into Nicole’s room and her heart is beating to the offbeat of the thunder roaring outside, and the sight before her eyes makes her heart stop in a terrified worry only a half of another could feel.

❧

_(I tried writing this part over and over again until I decided to quit. I couldn’t write it, but I knew there was one person who could. Nicole. That’s why this next part is in her words, in her own unique point of you.)_

_I couldn’t breathe. It was the first thing I noticed. But then I started noticing other things, too. My heart was pounding like never before, if it beat any harder I thought it would cause an earthquake. I’d lost control—of my thoughts, my breathing. It was a horror I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy._

_I remember now of a book Waverly told me to read once: Gerald’s Game by Stephen King, her favorite author. In it, he wrote something that I never thought would be of any use to me—“Anyone ever asks you what panic is, now you can tell them: an emotional blank spot that leaves you feeling as if you’ve been sucking on a mouthful of pennies.”_

_I’d never had a panic attack before, but all of that—that’s what it was. And the storm outside, the thunder, it was the cherry on fucking top is all I can say._

_But remembering all of it, the memories rushing over me like a wave—it frightened me more than the panic attack. I was in bed, and then I remembered the words that Waverly said to me, and it all clicked._

_“You shouldn’t have gone over there.”_

_That’s what she told me when I went out by myself like a stubborn fool. That’s what_ he _told me, too. Right before he shot me._

_I was in the house, the house that was just supposed to contain a fighting married couple. I saw the woman on the floor, the one that was stabbed with glass from an old lamp covered with dust. When I called to my partner and he didn’t answer, I turned around, my eyes about to roam past the wide open door to see him. And that’s when I saw._

_The jars—the eyeballs, the fingers of all sizes—sitting on shelves upon shelves like books._

_I knew the perps were still in the house, so I got up, slowly, quietly. That’s when I made my first mistake. Since I didn’t want to make noise by taking out my gun, I left it right beside my hip, and walked into the hallway. My eyes were on the ones in the jar. As a young girl, I was taught to always maintain eye contact, and this time I wanted to look away so badly, but I didn’t. I_ couldn’t.

_So, I walked silently into the room, thankful that the door had been wide open so that no one could hear the squeaking it most likely made when pushed slowly. There were more jars—organs that I didn’t recognize, random parts of bodies. Some of the jars, I noticed, were emptier than others, and that’s when I put the pieces together._

_Cannibals._

_My heart, which was beating hard in my throat, dropped all the way down to my stomach and stopped beating. But, I was a cop. Shit happens on the job, everyone knows that, and I couldn’t just run out even though I badly wanted to. Without wanting to, without wanting to take my eyes away from the eyes, I turned my head to take in the entire room. I had never regretted anything more because, unsurprisingly, it got worse._

_There were 2 of them. 2 bodies. 2_ incomplete _bodies. My eyes landed on the first one, a woman (I could tell from the long hair, which told me it hadn’t been that long since they’d captured her.) Her breasts were gone._

_Then my eyes moved to the left . . . and down. That’s when I almost puked my guts out, but I didn’t. It would be bad for the evidence. A child. But, I won’t say anything about that. I’ll say this though: I cried. I hadn’t even noticed when I started, but I felt tears streaming down my face, and I caught them before they hit the ground._

_It was the worst thing I’d ever seen, so I walked back. I took out my radio and called for back up, making noise with every footstep I took—the second mistake. I wasn’t as careful because I just wanted to get the fuck out of there! So with every footstep I made, a sound was heard, and when I walked back to the living room, they were standing with their guns in hand, and he said, “You shouldn’t have gone over there.”_

_Bang._

/The noise rung in my ear, and I felt something hit my vest. I took out my gun, but it was too late. /

_Bang. Bang._

_Two more, and I was on the floor. And he was above me. And he lifted his foot. And my world had turned black._

_I remembered it all. I didn’t care that he’d hit me anymore because I wanted the memories to go away as badly as I wanted to look away from those eyes. But I didn’t, and the memories remained._

❧

“Nicole!” Waverly says, a ball of worry suddenly at the pit of her stomach. Under the doorway, Waverly sees Nicole on the bed just where she left her, but instead of finding her lying down and looking at the ceiling as she waits for her tea, she’s sitting up with her knees curled up close to her body, rocking back and forth as her head is buried in her knees. Outside, the thunder continues to roar.

A panic attack.

Waverly runs to her and sits right in front of her and rests on her knees. She has to control her breathing herself. “Nicole, hey, baby,” Waverly says, finding Nicole’s hands. “You’re okay, love. You’re alright. Listen to my voice. You can do it, listen to my voice. Okay, good.” Nothing had changed, but it was good to encourage, right?

Nicole’s hands are still trembling and she hadn’t stopped rocking. _Shit,_ Waverly thinks. “Okay, copy my breathing. Can you do that?” Waverly starts taking long deep breaths in and out, and after a second she realizes that Nicole was attempting to emulate her. “Good, love. Okay, can you look at me? Look at me, Nicole.”

 _Boom._ Thunder. Loud fucking thunder.

Waverly grabs Nicole’s face, and slowly helps her lift it until she meets her eyes. The look in them, the haunted look, it chills Waverly, and it makes her realize . . . she remembers everything. But she can focus on that later. “Hi, Nicole,” Waverly whispers as she stares into her eyes—it was like staring into a foggy bay with rough waters. “Copy my breathing, keep doing that.”

Nicole gives her a single curt nod with broken eyes. After a few minutes of encouraging and breathing, Nicole’s stops shaking and she’s sitting up straight, but by no means has her heart stopped pounding, the fear in her eyes is only more real.

“You’re okay,” Waverly says. “I’ve got you, babe.” She takes her face into her hands and caresses her cheeks softly.

“I remember, Waverly. Everything. That kid. The poor kid,” Nicole sobs, silent tears running down her cheeks which are caught by Waverly’s thumbs.

“I know, baby. I know.”

_Boom._

Nicole flinches. “They got him, right? They’re all going to jail?” Her voice is desperate, a strong underlying anger underneath that makes Waverly think that she should keep her eye on Nicole for a different reason.

“Yes. I promise,” Waverly says. The trial was set for a few months from now—no one was out on bail—but there was no doubt that these men would go to jail—there was proof of everything. They could pin it on the wife—who had just been a victim of a bad marriage—Waverly supposed, but they fucked it up and decided to stab her with glass, so that was out of the question. Even though it was months away, Waverly is already worried for how Nicole would do at trial.

“I’m really tired. Can we sleep?”

“Yeah, yes, of course,” Waverly says, perfectly willing to do whatever Nicole needs. She lays them both down until Nicole’s head rests upon Waverly’s chest.

Nicole tries to ground herself with the beat of Waverly’s heart. It works. Her heart has gone back down to a steady beat, her body completely still once again. She closes her eyes, but a flash of bodies invade her mind. She opens them fast and wide and her heart picks up again, but she holds in the gasp as to not scare Waverly.

She tries again. _Jars. Fingers. Half empty jars of skin._

She decides that she won’t get any sleep that night, but she can’t tell Waverly. It’ll only make her worry more. And so as her eyes are wide open, a shadow of a bolt of lightening flashes in between Nicole’s head and Waverly’s chin.

❧

When Waverly wakes up she notices that beyond the window is a dark grey sky. It makes her believe that it’s early in the morning—5, probably—but when she looks at the alarm clock beside her, she’s shocked to see that it’s fifteen past ten. The second thing she notices is that there’s no weight on her chest where there was last night. With a groggy mind and furrowed brows, she turns her head to the right and her worry spikes when she doesn’t find Nicole.

“Nicole?” she says, getting up right away, her bare feet touching the cold hardwood floor—the suddenness feels like she’s walking on ice as she must’ve taken off her socks as she slept last night like she usually does.

“Nicole!” she yells this time. When she doesn’t hear an answer, her heart stops for a split second. How could she be so stupid? Why didn’t she notice when Nicole woke up? What if she went out again? What if—“Nicole?” Waverly asks, her voice rising higher in confusion when she spots her girlfriend sitting on the table, a half empty cup of coffee in front of her as she stares at the middle of the table with blank eyes. A light rain starts hitting the window, softly. It’s a noise that would normally relax her, but she’d kill for silence right about now.

“Babe,” Waverly says as she sits next to Nicole, who snaps out of her gaze.

“Oh, hey,” Nicole says, “I didn’t hear you. How are you feeling?” Her eyes are faraway still. She’s only half there.

Waverly raises her eyebrows. “Me? How are _you_ feeling? I called you three times and you didn’t hear me. Are you okay?—Wait, no, that’s a dumb question. Are you feeling any better? I mean, Jesus, Nicole, your eyes are red. Did you get any sleep?”

Nicole lies. “Yeah. Just not enough, I guess,” she shrugs.

“I hope you’re a better liar when you’re a cop,” Waverly says, a sad smile on her face. “You didn’t get any sleep, did you?”

Nicole looks at her guiltily. “No.”

Waverly lets out a sigh. “Why didn’t you wake me? I could’ve kept you company, Nicole.”

“I know, but I didn’t want to bother you. You passed out really quick. You were obviously exhausted.”

“It doesn’t matter, I—”

“Yes, it does, actually,” Nicole says with a stern look.

Waverly nods, “Alright, fine. Thank you for letting me sleep. Now, why couldn’t you sleep?”

Nicole rolls her eyes. “You know why.”

Waverly nods again slowly, ignoring the obvious annoyance in Nicole’s eyes. “Doesn’t matter. Talk to me, love.”

“I don’t want to right now,” Nicole says stubbornly.

Waverly stares at her for a moment. “Okay. But, come on, you’re going to sleep.”

At that, Nicole’s eyes widen with a sudden terror in them that shocks Waverly, and when she speaks her voice is small. “I can’t.”

Waverly clenches her jaw in worry, and she gets up, takes Nicole’s hand, and leads her to the couch. She sits and tells Nicole to lay down, and Nicole does so, her red hair sprayed all over Waverly’s lap. Waverly grabs her phone from the coffee table where she had left it last, and puts on music with no lyrics. “Waverly, I can’t close my eyes. I see them. I see the bodies.”

Waverly bends down and kisses her forehead, then her nose. “I know,” she whispers. “But you can’t stay awake forever, sweetheart. I’ll be here with you the whole time, I promise.”

With scared eyes, like a toddler walking into a black forest, she nods, but doesn’t close her eyes. With that, Waverly does what she does best. With a deep breath and with her thumb making circles on Nicole’s forehead, she begins.

“There was a girl—she had brown eyes and brown hair. She was happy. She lived in an apartment in New York City which is where she always wanted to live. She was married to an amazing woman, she wrote for a living, and she was one of the strongest people. People envied her sometimes. They all assumed that she was only that happy because she’d always had a perfect and happy life.

“But it was far from the truth.

“This girl—she lived years in a family with practically no money. Her parents and 3 siblings all lived with their grandparents. Sometime’s they had different meals everyday, sometimes they had the same meal for 3 days. Life was a real rollercoaster. Things were good sometimes, then things were hard again. But, they were rarely great.

“She wrote. A lot. But it wasn’t taking her anywhere. She worked hard, but no one was seeing her work, and it made her think—why do I keep working? She envied a lot of people every now and then, when life was really shitty.

“Still, she was strong. She had no choice but to be strong, to keep her head up, and to keep going. Life stopped for no one. You could trip and fall, but everyone else keeps walking forward, so you can’t just lie there and wait for someone to notice you and help you up. You have to get up yourself and start walking again.

“So, that’s what she did. But, she fell _a lot_. She wanted to quit often. She wanted to cry and punch walls and just _fucking scream_. She felt like the world was against her sometimes—like the Universe was putting bumps and cracks on the sidewalks just for her, just so _she_ could fall.

“And one day, this girl realized—that _is_ what was happening. She was _supposed_ to be fucking up. Because she was strong, and all of the mistakes she was making, all of the hard things going on in her life—they didn’t make her weaker. They made her stronger.

“She could get through anything. She knew that then. Whatever the Universe threw at her, she would get through it.”

“And she did,” Waverly says, her fingers playing softly with Nicole’s hair. Her breathing had slowed just as she finished. It’s like she was waiting for the story to end before being able to fall asleep.

Waverly smiles softly. It was sad, but it was also filled with hope. She bends down and kisses Nicole’s forehead and whispers in her ear.

“And _you will too_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it’s not that long, sorry! I won’t take 2 months to upload the next chapter this time . . . Let me know what you thought in the comments ❤️ 
> 
> Also I made a Twitter—@WritingInMind—if you’re interested in getting updates of where I am with this fic and other wayhaught works :-) Hope to see you there!


	13. Begin Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I want to address something really quick.
> 
> The last 3 chapters of this had been hard to write. They were filled with so much pain and sadness, and I think the reason they took me so long to upload was because of that. Nicole has a long journey of PTSD in front of her and I was going to write all about it, but I realized that could go on for a few more chapters, and I just couldn’t bring myself to drag it on for that long. Then I figured I would fit it into one, but I couldn’t.
> 
> I didn’t realize how much writing these chapters was taking out of me. I was dreading writing Latibule thus the monthly updated instead of the usual 1 to 2 weeks. So, in this chapter, their is very little of Nicole struggling with a panic attack. After that, I have time jumps where things are better and lighter. In between, I write some of the struggles that Nicole went through, but that’s it.
> 
> I’m sorry if it all seems too rushed, but I honestly just could not write any more sadness. I literally felt a weight off my chest when I made this decision. To anyone who felt this way about the chapters, I’m so sorry. I never meant to make you feel bad. 
> 
> I just did what felt right at the time, and now I’m doing what feels right again. I think this chapter turned out alright, not rushed or random, but good. I hope you feel the same way about this chapter.
> 
> But that said, happy reading . . .

_Let me tell you about one of my favorite memories with Nicole. We were in Purgatory, and Wynonna was 8 months pregnant, so naturally, she was at the Black Badge Division, boxing away with a boxing bag. She wasn’t training anyone those last couple of months and everyone refused to fight her. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t because she was pregnant and people were afraid of hurting her—well, that_ was  _a reason—but mainly, it was because people_ feared  _her. No need to sugarcoat this, she was hormonal. And she would bust a lip with one punch. I know because that’s what she did to Jeremy._

 _Anyway, Wynonna’s mood swings that day were particularly messy, but mainly low. She was grouchy, her back hurt, her feet were bloated, and she wanted to let out the anger the only way she knew how. Nicole tried to convince her to stay home, that Doc would be there any second after going to check on Shorty’s. I tried to convince her to stay home too, but that didn’t work either. When I say she was grouchy, I mean she was_ grouchy _. Grouchy enough that she’d started crying for no apparent reason other than anger._

_Nicole, being the absolute sweetheart she is, took her to the gym. I went with them, and we let Wynonna punch at a bag. Nicole and I were staring at her from a bench by Dolls’ office, under a piece of paper giving details about the gym’s hours. We were there five minutes before closing, so the place was emptying out. It was mostly quiet because Dolls had already turned off the music from the speaker, announcing that everyone had to start leaving soon. We could hear only a couple men chattering as they drank from their protein shakes and Wynonna’s grunts._

_Nicole and I hadn’t been talking, but suddenly she said, “I can’t wait until we have kids.” And it reminded me a hell of a lot of the day she “proposed” (I’ll talk more about this later) and I laughed at the memory. Unfortunately, Nicole mistook it as a sign of me laughing at her comment and the hurt in her eyes broke my heart._

_“Oh no, baby,” I said, bringing her close to me and kissing her forehead. “I was laughing at something else, but really? You want kids?”_

_“Don’t you?” Nicole asked, probably thinking the same thing that I was._ Why hadn’t we had this discussion before? /Especially considering that we’d been married for a month already. 

_I said yes, and she smiled at me. And it was a smile that made me feel like I’d just woken up to a sunrise filled with magical colors. It warmed my chest and spread to my entire body._

_The idea of us having children made her so happy that she got up and said that she was going to go box with Wynonna—carefully, of course_. 

 _And she_ was  _careful. She didn’t really punch Wynonna. The baby could’ve been hurt, but that mean that didn’t make Wynonna angry. So, Wynonna did it again. She punched Nicole and busted her lip open. My eyes opened wide in shock and I ran to her to make sure that she was okay, but what I saw was surprising._

 _That crazy little asshole was_ laughing. _She was wincing every time she did, but she was cracking up like an egg in the air. Then, Wynonna was laughing, and she sat herself down on the mat and held her stomach. So, I laughed, too. And it felt damn good._

 _Now, I guess there wasn’t much of a point to this story, but then again, this_ is _a memoir, and sometimes memoirs are weird, wouldn’t you say? I’m writing this because I wanted to be open with you, my reader. So, who’s to say I can’t throw in a random memory to remind you that though our love story was difficult in the beginning, it is also, in my opinion, the most romantic, the most freeing, and the most happy. But, of course I would say that. It’s mine and Nicole’s._

_(And Nicole’s giving me a weird look right now. I’m laughing at the memory, but she doesn’t know that.)_

_With that said, lets get back to a reality. Let’s get back to when Nicole woke up from her nap on my lap._

❧

A knock on the door brings Waverly back to reality. She had been reliving the memories of when Nicole and her first met, rereading their messages on Tumblr in her mind, going back to the beginning. Waverly looks down to her lap, hoping that Nicole remains asleep—it’s only been 45 minutes after all, and she was hoping she’d be knocked out for a good two hours—but Nicole’s eyes flutter open like a butterfly’s wings. Despite the short amount of sleep, Nicole looked better, far from great, but better. Her eyes were no longer red, but the bags were still visible, and Waverly cursed whoever knocked.

“Did someone knock?” Nicole asks, standing up and stretching. “How long was I asleep for?”

“Yes, and not long. I wasn’t expecting anyone today, but . . .” Waverly trails off as Nicole walks to the door. She seems to have momentarily forgotten everything that went on last night, or is simply refusing to acknowledge it.

She watches Nicole open the door, and Waverly looks to see who it is, and she smiles when her eyes land on Alex, but she’s confused when Alex’s smile fades and her eyes widen, confusion invading them like an army. Waverly’s eyes narrow, but then her eyes travel back to Nicole who’s walking backward with her hands covering her ears as she shakes her head back and forth.

“Nicole?” Waverly says, standing up from the couch. As she gets closer to Nicole, she realizes that Nicole is whispering _no_ over and over again. Alex steps closer, and Nicole’s _no_ gets a little louder. Every time Alex takes another step, Nicole’s voice raises until suddenly she’s screaming it and backed up to a wall where she slides down to the floor.

“Stop!” Waverly says to Alex, looking between her and Nicole and wondering what the hell is going on. “Alex, I don’t know what’s wrong and I’m sorry, but I need you to leave.” Alex takes another step forward, terrified, but Waverly shakes her head. “Stop, _please_.”

Alex gives her another look, but then nods and leaves, finally letting Waverly squat down in front of Nicole who’s having another panic attack. Waverly eases her back to her like she had done the night before.

“What happened?” Waverly asks, eyes wide as she caresses Nicole’s face after completely bringing her back to the present.

“The eyes,” Nicole says, calmer now but hands still shaking. “It’s the eyes from the jar. _Green_.”

“Like Alex’s,” Waverly says, realization coming over her as she closes her eyes, making a tear run down her face.

“I’m sorry,” Nicole says, her voice cracking. “I’m sorry, I’m just so fucked up.”

“No Nicole. Don’t apologize. You are _not_ fucked up. Your brain is just going through something right now, but we’re going to get through it, together.”

“I don’t know if I will,” Nicole says, shaking her head.

“I _do_ ,” Waverly says fiercely. “I also know that you are not alone.”

“Do you promise me?”

Waverly nods, this time holding back her tears, and says, “I do.”

❧

_One month later_

Nicole and Waverly sit beside each other on Nicole’s couch as they talked about Nicole returning back to work the next week. Nicole would be on desk duty for the time being, but she couldn’t help but think that if it weren’t for Waverly, Nicole would still be lying in bed angry at herself and the world. She’d still be lying in bed with the curtain closed, suddenly closed off to the one woman she wanted to be open with but couldn’t.

“I can’t even begin to express how lucky I am to have you,” Nicole says, playing with Waverly’s hair as her head lays on her shoulder.

“You and I weren’t luck, we were destined to be together.”

Nicole laughs. “Are you sure you’re not a romance writer?”

Waverly rolls her eyes. “Yeah, _Revenants_ isn’t about an heir fighting demons and saving her small town, it’s about how she falls in love with Bobo Del Rey. Because like every girl is told when they’re in kindergarten, “He’s being mean to you because he likes you.” So that’s how she figured she would express her love for Bobo—by killing him.”

Nicole snorts, “Since when have you been so sarcastic?”

Waverly shrugs but doesn’t respond.

“What are you thinking, my love?” Nicole asks.

“You’re okay right now, right?”

Nicole gives her a sad smile and says, “I don’t know if I’m okay, but I’m definitely better. That I can promise you. I can fight it. I _am_ fighting it— _them_ , my demons, and I'll win.”

Waverly nods with a smile, “I know you will, pretty girl.”

“So, do you want to watch a movie?” Nicole asks.

“Mr. Peabody and Sherman?”

“You read my mind,” Nicole says with a smirk, but before she can put the movie on, there’s a knock at the door. Nicole stands up to open it, and is unsurprised to find Alex.

“Hey,” Alex says, squeezing Nicole in a tight hug. “Hi, Wave.”

“Hey, what are you doing here?” Waverly asks as Alex and Nicole make their way to the couch and sit beside her.

“I just wanted to check up on you guys, see how you were doing.” Alex lays her hand on Nicole’s knee.

“We’re good,” Nicole says, scrunching up her nose as she lays her hand on top of Alex’s. It took a while, but Nicole was able to look at Alex again, and anyone with green eyes for that matter. She’d apologized profusely to her the next time she saw her, all while avoiding eye contact. Alex told her that there was nothing to apologize for and was the one who’d recommended seeing a therapist. Nicole was hesitant at first, but eventually her and Waverly convinced her to go. It was the best decision she could’ve made. “Just about to watch Mr. Peabody and Sherman, actually.”

“Sign me up,” Alex says, taking off her shoes and laying her feet on the coffee table. “I had a long ass day at work, let me tell you . . .”

And with that the 3 woman launch into a conversation that ends up being 3 hours long and the movie is never watched. But after that, Nicole goes to bed exhausted, her brain conjuring up images of _that_ night as it usually did when the sun started to set.

But it’s okay, she really  _was_ getting better. So, Waverly went with her after showing Alex out and told her a story about a girl who fell in love with another girl, and all the crazy adventures they had, and all the problems they solved together. In the end, they got married.

That was Nicole’s favorite part, and instead of a nightmare, she dreamt of her and Waverly somewhere she’d never seen in Purgatory. They were both wearing white dresses, and Nicole was saying, “I do.”

❧

_One month later_

It was just a matter of seeing the precinct’s therapist, and waking up to fight through another day that Nicole was finally _really_ getting better. She’d gotten through her “mild form of depression” as her therapist called it, and all because she learned how to not blame herself for what had happened.

She’d learned to control her anger and the snapping she did, usually at Waverly. Waverly had been her motivator—Nicole hated the hurt she brought into her eyes when she yelled at her as Waverly was trying to help. At the time, she couldn’t help it. She was _furious_ and Waverly was always there.

That didn’t mean that there weren’t days where the memories were too much, enough to send her right back to bed with a heavy heart as if a lock were holding it down to her chest, but even on those days, she knew that she could get through it.

Especially with Waverly by her side. Just like she is right now.

Nicole is sitting on the counter just beside the stove as Waverly cooks them a couple of grilled cheese sandwiches.

“I can’t believe you’re still here,” Nicole says, looking straight at the fridge on the other side of the room. “Don’t you miss Purgatory?”

“Well, yes, but I like it here,” Waverly says as she puts butter on the next piece of bread before laying it on the pan. “But even if I didn’t, even if it was the worst place in the world, I still would’ve stayed.”

“Come here,” Nicole says with a playful grin. She brings in Waverly for a hug, and when she pulls apart she kisses her sweetly before speaking again. “Thank you for being here.”

Waverly nods and kisses her again. Her thank you was enough. Waverly knows that if she’d put everything into words, they’d be there for hours. Waverly knows that with the sincerity and love behind her voice Nicole meant, “Thank you for being there in the middle of the night when I wake up with tears streaming down my face. Thank you for being here after work, for getting me out of bed on the bad days, and for telling me stories and helping me escape.” Sometimes just a few words was enough, and as a writer, Waverly understood that.

“I can’t wait till’ we’re married,” Nicole suddenly says, her finger gliding over the _W_ on the side of her wrist.

Waverly freezes as she’s about to flip the sandwich. “What?”

Nicole, who had just processed what she said, froze too as her eyes widened in horror. “Um—I—uhh.”

Instead of saying anything, they both remained silent for a moment, gathering their thoughts, but both secretly trying their hardest to hold back their smiles. There wasn’t a question of whether they wanted to get married or not, they’d both assumed they would because—well because despite everything, they were in love and wanted to remain in each other’s lives forever. It’s that simple.

That’s why Waverly didn’t have to ask _You want to get married?_ because that was pretty obvious. Instead, she surprised Nicole by picking up her chin and getting her to meet her eyes. Waverly wears an incredibly sweet smile and amused eyes as she speaks. “We _are_ going to get married.”

Nicole instead of saying _Yeah?_ with eyes full of doubt, smiles at Waverly with deep dimples (the bigger the smile, the deeper the dimples) and says, “I know.” Still, it felt good to have a verbal confirmation.

“Here,” Waverly says, taking off a ring. “Pretend this is your engagement ring,” she laughs. “Pretend I just proposed on one knee, and now I’m giving you my ring.”

“Waves?”

“Yup?” Waverly says, ring in mid air.

“That’s _my_ ring, babe.”

“What?” Waverly asks with confused eyes as she studies the ring. “Oh. Yeah, oops. Okay, pretend that you said what I just said and you gave me the ring in a romantic gesture.”

Nicole laughs as Waverly puts the ring back on. “Okay. So, we’re officially engaged?” Her eyes flood with excitement that makes Waverly’s own excitement build up in her chest.

“Randomly so,” Waverly says with an almost dorky grin. “But I’m a writer, ordinary just isn’t my thing.”

With that, Nicole let’s out a squeal and jumps off the counter to pick up Waverly and spin her around. “We’re getting married,” Nicole says as she places Waverly down to kiss her.

Waverly, whose cheeks are hurting already, says, “Yes we are—” and a ringing pops their bubble (but doesn’t break their spell).

Waverly groans and lays her head on Nicoles chest. Nicole laughs and takes out Waverly’s phone from her back pocket before muttering _Oh shit, the sandwich_ and separates from Waverly who leans against the counter.

“Hey, baby girl,” Wynonna says as her face pops up on Waverly’s phone, a nervous smile gracing her features.

“Wynonna, I have some news! Guess w—”

“I have news, too,” Wynonna answers, a laugh of disbelief leaving her mouth.

At this point, Nicole joins Waverly beside the counter. “Everything okay?” Nicole asks, a trace of worry in her voice.

Wynonna takes a deep breath and says—“I’m pregnant.”

Both Nicole’s and Waverly’s eyes widened, “ _What_?”

“You’re going to be an aunt, baby girl!” Wynonna says, a grin growing on her features as if she’d just completely accepted that she was going to be a mom.

“Actually we’re _both_ going to be aunts,” Waverly says, her smile growing impossibly bigger as she looks at Nicole.

“What do you mean?”

“Nicole and I just got engaged!”

This time Wynonna’s eyes widen, “ _What_? Oh my God, congratulations! It’s about goddamn time, too, let me tell you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Nicole says, glaring at Wynonna.

“Who cares? Guys. I’m going to get married _and_ I’m going to be an aunt? I mean, holy shit, Wynonna you’re going to be a mom!” Waverly says with wide eyes.

Nicole sees fear enter Wynonna’s eyes, so right away she says, “And a damn good one.”

She’s surprised to find that the fear melts away. “Yeah, I’m going to be a damn good mom,” Wynonna says, a thankful look in her eyes. Waverly kisses Nicole’s cheek.

“Well, congrats Wynonna! I’m so happy for you and Doc. Tell him I said congratulations, too. I really have to go pee, but I love you, and I’ll see you soon,” Waverly says, already rushing to the restroom before Wynonna can respond.

That leaves Nicole and Wynonna alone after Waverly handed her the phone.

“Hey, I’ve been thinking about something lately, and I want to talk to you about it,” Nicole says, biting her lip.

“Is everything okay?” Wynonna asks.

“Yeah, it’s about Waverly actually.” And with that, Nicole tells Wynonna about the surprise she had planned for Waverly.

A minute later Nicole asks, “Do you like that plan?”

Wynonna nods with a soft grin that says _you’re too good to her_ , and says, “I do.”

❧

_One month later_

It was rare now, but sometimes Nicole would still wake up crying. Waverly never knew what she dreamt about. The dreams were something that Nicole had never felt comfortable sharing with her, and Waverly understood. She did, however, make sure that she shared them with her therapist.

But when Nicole woke up, she always said the same things. “I’m a bad cop. Why didn’t I save them?” And every night, Waverly had to remind her that she saved the future victims. Maybe she didn’t save the people in the room but she saved others. If it weren’t for her, they would still be out there.

And last night was no different, which is why as Waverly walks into the living room, she asks Nicole who’s sitting on the couch with a mug of tea in her hand, how she’s doing.

“Good,” Nicole nods, letting out a deep breath. And she is. The nightmares were the worst, but she was able to handle them better now, and they were rare. She made a mental note to write that down in her journal later, the second thing she’s grateful for. Right after Waverly, who basically moved herself to New York just to take care of her. Even though she’d been fine to go back to work after a while, Waverly still stayed, and Nicole figured that after everything they’d gone through, they couldn’t be a long-distance couple anymore. And it made Nicole come to a conclusion, a conclusion that she would soon share with Waverly. “Do you want to go for a walk? It’s pretty sunny out there, it’s the nicest it’s been all week.”

Waverly gives her a smile. A walk would do both of them some good.

When they step out of the building, they breathe in deeply. Despite the warm weather, the air is still cool, and it feels like a fresh a sip of water after a long run. Their heads feel clear and shoulders light. It’s the absolute greatest they’ve felt in a long time despite the good that they’d recently been experiencing.

Waverly looks at Nicole and then her own hand which she has in between them facing up for Nicole to grab.

Nicole laughs softly at the innocent movement but slides her fingers in between Waverly’s warm ones anyway, and they start to walk.

Everything is different now, _they’re_ different, but different isn’t always bad. It feels like a different beginning, a new chapter. Their last chapter had been hard, harder than anything they’d gone through as a couple so far, but they were stronger and ready for anything.

“Hey, I’ve been wanting to talk to you about something for a while now,” Nicole says to Waverly as she brings up her hand and kisses the back of it.

“Is everything okay?” Waverly looks at her with a worried look.

3 months ago, the look would’ve made Nicole feel a pang up guilt, a _strong_ pang of guilt. She would’ve apologized profusely and blamed herself for the look that Waverly gave her and for causing her stress. But that was then and this is now. And Nicole had worked incredibly hard on herself and in keeping her and Waverly’s relationship good. No matter what, Nicole had never wanted to lose Waverly, and she made damn sure that she didn’t.

Nicole nods, suddenly nervous. “I was just thinking of, I don’t know, moving.”

“Moving?” Waverly asks, her eyes narrowed. “Where?”

Nicole bites her bottom lip. “Purgatory.”

Waverly freezes, forcing Nicole to stop. “You want to move to Purgatory? Are you serious? This isn’t a joke, right?”

Nicole grins. “I promise this isn’t a joke.”

“But what about your job? And your life has always been here, and Alex, and—”

“Waverly, stop,” Nicole says, moving in front of Waverly and laying her hands on her shoulders.

“I’ve already asked myself those questions, but I don’t care. Look, I see you. I know you say you’re happy here, but I know that you miss Purgatory, and I don’t care where we are. As long as I’m with you, I’m okay. And I just can’t be away from you anymore, the idea of you having to go back to Purgatory at some point, it just doesn’t feel right.”

“No, Nicole, we can’t—”

“Waverly. We can. I _want_ to. I already quit my job.”

“You did _what_?” Waverly asks with wide eyes.

“I gave my 2 week notice 2 weeks ago.”

“You quit 2 weeks ago, and you didn’t tell me?” Waverly’s in shock.

“Someone’s going to come by to check the apartment tomorrow.”

“Oh my God,” Waverly says, running a hand through her hair, overwhelmed by the information.

“I’m telling you. Waves, I’m ready to leave New York. For now, at least, maybe we’ll come back some day, but right now at this very moment, I want to move to Purgatory with you.”

“I can’t believe you,” Waverly says, letting out a small cry of joy. “I suppose Nedley gave you a job, too?” She laughs, but the serious look on Nicole’s face makes her stop. “He did?”

“You’re looking at Purgatory’s newest Deputy.”

And with that, Waverly lost it. She lets out a squeal and jumps in Nicole’s arms. “We’re going back to Purgatory. We’re going home,” Waverly says, kissing Nicole’s lips and cheeks and nose.

Nicole laughs and pulls Waverly into a tight hug. “We’re going to Purgatory.”

And everything felt good. The air was crisp, the branches dripped of the snow that invaded New York for a while, and the sky was clear and filled with unlimited opportunities.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you thought in the comments . . . I’m kind of scared haha


	14. Love Story

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter before epilogue!! 
> 
> Happy reading :-)

_It was hard for Nicole to say goodbye to New York, her home, but it was harder to say goodbye to her best friend. Alex and Nicole hadn’t been friends for a long time. They weren’t the kind of best friends who met when they were 5-years-old in the same kindergarten class and ended up being each others’ maids of honor. They met when they started the academy, both mature enough to know what was right, and dumb enough to ignore those things. It had really only been three or four years, but everyone knows that quantity doesn’t matter in friendship._

_And their friendship was special. They were sisters, soul mates in friendship. That’s why saying goodbye was hard. But they were grown-ups. They could handle it, especially with technology being what it was. They didn’t cry at the airport—both agreed that it would be ridiculous if they did. Still, it didn’t mean that their hearts didn’t break a little._

_That’s when I came to a realization. As I watched them, sad to say goodbye, but also ready to move on, I realized that if I were in their position with any of my friends, I wouldn’t be ready. If Nicole would’ve asked me to move to New York official, I would’ve said no. I loved her, but I would not have been eager to leave my home, my friends, my family._

_I was almost 24, and I wouldn’t be able to leave my friends behind? It was ridiculous, and honestly, a little embarrassing. It’s hard for anyone to move away from those they love, from siblings and parents, but that doesn’t mean in their hearts, they weren’t ready. So, as I watched them hug, I made myself a promise._

_As sure as I knew that I loved Nicole, I knew that at some point she would want to move back to New York. I loved my town, but I also loved New York. Nicole would enjoy Purgatory, but she was a city girl, and in a few years, she would want to go back. Whenever that happened, I had to be ready to leave. So I promised myself that I would let go of the past._

_The past was the thing that was holding me back. I was accustomed to losing the people I loved. They were all taken away from me without the Universe asking me for my opinion, without my feelings in mind. Now that I had my friends, I had the choice to leave them or not. Wouldn’t it be stupid if I chose to leave them? Now that the Universe actually gave me the choice, and I chose to wonder off to New York, wouldn’t I be betraying everything I hated the Universe for?_

_I had to let go of that. I had to let go of the beliefs that were holding me back not only because it would be unfair to Nicole, but because it was unfair to me. I was putting unnecessary pressure on myself, and I had to take the weight off._

_So that’s what I did. And when Nicole asked me to move to New York 7 years later, I was able to look at her with a smile and say yes._

_She had asked me tentatively, afraid of my answer as we lay naked in our bed. She was tracing my back softly when she asked me, and I held back my laugh at her shyness, but when I turned around to face her and agreed to move to New York, the smile in her face lit up my heart._

❧

There‘s a lot of turbulence on Waverly and Nicole’s flight back to Calgary, so when Waverly looks over to Nicole, she’s confused to see a beaming smile on her face.

“Why are you smiling like that?” Waverly asks, laughing to herself and taking Nicole’s hand before leaving a light kiss on her knuckles.

“I’m happy!” Nicole says with an innocent smile.

Waverly’s heart skips a beat. After everything Nicole has been through, seeing such a big smile on her face brings her a special kind of joy, and a reminder to never take her fiancée’s smile for granted. “I’m happy your happy,” Waverly says. But, that isn’t the only reason Waverly’s happy. After being in New York for months, she’s finally heading back home, and she feels like her joy could blast her into the sky and create rainbows.

“We’re getting married, we’re going to Purgatory and officially living together. How much greater could life get?” Nicole asks, kissing Waverly quickly.

“Officially calling you my wife _would_ be pretty great,” Waverly says with a teasing smile. She shakes her head in disbelief. “I can’t believe that I’m marrying the random girl I met online. A girl who lives— _lived_ —in a different country.”

Nicole looks down at her ring finger and plays with her engagement ring. “I can’t believe it either. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but when we first talked on Tumblr, I showed you to my friend, and want to know what I said when she asked who you were?”

“What?” Waverly asks with another teasing smile. Nicole’s looking at Waverly with so much love that it makes her want to throw her back and kiss her hard.

"I said, ‘My future wife.’”

“You did not!” Waverly says, snorting, though believing her every word.

Nicole nods with a grin. “And here you are, my future wife.”

“Your future wife.” Waverly realizes that in this moment, saying I love you wouldn’t be enough, so she brings her face closer to Nicole and kisses her softly.

When Nicole pulls apart, she says, “I love you, too.”

It’s disgustingly romantic, and everything is perfect. As the couple shares a kiss, a baby behind them cries without holding back, and her mother tries with no result to calm her down. The man in the row beside them snores loudly, and someone keeps calling for peanuts. But they hear none of this. The only thing reaching their ears is the intake of their breaths as they share a kiss that they try not to take too far.

They’re able to stop themselves at the moment, but that doesn’t stop them from joining the mile high club.

❧

Waverly lets out a squeal when she sees the familiar _Welcome to Purgatory!_ sign up ahead, and Nicole lets out a small laugh.

“We missed you, baby girl,” Wynonna says suddenly, looking at Waverly over her shoulder. Doc, who’s driving, hums in agreement.

“I missed you guys, too. Don’t get me wrong, I love New York, but I was missing home.” Waverly takes Nicole’s hand in her own as she remembers that this time when Nicole steps into town, she won’t be leaving. She’s staying there with her, in her home, and she’ll sleep with her every night and be the first thing she sees every morning. She’ll write in her living room as Nicole reads. Waverly will make coffee for the both of them, and they’ll have stupid fights, slam doors in that house, and then kiss and make up.

She knows that all of that had happened in New York already, but Waverly hadn’t officially moved in. She was only a guest in Nicole’s apartment, but this time, everything is different and real. They’re going to be married in a few months. Everything is perfect.

A while later, the group is driving into the Municipal Offices’ parking lot per Nicole’s request. She wanted to drop by and say a quick hello to Sheriff Nedley and give him another thanks, this time in person. Everyone except Nicole stayed in the car—Waverly wanted to get off and say thanks to Nedley, too, but Nicole would probably be embarrassed if she went with her.

As Nicole walks in, she nods to some of the working deputies and smiles to the rest before making her way to Nedley’s office. She sees that his door is slightly open, giving her enough space to peek in and make sure that he isn’t busy. When she looks through, her hand just a millimeter away from the door ready to knock, her eyes widen.

She quickly and silently backs away from the door and into the nearest cop. She bends down beside someone—Officer Matt—as he types on his computer. When he notices her, he looks down, and gives her a weird look. “Can I help you?”

Nicole ignores this and whispers, “There’s a man inside Nedley’s office—”

“Yeah, Reid Razor.”

“You know him?” Nicole asks with wide eyes.

“Sure. He’s a cop. He was suspended last week. He’s under investigation—”

“Well this Reid Razor is holding a gun to Nedley’s head,” Nicole whispers, low enough for only Matt to hear.

“What?” Matt says, his dark brown eyes widening.

“Shh!” Nicole says with a _shut up_ look. “I was going to walk in, but I’m not armed. Nedley is sitting behind his desk, and Reid is standing across him aiming a gun at his head. You better go in quietly.”

“ _Shit,_ ” Matt mutters under his breath, and he clenches his jaw. He looks toward Nedley’s office and stands up. “You should stay here,” he says when Nicole stands up. He throws a small smile to the man beside him before walking away.

Nicole scoffs and follows Matt. She stands back and lets him peek through the door. She managed a quick glance beforehand and Nedley now has his hands against the wall, and the shooter is standing behind him.

Matt opens the door slowly, hoping to catch the shooter by surprise, and Nicole holds her breath. He succeeds, and next thing she knows, Matt is standing behind the shooter and saying, “Step away from Sheriff Nedley and throw the gun on the floor.”

Reid immediately puts his hands up, but he keeps the gun in one, aiming it toward the ceiling. He doesn’t turn around as he speaks.

“Is that you Matt?” Reid asks, his voice surprisingly deep. Nicole could hear the cocky smirk in his voice—something she wouldn’t have picked up if it weren’t for Wynonna.

“You know it is,” Matt says. His gun remains in his hands, aiming it toward Reid’s bald head.

Meanwhile, Nicole has a stupid idea. The shooter doesn’t know that anyone else is there. She could use that to her advantage, so she does. She walks through the door—which Matt left open—tiptoeing, and focusing on keeping her breathing silent. She’s reminded of when she forced herself to keep quiet when walking through the hall before she saw . . . _Stop, Nicole. Not right now,_ she thinks. She focuses her full attention on remaining silent. She glances at Matt, and his eyes widen in horror. _Get out of here!_ they say.

She shakes her head, and walks up behind Reid, slowly like a child trying to steal another cookie from the jar on top of the fridge. Matt realizes that she’s not going to leave, so he decides to help instead; he continues talking.

“Why are you doing this, Reid?” Matt asks, his voice just loud enough for the people in the room to hear. If anyone working heard, their would be an uproar, and Nedley would surely die.

“You know why, Matt,” Reid scoffs. “I was wrongfully suspended. They didn’t have any proof that would make me guilty in court—not even enough for a trial!”

“That’s why you’re under investigation, dumbass,” Nicole says. Just as Matt begins to say _what?,_ confused by the random voice in his ear, Nicole takes the hand holding the gun, keeping it toward the ceiling, and twists Reid’s other arm back. If Nicole hadn’t weakened his grasp on the gun, a shot would’ve rang through the air and through the ceiling. Sheriff Nedley gets out from in front of him, surprised to see Nicole.

Nicole knees the back of Reid’s knees, and he falls along with the gun, and she subconsciously flinches expecting a loud bang, but the only noise heard is the gun hitting the floor. The safety is on.

“Hadn’t made up your mind, Reid?” Nicole asks. “Rookie mistake.”

“Who the hell are you, _bitch_?” Reid asks. He lets out another groan as Nicole twists his arm further back.

“I’m the bitch they’re going to thank when you’re rotting in prison,” Nicole whispers in his ear. Then Matt is beside her, and they stand Reid up. Matt cuffs him as Nicole walks up to Nedley who’s sitting on his chair with his face in his hands.

She puts her hand on his shoulder. “Are you okay, sir?”

“Nicole,” he says, standing up and shaking her hand. “Yes. Just have the beginnings of a headache coming on. I think you may have just saved my life.”

“Nah,” Nicole shrugs. “His safety was off.”

“He always was a bad cop,” Nedley says, putting his hat back on. “Couldn’t even kill me right.”

Nicole doesn’t know where to laugh or smile, so she changes the topic. “I came in to thank you once again for taking me in when I saw Reid holding a gun to your head.”

“Well if you were even a bit nervous to start, you’ve just proved yourself to me.”

Nicole smiles humbly at that, and that’s when Waverly walks in.

“Hi Sheriff Ned—what the hell happened here?” Waverly asks with wide eyes. “Matt, why is Reid in handcuffs?”

“Old Reid here tried to kill Sheriff Nedley,” Matt says bluntly.

If it’s even possible, Waverly’s eyes widen more. “He did _what?”_

“I’ll tell you in the car, babe,” Nicole says, holding back a laugh at Waverly’s comical expression.

“ _Babe_?” Matt asks before looking at Waverly. “Waverly, this is your girl?”

Waverly rolls her eyes. “Yes, this is my fiancée.”

“Fiancée, ha?” Matt says, as he holds Reid in front of him. His face is red. “That’s one badass wife you’re going to have there.”

“What are you talking about?” Waverly asks, looking at them curiously.

Waverly doesn’t see Nicole face, but Nicole’s eyes slightly widen, and she imperceptibly shakes her head when Matt meets her eyes.

Matt looks back at Waverly and speaks. “She called me over when she saw Reid over here holding a gun to Nedley’s head. She handled the situation like a pro. Stayed calm and everything.”

“Well she _was_ a New York City cop,” Waverly says as Nicole gives Matt a thankful look.

Nicole knew Waverly. After all they had gone through, if she knew that Nicole threw herself into a dangerous situating unarmed and without a vest, Waverly would lose it. It didn’t matter, she thought, that she hid this thing from her. As long as Matt didn’t babble his mouth and tell everyone else and then that story spread around, Waverly would never know. (But Waverly did find out, when she was writing the beginning of her memoir—she was pretty angry.)

“Well that makes her less of a badass, and just a good cop,” Matt says with a wink.

Nicole snorts. “I’ll take it.”

A few minutes later, they leave the station, and Doc drives them to his and Wynonna’s home. Waverly and Nicole follow Wynonna and Doc inside before Wynonna tells them to go take a nap in the guest room, and that she‘ll wake them up later when their friends arrive. They’re going to officially celebrate their engagement and move to Purgatory.

The young couple goes to sleep, but not without nostalgia in their mind. They can’t help but compare this day to the day they first met after all those years of messaging back and forth on Tumblr. This time when they lay in bed together, there is no tentativeness or awkwardness—only comfort and familiarity. Nicole smells of light sweat, and Waverly slobbers on Nicole’s shoulder.

Everything is perfect.

❧

The next week, Waverly wakes up to a mug of tea being set on her nightstand, and a bright blue sky.

“Sorry,” Nicole says, scrunching her nose. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“That’s okay,” Waverly says, sitting up. Nicole kisses her forehead and goes over Waverly to sit on her side of the bed. She lays her head on Waverly’s shoulder, reveling in the warmth of her skin. She puts her hand under the duvet and lays it on Waverly’s thigh to warm it up. “Jesus.” Waverly laughs at the sudden coolness, and kisses the top of Nicole’s head.

“Have I ever told you that you look beautiful in the morning?” Nicole asks.

Waverly smiles, and puts her hand on top of the one Nicole has on her thigh. “Is it crazy if I say that I still can’t believe that we live together?”

“No, because I can’t believe it either. It feels like a dream.”

“It does, doesn’t it?” Waverly takes a sip of her hot tea, burning her tongue slightly but loving the warmth it brings her throat. They sit together in silence for a moment, before Waverly speaks. “Everything’s been unpacked, right?”

“Yes, we put away the last of everything last night.”

“Thank God,” Waverly says. “What should we do to celebrate us living together?”

“We can make waffles?” Nicole asks.

Waverly’s eyes widen in excitement. “That’s what I was thinking!”

“Yeah?” Nicole says with a laugh. “Okay, then come on.” She stands up, but then she stops, seeming to have an idea. “Last one there has to wash the dishes!” she yells and runs out of the room.

“Hey! Not fair, you were already standing!” Waverly says, throwing the duvet and 3 blankets on the floor before running out of the room.

When she gets to the living room, Nicole jumps out from beside the wall and screams, “ _Boo_!”

Waverly lets out a scream and hits Nicole’s shoulder. “Nicole!”

“What?” she asks, laughing loudly.

“I take it back. We’re not going to live together again. We can be married, but you can live next door with Ms. Diaz and her 3 cats.”

“You would hate that,” Nicole says, getting close to Waverly and hugging her despite Waverly pretending to pull away. She digs her face into Waverly’s neck and leaves a trail of chaste kisses.

“Well, if you’re going to kiss me, might as well be my lips,” Waverly says, pulling Nicole away and kissing her lips roughly. It’s messy, their teeth bumping together because of their smiles.

When they pull apart, Nicole leads Waverly to the kitchen, and they make waffles, and share kisses in between, and play with their sticky fingertips as they eat, and it’s perfect. Waverly feels so warm that she keeps remembering that whether in New York or Purgatory or Paris or in the middle of the ocean, Nicole is home. Nicole is her coffee in the morning, she‘s her pages filled with writing in the afternoon, and her extra blanket at night.

And even years later, when they were old, grey, and wrinkled, that didn’t change. Their children saw it—the vast love they shared for each other until the day they died—but so did their grandchildren, and great grandchildren. Their 3 children—Willow, Ariana, and Jeremiah—knew that they had lived full, happy lives. Yes, there was struggle in between, bad fights, and stress, but that didn’t beat their love. Nothing could ever beat their love.

They knew that despite everything, Waverly and Nicole wouldn’t have changed a single detail about their love story. Everything was perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you guys thought! 
> 
> Talk to me @writinginmind on Twitter!


	15. Home (Latibule)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter!!
> 
> Happy reading :-)

_It took a lot of work. Learning to let go of the past once and for all, learning to truly be my own person, and being comfortable with detachment, but in the end, I did alright._

_I remember the exact moment where I knew that whatever the future brought for Nicole and I, we would be ready. It was the second we shared our first kiss as wives in front of everyone we loved._

_I was in my grand white dress, and so was she. I stood in front of her, and she stood in front of me, and it was like I’d fallen in love with her all over again. My palms were sweaty, my cheeks slightly red, and I had butterflies fluttering around in my stomach, flapping their wings as fast as my heart was beating._

_She was looking at me the way only two people who have been in love could ever describe. Her eyes were clear and wide, filled with unconditional love, and she had a smile playing on her face that made the world disappear and blur into a half-lit place. We shared our vows, we shared our_ I do’s _, we shared our kisses, and we were signed, sealed, delivered, I’m hers._

 _And it was during that short kiss that I felt an understanding settle over me the way my vail had settled onto me that morning. Up until that moment, I had worked on getting my shit together and learned to grow up. I felt whole, complete, and when Nicole kissed me, I felt like an overflowing fountain. It was like I no longer had to be happy for me, but I could be happy for_ everyone.

_It was like nothing bad could ever happen to me with Nicole by my side because even if all of that overflowing water were to dry, I would still be complete._

_The wedding was beautiful, fun, and everything else in between. At first I only wanted our closest friends to show up and make it memorable, but then Nicole said, “Why don’t we just invite everybody?”_

_I thought she was crazy, but then I remembered everything we had gone through—the long distance relationship, the fights, the shooting, the PTSD... she just wanted to celebrate our love, and what better way than with the love of hundreds of people? So, a little over half of the town ended up RSVPing, and it was one of the most joy-filled days of my life._

_We forced Dolls to get ordained, and he denies it still, but he had tears in his eyes as he said, “Waverly Earp, do you take Nicole Haught to be your lawfully wedded wife?” I even heard him sniffling, though that may just be wishful thinking._

_Wynonna, the best maid of honor, stood up in front with her 2-month old baby, Alicia. And they both looked like angels under the perfect day—not too hot, and not too cold._

_Truly, I wouldn’t change a single detail about that day. Not the fact that our band didn’t show up so people took turns singing awfully, not even the fact that I dropped icing on my dress. Not when I had to see Nicole 5 minutes before the wedding because she was crying, wishing Willow were there. I wouldn’t even change the fact that Nicole hesitated before saying_ I do.

_While everyone else murmured and raised their brows when Nicole did that, I knew that she hesitated not because she wasn’t sure, but because she couldn’t believe that after everything we had gone through, we had made it._

_And we hadn’t just made it through—we had made it through stronger than ever._

❧

“Alice—I mean _Clay_!” Nicole yells. “Get over here right _now_.”

“I’m _coming_!” Alice yells.

Wynonna clears her throat.

“ _We’re_ coming,” Alice corrects.

“Hurry up! If you don’t save her now, she’ll never make it out alive!” Waverly yells.

“I’m going to _die_?” Nicole asks in shock.

“Not unless Alice and Wynonna save you,” Waverly replies in an _obviously_ tone.

It was their favorite game. Waverly would make up a story on the spot, and Nicole, Wynonna, and Alice—now four years old—would act out what she said. Currently, Wynonna and Alice were playing cowboys (they borrowed Doc’s hats and wore fake mustaches) and they were attempting to cross the bridge to save Nicole who was tied on the other side of it. The bridge was made up of a bunch of pillows piled together, and Alice kept falling.

“The tiny cowboy made his way over the unsteady bridge, inching closer toward Nick, his best friend of 20 years,” Waverly said. Alice jumped off the bridge of pillows. “And he made it safely to the ground, and like a good partner, waited for his other friend to get to him.”

“Come on, Wynn!” Alice yells.

“I’m almost there,” Wynonna yells, deepening her voice. “Go on without me for now! You have to save Nick!”

Waverly cut in. “Clay stares at Wynn for a long moment, his face hard and eyes filled with hesitance, but he also knows that Winn is one of the strongest people he knows. That he can handle himself, so with a curt nod”—Alice does a very subtle nod, keeping her face serious—“he runs toward Nick.”

Waverly looks at Nicole and winks. Nicole stars to yell, “Clay, I’m over here! I’m tied up, and I can’t get out!”

They’re only a couple feet away from each other, but Alice yells back, “I’m coming for you, Nick!”

Waverly smiles at her niece. Alice, much like Waverly, had a crazy imagination. Despite her only being four, sometimes she would be the one to narrate the stories as her mom and aunts acted out. Waverly was always proud to hear what ran through her mind. She couldn’t read, yet, but she loved when anyone read to her. Especially Waverly. Together, they created stories that they’d tell at bonfires, and they never failed to bring a smile upon everyone’s face.

“Clay goes through the castle”—Alice insisted there’d be a castle—“and finds Nick sitting by the corner with rope tied around his wrists and ankles.”

“Clay!” Nicole yells, trying to well up tears of joy in her eyes but only failing to look like she’s in pain. Waverly holds back a laugh. Her wife is the biggest dork she knows. Alice runs over to Nicole, and she pretends to untie her rope, before finally setting Nicole free.

Waverly thinks about Clay and Wynn, and how Clay let Wynn go because it was necessary, because he had an end goal in mind.

Sometimes it’s necessary to leave things behind so that you’re able to move forward. It’s hard to do that because even though parts of us can be scary and they hurt, they’re still ours. And they make us who we are. We can be so desperate to leave them behind, but we don’t. Not until we have someone to remind us about how much greater we can be, and how we deserve only the good. It’s not about forgetting, but of choosing to let go.

“I want one,” Nicole says, suddenly beside Waverly.

“A what?” Waverly says, a smile still gracing her face. Her crescent moon eyes made Nicole smile. She leans over and kisses Waverly’s forehead.

“A kid.”

Waverly’s eyes widen. “Do you mean that as a hypothetical thing, like we’ve always done or—”

“I mean, I genuinely and really want to raise a child with you, preferably as soon as possible.”

Waverly grins, and her heart feels like it grows in her chest. “Nothing would make me happier.” They kiss with smiles on their faces, and a bright sun shining down above them from the window.

“Ew!” Alice says from beside them. Waverly looks at her, and her tiny nose is scrunched up adorably.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Waverly says in a fake apologetic tone. “Did you want kisses, too?” she asks, slowly walking up to Alice.

Alice lets out a squeal and runs away with Waverly chasing her back to the pile of pillows. Nicole leans against the wall and she breathes out a laugh. Wynonna stands beside her.

“You’re going to make a great mom,” Wynonna says, remembering when Nicole told her the same. It was the push she’d ultimately needed, and she didn’t regret a single second of being a mom. Alice is one of the coolest thing she‘s ever done.

“You think so?” Nicole asks, biting her lip, but her eyes on Waverly now tickling Alice.

Wynonna nods, and makes Nicole look at her. “Without a doubt.”

Nicole smiles at her kindly, and it grows when she hears a knock on the door.

“They’re here!” Alice yells with a grin, running to the door and opening it.

“Alice, what did I tell you about opening the door without me?” Wynonna says sternly.

“Sorry,” Alice mumbles as everyone walks in, but doesn’t really have the audacity to look regretful. She grins as she hugs everyone walking in.

“Happy anniversary!” Rosita screams, as she gives the married couple a hug.

“A whole four years, I’m so happy for you two,” Jeremy says, walking in hand in hand with his husband of a little over a year, Daniel. Daniel smiles at them, and gives them each a kiss after a congratulations.

“Thanks,” Waverly says, smiling at the couple. They were complete opposites. Whereas Jeremy was, well, Jeremy, Daniel was confident and unafraid—it’s what led him to be the richest person in the room. But they had the same heart. They were both selfless, humble, and all around kind people. Daniel had left his apartment with a view in Montreal, and had moved to Purgatory for Jeremy. Waverly’s heart had melted when she found out, and knew then that if anybody deserved Jeremy, it was Daniel.

Dolls walks into the house, breaking her train of thought.

“Happy anniversary, ladies,” he says with a rare grand smile. “I’m happy for you two.” Nicole and Waverly hug him at the same time.

“Thanks, Dolls,” Nicole says. “I was thinking of going down to the gym tomorrow and kicking your ass for a couple rounds.”

Dolls raises his brows at her. “Sure, and maybe afterward I’ll go to Sheriff Nedley and tell him you’re the one who broke into it a couple weeks ago.”

Nicole hits his arm. “You know I didn’t break in... it was open.”

“In the middle of the night? I always make sure it’s locked.”

“I wanted to blow off some steam, I told you already!”

Dolls laughs. “I know, I’m just teasing.”

“Where’s Megan?” Waverly asks out of nowhere, turning to look at Rosita.

“Oh, Megan will be here later. They had to finish up some work,” she answers as she looks down. She already knows what Waverly’s going to say.

“Great, so when are they gonna propose?” Waverly asks with teasing eyes. Rosita snorts, and rolls her eyes in response, but all that did was prove to Waverly how much Rosita loved Megan. Waverly knew that when she looked down, it’s because she didn’t want her to see the excitement in her eyes.

Waverly looks at Nicole and she rolls her eyes at her, too, with a small smile playing on her face. Waverly laughs.

Doc walks out from the hallway at that time, and with a smile on his face he spoke. “Hello,” he whispered, grabbing a hold of the tiny arm in his arms and waving to everyone.

Everyone cooed, and said hi as if Noah, who was only 2 months, would pay them any attention. Waverly stood up and took him from Doc’s arms. She looked down at him, his big eyes, his tiny eyelashes and nose, and his gorgeous face. She ran her thumb across his warm forehead and whispered, “How’s my favorite nephew?”

Nicole stood behind her and wrapped her arms around her waist, and put her head on her shoulder. “Hi, baby,” she said with a smile filled with awe at the smallness of the human.

Waverly looked at her, and kissed her cheek. “Happy anniversary, my love.”

“Happy anniversary. I can only hope for a hundred more years with you,” Nicole whispers.

Waverly, blushing now (and unbelieving that Nicole can still make her do that) looks at everyone around her. They’re all smiling at them. She leans against Nicole’s chest, and feels at home. Nicole is her latibule, and the greatest part is that she’s Nicole’s, too.

❧

_I know you usually put a quote in the beginning of the book, but I figured since our story is different, this book could be different, too._

_Nicole, in the words of Tyler Knott Gregson, "You are the poem I never knew how to write and this life is the story I have always wanted to tell."_

_New York_

_12:45 PM_

_Waverly Earp_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whether you’ve been reading Latibule for a couple weeks or since July of 2017, I am endlessly grateful for you. Thank for joining me on this journey. Latibule was my home, too.
> 
> For anyone who has left or leaves kudos and comments, they mean the world. I write because I love it, because I’ll go crazy if I don’t, but the acknowledgement feels pretty damn good, too. :)
> 
> If you’d like to talk or have any questions, just message or tweet me! @writinginmind


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